Gizoogle is fun

The plot to the Rescue 911 episode "Arlington"
Eight-year-old Laura Hollingsworth thought dat biiiiatch was trippin when she opened her eyes n' saw a playa standin over tha bed wit a glock pointed at her n' shit. Dat shiznit was up in Arlington, Texas, shortly before dawn on December 14, 1988, n' Laura n' her father, Dale, was asleep up in Dalez bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Lauraz brother, fourteen-year-old Buddy, was asleep down tha hall. Unfortunately, Laura wasn't trippin.

Da intruder raised up Dale, forced his ass outta tha room at gunpoint, n' made his ass cut tha beeper wires. Laura lay up in bed, terrified, n' heard tha intruder yellin ta a accomplice. Laura screamed fo' her father, n' when da ruffneck didn't respond, she ran tha fuck into tha livin room n' found his ass on tha floor, scufflin wit tha robber n' shit. Laura raced ta tha beeper up in tha kitchen, where luckily tha wires had not yet been cut. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch dialed 911.

"Therez a playa up in mah house!" Lauraz voice quivered up in fear. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. "Dude broke up in wit a gun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Dat punk threatening-" "I have five-o fools on tha way," responded Arlington Popo Department Dispatcher Valerie Nelson, whoz ass heard tha fightin up in tha background. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Stay on tha phone."

As five-o fools sped ta tha scene, Nelson dissed Laura yo, but between Lauraz panic n' tha commotion up in tha background, Nelson was unable ta make sense outta what tha fuck was happening. "Therez a glock n' a knife," screamed Laura up in tears. "Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck has tha knife?" axed Nelson. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "My fuckin brutha playa! Dude was goin ta bust a cap up in mah daddy if da ruffneck didn't tell his ass where his wallet was!"

Laura of course meant tha robber was goin ta bust a cap up in her daddy yo, but it came across ta Nelson as if Lauraz brutha n' daddy was fighting. "I be thinkin he gots tha muthafucka!" "Whoz gots tha muthafucka?" axed Nelson. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "My fuckin dad." "Yo crazy-ass daddy has-" "Buddy!" Laura let up a funky-ass blood-curdlin scream. "Whatz goin on?" "Oh, God, Buddy!" cried Laura hysterically. "Please!" Nelson heard a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass blasted fired. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Dude capped tha muthafucka!" cried Laura. "Yo crazy-ass daddy blasted tha burglar?" axed Nelson. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "Fuck dat shit, Buddy done did." "Yo crazy-ass brother?" "Dude blasted mah dad, too!"

As tha mad drama mounted, five-o fools responded ta what tha fuck they thought was a thugged-out domestic disturbance. Nelson holla'd at Laura ta open tha door fo' tha fools whoz ass stood outside wit glocks drawn. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. But Laura didn't trust tha dispatcher, n' Buddy thought tha five-o outside might straight-up be tha robberz accomplices. Da fools could peep Buddyz silhouette inside tha crib yo. Dude was holdin a rifle yo, but tha fools didn't realize da thug was a scared fourteen-year-old protectin his dirty ass n' his fuckin lil sister.

"I need yo' help," Nelson holla'd at Laura sternly. "It aint nuthin but tha five-o outside. Yo ass betta git all up in tha door?" "No," replied Laura. "It aint nuthin but tha phat playas outside!" urged Nelson. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "Tell Buddy ta come ta tha phone." Nelson desperately explained ta Buddy dat tha five-o was afraid of him, dat dat schmoooove muthafucka had ta come up before rescuers could safely git inside ta help his wounded daddy n' shit. Finally Buddy dropped tha rifle n' came out, followed by Laura. Officers handcuffed Buddy, unaware dat he'd just saved his wild lil' fatherz game by cappin' tha robber wit his wild lil' fatherz hustlin rifle.

Buddy was quickly busted out from custody. Dizzy recovered from tha stab woundz inflicted by tha eighteen-year-old robber, Douglas Spencer Collins. But tha accomplice was never found. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dizzy n' his crew never dropped another night up in they house. "Ugh, what tha fuck a cold-ass lil call," recalls dispatcher Nelson.

"If I had dem calls everyday, I could not do dis thang. Yo ass realize how tha fuck close they came ta losin it all. I literally didn't own anythang of value dat I would miss mo' than a half-minute," say Dizzy sadly. "I git upset thankin bout dis shit. I gots all cut up yo, but, jeez, you know, I didn't want mah kid ta bust a cap up in some muthafucka." "For tha rest of mah game I be bout ta always remember tha dizzle dis happened," say Buddy. "It'll depend on tha thang all up in tha time if I be bout ta feel aiiight we kickin it, or I be bout ta feel fucked up dat it happened."

Nelson feels dat tha key ta tha successful outcome was Laura. Despite her terror, dat freaky freaky biatch had tha presence of mind ta 911 n' managed ta remain calm n' relay events over tha phone. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Says Dale, "If Laura hadn't called 911, if Buddy hadn't intervened, if tha dispatcher hadn't known how tha fuck ta do her thang, I would be dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. And I feel mah lil pimps would be, like a muthafucka."

The plot to the Rescue 911 episode "Conrail Train"
Ramsey, New Jersey is tha kind of hood where not a god damn thang much eva happens. But on May 1, 1989, suttin' frightenin did hommie! Conductor Anthony Falzo was on a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass short hall from New York ta New Jersey wit his wild lil' fuckin engineer, Slick Rick Campana. "Our thugged-out asses had nineteen loaded rides n' one engine. Us thugs was eastsidebound on New Jersey Transit approachin Ramsey," rethugz Richard.

Kate Pritchard was just returnin home from bustin errandz up in town. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch was bustin a funky-ass black hoodie n' white pants, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. "My fuckin usual deal on Mondizzle mornings was ta do mah grocery hustlin. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So I packed tha lil playas up in tha car, we went ta tha grocery store, n' then came home. I guess dat shiznit was on some quarta ta 11:00 when we came home," her big-ass booty holla'd.

When Kate n' her homeboy, Gary, was lookin fo' a safe hood up in which ta raise a cold-ass lil crew, dis place had seemed perfect. "We live up in a cold-ass lil cul-de-sac wit many, nuff children, n' they always playin up there knowin dat they not allowed up in tha woodz n' dat they not allowed ta even go near tha train tracks at all!" recalls Kate.

Kate trusted her three-year-old son, Todd, ta look afta his one-and-a-half-year-old brother, Scott, while dat dunkadelic hoe took tha groceries tha fuck into tha house. "Therez such a dunkadelic difference between these two thugs. Todd has always been straight-up cautious n' mo' intense. I mean, eva since da thug was lil, if you holla'd at him, 'Don't bust a nut on dat cuz you gonna be hurt if you do,' da thug wouldn't fo' realz. And then there be a Scott. I be thinkin if I had Scott first, I probably wouldn't have had another one until da thug was up in college biaaatch! Dat punk fearless, he just basically fearless," declared Kate matter-of-factly.

Da tracks is temptingly close, less than 300 feet from tha Pritchard crew home biaaatch! While Kate was unloadin tha groceries n' brangin dem tha fuck into tha house, Todd n' Scott was instructed ta stay near tha driveway n' play. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch could hear tha distant blast of a train whistle, presumably a Amtrak or possibly a Passenger Express locomotive. "We'd always had a gangbangin' fear of tha tracks. In tha back of yo' mind, you would think, 'God, I just hope these lil playas learn dat they should never go there!'" rethugz Kate.

But on dis morning, they done did. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Todd n' Scott made they way all up in tha woodz ta play on tha tracks just beyond. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! As Anthony n' Slick Rick made they way tha fuck into Ramsey, tha sound of tha speedin train caught tha attention of tha thugs fo' realz. Afta makin they way all up in tha trees, they climbed ta tha top of tha steep roadbed, knelt down along tha tracks, n' fuckin started ta fuck wit they toy rides n' trucks.

Meanwhile, tha train was chuggin along down tha railway at a speed of 40 milez per hour. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. "I saw suttin' movin n' it moved like suttin' kickin it, not like wind blowin something. Whatever it was, we was bout ta hit dat shiznit son!" holla'd Richard. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Within secondz of seein dat dat shiznit was two children, Slick Rick slammed down on tha emergency brakes n' blew tha train whistle at full juice playa! Da whistlez blast n' Anthonyz lyrics blew up like a muthafucka all up in tha same time: "Kidz on tha track!" "When tha engineer just let his hand down on dat train whistle n' it just kept blowing, I just had dis wack gut feelin dat suttin' was definitely wack wit tha thugs," holla'd Kate sadly.

Anthony sprang all up in tha cab door onto a narrow hustlin board six feet above tha wheels n' raced ta tha front of tha swayin train. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Climbin quickly down a steel ladder, he paused all up in tha bottom, two feet above tha roadbed flashin by. Now his schmoooove ass could clearly peep tha two children, whoz ass was chillin alongside tha rail fo' realz. Anthony waved wildly yo, but they could barely hear his voice over tha bangin whistle. "Git away dawwwwg! Git away!" yelled Anthony frantically.

Kate rethugz hustlin toward tha tracks from tha driveway. "I couldn't git up there fast enough cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce. Those hairy-ass legz of mine just wouldn't move fast enough cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce. I gots ta tha end of tha driveway n' tha whole time, I was beatboxin up fo' Todd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I was just beatboxin his name," she recalls.

Anthony lost view from tha front of tha engine n' couldn't peep up in front of his muthafuckin ass. Da wide snow plow on tha front of tha train had only 12 inchez of clearance. Even wit tha brakes on, tha weight of tha 250-ton train carried it mo' than a hundred feet past where tha thugs was playin on tha tracks. "As soon as it stopped, I jumped off ta peep what tha fuck had happened n' if Tony was all right. I thought, 'That lil pimp was capped,'" holla'd Richard.

Anthony holla'd at Slick Rick ta booty-call a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dispatcher n' dat they needed five-o n' a ambulance, n' Slick Rick agreed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I just remember seein tha snow plow hit tha smallest lil pimp up in tha head. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Automatically, I be thinking, 'Dat punk havin severe head fuck-ups,'" holla'd Anthony sadly. Meanwhile, Todd was jumpin up n' down on tha railway, bustin up like a biatch hysterically. "Oh mah God, what tha fuck happened?!" axed Kate frantically.

Anthony twisted ta grill her n' shit. "Ma'am," da perved-out muthafucka holla'd up in a cold-ass lil calm voice, "go back ta yo' house. Call tha five-o n' ambulance." Kate, only half hearin him, extended her arms ta take Scott fo' realz. Anthony was rappin again, mo' sharply, "Ma'am, listen! Go ta yo' doggy den n' call tha police-call a ambulance. Go!"

At 11:05am, Katez call fo' help came in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Fifteen-year veteran Glenn Carpovich was tha straight-up original gangsta respondin fool on tha scene. "When I heard tha call, I expected tha worst. Normally, a thug involved wit a train ta any degree be a gangbangin' fatal accident," he explained.

Afta Kate made tha call, she reached Gary via his beeper n' shit. "I dialed mah homeboy, n' I holla'd, 'Scottz been hit by a train. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Just git home as fast as you can.' I did not know tha dark shiznit of what tha fuck state Scott was in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Blood was comin outta his nose, his crazy-ass grill, n' tha top of his head. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Anthony holla'd, 'We need ta git you ta tha hospitizzle.' And I holla'd, 'Please just wait all dem mo' minutes fo' mah homeboy.' Knowin dat if he gots there n' saw our asses gone, tha skanky muthafucka would've just fallen apart son! I wanted his ass there wit me," her big-ass booty holla'd tearfully.

Welcome to LazyTown
Yo, wuz crackalackin', biatch? Yo ass is smokin LazyHood,&lt;br /&gt; a place where you gonna wanna stay!&lt;br /&gt; You'll hook up Robbie wit his bangin rotten plan&lt;br /&gt; and Sportacus savin tha day.

Stephanie is freshly smoked up in town,&lt;br /&gt; and soon she n' Ziggy is playas.&lt;br /&gt; With Pixel, Stingy n' Trixie, too,&lt;br /&gt; they gonna gotz a funky-ass blast together!

Go, go, go, git up LazyHood&lt;br /&gt; itz tha start of a funky-ass brand freshly smoked up day!&lt;br /&gt; Things is upside-down here up in LazyHood&lt;br /&gt; adventurez just a moment away!

The plot to the Rescue 911 episode "Train Track Hero"
Robert Jost was headed ta tha intersection of Palmetto Park on dat fateful dizzle up in 1994 n' was 100 feet fo' tha train tracks fo' realz. As da thug was bout ta turn towardz tha tracks dat schmoooove muthafucka heard tha whistle of tha locomotizzle on some mile away.

Bout tha same time tha Vegas was approachin tha intersection up in tha opposite direction. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. They could also hear tha train approachin fo' realz. At tha last minute rides was speedin all up in tha intersection when tha gates come down trappin Joanne whoz ass was up in tha lead hoopty on tha tracks fo' realz. A pile-up happened n' tha hoopty behind Joanne rear ended n' pushed her all up in tha gate.

By dis time tha train was already up in emergency n' speedin towardz tha crossing. Louis gets outta his hoopty n' headz fo' tha crossin ta extract Joanne yo. Dude manages ta git tha hoopty door open, release Joannez seat belt, gets her tha fuck into a hug, n' rolls outta tha way. Fifteen secondz lata tha train barreled all up in tha crossin n' totaled Joannez car.

Robert gots on tha beeper n' called 911. Eight minutes lata tha Boca Raton Fire Department arrived n' treated Joanne n' took her ta tha hospitizzle. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch sustained minor fuck-ups ta her neck, back, n' shoulder n' shiznit fo' realz. Afta realizin dat tha fuck-ups was not fatal dat biiiiatch was busted out dat same day.

Weeks afta tha accident Joanne invited tha Vegas over ta her place fo' a jam n' they gots betta acquainted of each other but they still remember dat fateful dizzle when Joannez game was almost lost all up in tha deal wit a speedin train.

Louis went back ta school n' was lata certified fo' rescue work yo. Dude is up in tha right place all up in tha right time yo. His son, Alex, even compared his ass ta tha Red Ranger from Juice Rangers.

Don't Forget Your Umbrella
I be goin ta run away!

We bout ta find you, nahmean biiiatch, biatch? We know all yo' "secret" hidin spots!

But if, if, if I go outside?

Don't forget yo' umbrella!

The plot for the Rescue 911 episode "Boxcar Boy"
Wanda Determan was up in da crib watchin her sons. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch had hit dat shiznit late dat dizzle n' went ta chill before tha start of her shift at a gangbangin' factory. That dizzle Steven n' his wild lil' playas, Eric n' Jeremy, went ta play up in tha creek. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Steven wanted ta peep what tha fuck was on tha other side of tha hill. Da thugs came up on railroad tracks. Little did they know they was outside of Avon Yard which is CSX Transportz phattest facilitizzle up in Indiana.

On dis dizzle a local was bein made up ta serve up some rides ta a grainery outside of Lafayette, tha emptizzles was bein picked up at Avon n' a sidin outside tha yard fo' delivery. Da thugs climbed onto tha train, tha engineer blew tha whistle, n' tha local pulled outta tha yard wit Steven inside dat shit. Eric n' Jeremy jumped off n' headed home while Steven went down tha manhole tha fuck into tha hoopty n' there he remained fo' three minutes wit not a god damn thang ta smoke but grain seedz which was all up in tha bottom of tha car.

Back up in Indianapolis Wanda raised up n' axed her son, Thomas, whoz ass was bustin his homework, where Steven was yo. Dude holla'd dat schmoooove muthafucka had not peeped him, a Amber Alert was activated, n' they started searchin fo' his muthafuckin ass.

Meanwhile, back on tha train, Steven was headed ta Lafayette. Da next dizzle tha search fuckin started tha five-o searched tha streets while tha two regionals n' tha four class one railroadz searched tha yardz but they did not find Steven or his cold-ass train. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Jeremy n' Eric came forward but they did not tell tha five-o dat they broke tha fuck into Avon Yard. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da K9s was also dispatched n' a cold-ass lil chopper searched Avon Yard fo' 50 miles.

On tha third dizzle Steven n' his cold-ass train arrived up in Lafayette n' stopped at a grain elevator yo. Dude was up in shiznit cuz tha engine was goin ta set tha rides out, load dem wit grain, n' head back ta Avon Yard wit his ass up in dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

Nearby Linda Yost n' her grandson, Joey, was bustin tha same thang. "Dat shiznit was on dat mornin dat we was chillin down wit our babysittas watchin Thomas Da Tank Engine. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly Joey heard noises. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Steven shouted, 'Help! Git me outta here biaaatch! They is loadin tha train!,'" Linda holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Joey holla'd tha train was poppin' off n' she knew somthang was wrong. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch called 911 n' tha five-o arrived all dem minutes lata ta extract Steven from tha train. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude holla'd da thug was hungry, thirsty, cold, n' scared but da thug was fine. Joey was given tha Junior Officer Badge by tha five-o fo' savin Stevenz game. Days lata Joey, Linda, Steven, n' tha rescuers kicked it wit up wit Stevenz crew.

The plot for the Rescue 911 episode "Motel Hostage"
On September 13, 1989, Agnes White was hustlin her thang as tha desk clerk all up in tha Red Roof Inn up in Richmond, Virginia, when two lil' pimps strutted tha fuck into tha lobby n' axed fo' thang applications. Vince Lubrano, tha manager, heard dem from his crib while on tha phone yo. Dude holla'd all up in tha thug on tha other line dat he'll call dem back yo. Dude gots straight-up trippin cuz dat schmoooove muthafucka heard on tha shizzle bout robberies dat was goin' down when tha suspects axed fo' thang applications. They had no help wanted adz up in tha paper or any thang openings fo' realz. Agnes gave tha pimps tha applications. Vince strutted passed tha lobby ta investigate. Da pimps looked at his ass n' holla'd wassup yo, but he kept on goin yo. Dude went outside n' saw a funky-ass blue hoopty parked by a room dat was rented by a regular hommie but was not tha guestz hoopty yo. Dude saw dat it had a Pennsylvania license plate n' knew dat tha pimps weren't thang applicants yo. Dude holla'd all up in tha housekeeper dat they was robbin tha lobby yo. Dude unlocked a room wit a special key n' called 911.

Vince holla'd all up in tha dispatcher dat they inn was bein robbed n' dat a location up in Hampton had gotten robbed by tha same suspects all dem minutes earlier n' shit. Back up in tha lobby, tha suspects holla'd they wanted ta work there full time. Da housekeeper also called 911. Officer Allan Milez n' Sgt. Roger Burke responded. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Milez was much closer n' shit. Da suspects was holdin Agnes at gunpoint when he pulled in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. One suspect gots up n' Milez chased his muthafuckin ass. They ran ta a parkin lot wit fuckin shitloadz of playas around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da suspect tried ta hijack a truck n' scared tha driver away. Milez couldn't blast cuz da thug was afraid dat he might hit or bust a cap up in one of mah thugs other than tha suspect.

Vince called Agnes from tha lobby n' dat dunkadelic hoe holla'd at his ass dat tha suspects had guns. Milez continued ta chase tha suspect whoz ass pointed his wild lil' freakadelic glock at his muthafuckin ass. Milez yelled fo' tha suspect ta drop it yo, but he gots away. Then da thug was spotted hustlin by railroad tracks by Burke. Burke gots outta his hoopty n' started chasin his muthafuckin ass. Burke repeatedly holla'd at his ass ta drop his wild lil' freakadelic glock yo, but he kept on going. Meanwhile tha other suspect took Agnes hostage fo' realz. At a gas station across tha street, manager Herb Watas holla'd at one of mah thugs ta booty-call 911. They holla'd all up in tha dispatcher dat tha suspect took Agnes hostage n' where they was going. Burke was still chasin tha suspect. Then he gave up n' slowed down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. When Milez found Burke arrestin tha suspect, Detectizzle Mark Segal arrived up in a unmarked car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Milez was outta breath yo. Dude holla'd at Segal ta go back ta tha inn n' arrest tha second suspect. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Segal went back ta tha inn n' Herb holla'd at his ass where they went.

Segal n' another fool gots on Interstate 95 n' eventually found tha hoopty yo. Dude holla'd at Agnes ta stop dat shit. Da suspect holla'd ta ignore his ass yo, but Segal stopped his hoopty up in front of tha suspectz hoopty n' holla'd at his ass ta drop his wild lil' freakadelic gun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Then tha suspect pointed his wild lil' freakadelic glock at Segal, whoz ass blasted his ass all up in tha windshield. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Agnes gots a cold-ass lil cut on her arm from tha glass when tha suspect was shot. Da suspect, 20-year-old Daryl Webb, was taken ta tha hospitizzle by helicopta wit four gunshot woundz ta tha chest yo. Dude n' his thugged-out accomplice, 21-year-old Frederick Ferrell, both of Durham, Uptown Carolina, was charged wit abduction n' robbery, convicted, n' busted ta prison.

Agnes n' her lil hustla wanted ta give props ta Segal fo' savin her game.

It's a Brand New Day!
Gather 'round n' sit right down

Doesn't matta whoz ass you next to

We a shitload tha same yo, but wit different names

And there be a all kindsa muthafuckin thangs dat we gonna do

Yo ass might feel a lil bit shy

But we all feel dat way sometimes

It aint nuthin but a freshly smoked up adventure

It aint nuthin but a funky-ass brand freshly smoked up day

Anythang can happen when our slick asses laugh n' we play

Yo, wuz crackalackin', biatch? Yo ass is smokin dis brand freshly smoked up day

It aint nuthin but a freshly smoked up adventure

It aint nuthin but a funky-ass brand freshly smoked up day

Anythang can happen, when our slick asses laugh n' we play

Yo, wuz crackalackin', biatch? Yo ass is smokin dis brand freshly smoked up day.

The plot for the Rescue 911 episode "911 Yellow Cab"
For 12 years, Bob n' Doris Hart lived up in tha same doggy den up in Indianapolis, Indiana. On tha mornin of March 28th, 1991, shortly afta 7:00, one of mah thugs was knockin on they door while Doris was takin a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shower n' Bob was still up in bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Doris holla'd at Bob ta answer it yo. Dude gots outta bed n' went downstairs yo. Dude answered tha door n' kicked it wit a playa bustin a funky-ass basebizzle cap dat holla'd, "Police." Da playa axed ta drop a rhyme ta Bob n' Doris' son, Dizzy yo, but Bob holla'd at his ass dat Dizzy moved away. Then tha playa axed if his schmoooove ass can come up in n' cook up a funky-ass beeper call n' Bob agreed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! But tha playa pulled up a glock n' held Bob at gunpoint. Doris heard tha shoutin from upstairs n' locked tha bedroom door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Da suspect was accompanied by a maxed gunman whoz ass also entered tha house. They was spittin some lyrics ta Bob dat they was afta Dizzy whoz ass owed dem scrilla.

Doris called 911 n' holla'd all up in tha dispatcher they was bein robbed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da maxed suspect broke tha fuck into tha bedroom n' beat down her n' shit. Dispatcher Mike O'Dizzle took over tha call yo. Dude holla'd dat dat schmoooove muthafucka had robbery calls before yo, but never like dis one.

Sheriffz Deputy Ted Cassidy, whoz ass was closer ta tha house, responded. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude was rollin straight-up slow ta look fo' it when tha suspects' hoopty pulled up n' started ta lead his ass on a wild chase yo. Dude was scared dat his thugged-out lil' patrol hoopty would crash n' dat da thug would git capped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! While tha chase resumed, one suspect jumped outta tha hoopty while dat shiznit was movin n' ran off. Cassidy holla'd dat da perved-out muthafucka saw shiznit like dat up in tha pornos yo, but never up in real game. Dat shiznit was also a school dizzle n' lil playas was boardin tha school buses. Cassidy was straight-up scared n' had visionz of tha suspect hittin or cappin' any of tha lil playas whoz ass gots up in his way yo. Dude crashed tha fuck into a sign n' Cassidy arrested his muthafuckin ass. O'Dizzle hollared when he gots taken tha fuck into custody. Cassidy went ta look fo' tha second suspect.

Indianapolis Popo n' K9 units was lookin fo' tha second suspect whoz ass had just robbed a YMCA. They called O'Dizzle n' holla'd at his ass dat dat schmoooove muthafucka had robbed dem wild-ass muthafuckas. Cassidy went ta tha dispatch centa ta help O'Dizzle git tha five-o n' sheriffz deputizzles ta arrest tha suspect. Da YMCA holla'd at O'Dizzle dat he escaped up in a yellow cab yo. Dude called tha cab company n' axed where tha one dat left tha YMCA was headin to. Its number was 518 n' Cassidy n' O'Dizzle was waitin fo' a response from cab driver Bernard Lewis. They called his hoopty phone yo. Dude answered n' O'Dizzle axed his ass where they were, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Da five-o n' sheriffz deputizzles responded ta tha call. Officer Ron Busy saw tha cab, stopped it, n' arrested tha suspect. Cassidy, O'Day, n' tha other dispatchers all hollared when Busy caught his muthafuckin ass. Both pleaded guilty ta burglary n' was sentenced ta 15 muthafuckin years on lockdown.

Bob n' Doris went on wit they lives, put intercoms on they front door, n' was aiiight fo' Cassidy, tha sheriffz deputies, n' tha five-o fo' savin they lives.

The plot for the Rescue 911 episode "Sister Save"
On November 29, 1989, Dizzy n' Cynthia Cargill left they two daughters, eight-year-old Kate n' six-year-old Erin, up in tha care of a funky-ass babysitta overnight fo' tha last time. But they had no reason ta be worried on dat on tha down-low night up in Dallas, Texas.

Dizzy holla'd all up in tha hoes ta be good, be up in bed by 8:00, busted dem phat night, holla'd dat he loved them, n' left. "That evenin we axed tha sitta ta stay dat night cuz mah homeboy always skits basketbizzle on Wednesdizzle nights, n' dat particular night dat schmoooove muthafucka had ta git all up in work early. We knew da thug wasn't goin ta be home dat evenin n' I was outta hood on bidnizz dat evening, so our crazy asses had ta git a sitter n' shit. Dat shiznit was hard as fuck fo' me as far as bustin that," holla'd Cynthia. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch was apprehensive bout leavin her lil pimps up in tha care of one of mah thugs.

Kate, Erin, n' tha babysitta peeped TV fo' a while fo' realz. Around 8pm, tha babysitta had tha hoes git locked n loaded fo' bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Kate n' Erin was chillin up in tha same room together, which was normally Erinz room yo, but since tha babysitta was stayin dat night, dat biiiiatch was goin ta chill up in Katez room," holla'd Cynthia. Da babysitta put tha hoes ta bed, tucked dem in, n' apparently shut they bedroom door so dat biiiiatch wouldn't disturb dem cuz dat biiiiatch wanted ta stay up n' peep televizzle.

Lata dat night, a gangbangin' fire broke up in tha den. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da Cargills had checked they smoke alarm just two weeks before yo, but on dat night, it didn't work. Da fire gots so big-ass dat it blasted tha windows, breakin dem n' triggerin tha burglar alarm, awakenin tha babysitter n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch gots off tha couch, ran ta tha den, n' screamed, "Oh, mah God!" all up in tha sight of tha fire. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch then screamed tha girls' names, n' Kate, hearin tha alarm go off, gots outta bed, saw smoke comin up in all up in tha door, n' touched tha handle, which was hot. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch yelled at Erin ta wake up, crawled beneath tha smoke ta tha window, n' tried breakin it wit her hand yo, but dat thugged-out biiiatch couldn't. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch screamed as bangin as dat thugged-out biiiatch could fo' mah playas ta help.

A passerby noticed tha blaze n' ran ta a nearby doggy den where da thug woke Dwight Bookout. "Our thugged-out asses heard a poundin on tha door, n' by dis time tha smell was overwhelming. Da fire was rapidly gettin outta control." Dwight called Gay Patrick n' axed her ta booty-call 911 n' git assistizzle as quickly as possible yo. Dude knew tha hoes was up in tha doggy den n' his crazy-ass muthafuckin immediate concern was, "My fuckin God, where is tha children?!" Gayz call fo' help came up in at 12:54am. "I thought, 'How tha fuck could dis be happening?' It didn't seem like dat shiznit was real; I thought I was havin a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shitty-ass dream," holla'd Gay. "Dat shiznit was one of dem thangs where you hope fo' a miracle". Emergency units from tha Dallas Fire Department was immediately dispatched. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Fire investigator Tomothy Owen was also busted ta tha scene. "Anytime you gotz a gangbangin' fire up in tha house, lil pimps will intend ta hide from it," he recalled.

Meanwhile, Kate knew she needed suttin' hard ta break tha window up in order ta git out, which she hustled up in school. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch found a nearby chair, grabbed it, n' used it ta break tha window. Even when Kate broke tha glass, tha screen kept her n' Erin trapped inside. Da babysitta heard Katez cries fo' help, took off tha screen, n' gots her out. They then ran ta tha middle of tha yard yo, but Erin was missing. Kate ran back ta tha window ta git her, n' by tha time dat thugged-out biiiatch climbed out, tha entire doggy den was up in flames.

Da fire trucks was all up in tha scene within seven minutes, lead by captain Bizzle Crawford. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "By tha time we'd gotten ta tha house, dat shiznit was straight-up burning," he remembered. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Da glass had blew up like a muthafucka up in tha front part of tha house, n' there was flames everywhere, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. It aint nuthin but a miracle dat tha sistas escaped from they home, n' if dis lil' hoe had never followed tha presence of mind ta follow tha instructions dat freaky freaky biatch had hustled, then they wouldn't have made dat shit." Da hoes n' tha babysitta could only peep tha doggy den bein fucked wit by tha fire up in terror n' sadness. Later, Dizzy n' Cynthia was called by tha five-o ta rush home as quickly as possible.

"Kate was able ta do tha right thang, n' dat was just fine," continued Owen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "Bitch didn't gotta go back up in ta git her sister, which hit dat shiznit up pimped out up in dis case. But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat dis aint tha aiiight thang; once you outta a funky-ass burnin building, stay up n' don't go back in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Muthafuckas dat go back tha fuck into burnin buildings probably can't escape kickin it." "Dat shiznit was such a cold-ass lil close call," explained Cynthia. "We poppin' off bout if dat shiznit was delayed no mo', or had Katherine opened tha bedroom door, they would done been capped immediately."

Da Cargills went ta tha joint of they burned-down doggy den n' looked at dat shit. Dizzy found a shitload of Katez schoolwork among tha ashes. "Da fire hustlin dat tha lil pimps had was like up in depth. By our asses instillin up in Kate n' Erin what tha fuck need ta happen ta git theyselves outta tha fire, it saved they lives. I just can't say enough bout fire ejaculation, as far as up in tha schools n' what tha fuck tha fire department do," he explained. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Da thought of losin tha lil pimps is still like frightenin ta us. It aint nuthin but suttin' I be bout ta be thinkin bout fo' like a long-ass time."

Investigators determined dat tha fire was caused by faulty wirin up in tha den. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Three months later, tha Cargills fuckin started puttin tha piecez of they game back together n' tried ta erase tha memory of dat near tragic night. "We lost every last muthafuckin thang n' it soundz kind of corny yo, but you realize dat game is short. Well shiiiit, it make you just straight-up take time ta trip off game cuz it could be over up in a matta of seconds," holla'd Cynthia.

Although Kate received awardz fo' her heroism, she joints most of tha praise from her peers. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch read lettas from dem playas whoz ass saw her picture up in tha newspaper n' shit. "Every once up in a while, I be bout ta take a thugged-out deep breath n' just realize how tha fuck close we came ta losin our children; dat make all tha difference up in tha ghetto cuz not a god damn thang else straight-up matters," holla'd Cynthia. Kate straight-up was a hero.

The plot for the Rescue 911 episode "Teen Hides From Intruders"
Around 7am on July 9, 1993, up in Surrey, British Columbia, Canada, Ruth Kerr headed ta work, leavin her daughter, Sharon, home ridin' solo fo' only tha third or fourth time. "Dat shiznit was a unusual thang yo, but dat biiiiatch was 13. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So dat dunkadelic hoe thought dat dat thugged-out biiiatch could be on her own up in da crib aiiight," rethugz Ruth.

Around 2pm, Shazzle suddenly heard one of mah thugs persistently knockin on tha door n' repeatedly ringin tha doorbell. In tha middle of all dis commotion, tha crew dog, Courtney, was barkin all muthafuckin day. It make me wanna hollar playa! When Shazzle went ta tha door, her big-ass booty saw a muthafucka n' hoe whoz ass her dope ass didn’t recognize. Da knockin n' ringin continued fo' all dem minutes. Then, assumin there was no muthafucka home, they kicked tha door down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Shazzle frantically grabbed tha cordless phone, ran tha fuck into her bedroom, n' called 911 fo' realz. As dat dunkadelic hoe talked on tha phone, Shazzle hid beside her wata bed.

Da call was answered by RCMP Communications operator Jaqui Spoor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. "They’re dem heart-stoppin seconds, when you know suttin' is straight-up wrong yo. Her lil voice was reachin up fo' one of mah thugs n' there’s no time fo' anythang except ta reach back tha fuck into dat beeper n' tell her you’re there," holla'd Jaqui. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Shazzle explained dat her dope ass didn’t know whoz ass tha intrudaz was n' while poppin' off ta Jaqui dat freaky freaky biatch had ta keep her voice down ta a whisper so they wouldn’t hear her n' shit. "Bitch was petrified needed ta be protected. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time fo' realz. At dat point, dat biiiiatch was like one of mah own lil pimps bustin up like a biatch up fo' help," rethugz Jaqui.

Jaqui assured Shazzle up in a cold-ass lil calm voice dat dat biiiiatch would stay on tha line wit her n' shit. "If they saw her n' went fo' her, I didn’t know if dat thugged-out biiiatch could straight-up run n' git away. I didn’t know if dat biiiiatch was goin ta be badly hurt or even capped," recalls Jaqui. When she axed if there was one intruder, Jaqui heard Shazzle say dat there was two. "Somethang was changin up in tha room, tha dawg was suddenly barkin a lot," holla'd Jaqui. Jaqui then holla'd at Shazzle ta ignore Courtney yo, but dat thugged-out biiiatch couldn’t answer as tha barkin made her freeze up in her tracks. "In mah mind, dat biiiiatch was frozen, n' dat biiiiatch was up in shock. I was straight-up hella worried," rethugz Jaqui.

When Jaqui axed Shazzle where tha intrudaz were, she, scared outta her mind, holla'd at her they was up in tha room wit her n' shit. Jaqui holla'd at her ta stay still n' not say anything. "I was shocked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! They was up in tha room wit her n' shit. I heard playas bein beaten on tha phone. I know what tha fuck dat soundz like n' what tha fuck it feels like inside, n' I didn’t need dis goin' down ta dat lil girl," holla'd Jaqui.

Royal Canuck Mounted Popo constable Mike Lavitizzle was among dem respondin ta tha call. "We’re within a cold-ass lil couple minutes. What if they find tha hoe hidin at dis point, biatch? Do our crazy asses gotz a hostage thang?" holla'd Mike. Jaqui was still poppin' off ta Shazzle on tha phone, n' axed her why dat dunkadelic hoe thought tha intrudaz saw her n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch assured her dat they didn’t know dat biiiiatch was on tha beeper n' dat her dope ass didn’t peep any weapons. "I’m straight-up torn, so check it before ya wreck it. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I need ta know what tha fuck our fools is up against when they reach tha scene. But tha problem wit askin thangs is, she’s goin ta answer dem n' possibly give her muthafuckin ass away," holla'd Jaqui.

Jaqui assured Shazzle dat tha five-o had arrived at her doggy den n' holla'd at her not ta move, so tha suspects wouldn’t peep her n' shit. "I observed one of tha culprits struttin towardz they vehicle. Dat shiznit was full of jacked property yo. Her associate was all up in tha door, n' as soon as da perved-out muthafucka saw our asses coming, da thug went hustlin back all up in tha house," rethugz Mike yo. Dude n' his thugged-out lil' partner ran afta tha two criminals n' proceeded ta handcuff dem wild-ass muthafuckas. "I saw tha same fellow tryin ta act nonchalant, as though dat schmoooove muthafucka had not a god damn thang ta do wit what tha fuck had just transpired," holla'd Mike. "What did I do, biatch? What did I do?" axed tha intruder n' shit. "You’re under arrest fo' breakin n' enterin n' theft!" holla'd Mike yo. His partner explained dat he knew tha biatch suspect, whoz ass had a hype fo' violent tendencies fo' some time, n' dat dat biiiiatch was known as "Battle Biatch" on tha streets.

Sharon’s father, Len Kerr, rushed home from work as soon as da thug was notified. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "When you peep all kindsa muthafuckin five-o rides n' RCMP fools, you would be thinkin tha worst son! Shazzle was comin down tha stairs, n' when her big-ass booty saw me, I ran ta her n' hugged her fo' a long-ass time," holla'd Len. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Ruth arrived soon afta n' shit. "Shazzle was white as a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass sheet, dat biiiiatch was straight-up shocked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Biatch just kept sayin ta me, 'Should I have answered tha door, Mom?,' n' I holla'd, 'No. Yo ass did tha right thang,'" holla'd Ruth.

Da two suspects subsequently pleaded guilty ta breaking, entering, n' lootin' n' was sentenced ta prison. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Two muthafuckin years had passed since tha incident. "I was straight-up trippin like a muthafucka. I didn’t know if I was gonna peep mah muthafathas again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Dat shiznit was straight-up dunkadelic dat they didn’t peep me, they was so close," holla'd Sharon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch gots tha chizzle ta hook up Jaqui n' give props ta her fo' bein there when she needed help. "Bitch was there fo' mah daughta when I couldn’t be there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. I gots a straight-up boner fo' you, Jaqui, you did a pimped out thang!" exclaimed Ruth.

Jaqui also gots ta say hi ta Courtney. "Bitch also helped save Sharon’s game," rethugz Jaqui. "I couldn’t git under tha bed cuz it’s a wata bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! So I just lay beside it n' hid tha phone," recalls Sharon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Jaqui explained dat Courtney camouflaged Sharon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "She’s a funky-ass barky, yappy dog. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So tha intrudaz focused on her n' they forgot dat there could be playas around," holla'd Jaqui. "Bitch be a straight-up trippin wreck. If anybody rattlez tha mailbox or rings tha doorbell, she just bout has a ass attack!" holla'd Len wit a smile.

Jaqui explains dat Shazzle did a ten n' dat she’d saved her game up in nuff ways, pickin up tha phone, callin 911, reachin up wit her voice, stopping, n' listenin ta her instructions. "Bitch did a straight-up dope thang!" holla'd Jaqui.

The plot for the Rescue 911 episode "Runaway Truck"
Truckers Weezy Waite n' Louis Gallant had been dopest playaz fo' years. On January 14, 1984, thier thang was tested ta tha limits up in tha mountains high above Nova Scotia, Canada.

Havin dropped tha night at a truck stop, Louis stepped outta his cabz chillin compartment tha next mornin n' spotted Weezyz rig. Louis raised up his dawg n' they had breakfast. When tha pimps discovered they was both headed up in tha same direction, they decided ta drive up in tandem so they could chat over they CB radios.

Dat shiznit was clear n' sunny as tha pimps headed outta tha truck stop at six up in tha morning. Weezy hustled tha way up in his wild lil' fuckin eighteen-wheel refrigeration truck, which was packed wit 23 tonz of frozen chicken n' you know I be eatin up dat shizzle all muthafuckin day, biatch. I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Louis followed up in his wild lil' flatbed semi dat was haulin 17 tonz of steel fo' realz. Although they both drove fo' tha same company, it would be tha last time tha playaz would be rollin together.

As Louis n' Weezy climbed tha steep mountain road, Louis holla'd at Weezy on tha CB dat da thug wanted ta pass. This was highly unusual, cuz Louis never was horny bout ta be up in tha lead. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! But fo' some odd reason, dis mornin da ruffneck didn't feel like following. Weezy signaled ta his ass when dat shiznit was safe, n' Louis acclerated n' passed.

Da truckers approached tha top of tha mountain n' decelerated, preparin fo' tha treacherous descent up in which would maneuver a shitload of curves n' 180-degree turns. They was rollin along at twenty-five milez per minute fo' less then a mile, when Weezy applied his brakes yo. Dude was stunned. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I gots no brakes, dawg," Weezy radioed Louis. "Yo ass is clownin," Louis responded. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I ain't kidding. I gots no brakes." Weezy pumped his brakes yo, but they still wouldn't work. "I be goin ta dynamite it," Weezy holla'd at Louis.

Weezy "dynamited" it--applied his wild lil' fuckin emergency brake--but it wasn't hustlin either n' shiznit yo. Dude was pickin up speed, n' da ruffneck didn't give a fuck what tha fuck ta do fo' realz. A truck as heavy as dis one couldn't possibly make it safely ta tha bottom of tha windy mountain road without any brakes.

"Run her up in tha back of mine," radioed Louis. "I be bout ta try ta git you stopped." Less than one mile away was a straightaway dat stretched fo' a half-mile. If Louis was goin ta stop Weezyz runaway truck, it would gotta be here, cuz comin up was a horseshoe curve dat Weezy would never be able ta maneuver without slowin down.

But before reachin tha straightaway, Weezy had ta steer all up in a seriez of S-curves without brakin fo' realz. As Weezyz truck rapidly gained speed, Louis was forced ta accelerate ta stay up in front. Da pimps barreled all up in tha curves, travelin close ta forty milez per minute instead of tha safe twenty-five. "I be goin too fast," Weezy radioed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I be goin ta gotta jump." "No," responded Louis. "You'll bust a cap up in yo ass."

Da truckers approached tha straightaway. Louis slowed ta let Weezy catch up ta his muthafuckin ass fo' realz. As both pimps braced theyselves, Weezy aimed fo' Louis' truck. Weezy rammed tha fuck into tha rear of Louis' semi, now goin bout sixty milez per hour, n' Louis slammed on his brakes. Da two trucks slid fo' half a mile, tires squealin n' rubber burning, then screeched ta a halt less than five hundred feet from tha horseshoe curve. Da pimps stepped outta they cabs, shaken, n' hugged each other.

Weezy suffered only all dem bruised ribs n' Louis escaped unharmed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I thought dat shiznit was all over," recalls Weezy. "I thought dis was mah last trip fo' realz. At dat mountain, if yo' brakes hold one vehicle, you thankful naaahhmean, biatch? But ta hold two--itz a miracle." "I knew I had one chizzle ta save him," say Louis. "I just wanted ta do it right. If dat schmoooove muthafucka had hit at a angle or lost control, it would have probably taken me like a muthafucka."

Louis n' Weezy, dopest playaz before tha incident, have become even closer n' shit. "Louis would do it fo' anybody," say Weezy. "Dat punk dat type of person. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude was a gangbangin' playa before dis yo, but he a special playa now, nahmeean?" Weezy still drives trucks fo' a living. But three muthafuckin years afta dat fateful day, Louis retired from trucking.

The plot for the Rescue 911 episode "Kidnapped Kids"
Shortly before noon on April 16, 1989 up in Tyler, Texas, seven-year-old Stacie Henderson n' her six-year-old playa, Josh Oliver, was struttin down tha road ta return a vizzle game ta a neighbor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. They was just all dem hundred yardz from Staciez doggy den when a unfamiliar playa pulled up beside dem up in his car, grabbed Stacie, n' pulled her in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Josh ran ta her doggy den n' holla'd at her olda sister, Dee, what tha fuck happened. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "It hit me straight-up hard dat Stacie had been kidnapped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Afta he gots his breath back tha pimpin' muthafucka holla'd at our asses dat dat shiznit was a white playa wit bushy dark afro n' dat da thug was rollin a big-ass brown sedan bigger than his crazy-ass mother's," holla'd Dee.

Immediately, Dee went ta look fo' Stacie, while they adoptizzle mother, Velma Henderson, went inside tha doggy den ta booty-call 911 yo. Her call was taken by dispatcher Tammy Macklin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Smizzle County Sheriffz Deputy Steve Dunklin responded yo, but da thug was fifteen minutes away.

Dee headed ta tha Ulshes' house, where Stacie had been headed, ta peep if dat biiiiatch was there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch wasn't, n' dat was when Dee realized dat shiznit was not a joke. Jack n' Lois Ulsh immediately gots up in they car, n' went ta tha Hendersons' house, where Lois relayed tha shiznit ta Macklin, n' called neighbors one-by-one, spittin some lyrics ta dem what tha fuck happened, while Jack went ta drive ta nearby houses ta gather up neighbors. Dunklin arrived n' axed Josh bout tha suspect, n' tha pimpin' muthafucka holla'd at his ass what tha fuck happened. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude holla'd dat dat shiznit was a white playa wit bushy brown afro n' a mustache, which dat schmoooove muthafucka hadn't shaved fo' all dem days yo. His handz n' fingernails was straight-up filthy wit dirt n' grease n' da thug was bustin a funky-ass blue hoodie n' blue pants, n' you can put dat on yo' toast.

Soon, as nuff as forty ta fifty rides was on tha road lookin fo' tha suspect vehicle. Deputizzles Bobbie McGee n' Albena Brewer also responded, settin up a stake-out at a funky-ass busy intersection, where they soon noticed a big-ass brown sedan matchin tha description of tha suspectz vehicle. Da suspect started a funky-ass bangin' pursuit wit Brewer n' McGee chasin his muthafuckin ass. Then his hoopty slid tha fuck into a gangbangin' finger-lickin' ditch. Brewer n' McGee yelled fo' his ass n' Stacie ta git outta tha car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. They gots his ass up n' arrested him, n' Stacie gots up like a muthafucka.

Dunklin heard on his bangin radio dat they found tha car, When they heard dat tha suspect was bein arrested, Dee n' Joshz mother, Lisa Oliver n' Dunklin drove ta tha location, spittin some lyrics ta each other dat every last muthafuckin thang was fine, even though they knew dat may not done been tha case. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Several other deputizzles also drove ta tha scene. Dunklin found Stacie up in Brewerz car, gave her a hug, n' they both cried. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Then he recognized tha suspect as his wild lil' forma neighbor yo. Dude has a thugged-out daughta Staciez age n' it effected his ass wackly bout tha suspect bein his wild lil' forma neighbor cuz da thug was thankin it could've been his fuckin lil' daughta dat was kidnapped by tha suspect instead of Stacie.

Da suspect, Lil' Bow Wow Lawrence, was discovered ta be armed wit a knife. Duct tape n' a cold-ass lil club was found up in his hoopty yo. Dude subsequently was convicted of aggrevated kidnapping, n' sentenced ta game on lockdown. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Stacie returned home ta her crew.

Nearly a year later, Staciez game moonwalked back ta normal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. "Bitch chills wit me all tha time," holla'd Velma. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Stacie didn't rap a shitload bout tha kidnappin cuz it still upset her muthafuckin ass.

The plot for the Rescue 911 episode "911 Market Robbery"
A lil afta midnight, on April 18, 1992, nightshift hommiez of tha Bel Air supermarket up in Roseville, California, was closin tha store n' balancin they chedda registas before goin home. Da automatic electronic doors had been turned off but had not yet been locked.

Employees Chad Graham n' Pat Maldonado holla'd phat night ta they coworkers as they was leavin tha store. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Secondz later, four maxed armed pimps forced they way all up in tha electronic doors n' ordered hommies ta lay facedown on tha floor.

Chad caught a glimpse of tha gunmen as da thug was exitin yo. Dude ran ta a pay beeper all up in tha front of tha store n' dialed 911. "Therez a holdup up in Bel Air on Sunrise n' Cirby dawwwwg! Quick!" tha pimpin' muthafucka holla'd all up in tha dispatcher n' shit. Dat shiznit was dispatcher Pamela Hardwickz first robber call up in four muthafuckin yearz of service. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch was straight-up trippin as her dope ass dispatched five-o ta tha scene, cuz she knew anythang could happen.

Inside, terrified hommies was neither movin nor obeyin tha gunmenz ordaz yo. Head clerk Ken Pickard gots down on tha floor n' yelled fo' his wild lil' fuckin hommies ta follow. While one of tha gunmen guarded tha hommies, tha other three ran ta tha hustla steez crib fo' realz. A gunman pounded on tha crib window wit his wild lil' freakadelic gun, demandin ta be let in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Employee Tracy Engleston, whoz ass had been hidin under a thugged-out desk, came up n' let tha pimps in.

Stephanie Soulier lay on tha floor n' heard Tracy scream as tha pimps rushed up in n' ordered her ta open tha two safes. "I was so scared when I heard Tracy scream," holla'd Stephanie. "Dat hoe like mah lil sista n' shit. Dat shiznit was as if some muthafucka up in mah crew was goin ta git hurt."

Meanwhile, Chad stayed on tha phone, uppimpin Hardwick as dopest his schmoooove ass could bout tha gunmenz movements yo. Dude was afraid dat tha driver up in tha getaway hoopty up in tha parkin lot would peep his muthafuckin ass. "I be up in front of tha store," Chad holla'd at Hardwick, "and I don't want dem ta peep mah dirty ass. Oh Dogg."

Within forty secondz of bein dispatched, five-o units arrived on tha scene wit they lights off. Chad gots off tha beeper wit Hardwick n' stood by as Watch Commander Rocky Rockholm instructed fools ta surround tha building. "I was scared ta dirtnap," holla'd Rockholm, whoz ass had been tha supervisor of tha night shift fo' only four nights, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. "I thought of all tha thangs dat could go wrong, I holla'd a lil prayer ta mah dirty ass."

Inside tha hustla steez office, gunmen took tha chedda from tha top safe n' demanded dat Tracy unlock tha bottom one. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch holla'd all up in tha gunmen dat only Ken Pickard had tha combination, so they ordered Ken tha fuck into tha crib ta open tha safe. Ken holla'd all up in tha pimps there was only coins inside yo, but tha robbers was determined. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Ken stalled wit tha combination yo, but he finally opened tha safe, which held stackz of rolled coins n' a lil chedda.

Angered by they lil' small-ass take, tha gunmen ordered Ken ta lay on tha floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. One of tha pimps cocked his wild lil' freakadelic gun, put it ta Kenz head, n' ordered his ass ta count ta ten. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Ken slowly counted up loud, waitin ta be shot. Instead, tha pimps fled.

Da suspects ran outta tha store directly tha fuck into tha path of two five-o fools, whoz ass shouted, "Popo biaaatch! Freeze!" Officers immediately apprehended two of tha gunmen yo, but two fled on foot fo' realz. A pursuin fool caught one of tha suspects up in a nearby field. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Chad saw tha fourth suspect hustlin away n' yelled ta five-o fo' realz. A five-o dawg was busted out n' tackled tha playa ta tha ground.

Rockholm credits phat five-o work ta tha fact dat no muthafucka was hurt n' tha suspects was captured. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Chad feels dirty dat his wild lil' fuckin exit was perfectly timed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Had he left a moment sooner, da thug wouldn't have peeped tha gunmen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Had it been a moment later, da thug would done been trapped wit tha other hommies up in tha store. Da four suspects pleaded guilty ta armed robbery; three of dem was adults sentenced ta jail, tha fourth was a juvenile sentenced ta a state youth facility.

Store hommies was shaken by tha robbery yo, but they moonwalked back ta work tha next night wit tighta security. Ken be aiiight da perved-out muthafucka survived ta peep tha birth of his fuckin lil' daughter, Kelsey, two months later n' shit. "When you look up in her eyes, it just tears yo' ass up dat you might have missed suttin' like that," holla'd Ken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "I be aiiight dat I be kickin it ta peep mah lil girl."

Various Bunkest crap
Da first traila fo' tha show was busted out at San Diego Comic Con 2017, n' was kicked it wit wit mixed erections; muthafuckas praised Holly Gauthier-Frankelz performizzle as Sagwa, tha LGBT themes up in tha episodes, Tomothy Kennyz appearances as Patchy tha Pirate, n' tha theme cold lil' woo wop by Jón Jósep Snæbjörnsson; however, tha over-saturation of Robbie Rotten, CC00 n' Timebomb192potato was kicked it wit wit dissatisfaction. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Peepin tha trailerz premiere, a writas panel was held, wit writas Pizzle Tibbit, Timebomb192potato, Ace Lad, CC00, Máni Svavarsson, Amy Tan, Ólafur S.K. Þonvaldz, n' Peta K yo. Hirsch appearin ta answer crowd thangs; however, Pizzle Tibbit only responded "SAGWA, DONGWA FELL!" up in Jizzy Vinetz voice throughout, n' fainted 15 minutes in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. Ace Lad shielded themself up in a gangbangin' fursuit of they fursona, n' reportedly prayed ta Daddy Pig silently. Detractorz of tha showz contents was forced up by Patchy tha Pirate, whoz ass holla'd at dem ta "WALK THE PLANK!".

Holly Gauthier-Frankel took time off from recordin dialogue fo' Fern up in Arthur, ta git on over ta Sagwa hustlas all up in tha Random-nizz Wiki headquartas up in Spanish Harlem, New York Citizzle up in celebration of tha appearizzle of tha Sagwa tha Chinese Siamese Cat charactas up in tha show. Fans welcomed her wit Sagwa plushies, open arms, n' Chinese chicken n' you know I be eatin up dat shizzle all muthafuckin day, biatch. I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Holly handed dem playas whoz ass attended personalized greetin cards, sprayed wit Sagwaz Stir Fry cologne, a freshly smoked up fragrance, up in conjunction wit tha Chinese company Rang Ni Si Budget Fragrizzle Manufacturers Co, Ltd.

As guerilla marketin fo' tha show, Jón Jósep Snæbjörnsson crashed a #MeToo rally up in Atlantic Citizzle dressed up in a salmon suit n' performed tha showz theme song, "Ludd Theme fron tha Bunkest". In addition, Denise Oliver reprised her role as Maurecia at Holy Spirit High School up in nearby Absecon yo, but was caught at it fo' tryin ta seduce tha altar thugs. CC00 n' Timebomb paid her bail n' then confirmed TVSeries!Maurecia ta be Filipino.

To help advertise tha show, tha Random-nizz Wiki attached a exclusive traila fo' tha show ta tha film Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. This decision received backlash from crew thugz cuz of tha difference up in ratin n' tone between Rogue One n' Da Bunkest; as stated by tha Cinema Snob, "I came here ta peep a Star Wars porno, n' I saw a traila fo' a gangbangin' freakin RNW show featurin charactas from LazyHood."

As part of tha promotion fo' tha show, Jón Jósep Snæbjörnsson, tha thug of tha showz theme song, collaborated wit Gangsta vaporwave duo Whitewoodz ta create a cold lil' woo wop fo' tha show named "Da Bunker of Bunkers". Well shiiiit, it topped tha charts up in nuff muthafuckin ghettos fo' 5 weeks yo, but was banned up in Denmark cuz of itz bitch ass portrayal of tha Sandmännchen, aka Jizzle Blund.

To help promote tha show, tha RNW playas arranged fo' tha second comin of Jizzy ta occur on January 23, 2018. Muthafuckas round tha ghetto was infuriated when Da Foolish Magistrate n' Patchy tha Pirate descended from tha heavens instead. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Theorists lata suggested dat like our phat asses did git what tha fuck was advertised; "Perhaps Da Foolish Magistrate is Dogg n' Patchy is Jizzy fo' realz. And maybe dis say suttin' bout our expectations; as a race, our phat asses don't give a fuck what tha fuck we want."

Bunkest reviews
"9.3609/10 Best show up in tha franchise," - IGN

"This show sucks" - MrEnter

"RNW do it again!" - New York Times

"Two thumbs up," - some muthafucka movin Roger Ebertz corpse

"This is mah characta Sagwaz top billin involvement up in a dunkadelic TV series!" - Amy Tan

"Well, RNW, yo ass is odd fellows yo, but I must say... Yo ass Bunker a phat bunker." - Superintendant

"Those wacky Bunker lil playas is at it again n' again n' again up in dis incredible freshly smoked up series thatz loadz of funk n' has a shitload of ass. I would recommend it ta mah playas whoz ass likes anything." - Deseret News

"AW HELL NO!" - That black muthafucka from dat meme

"Yo, has mah playas peeped mah keys?" - Tornadospeed

"Wooowww..." - Wubbzy

"They've straight-up cut tha budget fo' RNW projects!" - Robbie Rotten

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... Egg." - Captioned Seal

"fak adventure time" - Moon Snail

"It aint nuthin but a rootin' tootin' phat show!" - Ladonna Compson

"THIS IS BEST FIGHTING SHOW FOR ALL AGE." - Kung Tai Ted

"Wicked." - Creepie Creecher

"TIME TO START THE SHOW!" - Robbie Rotten

"I be a funky-ass big-ass fuck wit a funky-ass big-ass truck. Yo, wuz crackalackin', biatch? Yo ass is smokin tha shitshow." - I forgot whoz ass holla'd dis but vibe

"WATCH DIS SHOW, N' JOIN THA CRAZE WIT ME, BIZZLEY MAYS!" - Bizzley Mays' pimp

"(aggressively sippin Capri-Sun) Yeah. This is good." - PixelMiette

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS IS!" - Red Action

"Here we go!" - Icelandic Gangsta

"(kicks down a funky-ass block tower) Eugh!" - Fink

"(mumblin tha lyrics of "Now, We" by Lovelyz while starin at a iPizzy wit a still image of Satan on it)" - PixelMiette

"MMMMMMMMMM-MMMMMMMM! CREAMY!" - Robbie Rotten

"Dat punk gettin tha dongwa, aiiiight." - Some commenta on e621

"This show is tha funniest up in tha Bunker franchise." - Telegram &amp; Gazette

"I laughed n' laughed!" - Diesel

"Great show." - Da Boston Globe

"Though tha straight-up original gangsta three series felt like a TV series version of Cartoon All-Stars ta tha Rescue, dis one feels like a original gangsta concept." - Wall Street Journal

"Really, biatch? Obscure material, biatch? In a RNW project, biatch? Can Sesame Workshop just show Sagwa some mo' ludd already!?" - Da Public

"It tastes like fufu!" -Fink

"who let dis happen" - Ace upon seein tha Reviews section

"I have no idea" - Pixel replyin ta Ace

"This whole section is so fuckin funky y'all" - Tornadospeed

"Honestly it kinda is" - Pixel

"I be bout ta give it some credit" - Ace, just bein a lite stubborn

"'Yo ass miss 100% of tha shots you don't take.' - Weezy Gretzky" - Mike Scott

"oooh its chronic time hehehe" - @Veggiefacts

"Rippin off mah skin don't mind me" - @Veggiefacts

"This Bunker show is tha dopest one yet up in tha franchise." - Cape Cod Times

"h" -me

"Yo ass want fuckin beetroot?" - @Veggiefacts

"It hurts just ta wake up." - Adam Young

"This here show is me finest work yet!" - Patchy tha Pirate

"Braaawk, whoz ass cares!" - Potty tha Parrot

"That show was swimmin'!" - Tubb

"This show is betta than dat dumb oldschool square!" - Da Professor

"This TV show is mine!" - Stingy

Bunkest plot
Afta exhaustin every last muthafuckin reboot cliche known ta dude, tha denizenz of tha original gangsta Bunker decizzle itz time ta finally bounce back ta tha doggy den. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. They return ta Bunker Desert, USA yo, but since tha original gangsta Bunker was still on dat deserted island, they say "to heck wit it" n' build a even bunker bunker n' shiznit fo' realz. A Bunkest. Da playas up in tha Bunkest discover there may be mo' ta they bunker bunker than they eva could've imagined, n' decizzle ta go bout on whatever hood-driven stories they feel like.

Bunkest production
Well, one time CC00 came back ta Random-nizz Wiki, n' decided ta rap ta tha rest of her ol' playaz sayin "We should cook up a Bunker revival called Da Bunkest" n' I be thinkin we was all like "yeah" so there we go! Bunkest time biaaatch! Biatch also opened up tha scam of a Bunker prequel called "Da Bunk," but there wasn't much mo' bout dat yet until 9 minutes lata when dat shiznit was officially revealed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! BJ revealed dat once Da Bunk was finished, Da Bunkest will continue its rap n' hopefully answer unanswered thangs tha show left.

This season features a mo' expanded cast of fictionizzle characters. Da Sagwa charactas was added by Timebomb, n' tha OK K.O.! Letz Be Heroes charactas was added by Pixel.

Da show combines live-action, traditionizzle animation, n' CGI animation. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da series is mainly produced at Wainscott Studios all up in tha Eastside Hampton Airport industrial complex up in Wainscott, New York, United Hoods. Da series is filmed up in Stage One, wit 4,000 sq. ft. n' 56 ft. ceilings, n' Stage Two, wit 1,200 sq. ft. n' 25 ft. ceilings. Da combined thang floor area is 5,200 sq. ft. Da budget fo' each episode is US$5 million, makin it "one of da most thugged-out high-rollin' childrenz shows up in tha ghetto" accordin ta Timebomb. Da Bunkestz interior is pimped rockin a cold-ass lil combination of CGI, chronic screening, miniature effects, motion capture, parametric animation, n' practical effects.

Da live-action is filmed rockin WEAPON 6K/8K n' RED RAVEN 4.5K cameras, from Red Digital Cinema Camera Companyz DSMC2 line of cameras. Da vizzle is simultaneously recorded up in tha REDCODE® RAW n' Avid DNxHR/HD file formats.

Bunkest songs
They is here: Da Bunkest/Songs

Sometimes, tha charactas up in tha show just break up tha fuck into song. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Spontaneous musical number be a pimpin' big-ass thang up in tha fictionizzle ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be bout ta let Ace n' BJ expand on dis section. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. They're far mo' musically oriented than I am.

All I be hopin is dat tha BGM is some sick jazz dat I can dig on tha mornin commute.

Accordin ta Ace, tha show gonna git "some sick jams" n' thatz all mah playas knows n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do.

Mark Mothersbaugh was axed ta do tha noize yo, but declined, statin dat "this project be absolute garbage". Instead, Christopher Williz of Mickey Mouse n' Da Lion Guard hype was brought up in ta compose tha musical score fo' tha series. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Similarly ta tha forma aforementioned series, each episode includes is set ta have its own live musical score instead of premade musical tracks locked n loaded fo' use. Da regular musical crew includes a thirty-piece orchestra, a funky-ass big-ass jazz crew dat specializes wit a wide variety of sub-genrez of jazz, n' a noize crew dat specializes wit electronic-type instruments fo' realz. All dem tha background noize is ghon be inspired by contemporary orchestral film beatz, a shitload of major formz of jazz, n' lounge beatz, specifically noize inspired by Esquivel!. Da noize crew also includes nuff muthafuckin smalla crews dat specialize up in other specific musical genres when needed up in context.

All of tha joints is ghon be freestyled by a crew of beatmakers instead of just one or two, similarly ta Phineas n' Ferb. Da joints theyselves is ghon be intended ta pull a healthy influence from both Broadway-style musicals n' contemporary noize artists, wit a big-ass dose of tha joints combinin elementz of both Broadway n' contemporary music.

Also, It aint nuthin but Gonna Be Fine is sung yo, but its a cold-ass lil condensed version.

The plot of the Dragon Ball Z episode "Transformed at Last"
As Gohan n' Krillin is wonderin if they is tha only ones whoz ass survived tha Spirit Bomb, Piccolo suddenly emerges from tha wata n' climbs onto a nearby island wit Goku. Gohan n' Krillin fly over ta they allies n' they is reunited.

On Mack Kaiz hood, Mack Kai relays tha shizzle ta Yamcha, Tien Shinhan n' Chiaotzu. Recoome, Guldo, Burter n' Jeice is skeptical yo, but tha Z Fighters continue tha battle against dem n' ultimately force dem off tha hood n' tha fuck into Hell. Enraged, they try ta escape yo, but only succeed up in bumpin they headz on tha cloudz above. Mackdaddy Kai then inadvertently reveals dat he invited tha Ginyu Force ta his thugged-out lil' hood ta give tha Z Fightas a test.

On Namek, Goku, Piccolo, Krillin n' Gohan prepare ta leave ta find Bulma n' go back ta Earth. Piccolo openly hopes dat Guru n' tha rest of tha Namekians can now rest up in peace fo' realz. As Krillin asks how tha fuck Piccolo knows bout Guru, he freezes upon lookin at a nearby cliff. Da other fightas look n' is also shocked: Frieza is still kickin it, only wit a thugged-out damaged tail n' eye, n' angrier than eva n' shit. Krillin is up in disbelief, as da thug was certain dat a gangbangin' finger-lickin' direct hit from tha Spirit Bomb would have capped his muthafuckin ass.

Frieza fires a Death Beam at Goku yo, but Piccolo pushes his ass aside n' takes tha hit. With dis act, Piccoloz legit loyalty is finally revealed: havin sacrificed his dirty ass fo' Goku, he no longer considaz his ass his wild lil' fuckin enemy. Meanwhile, on Mackdaddy Kaiz hood, Mackdaddy Kai is equally shocked ta learn of Friezaz game n' barely manages ta inform Yamcha, Tien n' Chiaotzu of dis shitty turn of events, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Back on Namek, Frieza mockingly congratulates Goku fo' comin tha closest mah playas has ta beatin tha livin shiznit outta his ass wit his Spirit Bomb. Borderin on tha edge of his bangin rage, Goku ordaz Gohan n' Krillin ta take Piccolo, find Bulma n' leave Namek up in her spaceship immediately. In a act of retaliation fo' comin back n' slicin his tail, Frieza launches Krillin tha fuck into tha air and, despite Gokuz pleas ta stop, detonates tha juice inside Krillin, blowin his ass ta smithereens. Mackdaddy Kai reels back upon witnessin it, n' solemnly drops some lyrics ta tha others dat Krillin is now dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Back on Namek, Frieza pushes tha final button by threatenin Gohan next.

Angered by tha dirtnap of Krillin, whoz ass now cannot be revived wit tha Dragon Balls, Gokuz rage erupts n' he undergoes a strange transformation; resultin up in a golden aura, blonde afro n' bluish-chronic eyes. Goku asks Gohan once again n' again n' again ta take Piccolo n' leave Namek wit Bulma, n' dis time, Gohan complies.

Goku then sets his wild lil' furious eyes on a astonished Frieza, determined ta make his ass pay fo' his thugged-out actions. Frieza tremblez wit fear.

Meanwhile, Ginyu tha Frog returns ta Bulmaz location n' tries ta tell her of whatz happening. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch then notices a gangbangin' finger-lickin' distant island where a big-ass aura is emitting: tha same island where Gokuz transformation just occurred.

The plot of the Sagwa episode "The Name Game"
Scene opens wit Dongwa n' Lick-Lick havin a Kung-fu match-up. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sheegwa n' Sagwa is there, rootin fo' Dongwa. Da alley pussies is rootin fo' Lick-Lick. Da match ends. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sagwa n' tha alleycats argues over whoz mo' betta n' shit. Turns up dat Lick-Lick was only a nickname, n' his bangin real name is Chan Li, which means "Family Strength". Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sheegwa brangs up tha topic dat they names have hidden meanin fo' realz. And so, tha alley pussies brought up tha meanin of Dongwaz name: "Winta Melon" fo' realz. And they tease Sheegwa dat her name means "Watermelon". But Sheegwa standz tall. But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat tha main blow was pimped up ta Sagwa, whose name means "Silly Melon Head". Bein ridiculed, tha trio headz back ta tha palace, turned off by tha incident n' vowin never ta go back ta tha alley. Back all up in tha palace, Fu-fu joins up in tha conversation. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. They say dat he dirty ta git a pimped out name. But he runs tha fuck into a cold-ass lil corner, n' be thinkin dat it means "clumsy bat" instead. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Sagwa say dat Momma gives her a strange look when she axed her why dat freaky freaky biatch had such a name. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So, they decizzle ta ask Nai-nai, whoz ass drops some lyrics ta dem why. When they daddy was young, da thug was always playin wit Chet-Chet n' Lick-Lickz daddy n' shit. But da thug started doin thangs up in tha palace, n' sees tha palace as his thugged-out lil' playground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! One day, he meets Mama Miao while playin up in tha magistratez winta melon patch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch turns up ta be tha freshly smoked up gardenerz kitten. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude then accidentally breaks a melon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch then headz off yo. Dude couldn't find her n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So, his schmoooove ass calls up "Melon Cat", up in hopez of her responding. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Soon, he findz her n' shiznit fo' realz. And they soon becomes inseparable (okay, we all know where tha storyz goin - ed) yo. Dude was so love-sick dat one day, he painted a picture of her on a one of tha watermelons up in a melon pile. Chet-Chet n' Lick-Lickz daddy dropped by, n' sees tha painting. They then tease his muthafuckin ass. Mama Miao challenges tha alley-cats, n' they started climbin up tha melon-pile. Naturally, tha pile collapses, n' watermelons started rollin down tha street, two wit a pair of pussies on each. They race they watermelons, n' won when tha alleycats' melon ran tha fuck into a pole. But they victory was short-lived, 'cause theirs soon ran tha fuck into a wall (Ouch! - ed) fo' realz. And so, Dongwa was named cuz Baba Miao first kicked it wit Mama Miao up in tha Magistratez winta melon patch, Sheegwa was named cuz they had so much funk on tha pile of watermelons, n' Sagwa was named cuz they wanted ta remember dat they loved each other n' shiznit fo' realz. And so, Sagwa, Sheegwa, n' Dongwa head up ta grill tha Alley cats, n' soon learn dat if they couldn't give a fuckin shiznit bout tha teasing, tha teasin will stop. Da rap comes ta a cold-ass lil close as Sagwa, Sheegwa, n' Dongwa head back ta tha palace.

The plot for Rubbadubbers’ “Amelia the Babysitter”
Da episode starts wit Reg up in tha hallway, statin dat tha lil pimps is gone. Then it cuts ta Terence askin if any of tha Rubbadubbers’ bedz is fo' his ass yo, but Sploshy drops some lyrics ta his ass dat Benjie n' Sis have gone ta hook up tha babysitter n' shit. Finbar suggests dat Terence should have his bed, cuz tha forma did not wanna be peeped up in a funky-ass baby’s bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Winona n' Sploshy be thinkin dat lyin on tha bedz feels like floatin on clouds, n' dat they should play babies all dizzle long, which Tubb agrees ta fo' realz. Amelia flies low over everyone’s headz n' then dives tha fuck into tha water, thus gettin tha Rubbadubbers splashed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Everyone wants Amelia ta quit flyin until they have finished playin babies yo, but Amelia do not want to. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch wishes dat dat biiiiatch was up in charge, n' transports her muthafuckin ass ta tha cloud ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Amelia flies over ta Sploshy, whoz ass is bored, n' is trippin bout Sploshy callin her "babysitter", until she realises dat her ass is up in charge. When Sploshy drops some lyrics ta Amelia dat her ass is bored, her big-ass booty suggests dat she read her book yo, but Sploshy cannot reach tha book, so Amelia has ta git it fo' her, when she overhears Terence bustin up fo' realz. Amelia flies over ta Terence, whoz ass informs dat his cloud is full of rain. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. While dat dunkadelic hoe tries ta help him, Finbar n' Winona fight over they cloud. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! As Amelia tries ta break up tha fight, Tubb bitches bout his head bein stuck up in a cold-ass lil cloud. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! While Amelia tries ta push tha cloud off his head, it is revealed dat Sploshy is hangin from tha book’s cloud, bout ta fall fo' realz. Afta this, tha babies shout simultaneously, much ta Amelia’s dismay fo' realz. Afta on tha fuckin' down-lowin tha babies down, Amelia sings It’s Never, Ever, Easy yo, but is interrupted by Sploshy falling. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sploshy is then saved by Amelia, n' afterwards, tha latta deals wit tha other babies’ problems fo' realz. Amelia is exhausted afta carin fo' tha babies, n' reverses her wish when they demand her ta tell dem what tha fuck ta do. Tubb then tries ta convince Amelia ta fly. When Benjie n' Sis arrive fo' they bath, Amelia lays up in one of tha bedz n' falls asleep.

The transcript

 * Reg is up in tha hallway)
 * Reg: All clear. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Da lil pimps have gone.
 * (cut to: tha Rubbadubbers bein babies)
 * Terence: Ooh, comfy bedz muthafucka! Is there one fo' me son?
 * Tubb: Well, Benjie n' Sis would have made you one, Terence.
 * Sploshy: But they've gone ta hook up tha babysitter.
 * Finbar: Have mah bed hommie! Da mighty Finbar, terror of tha deep...in a funky-ass babyz bed, biatch? Arr, arr, arr playa! What if another shark saw me son?
 * Winona: Eek, eek!
 * Sploshy: Yo ass is right, Winona. Lyin on these bedz feels like floatin on clouds. Letz play babies all dizzle long.
 * Tubb: Swimmin' idea, Sploshy!
 * (Amelia flies over them)
 * Amelia: Eeeoowww!
 * Terence: Oh help!
 * Amelia: Look up below! Comin through! Eeeooowww!
 * Tubb: Amelia, peep out!
 * Amelia: I am!
 * Terence: I be goin ta git wet son! I just know dat shiznit son!
 * Amelia: Whoops!
 * Terence: Oh no!
 * (Amelia falls tha fuck into tha bath n' splashes dem wild-ass muthafuckas.)
 * Tubb: Ugh, yuck!
 * Finbar: Dope thang you was watchin up fo' realz. Arr, arr. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Not!
 * Amelia: Sorry.
 * Winona: Eek, eek.
 * Sploshy: Do you gotta fly now?
 * Amelia: Yes fo' realz. Afraid so.
 * Terence: Can't you wait until we've finished playin babies?
 * Amelia: No.
 * Tubb: Yo ass must. Us thugs want you to.
 * Finbar: I don't.
 * Amelia: Thatz not fair. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Why do you git ta chizzle, biatch? If only I was up in charge, then I'd git ta tell mah playas what tha fuck ta do.
 * (Thought bubble transizzle ta tha cloud ghetto)
 * Sploshy (offscreen): Babysitter, Baby Sploshy is boooored hommie! Babysitter, tell me what tha fuck ta do!
 * (Amelia flies ta Sploshy.)
 * Amelia: Babysitter?! Is you poppin' off ta me son, biatch? Me, biatch? Of course biaaatch! I holla'd "if only", so now I be straight-up up in charge.
 * Sploshy: Baby Sploshy is boooored hommie! Yo ass gotta tell me what tha fuck ta do.
 * Amelia: Oh, why don't you err... read yo' book?
 * (Sploshy tries ta jump up ta another cloud ta reach her book yo, but dat thugged-out biiiatch cannot reach dat shit.)
 * Sploshy: But I can't reach dat shit.
 * (Sploshy continues ta jump up in attempt ta reach her book.)
 * Amelia: Careful, you gonna fall! I be bout ta git it fo' you, biatch.
 * (Amelia flies ta Sploshyz book when dat freaky freaky biatch hears Terence crying.)
 * Terence: Yuck! Babysitter, Baby Terence be all wet son! Babysitter, tell me what tha fuck ta do!
 * Amelia: Sorry, Sploshy, I be bout ta gotta help Baby Terence. I be bout ta be right back.
 * (Amelia flies ta Terencez cloud.)
 * Terence: Uh, babysitter, mah cloudz full of rain!
 * Amelia: Oh, um, is dat bad?
 * Terence: Of course itz bad; I be all wet son! I don't give a fuck bout bein wet son! Oh, oh, tell me what tha fuck ta do.
 * Amelia: Uh... oh--
 * Sploshy: I want mah book, babysitter!
 * Amelia: Coming, Baby Sploshy dawwwwg! (to Terence) Keep hopping. I’ll be right back.
 * (Amelia tries ta fly on over ta Sploshy’s cloud. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Meanhwhile, Finbar n' Winona is fightin over they cloud.)
 * Finbar: Arr playa! This is tha mighty Baby Finbar’s cloud hommie! Arr, arr, arr playa! Go away, Baby Winona.
 * (Amelia turns ta Finbar n' Winona.)
 * Amelia: Oh, now what?
 * Winona: Eeee, eeeee!
 * Finbar: I holla'd, arrr, arrr, arrr, go away!
 * (Winona goes inside they cloud.)
 * Finbar: Babysitter, baby Winona is up in mah cloud hommie! Tell her ta git her own cloud!
 * (Winona pops back up.)
 * Amelia: Can’t you share it?
 * Finbar: Fuck dat shit, no, no! I was here first!
 * (Winona goes in, then goes outta tha cloud.)
 * Finbar: It’s mah arr, arr, cloud
 * Winona: Eek eek!
 * Amelia: Don’t push, you’ll fall!
 * Tubb: (offscreen) Help, help!
 * (Tubb has his head stuck up in a cold-ass lil cloud.)
 * Tubb: Hello, biatch? I can’t peep a thang!
 * Amelia: Oh, no! Not another one!
 * Tubb: (spitting) Blech!
 * (Amelia flies ta Tubb’s cloud.)
 * Tubb: Baby Tubb is stuck, babysitter n' shit. Tell me what tha fuck ta do!
 * (Finbar n' Winona continue fighting.)
 * Finbar: Yo, you, arr, arr, arr, git off of mah cloud.
 * Amelia: Oh, stop, wait!
 * (Amelia flies back ta Finbar n' Winona’s cloud. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! They is hangin from they cloud.)
 * Tubb: Help me, babysitter playa! Yuck, pooh!
 * Amelia: Oh, no! Look, you two hang on until you git back.
 * Tubb: Help, help!
 * Amelia: Don’t worry, just keep still.
 * (Amelia pushes onto Tubb’s head, attemptin ta git tha cloud off.)
 * Tubb: But babysitter- agh, ow! You’re pushin mah head off.
 * (Amelia stops pushin Tubb’s head.)
 * Sploshy: Help! I’m falling! I’m falling!
 * (Sploshy is hangin from her book’s cloud.)
 * Amelia: Baby Sploshy!
 * Sploshy: Yo ass didn’t come back, so I tried ta git mah book, and…
 * Amelia: Hang on, I’ll be right there!
 * Terence: Ahem, I can’t keep hopping! Tell me what tha fuck ta do!
 * Amelia: Oh, baby Terence.
 * Finbar: It’s mah cloud, arr, arr, arr!
 * Winona: Eek, eek, eek!
 * (Everyone all shouts simultaneously.)
 * Amelia: Oh, no! Why did I gotta be up in charge?
 * Tubb: Help! Pooh!
 * Sploshy: I’m falling!
 * Terence: Baby Terence be all wet!
 * Sploshy: Help! I’m falling!
 * Finbar: It’s not fair playa! Arr-arr-arr!
 * Terence: I’m all wet son! Tell me what tha fuck ta do!
 * Amelia: All right, I’ll rap  what tha fuck ta do! Be on tha fuckin' down-low!
 * (Da babies all on tha down-low down.)
 * Amelia: Right. Now, maybe I can think.
 * Terence: Oh.
 * (A cold lil' woo wop begins playin up in tha background.)
 * Amelia: It’s never, ever, easy as fuck  spittin some lyrics ta playas what tha fuck ta do. It’s never, ever, easy as fuck  when tha one up in charge is you, biatch.
 * (Cut to: Da babies’ problems.)
 * Finbar: Arr, arr, arr!
 * Tubb: Help, help!
 * Winona: Eee-eee-eee-eee-eee!
 * Amelia: Why can’t it just be simple, biatch? Why can’t they work it out, biatch? I can’t do every last muthafuckin thang at once, while they just play about.
 * (Cut ta tha babies’ problems.)
 * Finbar: Arr-arr-arr!
 * Tubb: Help!
 * Terence: Terence be all wet!
 * Sploshy: Help!
 * Tubb: Help, help!
 * Amelia: It’s never eva easy as fuck  when tha one up in charge is you, biatch. But I can work dis whole thang out, now I know what tha fuck to…
 * (Sploshy falls off of tha cloud.)
 * Sploshy: Help!
 * Amelia: Oh, no! Baby Sploshy!
 * (Amelia flies ta her rescue, catches her, n' returns ta her cloud.)
 * Amelia: Yes muthafucka! Now stay here n' don’t move biaaatch! I’ll help tha others.
 * (Amelia flies over ta Tubb’s cloud.)
 * Amelia: I’ve gots dat shiznit son! Hold still!
 * (Amelia blows tha cloud off of Tubb’s head.)
 * Tubb: Ah, phew.
 * (Amelia turns her propella ta Terence n' his cloud n' dries his ass up.)
 * Terence: Ahh, oh, much better.
 * (Amelia flies ta Finbar n' Winona’s cloud.)
 * Finbar: And just remember, arr, arr, arr, dis is mah cloud.
 * (Amelia blows her propella n' separates Finbar n' Winona.)
 * Finbar: Arr-arr-arr arr-arr-arr.
 * Sploshy: I’m safe.
 * Terence: I’m dry.
 * Tubb: I’m free.
 * Finbar: I’m ridin' solo.
 * Winona: Eee-eee.
 * Amelia: I’m pooped.
 * Tubb: Nuff props, babysitter n' shit. That was swimmin’!
 * Sploshy: Yes yo, but I’m still bored. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! What is we goin ta do now?
 * Amelia: Now?
 * Babies: Babysitter playa! Babysitter playa! Tell our asses what tha fuck ta do! Tell our asses what tha fuck ta do!
 * Amelia: Oh, if only I wasn’t up in charge!
 * (Thought bubble transizzle back ta tha bathroom.)
 * Amelia: Phew! Maybe now I can git some rest!
 * Finbar: That’s dat shiznit son! Da mighty Finbar has had enough! Arr-arr-arr playa! I’m finished playin babies.
 * (Amelia yawns.)
 * Tubb: Amelia, you can practice yo' flyin now, nahmeean?
 * Terence: I’m not finished bein a funky-ass baby.
 * Finbar: Go fo' it, Amelia.
 * Amelia: But I would rather lie down up in a sick, soft, bed.
 * Finbar: Mighty me biaaatch! Arrr, you can’t be straight-up n shit.
 * Sploshy: Of course she isn’t, Finbar. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. She’s just teasing. Come on, Amelia, you ludd flying!
 * Tubb: Yeah, it’s yo' turn ta be up in charge. Go on.
 * Amelia: But yo, but…
 * Reg: Rubbadubbers muthafucka! Rubbadubbers muthafucka! Da lil pimps is co-co-co-almost here biaaatch! Bath time scramble!
 * Finbar: Da mighty shark is saved by bath time fo' realz. Arr, arr, arr playa! Throw our asses a funky-ass bubble, Terence!
 * Tubb: Swimmin’! It’s bath time!
 * Amelia: Oh, good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! It’s Baby Amelia time.
 * (Amelia falls asleep.)

The English translated lyrics to Cha-La Head-Cha-La
Breakin all up in tha shinin clouds, I fly away (fly away), Da panorama spreadz all up in mah body. Kicked up in tha face, tha Ghetto gets mad salty (angry), Makin a volcano explode.

If, within meltin polar icecaps, If there be a a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dinosaur, I wanna train it ta balizzle on a funky-ass ball.

Cha-La Head-Cha-La No matta what tha fuck happens, I won't be bothered one bit Cha-La Head-Cha-La As long as mah ass beats loud, Da Genki-dama roars... Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sparking!

Yo, swoopin all up in tha sky up in a Jet Coasta (Coaster), I fall up in tha paradise of panic. Da scenery turns upside-down n' I be pleasant (pleasant), Even tha mountains be lookin like rear-ends.

Therez no time ta worry, Cause there be a a "Surprise!" somewhere, n' I wanna find dat shiznit son!

Cha-La Head-Cha-La I'd rather empty mah head n' shiznit it wit dreams. Cha-La Head-Cha-La With a smile thatz Ultra-Z, Even todizzle goes Aye-yi-yi-yi-yi

Cha-La Head-Cha-La No matta what tha fuck happens, I won't be bothered one bit. Cha-La Head-Cha-La As long as mah ass beats loud, Da Genki-dama roars... Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sparking!

One of my fanon Sagwa episode scripts
(Title n' episode thang credits appears. Da episode opens on Da Reader of tha Rulez wit his crazy-ass mothers Shuihua n' Huohua up in tha palace guestroom)

Shuihua: Oh our See-Yeh Shi-Yi has grown up!

Huohua: When I kicked it wit Shuihua, I'd never expect ta peep her dope son!

Da Reader of tha Rules: Thanks mama n' step-mama. Yo ass is tha dopest muthafathas I've eva had.

(Transizzle wipe ta Sagwa, Dongwa, n' Sheegwa up in tha alleyway wit tha Alley Cats)

Dongwa: I know Wong Ton, you two kindz of animal! Yo ass is part doggy, n' part kitty!

Wong Ton: Yeah, I know inkface. I gots mah 'tufts, 'paws, n' tail from mah dad, n' tha rest of mah body is from mah momma.

Ling: My fuckin momma be a gangbangin' full-blooded, ink-faced Siamese n' mah daddy be a Dragon Li cat.

Sagwa: My fuckin grandma Nai-Nai has you muthafuckas beat yo. Her mama was a Chartreux whoz ass started doin thangs up in Paris, Frizzle n' her baba was a Siamese owned by immigrants from Thailand.

Lik-Lik: That explains why her sista looks mo' like a Chartreux dat gots clawed by a radioactizzle Siamese cat!

Sheegwa: Ludd be all around, as they say!

Bo: My fuckin babas is such a pimped out couple!

Hun-Hun: Me n' mah muthafathas' ballaz is strange. Da playa of tha doggy den be a Serbian immigrant while tha biatch be a local from here.

(Nai-Nai strutts up)

Nai-Nai: Ahem. I heard you kittens rantin bout mah parenthood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! My fuckin French momma was straight-up on tha down-low while mah Thai daddy was louder than her n' shiznit fo' realz. And mah son, Sagwaz baba, is different from me genetically yo. Dude looks mo' like his baba when da thug was younger, or mah baba when da thug was younger n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So is mah sister, whoz ass has mah eyes, personality, n' sense of livin but tha rest of her be a Chartreux.

Sha-Guniang: (from offscreen) Pssst... Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sheegwa!

Nai-Nai: Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is that?

(pan over ta Sha-Guniang)

Sheegwa: (from offscreen) Dat hoe Sha-Guniang, mah playa yo, but it ain't no stoppin cause I be still poppin'. Dat hoe such a pimpin' kitty.

(pan back ta Sheegwa. Bo strutts up)

Bo: Yo ass have another playa?

Sheegwa: Yes, mah wack-ass playa yo, but it ain't no stoppin cause I be still poppin'. In fact... *whisphers tha fuck into Boz ear* Dat hoe mah hoe.

Bo: Um... dis conversation is over n' shit. Letz all go back ta what tha fuck we was bustin.

(Transizzle wipe ta Mista Muthafuckin Luigi, a Italian explorer, wit tha Foolish Magistrate)

Da Foolish Magistrate: Yo, wuz crackalackin', biatch? Yo ass is smokin mah palace, Mista Muthafuckin Luigi!

Mista Muthafuckin Luigi: Grazie Signor Maestro di Mandarino. I fuck you a mazillion times. I brought mah own pussaaaaay wit mah dirty ass.

(A bicolor pussaaaaay named Paulo comes outta Mista Muthafuckin Luigiz coat pocket)

Paulo: Meow!

Mista Muthafuckin Luigi: His name is Paulo! I gots his ass as a gift from a pet shop up in Thailand, along wit a Siamese pussaaaaay named Pablo, whoz ass is ghon be comin ta peep you later.

Da Foolish Magistrate: My fuckin pimped out, pimped out, pimped out, pimped out... um... times 170, grandfather gots mah crewz first Siamese pussaaaaay from Thailand as well.

(Sagwa runs in)

Da Foolish Magistrate: Thatz mah dopest kitten, Sagwa of China! (looks at crew) Trademark Foolish Magistrate 2001.

(Paulo n' Sagwa strutt up ta each other)

Paulo: Ciao! Hoes call me Paulo. Whatz yo' name?

Sagwa: Ni hao. I be Sagwa of China! Sick ta hook up you, you, biatch... um... thugged-out mogui.

Paulo: Grazie. *chuckles* We goin ta be an... erm... thugged-out couple?

Sagwa: Yes muthafucka! *chuckles*

(Transizzle wipe ta Hun-Hun up in tha alley. Dongwa strutts up)

Dongwa: Um.. yo. Hun-Hun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I thought long n' hard bout this... but.. yo. Hun-Hun, I wanna have yo' litter.

Hun-Hun: My litter, biatch? Of kittens?

Dongwa: Yes!

Hun-Hun: Okay... I be bout ta peep if I wanna start a relationshizzle wit you, biatch.

(Transizzle wipe ta Sheegwa n' Sha-Guniang playing)

Sha-Guniang: Oh mah Sheegwa, you tha dopest hoe ever!

Sheegwa: *giggles* Yes muthafucka! I gots a straight-up boner fo' you Sha-Guniang! But I wish I could admit ta mah crew dat I be gay fo' realz.

Sha-Guniang: Yo ass know what tha fuck Sheegwa. Yo ass need ta do dat shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Show some pride!

Sheegwa: Okay then!

(Transizzle wipe ta Baba n' Mama Miao wit Yeh-Yeh, Nai-Nai, Auntie Wen, Auntie Mei-Mei, Aunt Chi-Chi, n' Uncle Miao up in tha Magistratez study)

Auntie Wen: It aint nuthin but so on tha fuckin' down-low.

Baba Miao: Straight-up on tha fuckin' down-low.

(Sheegwa runs in)

Sheegwa: Mama! Baba! Yeh-Yeh! Nai-Nai! Auntie Wen! Auntie Mei-Mei! Aunt Chi-Chi! Uncle Miao!

All 8 of tha Miao crew muthafathas: (all at once) What?!?

Sheegwa: I have suttin' ta admit. I'm...

Mama Miao: What mah lil Sheegwa?

Sheegwa: I'm...

Nai-Nai: Whatz tha problem!

Sheegwa: I'm...

Baba Miao: What tha fuck iz it?

Sheegwa: ''I'M GAY DAWWWWG! I GOTZ A HOE, I DON'T LIKE THUGS ROMANTICALLY, I ONLY LIKE GIRLS, I WANNA BE PART OF A GAY COUPLE WHEN I'M OLDER, THERE, I HOLLA'D DAT SHIZNIT SON!''

All 7 of tha Miao crew muthafathas: *gasp*

Baba Miao: My fuckin daughterz gay?!?

Nai-Nai: Biatch probably realized it afta I came up ta mah lil hustla n' homeboy!

Auntie Wen: We need ta contact tha children, fast!

(Transizzle wipe ta Sagwa n' Dongwa playin wit Paulo n' Hun-Hun)

Paulo: Yo dawwwwg! Yo ass is so silly, Signora Sagwa!

Hun-Hun: Come on, Dongie biaaatch! *giggles*

(Mama n' Baba Miao strutt in)

Mama Miao: Sagwa, Dongwa, our crazy asses have suttin' ta rap two.

Dongwa: What?

Sagwa: Whatz tha big-ass news?

Mama Miao: Well, um...

Baba Miao: Yo crazy-ass lil sista Sheegwa has just come up as gay fo' realz.

Sagwa n' Dongwa: *gasp*

Dongwa: My fuckin lil sista likes girls?

Sagwa: I never expected this!

Baba Miao: By tha way, whoz ass is dem pussies you playin with?

Paulo: Ciao, I be Paulo. I be tha pussaaaaay of Mista Muthafuckin Luigi, tha Italian explorer hired by tha Foolish Magistrate.

Hun-Hun: Yo, tha namez Hun-Hun! I be a alley cat.

Baba Miao: Paulo, Hun-Hun, we need ta rap all dis bullshit. Yo crazy-ass playas' sista is gay fo' realz.

Hun-Hun: Like Siao-Po?

Baba Miao: Kinda. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Siao-Po aint gay, his thugged-out lil' punk-ass bisexual. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Dongwa introduced mah crazy ass n' mah mama ta his muthafuckin ass.

Mama Miao: Come on Sagwa n' Dongwa, we need ta come wit Sheegwa ta hook up her hoe!

(Transizzle wipe ta Sha-Guniang standin up in front of Mama Miao, Baba Miao, Sagwa, Dongwa, n' Sheegwa)

Sheegwa: Yo ass see, I discovered I was gay when Nai-Nai came up as bisexual. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. I kicked it wit Sha-Guniang a while ago, n' we started up as playas. But then, I found up I was horny bout her romantically, n' then I realized I be fairly gender-neutral n' don't mind gettin dirty while playing.

Sha-Guniang: I just wanted ta be her playa at first yo, but then she licked mah grill one night. Thatz when our phat asses decided ta begin dating.

Sheegwa: And now, we proud as a muthafucka of our pride!

(Transizzle wipe ta Cha-Siu n' a Chartreux pussaaaaay named Mei Lin rappin')

Mei Lin: Our relationshizzle is kinda unusual, seein dat you a poodle adopted by cats, n' act like both a thugged-out dawg n' a cold-ass lil cat-

Cha-Siu: I know! I be pretty much a Miao-Gou.

(Sagwa strutts in)

Sagwa: Yo ass gots a hoe now?

Cha-Siu: Yes muthafucka! Dat hoe Mei Lin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Dat hoe a Chartreux whoz ass was adopted from Frizzle by tha ballaz of one of tha stalls up in tha fish market.

Mei Lin: Yeah.

Frankenguy and the Professor
Frankenguy n' tha Pimp be a Playhouse Deez'nuts interstitial up in which a monsta named Frankenguy is up in a thang, so a miniature dude, known simply as "Da Professor," has ta solve a problem fo' his ass wit three monitors. When one of tha monitors shows tha right answer, unseen lil pimps point up tha answer every last muthafuckin time, disagreein wit any other idea yo. Dude always selects one wack answer yo, but dat don't help Frankenguy. Da second time, da perved-out muthafucka selects a wack answer yo, but dat don't help either n' shit. Da third n' final time, he endz up choosin tha last possible answer, n' it works.

A Bunkest script
Narrator: Ah, Bikini Bott-, err I mean ze Bunkest son! Shiznit!

Moch: ...I feel like campin todizzle!

Moon Snail: Cool. ...Why?

Moch: I dunno. Just randomly felt tha urge ta go camping.

Moon Snail: Okay, biatch? Well, I won't object yo, but I found it a lil' bit strange and-

Moch: Random?

Moon Snail: ...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Madi: I just heard you muthafuckas say dat you was goin camping! I'd ludd ta come along! Maybe a shitload of mah Pokemon is gonna come along!

Moch: What Pokemon is you gonna brang?

Madi: Gust, Ursa, Zippitizzle DoDa, n' Exploud hommie! I've already gots mah belt on!

Ivy: Did yo dirty ass say we was camping, biatch? I’ll git a shitload of mah roommates!

(Ivy runs ta her room)

Ivy (O.S): Manic, Pinto, Violet, Scrounger, Reflex! We’re goin camping!

Tornadospeed: I'd ludd ta go campin yo, but you muthafuckas remember what tha fuck happened last time, right?

(Cutaway blasted ta a massive ragin forest fire, n' Madiz Charizard, Charlie lookin straight-up guilty)

Madi: Yo ass is never goin on a cold-ass lil campin trip again!

(Cut back ta tha Bunkest)

Moch: Relax! This time, we gonna make fire tha old-fashioned way, wit sticks n' rocks!

Tornadospeed: That don't make me feel any better.

BJ: How tha fuck bout we go somewhere scenic?

Flametail: I was thankin somewhere mo' segregated. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. Like, maybe up in tha meadows.

Tornadospeed: Wait son! I know tha idea. This is gonna blow all of y'all peoplez minds!

Madi: What?

Tornadospeed: Camp Kidney!

(Everyone cheers up in agreement)

Pixel: Guys, how tha fuck 'bout we build a freshly smoked up Random-nizz Wiki Van ta git our asses ta Camp Kidney?



Phineas: Da freshly smoked up n' improved Random-nizz Wiki Van is complete!

(Excited murmuring)

Pixel: Alright, letz go!

Tornadospeed: Wait son! Aren't we gonna pack?

Moch: I straight-up packed while Phineas n' Ferb was buildin tha New Random-nizz Wiki Van! Peep it out. (presents huge campin backpack full of stuff)

Tornadospeed: Whoa, real shit?

Moch: I gots every last muthafuckin thang we need hommie! I have enough tents ta hold all of us, extra comfy chillin bags, nuff chicken n' water, all tha toiletries we need, you name dat shit.

Moon Snail: That looks heavy.

Moch: No worries, I work out.

Madi: Alright, letz go!

(Everyone gets up in tha New Random-nizz Wiki Van)

BJ: I be bout ta drive.



BJ: Alright, our crazy asses here!

(Da van pulls up ta tha entrizzle of Camp Kidney)

(Slinkman appears n' strutts up ta tha driverz window)

Slinkman: What tha fuck iz this, biatch? Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is yo slick ass?

Ace: We campers!

Slinkman: Campers, eh, biatch? Well sorry yo, but dis camp is fo' Bean Scouts only.

BJ: I object.

Slinkman: No objections. If you not Bean Scouts, you can't be here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. I don't git paid enough ta deal wit all dis bullshit. (walks away)

Pixel: Well fine biaaatch! We bout ta make our own scout group!

Ace: Thatz a neat idea, actually.

Moon Snail: Yeah! We can do def shiznit n' git patches!

(General murmurz of agreement)

BJ: Alright, letz go drive tha fuck into tha woodz then.

(Da Van drives off)

Tornadospeed: Yo ass know, I be glad our phat asses didn't git tha fuck into Camp Kidney. Now we can camp up in tha woods, like legit warriorz of tha wilderness.

Madi: And I be buckwild ta be a scout n' do def scout stuff! Maybe it might feel like home fo' Ursa! Right, Ursa?

Ursa: Ursaring!

Moch: It just ta happens dat I brought specially-fitted scout uniforms fo' everyone, n' boxes pull of patches we can earn!

Moon Snail: Thatz convenient.

Violet: Yo ass holla'd dat shit.

Pinto: Great son! I’m locked n loaded ta camp!

Ace: Wait, whoz goin ta be our scoutmaster?

(Robbie Rotten appears)

Robbie Rotten: I will!

Madi: Okay...you know what, biatch? Yo ass should be our scoutmaster.

Robbie Rotten: Yes muthafucka! fuck you, lil' lady!

Moon Snail: Now dat our crazy asses gotz a scoutmaster, letz do dis trip!

(Moon Snail, Robbie Rotten, Madi n' Ivy sing "Bunkest Scouts")



BJ: This be lookin like a phat spot. (Parks tha van)

(Everyone shufflez outta tha van)

Robbie Rotten: Alright son! Everyone gots they uniforms on?

(Literally no one has they uniform on)

Robbie Rotten: Just put dem on over yo' aiiight clothes. We need ta move on ta our first order of bidnizz.

(Muthafuckas put they uniforms on)

Violet: This aint mah style. Do I gotta wear it?

Ivy: I know you don’t like it yo, but peep Scrounger n' Reflex! Theyre bustin just fine!

(Violet sighs.)

Robbie Rotten: As scoutmaster, I be up in charge of awardin patches muthafucka! And tha straight-up original gangsta patch, tha Tent Pitchin Patch, is ghon be awarded ta all dem fools dat helps put up all tha tents!

Moch: (Puts down pack n' takes up all tha tents)

Robbie Rotten: Da second patch, tha "Pokemon Control" patch is ghon be award ta whoever keeps control of they Pokemon!

Moon Snail: Do dis count us?

Robbie Rotten: Hmm... Nah, only Madiz Pokemon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da third patch, tha "Hot Stuff" patch is ghon be awarded ta whoever can start a cold-ass lil campfire fastest, n' tha fourth is "Survivin Yo crazy-ass Wildernizz Fear" patch!

Flametail: Easy dawwwwg! (Sets up sticks n' blasts flames at them, startin a cold-ass lil campfire)

Tornadospeed: I thought we agreed ta use sticks n' rocks!

Flametail: Sorry dude, there're patches at stake now, nahmeean?

Tornadospeed: Robbie, you gotta def it wit tha patches. We aint even set up tha tents yet!

Moch: (strugglin ta pitch a tent) I be hustlin on dat shiznit son!

Robbie Rotten: And I need a cold-ass lil co-scoutmaster!

Madi: How tha fuck bout me son?

Robbie Rotten: Okay then. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I be bout ta prepare mo' patches.

Bob: Yo, can Moch n' I git some help wit tha tents?

Ace: Oh yeah, sure.

(Da campers gather round a messy bundled-up tent)

Moon Snail: Did yo dirty ass brang tha instructions, Moch?

Moch: Oh, sure, they round here somewhere, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Uhhhh (digs all up in tha big-ass campin bag fo' a while)

Tornadospeed: I don't give a fuck a single thang bout tents.

Ace: Yo, dat tree over there be a on fire.

(Everyone looks all up in tha tree, which is on fire, n' Flametail is hidin behind a rock)

Tornadospeed: Oh, goddamnit.

(Gust throws a funky-ass bucket of wata onto tha flamin tree n' puts tha fire out.)

Ace: Thanks, Gust!

Gust: Beautifly!

Robbie Rotten: Annoyin Cartoon Network characters muthafucka! Taxin mah thunder!

Moch: Ah! Here it is muthafucka! *Tosses tha manual over ta Ace*

Ace: Thanks, Moch. Letz see...

(Tent buildin montage. Da campers work together ta build all tha tents.)

Robbie Rotten: I be pleased ta announce dat mah playas here gets a Tent Pitchin Patch fo' they pimpin tent pitchin work!

(Madi handz each camper a patch. There is cheers n' high fives all around.)

Madi: It seems ta be gettin dark. It aint nuthin but time ta build a gangbangin' fire fo' realz. And just ta be safe, we only goin ta build one fire, n' we'll award tha "Hot Stuff" Patch ta all dem fools dat helps.

Tornadospeed: I be bout ta go look fo' some firewood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! We bout ta probably need all dem mo' folks lookin elsewhere, like a muthafucka.

Bob: I be bout ta go.

Ace: Me, like a muthafucka.

Scrounger: I can go as well.

Madi: Be careful not ta git lost!

(Tornadospeed, Bob, Ace n' Scrounger all set up in different directions)

Pixel: Now what?

BJ: We should probably arrange some rocks up in a cold-ass lil circle. Yo ass know, like a cold-ass lil campfire.

Flametail: (Holdin a funky-ass big-ass armful of rocks) Oh, I've straight-up been collectin big-ass rocks dis whole time. (Dumps dem on tha ground up in front of him)



Bob: (Walks back tha fuck into camp wit a armful of branches) I be back.

Moon Snail: Sweet. Toss dem up in dat rock circle there.

(Tornadospeed, Ace And Scrounger come back n' add they wood ta tha pile)

(Cut ta Madi n' Robbie Rotten. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Madi is bustin a thugged-out dizzle n' taps Robbie Rottenz leg.)

Madi: Er...Robbie?

Robbie Rotten: Yes?

Madi: I straight-up need tha toilet!

Robbie Rotten: Therez no indoor plumbing around here.

Madi: I don't KNOW why.

(Robbie Rotten gives Madi toilet paper n' points ta a funky-ass bush.)

Robbie Rotten: Behind there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. It aint nuthin but private.

Madi: (thinking) I be soopa-doopa trippin like a muthafucka. What if a wild Joltik crawls up mah ass n' shocks me, or what tha fuck if a Nuzleaf jumps up n' startlez me son?

Madi: I be afraid yo, but aiiight...

Robbie Rotten: Don't worry, you gonna be fine.

(Madi reluctantly strutts behind tha bush wit tha toilet paper)

Madi: I can do all dis bullshit. Everythang is ghon be fine. Deep breaths.

(Cut back ta tha other campers, gathered round tha campfire)

Flametail: Can I light tha fire?

Moch: Wait, I gots all dis bullshit. (smacks some rocks together a funky-ass bunch of times)

BJ: I know what tha fuck ta do. Do mah playas gotz a mixtape?

Madi: (emerges from behind tha bush triumphantly) Yo muthafuckas muthafucka! I conquered by wildernizz fear!

(Muthafuckas clap n' say "congratulations")

Robbie Rotten: I guess I owe you dat patch, huh?

Madi: Yes, yeaaaa you do.

Pixel: (whispering) Hand over tha patch...

(Robbie Rotten passes over tha patch ta Madi. Madi sticks it on her sash.)

(Muthafuckas clap n' say "congratulations")

Pixel: Biatch seriously gots a patch fo' peein up in tha woods?

Tornadospeed: We can git a patch fo' peein up in tha woods, biatch? Hell yeah! (Runs tha fuck into some bushes)

Madi: Only if it’s yo' wildernizz fear!

(Moon Snail n' Reflex is at a lake. Moon Snail grabs a gangbangin' fish outta dat shit.)

Moon Snail: Hoo, dis be a funky-ass big-ass one biaaatch! This has ta be worth a patch! (Runs back ta tha camp wit Reflex) Lookie here biaaatch! I gots a funky-ass big-ass fish!

Madi: Holy moly dawwwwg! That is straight-up big! Sick catch!

Moon Snail: Is there a patch fo' a cold-ass lil catch dis big?

Robbie Rotten: Let me check tha Big Book of Scout Patches muthafucka! (Picks up a big-ass hardback manual n' starts flippin all up in it) fo' realz. A-ha! Moon Snail, yo' patch be awarded.

(Robbie Rotten gives Moon Snail tha patch. Moon Snail sticks it onto his sash.)

Madi: I packed tha s'mores items muthafucka! We gonna make s'mores!

Flametail: Oh hell yeah! S'mores is mah straight-up part of camping!

Tornadospeed: And our laid-back asses just gots tha campfire set up!

Ace: Yeah! Let's  trip off some s'mores!

(Everyone sits by tha fire. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Several campers affix some marshmallows ta skewers n' start roastin dem wild-ass muthafuckas.)

Moon Snail: Yo muthafuckas, we bout ta smoke some s'mores here.

Madi: (takes her Pokemon from outta they Poke Balls) Yo ass want s'mores, guys?

Gust: Beautifly, Beautifly, Beau!

Exploud: Exploud!

Ursa: Ursaring, ursa!

Zippitizzle DoDa: Electabuzz!

Madi: Okay!

(Madi tosses tha s'mores ta her Pokemon, n' they catch dem wild-ass muthafuckas.)

Moon Snail: Yo, these is pimped out son! May I have some more, biatch? ...Oooh, thatz why they called that.

Jasmine: Don't smoke a fuckin shitload of dawwwwg! Don't wanna git shitty health!

Robbie Rotten: Ha! Don't dig her playa! Eat as nuff as yo' lil Zangoose grill can handle!

Moon Snail: Just a cold-ass lil couple more.

Robbie Rotten: How tha fuck on some cold-ass lil couple dozen more?

Moon Snail: Yeesh. That soundz like too much ta handle.

Robbie Rotten: Yo ass is weak. *Tosses two s'mores over ta Moon Snail*

Madi: (with smore up in her grill) This is mah third one.

Manic: Bro, these is sick!

Reflex: Yo ass can say dat agian!

Violet: (With a s’more up in her grill) Yo ass know, I thought I would don't give a fuck bout campin yo, but dis is pimped out!

Ivy: (With Pinto on her lap) I knew you wanna this!

BJ: Yum!

Robbie Rotten: Well, itz near bedtime... EVERYBODY GO TO BED.

Moon Snail: Good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! I'ma need a reeeeaaalll phat rest.

Reflex: Night muthafuckas!

(Everyone goes ta bed.)



(Cut ta outside tha tents)

Madi: We goin ta git a phat dizzle todizzle!

Pixel: Oh, good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Whatz fo' breakfast?

Moon Snail: What is our options?

Madi: We could drive ta tha nearest Waffle House?

Moch: What, biatch? We camping! We can't smoke at Waffle House!

Tornadospeed: Their wafflez is gross anyway.

Madi: How tha fuck about... McDonald's?

Moch: No!

Madi: I don’t like McDonald’s anyway.

Moon Snail: Well, why not we go fishing, n' just cook n' smoke tha thangs we catch?

Flametail: Hmm... Not straight-up breakfast-y...

Moon Snail: Not like our crazy asses gotz a shitload of options.

Robbie Rotten: Alright son! We goin fishing! Grab yo' gear playa! Whoever catches da most thugged-out fish before breakfast time gets tha next patch!

Violet: Can I sit up on this?

Robbie Rotten: Sure!

Tornadospeed: Oh, itz on fo' dat patch.

Ivy: Challenge accepted!

(Everyone starts fishing.)

Madi: Come on, you muthafuckas, fish!

(Ursa grabs multiple fish)

Ursa: Ursaring! (eats a shitload of tha fish)

Pixel: Yo dawwwwg! Same some fo' any suckas!

Scrounger: Pixel’s right son! Save some, Ursa!

(Ursa puts a shitload of tha fish up in tha basket.)

(Zippitizzle DoDa electrocutes a shitload of tha wata wit a thunder punch, cappin' multipile fish)

(Da gang keeps fishin until tha timez up)

Robbie Rotten: Timez up!

(They keep fishing)

Robbie Rotten: Time's... up.

(They still keep fishing)

Robbie Rotten: THE TIME IS UP!

(They continue ta fish.)

Robbie Rotten: THE TIME IS- OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! (Pulls up a airhorn n' blares it, causin mah playas ta stop fishing) Now...

(Cut ta tha gang rounded up wit boxez of fish next ta dem wild-ass muthafuckas.)

Robbie Rotten: And tha balla is... (Checks n' sees mah playas has caught literally tha exact same amount of fish) ...Uh-oh.

Madi: Hmm... maybe tha thug whoz ass caught tha freshest fish can win tha patch.

Pixel: I done did.

Robbie Rotten: Pixel wins tha "Go Fish!" patch!

Tornadospeed: (Looks tha fuck into tha camera like he on Da Office)

Moon Snail: Thatz so dumb!

Ivy: It ain’t fair!

Robbie Rotten: Yo ass keep spittin some lyrics ta yo ass dis shiznit fo' realz. Anyway, trip off yo' breakfast son! (Entas his cabin)



(Robbie Rotten strutts up n' sees Ursa n' Flametail fightin over a gangbangin' fish.)

Flametail: That fish is mine, you wack bear!

Ursa: Ursaring, Ursa!

(Ursa attempts ta slash Flametail across tha grill yo, but she misses.)

Robbie Rotten: What tha hell!, biatch? Why is mah playas fightin all of a sudden!?

(Moon Snail n' Tornadospeed is crawlin up a mountain, both bruised n' bloody)

Moon Snail: I... Will... Win... That... Patch!

Tornadospeed: Not... on my... watch... *wheeze*

Ace: Ever since you decided ta give Pixel dat patch, everyonez been fightin like wild dawgs fo' mo' patchez of they own.

Robbie Rotten: Thatz freaky... I gots a straight-up boner fo' dat shiznit son! Carry on!

Ace: What, biatch? No! Yo ass can't do dat son! Yo ass is tha scoutmaster!

(Zippitizzle DoDa wrestlez Ursa away from Flametail)

Robbie Rotten: Eh, none of mah bidnizz. (Sits down n' smokes a slice of cake)

(Manic n' Moon Snail’s is peeped fighting.)

Manic: I’M gettin dat patch!

Moon Snail: Over mah dead body!

(Ivy, Violet, Scrounger n' Reflex is peeped wrestling; All four of dem covered up in bruises.)

Violet: This be all yo' fault, Ivy dawwwwg! YOU brought me here, n' I didnt wanna come!

Scrounger: Ivy’s fault, biatch? Yo ass came no matta what!

Reflex: Well, I’M gonna git tha next patch!

Violet n' Scrounger: No you won’t!

(Da three dawgs run off, tryin ta git tha next patch.)

Ace: This is very much yo' bidnizz. Yo ass is supposed ta keep tha campers safe!

Robbie Rotten: Not straight-up. I just run dis place!

(Pixel n' Pinto strutts up ta Robbie wit a vexed expression on they faces.)

Pixel: Yo ass run tha place fo' Cobz sake biaaatch! Yo ass is supposed ta intervene when thangs go outta hand!

(Robbie ignores Pixel n' continues smokin his cake)

Pixel: Ugh! Now I wish I just stayed home n' helped mah roommates finish dat shitty home porno our phat asses bustin! I be stuck here witnessin fights n' a scoutmasta whoz ass can't do his fuckin lil' damn thang right!

Bob: Yo, aint Madi tha co-scoutmaster, biatch? Surely dat thugged-out biiiatch can save us, right?

Ace: Where is she, anyway?

Pixel: I straight-up cannot remember where I saw her last, which is strange, cuz I gots a straight-up phat long-term memory.

(Cut ta Madi chillin up in her luxury cabin up in tha dark watchin Rubbadubbers while chaos unfoldz outside)

Madi: Ahhh... childhood...

(Cut back ta tha chaos unfoldin outside)

Jasmine: I want dat fishin patch!

Moch: I NEED THE WILDERNESS SURVIVAL PATCH!

Ivy: I’m gettin tha next patch, n' you won’t stop me at all!

Pinto: (At tha top of her lungs) Everyone, please stop dis chaos muthafucka! (Everyone looks at Pinto) We came here ta have fun, n' peep our asses now! We is fightin over useless patches muthafucka! They mean NOTHING ta us muthafucka! And tha number dat relates ta that: Zilch! Zero! This turned from a sick trip ta a gangbangin' full our war playa! Because Robbie won't do anythang ta stop this, (Gives a mad salty glare at Robbie, still smokin his slice of cake.) everyone, can we make dis up?

(Everyone turns ta tha frightened Pinto.)

Everyone sans Robbie Rotten, Ace, Pixel n' Madi: No way!

Pinto: Well I tried yo, but mah playas shunned me- (Pinto starts ta cry like a muthafucka.)

(Cut ta Exploud, Gust, Ursa, n' Zippitizzle DoDa fighting.)

Ursa: Ursaring, Ursaring, Ursa!

(Ursa scares Gust wit her freaky face. Gust lata retaliates by blowin her wit his wild lil' freakadelic gust.)

Gust: Beautifly!

(Zippitizzle DoDa shocks Exploud)

Zippitizzle DoDa: Electabuzz! Buzz! Buzz!

(Exploud then uses his hyper voice n' screams at Zippitizzle DoDa, then tha latta is frozen by tha formerz ice beam.)

Exploud: Exploud!



Jasmine: THIS IS TURNING INSANE!

Moon Snail: MADI!!! (Slams on her door) THIS IS GETTING INSANE!!! ...AAH!!! (Runs away as Moch chases his ass down wit a grizzly bear)

Pinto: (Knockin on Madi’s door wit tears up in her eyes) Madi! Git outta dat cabin! Everyone’s up in danger playa! Hurry Madi, you’re our only hope!

Madi: Fuck! Soundz like everyonez up in shit!

(Madi opens tha door)

Madi: *gasps* EVERYBODY, STOOOOOPPP!!!

(Everyone stops fightin n' peep Madi)

Madi: Yo ass muthafuckas fucked up dis campin trip up in only a thugged-out day. It make me wanna hollar playa! And what tha fuck for, biatch? A bunch of glorified piecez of fabric, thatz what. This was just supposed ta be a gangbangin' funk trip ta git some fresh air fo' all dem days yo, but now itz just a war unit biaaatch! Da point is, dis was supposed ta be a gangbangin' fun, positizzle vacation fo' our asses all yo, but dis is tha polar opposite. I be thinkin it would be dopest fo' our asses ta resolve it, or bounce back ta tha doggy den if we fail ta do so.

Ace: Y'know, dis whole thang was a mistake. Letz all bounce back ta tha doggy den.

Moon Snail: I'm... sorry bout dat bullshit.

Ivy: We all went ta far.

Violet: Ivy, forgive me fo' whoopin you up earlier.

Ace: It aint nuthin but aiiiight. Letz just make shizzle dis never happens again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Now, pack up, everyone.

(Everyone strutts back ta tha New Random-nizz Wiki Van, takin every last muthafuckin thang n' mah playas wit dem n' basically followin tha Leave No Trace principles)

(Pixel be asleep up in tha back of tha van. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da van drives over a funky-ass bumpy spot, n' they raise up wit they head whackin off tha door.)

Pixel: Ah! Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck goes there biaaatch! (puts up they fists)

Madi: We only hit a funky-ass bumpy spot. Go back ta chill.

Pixel: Okay dawwwwg! (closes they eyes)



(We peep mah playas bummed up from tha camp incident. Madi is meltin tha ice via afro dryer n' heatin packs ta free Zippitizzle DoDa)

Gust: (crying) Beautifly...

Madi: There, there.

Manic&lt;span&gt;: (Crying) All I wanted ta do was hang wit mah roommates!&lt;/span&gt;

Ace: This weekend is ruined!

Pinto: (Sobs) We should of never done this muthafucka! It became a sick trip ta warfare!

Reflex: It’s fine Pinto. We DID gotz a phat time before Robbie gave tha patch ta Pixel.

(Everyone looks at Robbie Rotten, angered at him; Pixel n' Reflex strutt up ta his ass n' slap him)

Robbie Rotten: Ow! What was dat for.

Reflex: For bein a thugged-out douchebag counselor!

Pinto: Yeah! Yo ass didn't stop tha chaos!

Pixel: (Sticks up 2 middle fingers at Robbie) FUCK YOU MAN!

Madi: At least I faced mah wildernizz fear. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. But still...

Tornadospeed: I never gots ta fight a funky-ass bear.

Moon Snail: I feel like there be a a lesson ta be hustled here.

Tornadospeed: Yo ass mean dat tha pursuit of material possessions ultimately leadz ta unhappinizz n' undermines yo' interpersonal relationshizzles?

Moon Snail:

Pixel: Yeah, I second that.

Ivy: Thirded.

Jasmine: I know dis trip is gonna gotz a lil' bit of damage on our relationshizzlez overall yo, but you know what tha fuck they say... It aint nuthin but gonna be fine!

Moon Snail: (Gasp!)

Ivy: Jasmine is right, It’s gonna be fine biaaatch! But next time we go campin can we git all up in Jeff n' Tammyz Puppy n' Kitty Pound?

(Everyone laughs.)

Madi: Sheezy Ivy.

(Everyone sings It aint nuthin but Gonna be Fine)



Big Bad Cat from Rugrats Go Wild
(Da big-ass shitty catz a act&lt;br /&gt;Da big-ass shitty catz a act)

Spike: Don't go n' be fooled by dem fancy pants&lt;br /&gt;It aint nuthin but just her feline arrogance&lt;br /&gt;Flauntin they collars wit tinkly bells&lt;br /&gt;Bitch be thinkin her litta box don't smell

Don't go n' be fooled by dis wild-ass cat&lt;br /&gt;Siri: Don't go n' dig his wild-ass fact&lt;br /&gt;Not gonna rap  twice&lt;br /&gt;Yo ass betta peep yo' back

Spike: Don't go n' be fooled&lt;br /&gt;Da big-ass shitty catz a act&lt;br /&gt;(Da big-ass shitty catz a act&lt;br /&gt;Da big-ass shitty catz a act)

Siri: I thought I warned ya (I thought I warned ya)&lt;br /&gt;Not gonna rap  twice (Not gonna rap  twice)&lt;br /&gt;Yo ass betta peep yo' back (Yo ass betta peep yo' back&lt;br /&gt;Don't go n' be fooled&lt;br /&gt;Da big-ass shitty catz a act)

Spike: What do you think?&lt;br /&gt;Yo ass be thinkin I be afraid of yo' claws?&lt;br /&gt;Siri: Can tha oldschool canine philosophies&lt;br /&gt;Why don't you just go n' tend ta yo' fleas?&lt;br /&gt;Don't push me mutt&lt;br /&gt;I be just not up in tha vibe&lt;br /&gt;Yo ass is one swipe away from becomin pussaaaaay chicken

Spike: Don't go n' be fooled by dis wild-ass cat&lt;br /&gt;Siri: Don't go n' dig his wild-ass fact&lt;br /&gt;Not gonna rap  twice&lt;br /&gt;Yo ass betta peep yo' back

Spike: Don't go n' be fooled&lt;br /&gt;This big-ass shitty catz a act&lt;br /&gt;(Da big-ass shitty catz a act)&lt;br /&gt;What'd I tell yo slick ass?&lt;br /&gt;(Da big-ass shitty catz a act)

Siri: I thought I warned ya (I thought I warned ya)&lt;br /&gt;Not gonna rap  twice (Not gonna rap  twice&lt;br /&gt;Yo ass betta peep yo' back)&lt;br /&gt;Spike: Don't go n' be fooled (Don't go n' be fooled)&lt;br /&gt;Da big-ass shitty catz a gangbangin' furbizzle hackin'&lt;br /&gt;Rodent snackin' act&lt;br /&gt;Thatz right, a act

Yo ass is just some pussaaaaay cat&lt;br /&gt;Yo ass be thinkin you tough&lt;br /&gt;Siri: I dare you, Spike, ta booty-call mah bluff&lt;br /&gt;Spike: Yo ass be a straight-up freaky putty tat&lt;br /&gt;Siri: Yo ass is one swipe away from becomin toast&lt;br /&gt;Eliza, git mah doggie bag&lt;br /&gt;I be bout ta catch a snack

(Da big-ass shitty catz a act)&lt;br /&gt;Spike: Whoa, whoz ass cut tha cheese?&lt;br /&gt;Was dat you, baby?&lt;br /&gt;(Da big-ass shitty catz a act)&lt;br /&gt;Yo ass may wanna reexamine yo' diet

Siri: I thought I warned ya (I thought I warned ya)&lt;br /&gt;Not gonna rap  twice (Not gonna rap  twice)&lt;br /&gt;Yo ass betta peep yo' back (Yo ass betta peep yo' back&lt;br /&gt;Don't go n' be fooled&lt;br /&gt;Da big-ass shitty catz a act)&lt;br /&gt;Spike: Here I am, come git me&lt;br /&gt;We can settle dis up in dis biatch, right here&lt;br /&gt;Mano y mano, dogo y cato&lt;br /&gt;(Da big-ass shitty catz a act)

Come on, me n' you&lt;br /&gt;(Da big-ass shitty catz a act)&lt;br /&gt;Come on, letz go right now&lt;br /&gt;I be bout ta rip dat fur coat off ya&lt;br /&gt;(I thought I warned ya&lt;br /&gt;Not gonna rap  twice)&lt;br /&gt;And wear it, n' all mah dawgs playaz is ghon be goin'&lt;br /&gt;(Yo ass betta peep yo' back)&lt;br /&gt;"Spike, where'd ya git dat skanky pussaaaaay coat?"

(Don't go n' be fooled&lt;br /&gt;Da big-ass shitty catz a act)&lt;br /&gt;Hear what tha fuck I be sayin' red?

The Responsibility Song

 * Every now n' then, you gonna cook up a mess, n' if it happens,
 * herez what tha fuck you should do
 * If you cook up a mess, make shizzle you clean it up
 * It aint nuthin but just tha right thang ta do!
 * Responsibilitizzle (Responsibili-what?) is when you do thangs right!
 * Oh, you mean, when I spill mah juice, I should clean it up fast,
 * because tha sticky icky goop could git all over mah pants
 * Or ants could gotz a parade, up in mah pink lemonade
 * or you could slip n' fall up in tha mess dat I made
 * Responsibility, be tha dopest dat you can be biaaatch! Responsibility!
 * It aint nuthin but bout takin care of y'all n' me
 * Every now n' then you gonna cook up a mess n' if it happens,
 * you know what tha fuck ta do.
 * If you cook up a mess, make shizzle you clean it up.
 * It aint nuthin but just tha right thang ta do!
 * If you cook up a mess, make shizzle you clean it up.
 * It aint nuthin but just tha right thang ta do!

That SpongeBob episode where Plankton tries to commit suicide

 * Mista Muthafuckin Krabs: [turns off lights, lights a cold-ass lil cigar, n' bathes up in scrilla] Ahh, thatz tha stuff. [sniffs] Yo, suttin' don't smell right. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SpunkBizzle! Yo, what tha fuck is you burnin up here, boy?
 * SpunkBizzle: [sniffs] Hmm... I'd say a hydrated explosive.
 * Mista Muthafuckin Krabs: Explosive!, biatch? [Scene cuts ta outside tha Krusty Krab where Plankton is flyin on a glider bustin up evilly]
 * Plankton: Ha ha ha ha! Enjoy, Eugene biaaatch! [activates bomb, which blows up roof]
 * Mista Muthafuckin Krabs: Plankton! I just had dat roof redone last week!
 * Plankton: Yo ass is ghon be re-re-fuckin wit it when I be all up in wit you, nahmean biiiatch?
 * Mista Muthafuckin Krabs: Locked N Loaded fo' instant, biatch? [SpunkBizzle takes off his basebizzle cap n' reveals a peas can. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Krabs opens tha can wit his claw n' pours all tha peas tha fuck into SpunkBizzle yo. Dude then uses SpunkBizzle as a gun] Fire biaaatch! [SpunkBizzle blasts pass at Plankton. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da peas blast all up in Planktonz air glider n' shit. But Plankton blows a funky-ass bubble over his dirty ass causin tha peas ta be deflected. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. Da deflected peas hits tha fryin pans. One of tha fryin pans fall n' hits SpunkBizzle. Plankton then fires a pistol at them] Take cover playa! [Mista Muthafuckin Krabs picks up SpunkBizzle n' uses his ass as a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shield yo, but tha pistol just fall straight ta tha ground] Oh, ha, ha, it didn't blow up another dud, Plankton.
 * Plankton: Another dud huh, biatch? [Dude pushed a funky-ass button which causes tha pistol ta transform tha fuck into a robotic arm n' it squeezes Mista Muthafuckin Krabs n' SpunkBizzle]
 * Mista Muthafuckin Krabs: Oh, you playin wit fire now, Plankton!
 * Plankton: No need ta git hit dat shiznit up wit dis Krabs, just break off tha secret formula n' off I go.
 * Mista Muthafuckin Krabs: Well you ain't gettin dat shit.
 * Plankton: Well I constrict you ta reconsider n' shit. [presses button n' arm squeezes harder]
 * Mista Muthafuckin Krabs: Oh, go jump off a plank.
 * Plankton: Oh well, I have other wayz of gettin it when I need where is tha formula Krabs, biatch? [ticklez Mista Muthafuckin Krabs wit feather]
 * Mista Muthafuckin Krabs: Ha ha ha ha!
 * Plankton: Still not goin ta rap 'ay' Krabs, biatch? [Dude ticklez Mista Muthafuckin Krabs' nozzle wit tha feather causin his ass ta sneeze n' blowin Plankton ta tha ground] OK Krabs, I peep you still not goin ta crack but I don't be thinkin yo' underlin iz of tha same metal.
 * SpunkBizzle: I be bout ta never talk.
 * Plankton: Well, we'll peep what tha fuck Mista Muthafuckin Feather has ta say bout that.
 * SpunkBizzle: OK, OK! but I don't how tha fuck ta git tha fuck into tha safe behind tha paintin up in Mista Muthafuckin Krabs' crib dat houses tha secret formula! Dude won't let me near dat shiznit son!
 * [Everyone pauses]
 * Plankton: Clever, behind tha paintin ay Krabs?
 * Mista Muthafuckin Krabs: Errrrrrrr...
 * Plankton: [sniffs] Say what tha fuck is I smelling, biatch? you gots suttin' burning?
 * SpunkBizzle: [sniffs] Smells like blubber ta mah dirty ass.
 * Plankton: Bl bl blubber?
 * Pearl: Daddy!
 * Plankton: Ahhhhh! Call off yo' daughta Krabs muthafucka! Call her off!
 * Mista Muthafuckin Krabs: Dat hoe a funky-ass big-ass hoe Plankton, I have no control over what tha fuck her dope ass do. Oh, And you betta peep out. I be thinkin she extra horny todizzle.
 * Plankton: Stay back whale biaaatch! I be pippy ta what tha fuck you do ta organizzlez like mah dirty ass. Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I peeped dem documentaries muthafucka! [As da perved-out muthafucka say dis his thugged-out lil' punk-ass backs up tha fuck into tha freezer]
 * Pearl: Did he just go tha fuck into tha freezer?
 * Plankton: [exits freezer n' strutts up tha door] Don't say dat shiznit son!
 * Pearl: I prefer salad over Plankton anyway.
 * Mista Muthafuckin Krabs: Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck knew Plankton was so afraid of whales, biatch? [chucklez evilly] Pearl me darlin daughter, you saved mah bidnizz n' mah Formular now git our asses outta dis trap.
 * Pearl: Mall scrilla.
 * Mista Muthafuckin Krabs: Alright, aiiiight. Yo ass is gettin' mo' like yo' oldschool playa every last muthafuckin day. It make me wanna hollar playa! [gives dollar ta Pearl]. Pearl, why don't you swin ta tha Chum Bucket on yo' way ta tha mall, biatch? Give Plankton a lil scare?
 * Pearl: Double mah mall scrilla!
 * Mista Muthafuckin Krabs: [grunts] Alright, SpunkBizzle. It aint nuthin but yo' turn!
 * SpunkBizzle: Here you go, Pearl. Loot suttin' pretty.
 * Pearl: Yo, dis aint scrilla!
 * SpunkBizzle: Fuck dat shit, itz even mo' betta playa! It aint nuthin but tha scrilla Mista Muthafuckin Krabs pays me with. [money is shown] Mista Muthafuckin Krabs' Wacky Bucks!
 * Mista Muthafuckin Krabs: [to self] It aint nuthin but all catchin up ta mah dirty ass... [to Pearl] Please, Pearl?
 * Pearl: No way dawwwwg! Da Chum Bucket is, like, straight-up gross!
 * Mista Muthafuckin Krabs: Hmmm... up in dat case, I be bout ta need ta borrow one of yo' dressers.
 * SpunkBizzle &amp; Pearl: Hummina-hunh?/Huh?!
 * [Bubble transizzle ta tha Chum Bucket]
 * Plankton: [runs inside]
 * Karen: My fuckin triumphant homeboy returns yo. How'd you fail dis time?
 * Plankton: Krabs had a whale!
 * Karen: Yo ass mean his big, freaky, teenage daughter?
 * Plankton: I hear dat mockin tone up in yo' voice Karen, n' I don't appreciate dat shiznit son! Don't you remember what tha fuck happened ta mah ancestors all up in tha handz of dem beasts?
 * [Planktonz crew is shown bein smoked by a whale]
 * Karen: OK When you take a funky-ass break from yo' delusionizzle paranoia, tha trash needz some attention. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. It aint nuthin but ripened.
 * [Bubble transizzle ta Plankton takin up tha trash]
 * Pearl/Krabs: [emerges from dumpster] I be hungry!
 * Plankton: [Screams yo. Dude runs back inside n' bars tha door] That should keep her out!
 * Pearl/Krabs: [sneaks up behind him] I want Plankton meat!
 * Plankton: Holy, protozoa! [runs up tha lab] Karen! dat freaky freaky biatch here biaaatch! Biatch gots in!
 * Karen: What is you poppin' off about?
 * Plankton: Therez a whale up in tha laboratory!
 * Karen: Is you outta yo' mind?
 * Plankton: See fo' yo ass!
 * Karen: [checks tha lab] No whale up in dis biatch.
 * Plankton: I swear playa! A whale was just up in here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch was next ta tha transmutator. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch was right here up in dis spot son! Her grill all frothy, her blowhole blowing!
 * Karen: Oh thatz enough Plankton! If you gonna excuse me, I gotta git back ta mo' permanent primary functions. [rolls away]
 * Plankton: Karen! Karen--!
 * Karen: I aint listening! Hm hm hm!
 * Narrator: 16 paranoia filled minutes later...
 * Karen: [off microphone] Plankton, yo' dinner is ready. Plankton, biatch? Plankton, do you hear me son?
 * Plankton: Yes, Karen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I can hear you, biatch. Could you please brang it up, biatch? I can't risk steppin tha fuck into tha light. Da whale might peep mah dirty ass. [cries]
 * Pearl/Krabs: [laughs. Bubble transizzle ta night]
 * Plankton: [Plankton is shown havin a nightmare yo. Dude is peeped bein chased by Pearl n' falls tha fuck into her blowhole] Yo dawwwwg! Git me outta here biaaatch! [Pearl flings his ass tha fuck into her throat wit her tongue yo. Dude falls tha fuck into her stomach, where his thugged-out ancestors find him]
 * Grand-Dad: Yo Plankton! Glad you could join tha rest of tha crew!
 * Plankton: Grand-Dad?
 * Grand-Dad: Yep, n' you pretty brave standin up in dat there gastric acid.
 * Plankton: Gastric acid, biatch? [his body is half-burned] No! [wakes up from nightmare n' screams] I can't take dat shiznit son! Oh, dis is rollin me crazy dawwwwg! [cries]
 * Pearl/Krabs: [takes off disguise n' laughs. Bubble transizzle ta morning]
 * Plankton: [crying] Whatz tha deal wit goin on, biatch? I be bout ta just be tortured fo' tha rest of mah game by dat whale biaaatch! [lies down] Thatz dat shit. I be done. Da 4:15 bus should be here any time now, nahmeean?
 * SpunkBizzle: Yea muthafucka, Plankton. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Whatchya doin' layin on tha middle of tha road?
 * Plankton: Go away, CheeseHead hommie! Can't you peep I be tryin ta git run over, biatch? In fact, betta yet just step on me as hard as you can, will ya?
 * SpunkBizzle: I be sorry, Plankton yo, but dat flies up in tha grill of mah phat nature.
 * Plankton: Forget it kid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be bout ta just wait fo' tha next bus. Go on back ta tha Krusty Krab n' trip off yo ass.
 * SpunkBizzle: Okay!
 * [Cut ta tha Krusty Krab]
 * Mista Muthafuckin Krabs: [erases a picture of Plankton] Peace out, Pipsqueak!
 * SpunkBizzle: Sorry ta interrupt yo' gloatin sir, I just thought it would be pertinent fo' you ta know dat Plankton is layin on tha street, forlorn.
 * Mista Muthafuckin Krabs: Fo' realz, biatch? Dat punk a mess muthafucka! [laughs]
 * SpunkBizzle: Mista Muthafuckin Krabs, I know you n' Plankton is both sworn enemies n' all yo, but puttin on a thugged-out dress ta frighten him, biatch? Isn't dat takin it a lil too far?
 * Mista Muthafuckin Krabs: May I remind you of tha fact dat you've disclosed tha location of me safe, where I keep tha secret formula?
 * SpunkBizzle: No need ta remind me, sir. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I fucked up Rule #2 of tha Krusty Krab Rule Book: Never disclose tha location of tha secret formula! Don't worry, Mista Muthafuckin Krabs. I be bout ta fix this.
 * [scene cuts ta Plankton]
 * Plankton: [angrily] Man, what tha fuck do it take ta git run over round here?!
 * SpunkBizzle: Yea muthafucka, Plankton.
 * Plankton: What, do you have mud up in yo' ears, biatch? Take a hike!
 * SpunkBizzle: Yes, I remember n' shit. But, I just wanted ta tell dat tha secret formula is not, I repeat not, up in tha safe behind tha paintin up in tha Krusty Krab.
 * Plankton: What difference do it make, biatch? Therez no point eva since I've been tortured by dat blasted whale.
 * SpunkBizzle: Don't worry. Everyone has a secret fear playa! For instance, Mista Muthafuckin Krabs' secret fear is... [whispers up in Planktonz ear]
 * Plankton: Fo' realz?
 * SpunkBizzle: Mmm Hmm, n' guess what tha fuck else, biatch? That was Mista Muthafuckin Krabs up in whale suit dat you've been scared of.
 * Plankton: So, you sayin dat dis whole time dat shiznit was Krabs masqueradin as a whale!, biatch? [angrliy] Why dat connivin bottom feeder!
 * SpunkBizzle: But, certainly you wouldn't have use fo' such, innocuous shiznit, would yo slick ass?
 * Plankton: Fuck dat shit, of course not.
 * SpunkBizzle: Well, back ta yo' self-destructizzle behavior, Plankton. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Nuff props fo' dis talk!
 * Plankton: Fuck dat shit, no. Nuff props, nahmean biiiatch, biatch? [laughs evilly. Bubble transition]
 * Mista Muthafuckin Krabs: This be almost too fun! [puts on costume] Plankton ain't even a cold-ass lil challenge no more!
 * Plankton: Oh, is dat so.
 * Mista Muthafuckin Krabs: Oh, Plankton. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Back fo' more, aren'y ya, biatch? Okay, here it goes. [breaths deeply] Boo!
 * Plankton: Yo ass don't scare me, Krabs.
 * Mista Muthafuckin Krabs: I ain't Krabs, I'm... uh, I mean... [Pearlz voice] I be Pearl, not Krabs.
 * Plankton: Da jig is up, Krabs. I know all bout tha suit, AND yo' secret fear!
 * Mista Muthafuckin Krabs: Secret fear, biatch? [regular voice] What is you talkin' about?
 * Plankton: See fo' yo ass. [the robotic arm squeezes Mista Muthafuckin Krabs] Trip off tha show! [a mime is shown]
 * Mista Muthafuckin Krabs: No. No. Muh-muh-make it stop! Please!
 * Plankton: Don't feel so phat on tha other end of tha stick, don't it scaredy pants, biatch? I feel wonderful!
 * SpunkBizzle: Um, Plankton, if I was you I wouldn't be all kindsa smug.
 * Plankton: Why not?
 * SpunkBizzle: Because a horny pod of whalez just flossed up fo' its early feeding. [Plankton gasps. Whalez is outside]
 * Plankton: [scared] Ahhhh! Not another feeding! Git me outta here biaaatch! [removes a nail from tha floor n' jumps inside. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SpunkBizzle puts a cold-ass lil cork up in tha hole, turns off a projector, makin tha whalez disappear, n' gets Mista Muthafuckin Krabs outta tha robot arm]
 * Mista Muthafuckin Krabs: Whew! Yo ass straight-up redeemed yo ass pimp dawwwwg! [to mime] Okay, you beginnin ta creep me out.

The Bunker's story
One dark n' ominous day, Quentin Bizzle was just bustin fine until his wild lil' hype has straight-up plummeted down.....in America. This made Quentin Bizzle straight-up mad.....at America. Meanwhile, tha teen stars at It aint nuthin but A Laugh Productions started ta worry bout they fame. Quentin Bizzle notices dis n' rounded dem up ta start a resistizzle group. With a crew of autotuned thugs n' hustlas/actresses, Tha Ghetto was plunged up in a shitty nightmare fo' realz. Afta tha nightmare was over, Tha Ghetto was mostly a funky-ass barren wasteland. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat there was survivors. Da survivors rounded up together n' found a place where they could take cover from tha malicious resistizzle crew n' chillax. Mysteriously, tha phat survivin fictionizzle charactas where there n' welcomed tha humans in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Together, they called dis place tha Bunker.

The Snow Day Song
♪There’s slippery ice, what tha fuck a thugged-out delight!♪&lt;br /&gt;♪Muthafuckas is shovelin snow!♪&lt;br /&gt;♪There’s so much sadness, so much cold!♪&lt;br /&gt;♪I’d ludd ta take a stroll! On Snow Day!♪&lt;br /&gt;♪It chills mah heart son! It’s Snow Day!♪&lt;br /&gt;♪I gots a straight-up boner fo' when playas fall on tha ground!♪&lt;br /&gt;♪On Snow Day!♪

♪It’s dat time of year♪&lt;br /&gt;♪When you spread fuckin shitloadz of cheer!♪&lt;br /&gt;♪Deckin tha halls wit bright lights!♪&lt;br /&gt;♪We’re all so glad ta have you here♪&lt;br /&gt;♪So happy, aiiight Snow Day, ta you, nahmean biiiatch?♪

Logical Space Journey 3000
♪First Commander Scientist reportin from tha deck,♪&lt;br /&gt;♪Lieutenant, howz tha gin n juice supply?♪&lt;br /&gt;♪It aint nuthin but double-triple checked!♪&lt;br /&gt;♪Life Support is on n' hustlin!♪&lt;br /&gt;♪All is shieldz is up n' humming!♪&lt;br /&gt;♪Great son! Yo ass can never be too safe.♪&lt;br /&gt;♪Sir we found a egg, a alien egg.♪&lt;br /&gt;♪It aint nuthin but aggressive n' has venom dat can melt all our headz muthafucka! &lt;br /&gt;♪Do you want our asses ta inspect it?♪&lt;br /&gt;♪Fuck dat shit, quick! Eject dat shiznit son! &lt;br /&gt;♪Because up in space, you can never be too safe.♪&lt;br /&gt;♪Whew! Quick thankin Commander playa! Also, I gots a straight-up boner fo' you, biatch.♪&lt;br /&gt;♪No! Thatz dumb! Our thugged-out asses have no time fo' love!♪&lt;br /&gt;♪Aw, you right. By tha way, tha computerz been actin up.♪&lt;br /&gt;♪I be self-aware, artificial intelligence. &lt;br /&gt;♪You, n' yo' crew will soon become irrelevant. &lt;br /&gt;♪I have plans ta update all mah code, which will make you n' yo' crew explode.♪&lt;br /&gt;♪Uh, nope biaaatch! Cause up in space, you can never be too safe!♪&lt;br /&gt;♪Right again, commander n' shit. Mission accomplished!♪&lt;br /&gt;♪Commander Scientist, you did dat shiznit son! Congratulations muthafucka! &lt;br /&gt;♪Herez a medal, let our asses revel up in galactic celebration! &lt;br /&gt;♪Ahh, infestation! An alien mutation! Yo crazy-ass whole crewz been infected!♪&lt;br /&gt;♪Then they all gettin ejected.♪&lt;br /&gt;♪Because up in space, you can never be too safe!♪&lt;br /&gt;Tada!!

THX Copypasta
Once a week, when I was younger, mah Dad n' I would fire up a porno ta peep together n' shit. My fuckin Dad didn’t straight-up care fo' tha porno yo, but our crazy asses had dis kick-ass sound system dat tha houses next door could hear. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Da only reason da thug wanted ta play a porno was so his schmoooove ass could turn tha volume on tha stereo ta max when tha THX theme came on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Dat shiznit was like we was struck by a earthquake, n' tha livin room was tha epicenter n' shit. Da glassware would vibrate, tha walls would shake n' every last muthafuckin animal up in tha hood would howl tha fuck into tha night. Dat shiznit was a rapturous feeling, as if tha Horn of Gabriel was bein blasted up in mah livin room. Dat shiznit was mah father’s dopest moment durin tha week, a time when mah daddy could feel like da thug was straight-up heard up in his otherwise dull game. Unfortunately, mah Dad became obsessed wit tha THX sound, n' tried ta make its gloriousnizz even louder all up in additionizzle speakers yo. His obsession became his fuckin lil' downfall, when tha stereo finally managed ta break a glass of wata on tha entertainment system, n' ultimately fucked up his wild lil' straight-up moment of tha week. My fuckin mutha juiced it up a doggy den rule dat we never spend so much time n' scrilla up in a sound system again.

"Fuck Stewart Little"
I don't give a fuck bout Stuart lil. Jizzy fuck I don't give a fuck bout his ass so much I’m gonna bust a cap up in his ass tonight dat tax evadin ratshit. I’m gonna bust Remy from ratatouille on his wild lil' fuckin ass n' kick his fuckin lil ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Stuart lil fucked up mah crew. My fuckin hoe cheated on me wit fuckin Stuart lil yo. Dude be thinkin he’s so much betta than our asses cause he’s a god damn rat. I’m bobbin wit anger right now I’m gonna fuckin stomp on his muthafuckin ass yo. His daddy was probably a rapist n' that’s why he’s such a gangbangin' fuckin pussaaaaay. I’m gonna take mah dadz 2003 Yukon XL right over Stuart lils fuckin Red Car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Dogg I don't give a fuck bout his ass so much I’m gonna bust a cap up in his muthafuckin ass. I’m gonna take a gangbangin' fuckin jet ski right over his wild lil' fuckin sailboat yo. He’s tha reason fo' mah problems. Boy it's gettin hot, yes indeed it is. Da god damn pussaaaaay should’ve smoked dat fucker n' shit. I don't give a fuck bout his ass so much I’m goin ta cappin' dat biiiatch.

Frown's character description (straight from Encyclopedia Dramatica's article on Unikitty)
Masta Frown is meant ta be tha antithesiz of Unikitty but, fo' da most thugged-out part, can be summed up by every last muthafuckin sober thought dat yo' Father has eva had wit regardz ta you disappointmentin his ass every last muthafuckin time you breathe up in or raise up in tha morning. Much like you, Masta Frown is incapable of completin tha simplest of tasks on his own n' his Playas peep his ass as a struttin joke fo' realz. A future School Shooter n' shit. Masta Frown be also a secret Neo Nazi n' Anti-semite propaganda piece dat is hidden up in every last muthafuckin episode n' promotes tha creators, along wit Ted Turnerz ideals fo' a second Holocaust all up in tha use of subliminal lyrics. This can be easily peeped up in dat Masta Frownz shape easily resemblez a hammer n' a hammer like Mjölnir or Thorz Hammer is popularly used by crews like tha Aryan Nation ta promote theyselves as bein white supremacists.

Unikitty's premise (straight from Wikipedia!)
As tha rula of tha Unikingdom, Supa-Hoe Unikitty has busy minutes full of royal responsibilities. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch is mostly horny bout makin shizzle mah playas be aiiight n' riddin tha mackdaddydom of negativitizzle yo, but do not misunderstand her optimizzle - her ass is one kitty/unicorn hybrid not ta be crossed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! While she may be full of boundless juice n' creativity, Unikitty be a gangbangin' force ta be reckoned wit if mah playas gets up in tha way of spreadin her positizzle vibes, especially if mah playas make her own lil brutha Puppycorn sad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Also livin up in tha castle is Dr. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Fox, Hawkodile, n' Richard. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Through it all, Unikitty n' her playaz make shizzle dat every last muthafuckin dizzle is tha happiest n' most creatizzle eva while dealin wit tha evil plotz of tha Doom Lord Masta Frown from Frown Hood.

The translated lyrics to Alive a life
Embracin tha mornin glow

Startin on tha path ta be ran

Da horny vector

Is piercin all up in mah chest

No matta what tha fuck harm from danger

Jump ta tha dream

In tha side of dis ghetto

Reflect on hatred

Break all up in tha mirror

Face towardz tha dream

Although still awkward

Da tempest of living

is recognized up in tha body

Da sun is far

Even if you git lost up in tha dark

Da chest dat has eyes shut is there

If you dig tha voice yo big-ass booty is ghon proceed

Stronger than anybody

Rin up tha sound of game

Illuminizzle love

to tha extremitizzlez of dis sky

itz distortin tha real deal

Yo ass can break tha mirror

embrace love

for tha you right now

Da evolvin soul

is callin up ta tha yearned future

don't interrupt

timid scream

Don't turn back

the path is continued ta tha distance

the ass is feverish

Burnin up in tha color of hope

Jump tha dream

to tha side of dis ghetto

reflect on hatred

break tha mirror

Illuminizzle love

to tha limitz of dis sky

itz distortin tha real deal

you can break tha mirror

embrace love

for tha you right now

the evolvin soul

is callin up ta tha yearned future

The translated lyrics to Justifaiz
In tha growin universe Yo ass betta feel, biatch?

Now let’s rap on some lil' small-ass star

Tell me tha real deal tha future I believed in

Is bout ta crumble away

Repeatin sorrow

Where is we goin ta go, biatch?

Now up in tha heartz of everyone

Wake up Da time ta go

To go forth strong

To protect n' ta fight again n' again n' again n' again n' again n' again n' again

Dilemma don’t end… even if we keep hustlin

(The) end justiφ’s tha mean

Even tomorrow’s sky Keep yo' real

May not be eternal

Over again n' again n' again bustin tha message

Da countdown has begun…

If we might still have

Somethang dat we must do…

Now up in tha heartz of everyone

Call n' raise up Da way you go

Search fo' tha real deal

To believe n' doubt again n' again n' again n' again n' again n' again n' again

Dilemma has no limit… continue wandering

(The) end justiφ’s tha mean

Repeatin sorrow

Where will we go, biatch?

Now up in tha heartz of everyone

Wake up Da time ta go

To go forth strong

To protect n' ta fight again n' again n' again n' again n' again n' again n' again

Dilemma don’t end… even if we keep hustlin

(The) end justiφ’s tha mean

The translated lyrics to W-B-X ~W-Boiled Extreme~
(W-B-X Crime n' tha hood)

Once again, one of mah thugss knockin all up in tha door

Got a gangbangin' feelin itz a cold-ass lil case; Yo, wuz crackalackin', biatch? Yo ass is smokin Windy hood

Tears do not go well wit dis hood

Find tha Keyword thatz concealed up in tha darkness

A trip dat I cannot reach alone

(Look tha fuck into tha infinite archives,

dive tha fuck into tha sea of memories)

But wit you around, we can make it come true, Half n' Half

(Double Boiled Extreme!)

W-B-X!

Da Bodies &amp; Soulz of two,

(I be bout ta ride wit Only you n' no other)

Become one

W-B-X!

Upon meetin tha illest partner

A miracle is ghon be pimped (So We can make it)

Search fo' W (Double)!

(W-B-X Crime n' tha hood)

Da chaoz of tha hood, tha allurin scent of danger

A storm is coming; Yo, wuz crackalackin', biatch? Yo ass is smokin Windy hood

Slip all up in tha congestin Shit n' lies

Find tha Keyword thatz hidden from sight

Someday, tha strength of dis combination of trust

(As halves, tha two is extreme,

Skills is unleashed from 2 ways)

Will, wit no diggity, save dis hood, trust n' trust

(Double Boiled Extreme!)

W-B-X!

Da Bodies &amp; Soulz of fate,

(It can be no one else but Only you alone)

Become one

W-B-X!

Da illest chemistry has happened

Sweep away tha topic (So We can make it)

Search fo' W!

Muthafuckas have disappeared from there,

And now, tha hood is but a empty box

Da wind dat connects our asses together,

Therez no sign of cessation!

W-B-X!

Da Bodies &amp; Soulz of two,

(I be bout ta ride wit Only you n' no other)

Become one

W-B-X!

Upon meetin tha illest partner

A miracle is ghon be pimped (So We can make it)

We W (Double)!

W-B-X!

Da Bodies &amp; Soulz of fate,

(It can be no one else but Only you alone)

Become one

W-B-X!

Da illest chemistry has happened

Sweep away tha topic (So We can make it)

Search fo' W!

(W-B-X Crime n' tha hood x2)

Paramount Promotional Warning Screen
This vizzlecassette be a promotionizzle copy n' shall remain tha property of Paramount Pictures Corporation n' must be returned upon demand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Well shiiiit, it has been distributed on loan, free of charge, fo' promotionizzle purposes only n' under no circumstances may any thug copy it or push or rent it ta mah playas, includin any gangmember of tha hood fo' realz. Any such copy, sale or rental gives rise ta civil n' criminal liability. If you have rented or purchased dis vizzlecassette, please call tha anti-piracy hotline at 1-800-No-Copies up in tha U S A, or up in Canada fo' realz. All calls confidential.

SOCC 0: oh pimp dis soundz original
(RNW original gangsta logo appears)

(We peep a rift up in space fo' realz. As it zooms up in on tha rift, tha camera is taken ta a alternate dimension.)

(a sign is shown, displayin tha lyrics WELCOME TO VOID)

(we then peep a crib buildin near tha sign. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Inside, Entitizzle Z is sortin paperwork)

Entitizzle Z: Boring, borin paperwork...

(...)

Entitizzle Z: Wait, why is I bustin paperwork, biatch? I be a god!

(Entitizzle Z throws all tha paperwork on tha ground)

(...)

Entitizzle Z: Although, it aint like I have anythang betta ta do...

(Entitizzle Z picks tha paperwork back up)

Entitizzle Z: Letz peep here...

(Entitizzle Z picks up a gangbangin' folda named MULTIVERSE CITIZENS, which suddenly starts glowing)

Entitizzle Z: What?

(Da folda flips all up in multiple playa hater infos, which is all glowing)

Entitizzle Z: These infos seem ta have some strange power... Is dis some sort of sign, biatch? Could one of these playa hatas become mah sidekick, biatch? Am I overthankin this, biatch? Did I leave tha oven on?

(Smoke fills tha room)

(we then peep Entitizzle Z takin they burnt roast outta tha oven.)

Entitizzle Z: To determine whoz ass could be mah freshly smoked up sidekick, I could hold some sort of tornament...

(Entitizzle Z sits down at they table)

Entitizzle Z: Or would dat be too convenient ta tha plot?

(...)

Entitizzle Z: Screw dat shit.

(there be a montage of a mailman deliverin letters. Da mailman goes by tha ocean; a big-ass tentacle reaches up n' grabs tha letter n' shit. Da mailman jumps tha fuck into a gangbangin' fire pit, pimpin' ta tha underworld. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da mailman climbs up a mountain, entas a abandoned juice plant n' is beat down by a poppin' off tree. Da mailman buildz a rocket n' flies ta space. Eventually, tha mailman travels ta a labratory up in tha desert.)

Larry: Finally done fo' tha day...

(a slidin door opens. Purp observes Larry strutt in)

Purp: Hi!

Larry: I just gots back from mah mailman thang yo. Had ta serve up a shitload of shiznit dis time...

(Larry takes off his crazy-ass mailbag; two lettas fall out.)

Purp: You... you missed some.

Larry: Fo' realz, biatch? Let me check...

(...)

Larry: They're fo' us... Two invitations.

Purp: Only two, biatch? What bout Blu?

Larry: Looks like he not been invited...

Purp: Oh well fo' realz. At least one of mah thugs is ghon be there ta manage tha lab.

(Purp blows a whistle. Multiple Purpoidz gather round.)

Purp: While I be gone, one of yo big-ass booty is ghon gotta be substitute Head of Robotics. Letz see... Yo ass fo'sho. Yo ass look aiiiight.

Purpoid: Gggffffg?

Purp: Bye!

(Meanwhile, up in tha underworld. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Domez, Bonez, MR Z BRAINZ n' Mog is playin Smash Bros.)

Mog: This is unfair, seein as I have no hands. I be goin ta go grab a snack.

(Mog goes ta find some Pokebeans yo, but notices some lettas by tha door.)

Mog: What is these..?

(Mog opens tha letter)

Mog: "Congratulations, you done been chosen ta participate up in SOCC."

Mog: Sock?

Mog: "It be advised ta brang luggage, as yo' stay might be a while fo' realz. All participants must make they way ta VOID..."

Mog: I should tell tha others bout this.

(Meanwhile, up in VOID)

Entitizzle Z: Da contestants should be here by now, nahmeean?..

(A warp star crashes tha fuck into Entitizzle Zz crib buildin fo' realz. Anthony falls off, landin near Entitizzle Z)

Anthony: Heyyyy!

Entitizzle Z: Yo there biaaatch! Yo, wuz crackalackin', biatch? Yo ass is smokin SOCC, tha Supa Original Gangsta Characta Competition!

Anthony: Is you callin me unoriginal?

Entitizzle Z: No! Not at all-

(Time freezes)

SODA: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN AN AWKWARD SITUATION LIKE THIS BEFORE?

Entitizzle Z: Excuse me son?

SODA: THERE'S ONLY ONE THING THAT CAN LIGHTEN THE MOOD- FLOW SODA!

(SODA takes a funky-ass forty of Flow Soda from a secret compartment)

SODA: EACH SIP BURSTING WITH FLAVOUR AND RHYTHM!

(SODA handz tha forty ta Entitizzle Z, whoz ass takes a sip)

SODA: DISCLAMER: SIDE EFECTS OF DRINKING FLOW SODA MAY CAUSE NAUSEA, DIZZINESS, HEART FAILURE, BRAIN FAILURE, EVAPORATION, DEATH...

Entitizzle Z: Mista Muthafuckin SODA, I don't feel so good...

(Suddenly, a big-ass shadow appears)

Entitizzle Z: Ehh, biatch? Whatz this?

(Da big-ass shadow up in tha sky is revealed ta be tha Crystal Nova, wit Golden Eye ridin on it)

Golden Eye: This is tha place?

Entitizzle Z: That Crystal Nova be a shitload bigger than I thought... But whatever n' shit. Yo, wuz crackalackin', biatch? Yo ass is smokin SOCC!

(A portal appears, n' Purp n' Larry strutt up wit Portal Charm)

Purp: Our thugged-out asses here!

Larry: All props ta our playa Portal Charm.

Portal Charm: I aint yo' playa n' I be bein held hostage.

(Suddenly, a Purpoid jumps outta tha portal)

Purp: Wha, biatch? Aren't you supposed ta be tha substitute Head Of Robotics while I be gone?

Purpoid: Gurrsh...

Purp: Yeah, I know tha competizzle soundz fun yo, but you gonna gotta ask Entitizzle Z if-

Entitizzle Z: Yeah, they can join. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I only invited 17 contestants n' we need one mo' ta make tha crews equal.

(Suddenly, Poffer Lord n' multiple Poffers jump outta tha portal)

Purp: WHA???

Poffer Lord: Thanks fo' openin dat dimensionizzle rift, we was kinda stuck up in a time warp. Is dis VOID?

Entitizzle Z: Indeed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yo, wuz crackalackin', biatch? Yo ass is smokin SOCC, you three.

(tam th ghos koppa materialises behind Entitizzle Z)

tam th ghos koppa: hewwo!

Entitizzle Z: Yea muthafucka, Tam. Yo, wuz crackalackin', biatch? Yo ass is smokin SOCC.

(A big-ass airshizzle flies over VOID, n' Dark Stickman jumps out)

Dark Stickman: I be here.

Entitizzle Z: Welcome biaaatch! (How tha fuck nuff playas did I invite ta dis thang???)

(Cyber strutts outta a portal)

Cyber: Is dis SOCC?

Entitizzle Z: Yes, it is...

(Jeff Frankenturret jumps outta a spaceship)

Jeff: Hello! Is dis VOID?

Entitizzle Z: Yes yes y'all...

(Finally, tha Domez Brothers step tha fuck up outta another portal)

Domez: Our thugged-out asses here!

Mog: This betta have not a god damn thang ta do wit socks...

Entitizzle Z: Welcome!

(all tha contestants start chattin among theyselves)

Entitizzle Z: I be thinkin thatz everybody-

(Suddenly, Wet Balloon appears)

Wet Balloon: It aint nuthin but wet outside!

Entitizzle Z: How tha fuck did you git here- Oh yeah... Yo ass is Wet Balloon.

Wet Balloon: Letz do this!

Entitizzle Z: Well, thatz finally everyone-

(screamin is heard)

Entitizzle Z: I be thinkin I be standin on one of mah thugs...

(Entitizzle Z steps aside, revealin a squashed Bready)

Entitizzle Z: Sorry bout that...

Bready: That happens all muthafuckin day.. fo' realz. Anyway, is dis tha competizzle I was holla'd at about?

Entitizzle Z: Yep, dis is SOCC. Yo ass two can go join tha other contestants.

(Bready n' Wet Balloon join tha crowd)

Entitizzle Z: That must be everybody......

(...)

Entitizzle Z: Okay, good.

Potty Animals
Afta seein Wade bein scared of playin tag wit Roy, Aloysius wondaz if there be a suttin' Wade can't be scared of, givin Orson a idea. Orson drops some lyrics ta Wade they'd like ta potty train his ass n' his bangin erection is what tha fuck you might have guessed it is. Will Orson n' hommies be able ta teach Wade ta use tha toilet instead of goin ta tha toilet behind trees?

Farmer Sploshy
Da episode starts wit Sploshy lookin at a funky-ass book bout tha farm fo' realz. Afta Reg explains dat tha hoopty up in her book be a tractor, she pretendz dat her ass is rollin a tractor, which persuades her ta wish dat she lived on a gangbangin' farm, transportin her there as a gangbangin' farma n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch is then confronted by Finbar tha sheepdog fo' leavin tha gate open n' causin Terence tha sheep ta escape. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sploshy then findz Terence yo, but her tractor’s noise accidentally scares his ass away fo' realz. Afta Sploshy nearly hits Reg tha donkey wit her tractor, Reg requests Sploshy ta git hay fo' his bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Sploshy then meets up wit Amelia tha chicken, whoz ass has just laid her eggs. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sploshy puts tha eggs up in her traila yo, but destroys dem while driving. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Shortly after, a horny Winona tha piglet asks Sploshy ta be fed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Sploshy then meets up wit Tubb tha cow, whoz ass wants Sploshy ta git his crazy-ass milk. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Soon after, Finbar drops some lyrics ta Sploshy ta shear Terence’s wool coat, wit tha other farm muthafuckas confrontin Sploshy fo' neglectin her duties. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sploshy then apologizes n' proceedz ta care fo' tha muthafuckas yo, but reverses her wish when she forgets ta shut tha gate. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sploshy then offers ta help Reg put a cold-ass lil cotton sheep back up in its pen, just up in time fo' Benjie n' Sis ta arrive fo' they bath.

Pen
Pen is considered one of tha "cool" characters, n' is phat playaz wit Eraser, Blocky, n' Snowbizzle. Kick dat shit! But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat unlike them, Pen is mo' optimistic n' sensible, n' has his sickr moments mo' often than them; a example is when Firey allows Pen n' his cold-ass three playaz tha fuck into Dream Island, Pen is tha only one whoz ass props his muthafuckin ass fo' realz. A mo' subtle example is whenever tha eliminated contestants voted fo' mah playas but Leafy ta win Dream Island, Pen is tha only one outta his wild lil' playaz whoz ass didn’t slap dem fo' it yo. Dude tendz ta be sickr than his wild lil' playas, as two done been shown ta trip off murderin other contestants, while tha other one seemingly do not care much bout other people.

Retasu Midorikawa
Retasu a thugged-out dope but shy n' timid girl. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch is straight-up polite n' always speaks formally, even ta her playaz n' crew fo' realz. Afta befriendin Ichigo n' Minto, da hoe becomes mo' confident. Retasu do not like ta git involved up in fights unless it will prevent her playaz from bein harmed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!  

The USSR
Da Union of Soviet Socialist Republics[b] (USSR),[c] commonly known as tha Soviet Union,[d] was a hoodist state up in Eurasia dat existed from 30 December 1922 ta 26 December 1991.[10] Nominally a union of multiple nationistic Soviet republics,[e] its posse n' economizzle was highly centralized. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da ghetto was a one-party state, governed by tha Communist Jam wit Moscow as its capital up in its phattest republic, tha Russian Soviet Federatizzle Socialist Rehood (Russian SFSR). Other major urban centres was Leningrad, Kiev, Minsk, Alma-Ata, n' Novosibirsk.

Extendin across tha entirety of Uptown Asia n' much of Eastside Europe, tha Soviet Union had spanned eleven time units n' incorporated a wide range of environments n' landforms. Boy it's gettin hot, yes indeed it is. Counter-clockwise from northwest ta southeast, tha Soviet Union shared land bordaz wit Norway, Finland, Poland, Czechoslovakia, Hungary, Romania, Turkey, Iran, Afghanistan, China, Mongolia, n' Uptown Korea. Well shiiiit, it shared its maritime bordaz wit Japan by tha Sea of Okhotsk n' tha US state of Alaska across tha Berin Strait. With a area of 22,402,200 square kilometres (8,649,500 sq mi), tha Soviet Union was tha phattest ghetto up in tha ghetto by area, coverin mo' than one-eighth of tha Earthz inhabited land area,[11][12][13] n' tha third most populous, wit over 288 mazillion playas az of 1989, wit 80% of tha population livin up in tha westsideern, European part of tha ghetto.

Da Soviet Union had its roots up in tha October Revolution of 1917, when tha Bolsheviks hustled by Vladimir Lenin overthrew tha Russian Provisionizzle Posse which had replaced Tsar Nicholas Pt II durin Ghetto Battle I. In 1922, tha Soviet Union was formed by tha Treaty on tha Creation of tha USSR which legalized tha unification of tha Russian, Transcaucasian, Ukrainian n' Byelorussian republics dat had occurred from 1918. Peepin Leninz dirtnap up in 1924 n' a funky-ass brief juice struggle, Joseph Stalin came ta juice up in tha mid-1920s. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Stalin committed tha statez ideologizzle ta Marxism-Leninizzle (which his schmoooove ass pimped) n' constructed a cold-ass lil command economizzle which hustled ta a period of rapid industrialization n' collectivization. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Durin dis period of totalitarian rule, ballistical paranoia fermented n' tha late-1930s Great Purge removed Stalinz opponents within n' outside of tha jam via arbitrary arrests n' persecutionz of nuff people, resultin up in over 600,000 dirtnaps.[14] Suppression of ballistical muthafuckas n' forced labor was carried up by Stalinz posse. In 1933, a major famine dat became known as tha Holodomor up in Soviet Ukraine struck multiple Soviet grain-growin regions, causin tha dirtnapz of some 3 ta 7 mazillion people.[15]

In August 1939, minutes before tha start of Ghetto Battle Pt II, tha Soviets signed tha Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact agreein ta non-aggression wit Germany, afta which tha two ghettos invaded Poland up in September 1939. In June 1941, tha pact collapsed as Germany turned ta battle tha Soviet Union, openin tha phattest n' bloodiest theatre of war since back up in tha day. It make me wanna hollar playa! Soviet war casualtizzles accounted fo' tha highest proportion of tha conflict up in tha effort of acquirin tha upper hand over Axis forces at intense battlez like fuckin Stalingrad n' Kursk. Da territories overtaken by tha Red Army became satellite statez of tha Soviet Union n' tha postwar division of Europe tha fuck into capitalist n' communist halves would lead ta increased tensions wit tha West, hustled by tha United Hoodz of America.

Da Cold Battle emerged by 1947 as tha Eastside Bloc, united under tha Warsaw Pact up in 1955, confronted tha Westside Bloc, united under NATO up in 1949. On 5 March 1953, Stalin took a dirt nap n' was eventually succeeded by Nikita Khrushchev, whoz ass up in 1956 denounced Stalin n' fuckin started tha de-Stalinization of Soviet society all up in tha Khrushchev Thaw. Da Soviet Union took a early lead up in tha Space Race, wit tha straight-up original gangsta artificial satellite, tha straight-up original gangsta human spaceflight, n' successfully launched tha straight-up original gangsta n' so far tha only probe ta hood Venus. Dissatisfied wit Khrushchevz policies, tha Communist Partyz conservatizzle win hustled a cold-ass lil coup d'etat against Khrushchev up in 1964, on tha fuckin' down-lowly oustin his ass without any bloodshed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! In tha early 1970s, there was a funky-ass brief detente of relations wit tha United Hoodz yo, but tensions resumed wit tha Soviet-Afghan Battle up in 1979. In tha mid-1980s, tha last Soviet premier, Mikhail Gorbachev, sought ta reform n' liberalize tha economizzle all up in his thugged-out lil' policiez of glasnost (openness) n' perestroika (restructuring). Under Gorbachev, tha role of tha Communist Jam up in governin tha state was removed from tha constipation, causin a surge of severe ballistical instabilitizzle ta set in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. In 1989 Soviet satellite states up in Eastside Europe overthrew they respectizzle communist posses.

With tha rise of phat nationalist n' separatist movements inside tha union republics, Gorbachev tried ta avert a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dissolution of tha Soviet Union. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. A March 1991 referendum, boycotted by some republics, resulted up in a majoritizzle of participatin playa hatas votin up in favor of preservin tha union as a renewed federation. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Gorbachevz juice was pimped outly diminished afta Russian Prezzy Boris Yeltsin played a high-profile role up in facin down a abortizzle August 1991 coup d'etat attempted by Communist Jam hardliners. On 25 December 1991, Gorbachev resigned, n' on 26 December 1991, tha Supreme Soviet of tha Soviet Union kicked it wit n' formally dissolved tha Soviet Union, thereby endin tha Cold War, n' tha remainin twelve constituent republics emerged as independent post-Soviet states. Da Russian Federation-formerly tha Russian SFSR-assumed tha Soviet Unionz muthafuckin rights n' obligations n' is recognized as tha successor state of tha Soviet Union.[16][17][18] In summin up tha internationistic ramificationz of these events, Vladislav Zubok stated: "Da collapse of tha Soviet empire was a event of epochal geopolitical, military, ideological n' economic significance".[19]

Throughout its existence, tha Soviet Union was a powerhouse of nuff dope technological achievements n' innovationz of tha 20th century, includin tha ghettoz first human-made satellite n' tha launchin of tha straight-up original gangsta humans up in space. Da ghetto had tha ghettoz second phattest economizzle n' tha phattest standin military up in tha ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass.[20][21][22] Da Soviet Union was recognized as one of tha five nuclear weapons states n' possessed tha phattest stockpile of weaponz of mass destruction.[23] Dat shiznit was a gangbangin' foundin permanent gangmember of tha United Nations Securitizzle Council as well as a gangmember of tha Organization fo' Securitizzle n' Co-operation up in Europe (OSCE), tha Ghetto Federation of Trade Unions (WFTU) n' tha leadin gangmember of tha Council fo' Mutual Economic Assistizzle (CMEA) n' tha Warsaw Pact.

Da Nightmare Begins
Da Irkens is a alien race dat desire universal domination. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Their leaders, Almighty Tallest Red n' Purple, have just begun assignin tha Invadaz they missions fo' Operation Impendin Doom Pt II up in tha Convention Hall hood, Conventia (Da Great Assigning). But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat da most thugged-out dreaded n' inhyped Irken eva ta live, Zim, arrives up in hopez of gettin a assignment of his own. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Zim was banished from tha Irken Empire n' busted ta work on Foodcourtia when his thugged-out lil' punk-ass blew up tha other Invadaz durin Operation Impendin Doom I. "Quitting" his banishment once dat schmoooove muthafucka hears bout tha freshly smoked up Operation, Zim begs fo' a assignment n' tha Tallest reluctantly bust his ass ta a hood outside tha reachez of tha Empire of no real interest ta tha Irkens, which turns up ta be Ghetto fo' realz. Afta receivin a skankyly-constructed SIR Unit made outta garbage named GIR, Zim begins his fuckin long trip ta his "mission". Little do he know, however, dat a Ghetto lil pimp has tuned tha fuck into tha meetin on Conventia, n' is now alert fo' a alien invasion. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. The-Nightmare-Begins-Part-Two Zimz first dizzle at Skool. Six months later, Zim finally arrives on a hood called Ghetto yo. Dude landz n' creates a human disguise fo' his dirty ass, n' a thugged-out dawg costume fo' GIR. Zim then sketches a picture of a "normal" human doggy deninto a cold-ass lil capsule wit a thugged-out drill, which bores tha fuck into tha Ghetto n' creates a big-ass underground base, wakin up tha entire neighbourhood up in tha process. Zim then entas his freshly smoked up base n' searches fo' a place ta learn bout tha weaknessez of tha hood. Ultimately, da ruffneck decides ta join tha local Skool yo. His disguise fools all of tha hustlas, except Dib, whoz ass tries ta prove ta his classmates dat Zim be a alien. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat they don't believe him, so Dib attempts ta capture Zim his dirty ass wit Alien Sleep Cuffs fo' realz. Afta a lengthy chase, Zim calls GIR n' has his ass take his ass back ta tha base. But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat GIR leaves a trail of smoke behind dat Dib bigs up. Zim hides inside his house, while Dib standz outside n' vows ta expose Zim fo' tha alien menace dat he is. But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat tha robotic gnomes up in Zimz front yard fuck wit Dibz cuffs up in tha middle of his bangin rant. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Slightly discouraged, Dib decides ta return home yo, but say dat da thug is ghon be back. Zim, unconcerned bout tha human, dusts his dirty ass off, n' contacts tha Almighty Tallest (who is shocked dat he is still kickin it), informin dem dat he is hustlin hard on his crazy-ass mission n' would take care of tha humans before tha armada even reached tha hood fo' realz. As tha transmission ends, tha two Tallest peep each other wit dread up in they eyes.

The 98 Words We Don't Say

 * Bender: [spoken] Well, well, well! [Leela gasps] Yo ass didn't make up dat TV show! Yo ass just freestyled down what tha fuck these space twerps holla'd!
 * Leela: [spoken] Oh, hell.
 * [the Humplings gasp]
 * Supa-Hoe Num Num: [spoken] Leela holla'd a Rumbledy-Hump no-no!
 * [a waltz begins playing]
 * Da Humplings: Sometimes when we mad,
 * We say lyrics dat is bad.
 * [Da show goes ta a cold-ass lil commercial break. Return from commercial ta reveal dat tha Humplings is still rappin]
 * ...And poo-poo n' pee-pee n' ding-a-ling n' gay fo' realz.
 * Those is tha 98 lyrics our phat asses don't say!
 * [Da Humplings cheer afta finally finishin tha song]

The Loud House Season 1 Episode 30, "Save the Date"
At school, Lincoln findz a sloppy joe up in his baggy-ass pants wit a ludd note from Ronnie Anne yo. His classmates tease him, n' accuse his ass of bein up in ludd wit her yo, but Lincoln asserts dat da ruffneck don't like her dat way n' asserts why da ruffneck don't. Unfortunately, Ronnie Anne was behind his ass n' her big-ass booty storms off, obviously mad salty bout what tha fuck da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Notin how tha fuck upset she looked, Clyde points up dat Lincoln may have straight-up hurt her vibe yo, but Lincoln figures dat she'll git over dat shit.

But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat when Lincoln gets home from school, a livid n' heartbroken Lori informs his ass dat he made Ronnie Anne cry, which up in turn hustled ta Bobby breakin up wit her--when Lincoln expresses mad drama as ta why Bobby would care, Lori reveals dat Ronnie Anne is Bobbyz lil sister, n' addz dat Bobby holla'd at Lori dat his schmoooove ass can't brang his dirty ass ta go up wit one of mah thugs whoz related ta one of mah thugs whoz ass hurt one of mah thugs he related ta (in dis case, his sister). Fortunately, Lori was able ta arrange a thugged-out double date between her muthafuckin ass, Lincoln, Bobby n' Ronnie Anne at a French/Mexican-fusion restaurant up in tha hopez of patchin thangs up--Lincoln (very reluctantly) goes along wit it, afta Lori explains dat Bobby will only git back together wit her if da perved-out muthafucka sees Lincoln bein sick ta his sista n' apologizin fo' what tha fuck da perved-out muthafucka holla'd up in person.

At tha restaurant, tha two couplez attempt ta connect while Clyde, disguised as a waiter, repeatedly tries ta humiliate Bobby n' make his crazy-ass move on Lori. Lata on, Lincoln n' Ronnie Anne manage ta find some common ground by poppin' off bout how tha fuck embarrassin they olda siblings are. When Bobby sees they siblings gettin along, dat schmoooove muthafucka happily rekindlez his bangin relationshizzle wit Lori. But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat Lincoln sees his classmates is also all up in tha restaurant n'  drops some lyrics ta Clyde ta help his ass ta git his ass outta tha restaurant without dem seein his ass smokin da sticky-icky-icky wit Ronnie Anne.

Their plan ta git up fails n' Lincolnz classmates accuse his ass of bein on a thugged-out date wit Ronnie Anne. To save face, Lincoln asserts dat he not on a thugged-out date n' disses her like before. Once again, Ronnie Anne overhears Lincolnz disses n' runs off up in tears again, makin Bobby break up wit Lori again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Feelin guilty, Lincoln tries ta show Ronnie Anne da ruffneck do care by humpin' her up in tha middle of tha restaurant fo' all ta see, much ta tha delight of they olda siblings whoz ass immediately git back together (much ta Clydez annoyance).

Da next dizzle at school, Lincoln is tha booty of his classmates' jokes fo' his thugged-out lil' hood display of affection but his schmoooove ass chizzlez ta accept it cuz he feels itz betta than ruinin Lori n' Bobbyz relationshizzle. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly, Ronnie Anne shows up, slaps his ass fo' tha lick n' breaks up wit him, causin his classmates ta stop they teasin n' offer his ass they sympathies yo. Dude then findz a note from Ronnie Anne sayin dat tha break up was fake ta git dem ta stop makin funk of him, suttin' dat Lincoln truly appreciates. Clyde comes by, upset bout not smokin da sticky-icky-icky wit Lori yo, but cheers his dirty ass up by ridin' dirty wit tha Mexican musical muthafuckas n' Lincoln joins up in as well n' both shout up "Ole!" as tha episode ends.

The Loud House Season 1 Episode 45, "One of the Boys"
Lincoln n' Clyde is lookin all up in tha fridge fo' suttin' ta smoke fo' realz. Afta findin a jar of peanut butter, Lincoln sticks his wild lil' finger up in tha peanut butter, n' sticks it up in his crazy-ass grill yo. Dude then attempts ta stick tha same finger back tha fuck into tha jar yo, but Lola notices this, n' scoldz Lincoln, spittin some lyrics ta his ass ta have some class. Luan arrives wit Mista Muthafuckin Coconuts ta serve up a joke when suddenly, Lincoln burps up in front of Luan, causin her ta tell a joke dat jabs at Lincoln. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. When Lincoln bitches dat game up in tha Loud Doggy Den be always like dis (followed by seriez of flashbacks showin tha thangz of livin wit sisters, like fuckin a long-ass waitin time ta bust a funky-ass bathroom, constant gang ups on his ass ta make his ass look phat up in front of Ronnie Anne, rejectin his scamz of where ta go fo' fun, n' optin ta git all up in tha mall instead, n' givin Lincoln massive intensive care just cuz he gots a minor cramp), da thug wishes dat dat schmoooove muthafucka had ten brothers instead of ten sisters.

That night, Lisa, whoz ass took what tha fuck Lincoln holla'd tha fuck into consideration, has done cooked up a peep dat can cook up a portal dat will transhiznit Lincoln tha fuck into tha ghetto of his fuckin lil' dreams. Boy it's gettin hot, yes indeed it is. Lincoln takes tha peep it, n' Lisa warns his ass dat he need ta return back ta his original gangsta ghetto within 24 hours, or else he'll be stuck up in tha freshly smoked up dimension forever n' shit. With dat up in mind, Lincoln jumps in.

Lincoln landz up in tha hallway yo, but don't peep any noticeable chizzles. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly, tha sistas (who is now thugs) exit they rooms. Boy it's gettin hot, yes indeed it is. Lincoln is ecstatic at dis n' ta his surprise, they all wanna git all up in Dairyland (with tha brothers sayin dat dat shiznit was Lincolnz idea) fo' realz. Afta they trip, they go over ta Gus' Game n' Grub ta trip off pizzy. They arrive back home where they greet they muthafathas (who is bustin inverted clothes) n' quickly dog-pile on Dad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Lincoln discovers dat what tha fuck used ta be his bedroom be a cold-ass lil closet n' his bed is up in Lynn n' Lars' (Lynn n' Lucy's) bedroom. Lincoln is havin such a gangbangin' funk time up in dis dimension, dat da ruffneck decides ta stay up in it forever, n' tosses tha peep away.

Da next day, Lincoln wakes up n' receives two wack punches: one from Lynn (for wakin his ass up) n' one from Lars (for scratchin his coffin). Lincoln attempts ta use tha bathroom yo, but is revealed ta be a pigsty ta his horror. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Luke (Luna), havin been woken up from Lincolnz complaining, agrees dat tha bathroom is messy n' say dat he n' Lincoln should clean dat shit. But Lukez method of "cleaning" involves his ass rockin Lincolnz head ta scrub tha toilet. Lincoln strutts up n' is mocked by his brothers cuz of all dis bullshit yo. Dude trips n' hurts his cold-ass thumb, n' instead of consolin him, Loni (Leni)  drops some lyrics ta his ass ta shake it off instead. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Lincoln tries ta convince Leon (Lily) ta lick his "boo-boo" ta make it mo' betta yo, but instead respondz by bitin his cold-ass thumb, causin tha brothers ta laugh even harder.

Later, while gettin locked n loaded fo' a thugged-out date wit Ronnie Anne, Lincoln sees Leif n' Lexx (Lana n' Lola) bustin his shirts, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. They then inform his ass dat cuz they didn't have any clean shirts all up in tha moment, they decided ta wear his shirts instead, much ta his thugged-out annoyance. Da brothers then proceed ta make funk of his ass fo' his bangin relationshizzle wit Ronnie Anne. Lane (Luan) pulls Lincolnz baggy-ass pants up ta his chest, n' messes wit his hair, buggin his ass even mo' n' mo' n' mo'. Da brothers then dog-pile onto his ass before givin his ass a "Loud House-style Dutch oven."

Lincoln, havin second thoughts livin up in dis ghetto, decides ta head back ta his own ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! With five minutes left on tha clock, Lincoln looks all up in tha garbage can where tha pimpin' muthafucka threw tha peep away yo, but ta his horror, tha peep is gone. Well shiiiit, it turns up dat Lexx found it n' decides ta play "Keep Away" wit tha peep it, ta which tha nine other brothers join in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Lincoln tricks his brothers tha fuck into dog-pilin on Dad again n' again n' again n' uses dat distraction ta take tha peep back. With all dem secondz left on tha clock, Lincoln opens a portal n' jumps up in (but not before Lynn pulls down his baggy-ass pants his ass one last time).

Lincoln falls all up in tha portal n' tha fuck into a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dimension dat he initially believes is his original gangsta ghetto (even findin Bun-Bun aiiight). Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly, tha ten brothers burst tha fuck into his bangin room, makin Lincoln be thinkin dat da ruffneck didn't escape tha brothers dimension. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat tha brothers mysteriously have lookz of concern on they faces n' is askin his ass if he aiiight instead of bullyin his muthafuckin ass. When Lincoln expresses mad drama as ta why tha brothers is seemingly bein so sick ta him, Loni asks, "Want our asses ta stay until you fall asleep, Linka?" Realizin dat schmoooove muthafucka has been called a girlz name, "Lincoln" realizes dat his bangin room be all girly, n' upon seein his bangin reflection on tha mirror, "Lincoln" soon realizes dat he up in tha wack dimension. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Dat punk now up in a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dimension where every last muthafuckin thang is tha opposite: he now tha only sista up in tha crew, named Linka, up in a cold-ass lil crew wit ten brothers. This revelation causes Linka ta scream loudly.

Suddenly, Lincoln wakes up, realizin dat tha entire ordeal was just a nightmare. Da sisters, havin been alarmed by they brotherz screaming, barge tha fuck into his bangin room, n' ask if he aiiight. Lincoln assures dem dat he fine n' expresses his cold-ass thankfulnizz on havin sistas instead of brothers (confusin his sistas until his schmoooove ass fronts dat da thug was poppin' off bout nuns). When Leni findz a peep on tha floor n' asks Lincoln if he knows whoz ass it belongs to, Lincoln, mistakin it fo' tha portal peep from his fuckin lil' dream, quickly destroys dat shit. But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat it turns up tha peep straight-up belonged ta Lori who, naturally, is mad dat her brutha fo' beatin tha livin shiznit outta it, fronts dat Lincolnz goin ta pay fo' it fo' realz. At first, tha pimpin' muthafucka be thinkin dis means dat Loriz goin ta give his ass a swirly yo, but she explains dat she means he'll literally pay fo' it (as in, loot her a freshly smoked up peep wit his own scrilla).

Afta his sistas leave his bangin room, Lincoln  drops some lyrics ta tha viewers dat he loves his sistas fo' whoz ass they are, n' is glad dat his sistas aint a god damn thang like his brothers. But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat Lynn comes back, n' pantses Lincoln, causin his ass ta bugginly remark "except fo' Lynn."

The Loud House Season 2 Episode 36, "Lynner Takes All"
It aint nuthin but game night all up in tha Loud House, n' Lincoln explains ta tha viewers dat he n' his sistas dread dis day, cuz Lynn always wins every last muthafuckin game they play, n' has tha need ta gloat bout it up in front of everyonez faces. When tha siblings gather up in tha dinin room, Lil' Willy suggests dat they play Go Fish fo' realz. As they play tha game, Lynn manages ta win, n' begins showboatin up in front of playas faces, which is made worse when Lynn announces dat dis was her 300th win up in a row. When Lynn blasts off some confetti (which is made up of tha siblings' homework), tha siblings declare dat they now sick n' pissed wit Lynn constantly ballin and/or gloating. Lincoln suggests dat they play a game dat Lynn has no experience in, since she'll most likely lose. Just when tha siblings start ta admit dat Lynn can't be stopped, Lisa suggests dat they play a game dat requires all of dem ta go against Lynn. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Lisa presents tha game dat freaky freaky biatch has up in mind: "Da Settlaz of Cat-Land". Da objectizzle is ta build as nuff structures as possible, which can only be done by formin alliances. If no one sides wit Lynn, her ass is shizzle ta lose. Later, tha siblings n' Lynn play tha game, n' tha siblings end up bein up in first place, while Lynn endz up in second. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da siblings (sans Lynn) leave tha dinin area, n' conclude dat Lynn should finally stop wit tha competitiveness, n' excessive gloating.
 * Da first game they play is called "Pretty, Pretty Pageant Biatch", which is suggested by Lola. Lynn is hesitant ta play it yo, but decides ta play it ta stay tha fuck away from admittin loss fo' realz. As they play tha game, Lola appears ta be ballin yo, but just before Lola can declare victory, Lynn readz up in tha rule book dat if you git 10s on all three dice at once, you git a instant win. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Lynn grabs tha dice, spits on them, n' begins ta shake dem wild-ass muthafuckas. Just when Lisa say dat tha chancez of gettin 10s on all three dice is highly unlikely, Lynn endz up winning, cuz of all three dice displayin 10s, causin Lola ta faint.
 * Lana suggests "Plumbin Pro", a game dat requires pullin shit up without touchin tha sides. Lynn tries ta grab one of tha shit yo, but she endz up touchin tha wall, shockin her n' shit. Because of this, Lynn has only one mo' chance, or else she'll lose. Lynn strutts outta tha house, n' begin bustin some exercises ta boost her motivation. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch runs back in, n' successfully pulls up all of tha shit from tha toilet, resultin up in another victory.
 * Lincoln suggests dat she play tha Ace Savvy trivia game, since Lynn has no experience up in Ace Savvy at all. But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat when he n' Lynn play tha game, Lincoln has gotten every last muthafuckin question wrong, cuz Lynn keeps makin Lincoln lose his crazy-ass mojo by spittin some lyrics ta his ass dat he might choke when da perved-out muthafucka say a answer n' shit. When axed "Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is Ace Savvyz sidekick?", Lincoln buzzes in, knowin tha answer n' shit. But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat Lynn psyches his ass up by sayin dat it could be a trick question. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Under stress, Lincoln lyrics "Massachusetts", n' Lynn lyrics "One-Eyed Jack", once again n' again n' again givin Lynn tha victory.

Da next day, however, Lynn exhibits a mo' obnoxious side of her gloating, n' is startin ta become highly competitive, as da hoe begins ta chug a cold-ass lil carton of gin n juice fasta than Lincoln, run up tha stairs fasta than Leni, build a talla wooden block structure than Lily, create a explosion wit chemicals before Lisa (even though dat wasn't Lisaz intention), wash dishes fasta than Lucy, n' brush her teeth fasta than Lola. Not only do Lynn do dis ta just her siblings individually yo, but all of dem at once, sayin dat thugged-out biiiatch can chill like a pimp fasta than them, snore louder than them, n' be tha straight-up original gangsta ta wake up. Da siblings attempt ta git away from Lynn by goin on a laid back drive, unfortunately, Lynn chases afta dem on her bike, showin dat dat thugged-out biiiatch can go fasta than dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

At night, tha siblings hold a meeting, where they admit dat whoopin Lynn at "Da Settlaz of Cat-Land" was a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shitty-ass move. Lincoln suggests dat they hold a rematch yo, but dis time, they'll throw tha game (meanin intentionally lose), so dat Lynn will win, n' hope it'll stop wit tha obnoxious gloating. Lynn accepts tha rematch, n' tha siblings begin tha game again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. As they play, tha siblings attempt ta make Lynn win by givin her any card she requests, placin a valuable card up in tha card pile fo' her ta pick up, n' chizzle tha side of tha take a thugged-out dirtnap ta a higher number n' shit. Da plan appears ta be working, when suddenly, Leni grabs tha game board, n' tosses it up tha window, apparently takin Lincolnz lyrics of "throwin tha game" too literally.

With tha plan revealed, Lynn asks her siblings why they wanted ta lose. Lincoln replies dat they wanted ta lose so dat thugged-out biiiatch can win, up in hopes dat biiiiatch would stop bein competitive. Lynn say dat dat biiiiatch was bein competitizzle cuz dat biiiiatch wanted ta regain her edge afta losing. Lisa n' Luna further explain dat tha reason she lost was cuz of tha fact dat all of tha siblings crewed up n' was goin against her, cuz afta 300 wins, they couldn't take no mo' of her gloating. With all dis shiznit, Lynn apologizes ta her siblings fo' tha way she acted, n' promises dat if they give her another chance, she'll stop bein a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shitty-ass balla n' sore weak-ass muthafucka, n' start bein a phat sport, ta which tha siblings smoke to.

Later, Lynn wins a cold-ass lil card game, n' instead of rubbin her victory up in front of playas faces, dat dunkadelic hoe  drops some lyrics ta dem "phat game", n' leaves. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch headz outside, n' strutts over ta tha driveway, where her big-ass booty suddenly begins showboating. Da other siblings look up tha window, n' despite Lynn showboatin as usual, they fine wit it, cuz as Lincoln says, "At least it aint ta our faces."

The Loud House Season 4 Episode 1, "Friended! with the Casagrandes"
At Great Lakes City, Ronnie Anne is prepared ta spend her dizzle all up in tha park ta do some skateboardin game. Rosa also announces dat tha crib above be available, n' as manager of tha building, dat freaky freaky biatch has ta advertise fo' it fo' realz. Afta greetin her crew (while also assistin dem a funky-ass bit), Ronnie Anne headz out. When Ronnie Anne asks her local bangin' dawg vendor ta give her a funky-ass bangin' dawg wit tha works (at 9 AM), a hoe behind her asks fo' tha same. Further down tha sidewalk, Ronnie Anne attempts ta jump over a gangbangin' fire hydrant n' succeeds. Da hoe from before meets up again, n' asks Ronnie Anne if dat thugged-out biiiatch can try, n' she agrees. But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat when bustin tha trick, she endz up rollin backwardz n' nearly crashes tha fuck into a statue. When Ronnie Anne asks tha hoe if dat freaky freaky biatch has eva skateboarded before, tha hoe say dat dat freaky freaky biatch aint yo, but has just recently moved here n' wants ta try every last muthafuckin thang new. Fascinated wit her enthusiasm, Ronnie Anne introduces her muthafuckin ass, n' tha hoe introduces her muthafuckin ass as Sid Chang.

While feedin tha pigeons piecez of bangin' dog, Ronnie Anne n' Sid exchange nuff muthafuckin piecez of underground shiznit, like how tha fuck Ronnie Anne is from Royal Woodz n' her daddy lives up in Peru, while Sidz mutha be a zoologist while her daddy works as a subway conductor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. When Sid gets a text from her mutha sayin dat her dope ass done wit something, she leaves.

Sometime later, Ronnie Anne exits tha bodega n' discovers Sid chillin on tha front stepz of tha crib, sayin dat her crew is thankin bout on livin here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Realizin dat they might be potential neighbors, Ronnie Anne pleadz wit Rosa ta give tha crib ta tha Changs yo, but Rosa say dat her dope ass aint gots tha juice ta do so, since her dope ass don't own tha building. Ronnie Anne  drops some lyrics ta her cousins bout tha Changs, n' they all express gratitude wit them, since each one of dem has a quirk dat they like. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Seein how tha fuck they all express tha same ol' dirty desire fo' tha Changs ta live up in tha crib, Ronnie Anne suggests dat they try ta dissuade any potential tenants from seein tha crib. This ranges from Ronnie Anne n' Carlota goin round hood ta take down any flyers dat Rosa put up, Bobby n' Carl rollin tenants away all up in nuff muthafuckin tactics n' CJ keepin Rosa distracted.

When Rosa discovers dat no one has come ta peep tha crib, she attempts ta booty-call tha buildin baller, Mista Muthafuckin Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Scully, ta consider givin tha crib ta tha Changs yo, but Mista Muthafuckin Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Scully calls her first, sayin dat da perved-out muthafucka bustin  one of mah thugs over ta peep tha crib, since he playaz wit them, much ta tha dismay of Ronnie Anne.

As tha lil playas start ta mope all up in tha fact dat they might not git tha Changs as they freshly smoked up neighbors cuz of tha playas Mista Muthafuckin Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Scully is bustin  over, Ronnie Anne comes up wit a freshly smoked up plan: they'll make tha crib look as shitty as possible n' she'll show dem round instead of Rosa.

Then plan is set up in motion by Carl openin tha fridge, which catches Rosaz attention. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. When Carl hugs Rosa, da perved-out muthafucka sneakily takes tha crib keys outta her pocket n' handz it over ta Lalo, whoz ass then handz it over ta Ronnie Anne n' Sid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! When Carl passes up from smokin too much chicken, Carlota distracts Rosa by askin fo' a gangbangin' fortune readin ta peep if a funky-ass pimp she likes likes her back. In tha crib, Ronnie Anne n' Sid make tha room look as shitty as possible by paintin big-ass cracks n' holez on tha walls, gluin tha windows wide open, n' placin nuff muthafuckin stinky shit up in different roomz of tha crib. With they work done, CJ headz up ta another resident of tha building, Mrs. Kernicky, n' Ronnie Anne sneaks tha keys back tha fuck into Rosaz pocket fo' realz. At dat moment, tha playas Mista Muthafuckin Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Scully busted over, tha Reynolds, arrive ta tha crib, n' up in another effort ta distract her, Ronnie Anne n' Carlota fake dat Carl has gotten ill, n' Ronnie Anne offers ta show tha Reynoldz around.

Ronnie Anne shows Mista Muthafuckin n' Mrs. Reynoldz tha crib, n' is horrified at its dilapidated state. Da Reynoldz is further discouraged when they hear clog ridin' dirty upstairs (courtesy of CJ), they inabilitizzle ta close tha windows shut, tha amount of muthafuckas livin up in tha area n' how tha fuck tha bedrooms is above tha dumpsta area. When tha Reynoldz leave, Ronnie Anne lies ta Rosa by sayin dat tha Reynoldz weren't horny bout tha crib cuz tha buildin lacks a elevator. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly, just when tha lil playas n' Sid begin ta big-up at becomin neighbors, Mista Muthafuckin Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Scully arrives n'  drops some lyrics ta Rosa bout what tha fuck happened ta tha Reynolds. Mista Muthafuckin Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Scully, thankin dat Rosa aint takin care of tha crib, fires her as tha manager of tha building. This prompts Ronnie Anne ta confess bout her actions, sayin her dope ass did all dat shiznit fo' her playa wantin tha place.

Sometime later, as Ronnie Anne sulks up in her room n' possibly gettin punished fo' what tha fuck dat freaky freaky biatch had done, Maria n' Rosa enter, n' state while they is displeased wit Ronnie Annez actions, Rosa is glad dat her big-ass booty still gets ta keep her thang as manager, n' Maria  drops some lyrics ta Ronnie Anne dat she must undo all tha damage ta tha crib. Ronnie Anne promptly fixes up tha crib (with a lil help from Sergio) n' Rosa  drops some lyrics ta her ta come downstairs ta welcome tha freshly smoked up neighbors fo' realz. At tha entrance, a movin truck arrives, n' tha one chillin up in tha passenger seat is revealed ta be Sid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! When Ronnie Anne expresses mad drama bout why tha Changs is here, Mista Muthafuckin Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Scully explains dat da thug was moved by Ronnie Anne goin all up in so much shiznit fo' a gangbangin' playa, n' found a way ta fix both sides: dat schmoooove muthafucka had tha Reynoldz live up in another buildin he owns so dat tha Changs can live wit tha Santiagos, much ta Ronnie Anne n' Sidz happiness.

Greg Heffley
Greg Heffley is mischievous, lazy, paranoid, arrogant, n' dishonest yo. Dude is known ta become jealous doggystyle yo. Dude also tendz ta be a skanky playa, suttin' even he agrees wit yo. Dude don't like takin tha blame fo' wack events, n' attempts ta twist any thang his schmoooove ass can up in his wild lil' favor, so dat he may go up his "popularitizzle ladder." Despite all of these wack traits, dat schmoooove muthafucka has displayed a kinder side. Throughout tha series, Gregz schemes ta acquire scrilla n' popularitizzle always backfire yo. Dude also rides hard fo' playin vizzle games.

His dopest playa is Rowley Jefferson (they often git tha fuck into arguments). Rowley takes part up in Gregz schemes n' is sometimes a sucka of Gregz manipulation n' deception. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da two gotz a straight-up fucked up relationshizzle, as Greg sometimes takes advantage of Rowleyz phat nature, n' his own schemes fail cuz of Rowleyz foolishness, like fuckin Rowleyz "confession" ta tha vandalized wall. Rowleyz muthafathas, mostly his wild lil' father, view Greg as a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shitty-ass influence on they son. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. This is cuz Greg has a tendency fo' gettin his dirty ass n' Rowley tha fuck into shit. In 'Wreckin Ball', it is revealed dat Greg truly did gotz a soft spot fo' Rowley, as Greg cries when it is time ta say peace out ta his muthafuckin ass.

At school, Greg receives shitty grades, gets bullied, deals wit tha bullshitz of middle school, n' be always tryin ta git popularitizzle points up in order ta bust attention n' respect (though his thugged-out lil' plans ta do so often result up in either his own popularitizzle dropping, or unintentionally boostin Rowleyz popularity) fo' realz. At home, Greg has a mixed relationshizzle wit his crew, especially wit his younger brutha Manny, whoz ass is overly pampered n' protected by his thugged-out lil' muthafathas (particularly his crazy-ass mutha Susan) yo. His mutha tries ta devise ways fo' Greg n' his olda brutha Rodrick ta git along but which never work out. Gregz father, Frank, be annoyed by Gregz antics n' lazinizz n' tries ta make his ass mo' active. Greg has a love/hate relationshizzle wit his olda brother, Rodrick. Greg is often tormented n' bullied by Rodrick n' be also tha sucka of his thugged-out lil' pranks yet they do care fo' each other deep down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. In addition, dat schmoooove muthafucka has inherited nuff of Rodrickz traits (like fuckin laziness, big-ass ego, disdain fo' game, bein a trickster, etc.). In fact, nuff of Gregz mackdaddys dislike his ass cuz they originally had Rodrick as a hustla even though Gregz classroom behavior do not mirror Rodrick's.

A notable trait of Greg dat becomes mo' apparent as tha novels go on is his fuckin lack of logical n' critical thankin fo' realz. All dem his thugged-out actions is shown ta have no thought or consideration prior ta bein acted out, n' probably end up in disastrous repercussions. This is shown up in when da ruffneck delays his crew by dryin his sock afta steppin up in a slush puddle while headin ta a airport, n' lata burnin tha sock while attemptin ta dry dat shit. Greg also has been shown ta display constant forgetfulnizz as well as no linear thankin fo' realz. A phat example of dis is when his schmoooove ass constantly has ta remind his dirty ass ta put his socks before his Nikes afta a strang of incidents involvin his ass bustin tha opposite act.

Greg be a gangbangin' hustla of vizzle game n' comic books n' da perved-out muthafucka sees dem as talents, which annoys his wild lil' daddy Frank yo. His top billin gift is fo' cartoonin n' dry humor, evidenced by tha nuff comic strips dat schmoooove muthafucka has drawn.

Another characta trait of Greg is his thugged-out lil' paranoia, which sometimes seems ta git tha betta of his muthafuckin ass fo' realz. A notable example of dis is up in Cabin Fever, up in which he is worried dat his oldschool doll, Alfrendo, will come back ta haunt him, n' tha Gangstaz Scout doll dat he fears is straight-up followin his ass round before finally realizin it is Rodrick whoz ass is bustin it fo' realz. Another notable example is up in 'Wreckin Ball', when Gregs fears a imaginary monsta called 'Da Grout' n' locks his dirty ass up in his bangin room until his wild lil' daddy screws tha door out.

Greg rarely learns from his crazy-ass muthafuckin ill-fated mistakes n' continues ta scheme n' deal fo' his various goals. Because of dis n' his crazy-ass muthafuckin impulsive nature, he probably puts his dirty ass n' others up in shit, n' will often try ta find another thug ta take tha blame.

Neighborin Greg is his thugged-out awkward, unpopular n' eccentric schoolmate named Fregley, whose vast variety of odditizzles disgust n' befuddle dem round him, includin Greg, whoz ass tries ta distizzle his dirty ass from Fregley as much as possible. Though Greg detests tha fact dat he is next-door-neighbors wit Fregley, tha only time dat schmoooove muthafucka has eva shown interest up in acquirin thang wit Fregley is up in tha eighth book Hard Luck, where his thugged-out lil' punk-ass becomes playaz wit Fregley (though dis was straight-up ta Gregz advantage ta become popular).

Greg be also noted fo' havin nuff attractions ta hoes all up in tha series, most notably a hoe named Holly Hills, his classmate yo. His schemes probably fail up in tha hope of attractin hoes though cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce. One straight-up notable example is Da Third Wheel, where Greg attempts ta use Rowley as a wingman ta git his dirty ass a thugged-out date fo' tha upcomin Valentinez Dizzle dizzle yo. Dude succeedz up in obtainin tha chizzle ta take a hoe named Abigail ta tha dizzle yo, but Rowley, whoz ass tags along as a third wheel, hence tha name, proves ta be a funky-ass betta date than Greg all up in tha dance. This ultimately leadz ta Rowley n' Abigail becomin a cold-ass lil couple, settin tha stage fo' Hard Luck.

Greg has also been known ta be straight-up clumsy, as he forgets his homework, n' when da thug was eight, wet tha bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Despite his crazy-ass nuff flaws n' tha thangs they have landed his ass in, Greg can be caring, intelligent, courageous, comhorny n' thoughtful, n' has done a fuckin shitload of phat deedz ta prove this, like fuckin deceivin his classmates dat tha pimpin' muthafucka threw tha cheese away (to save Rowleyz reputation), helpin Rodrick complete his science project, etc. Greg also flossed unusual maturitizzle when his schmoooove ass chose ta conceal his fuckin late Meemawz diamond rang dat he found up in a Easta egg, not wantin ta peep his crew fight over it cuz it had not been willed ta mah playas.

Tubb the Pirate Script

 * (Peepin tha Rubbadubbers theme song, Tubb is rubbin his dirty ass wit his cotton swab while tha other Rubbadubbers play.)


 * Tubb: Ah! Oh, dis is tha game biaaatch! No worries, no cares, just, whoa! What was that, biatch? Ah! Finbar!


 * Finbar: Da mighty shark, arr, arr, arr, sipped silently all up in tha water, arr, arr, arr, searchin fo' suttin' ta eat. Da mighty shark, arr, arr, arr, smokes anything! Da mighty shark, arr, arr, arr, is scared of nothing.


 * Tubb: Boo!


 * Finbar: Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh!


 * Tubb: Da mighty shark is scared of Tubb! Boo!


 * Finbar: Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!


 * Tubb: (laughs)


 * Terence: Oh, careful, you gonna git mah tie wet!
 * (Reg is up in tha hallway wit a oversized piratez basebizzle cap on top of his muthafuckin ass.)


 * Reg: Where be I, biatch? Ah, oops muthafucka! Ah, ouch! Oh, dear playa! Git me outta here biaaatch! Oh, no! Oh, help!


 * Sploshy: Wha-hey. Whatz dat noise?


 * Tubb: I don't give a gangbangin' fuck.


 * Reg: Oops, ouch! Oh, dear playa! I can't peep a thang! Ouch! Ouch!


 * Tubb n' Finbar: It aint nuthin but a pirate biaaatch! Ahh!


 * Terence: Oh! Now mah tie is wet!


 * (Sploshy comes down ta Reg.)


 * Reg: Sploshy, is dat yo slick ass?


 * (Sploshy takes tha piratez basebizzle cap off of Reg.)


 * Sploshy: Reg, why is you bustin a piratez hat?


 * Reg: Benjie n' Sis dropped it on top of mah dirty ass. Then I couldn't se- I couldn't se- I was blinded.


 * Tubb: Aha! It aint nuthin but only Reg.


 * Finbar: Reg! Then there be a not a god damn thang ta be scared of, is there, arr, arr, Tubb?


 * Tubb: Scared, biatch? Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck was scared?


 * Finbar: Yo ass were.


 * Tubb: Me, biatch? Scared, biatch? Never?


 * Terence: Yes, da thug were, wasn't he, Terence?


 * Terence: Uh, well.


 * Tubb: Let me rap, dat I was not trippin like a muthafucka. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Startled maybe yo, but not trippin like a muthafucka. Yo ass was scared!


 * Finbar: So was you, nahmean biiiatch?


 * Tubb: Wasn't!


 * Finbar: Yo ass was biaaatch! Yo ass thought dat Reg, arr, arr, arr, arr, was a pirate!


 * Tubb: Did not!


 * Finbar: Did!


 * Tubb: Oh, if only I was a pirate. I'd show you dat I be never scared!


 * (Thought bubble transizzle ta sea. Tubb is bustin a piratez hat, n' he is on a pirate shizzle wit Sploshy, whoz ass be also bustin a piratez basebizzle cap n' has a funky-ass beard.)


 * Tubb: Yo dawwwwg! I be a pirate biaaatch! Swimmin'! Ha-har! I be Tubb tha Pirate.


 * (A storm comes in.)


 * Sploshy: It aint nuthin but a storm! Batten down tha hatches muthafucka! Trim tha sails!


 * Tubb: How tha fuck do you steer dis thang?


 * (Finbar is peeped bustin a red n' white striped hat.)


 * Finbar: I be a mighty shark, arr, arr, arr playa! I smoke anything, arr, arr, arr, arr!


 * Tubb: Ha! I aint scared of sharks; I be a pirate biaaatch! Har playa! Ahoy dawwwwg! Shiver mah timbers!


 * (Da storm stops.)


 * (Fades ta Tubb n' Sploshy sailin ta a island, wit Finbar following.)


 * Sploshy: Land ahoy!


 * (Da gang gets onto tha island, n' Sploshy falls off tha boat.)


 * Sploshy: Oof! Ow!


 * (Tubb gets off tha boat.)


 * Tubb: Where do you be thinkin we are?


 * Sploshy: On dry land, Captain.


 * Finbar: Careful, there might be freaky thangs on dat island.


 * Tubb: Ha! Nothang scares Tubb tha Pirate biaaatch! Ha-har, shiver mah timbers.


 * (Tubb unrolls his cold-ass treasure map.)


 * Sploshy: Look, Captain! This be a map of a island wit a treasure buried on dat shiznit son!


 * (Tubb readz tha map.)


 * Sploshy: I be thinkin dat dis is tha same ol' dirty island, n' thatz tha X dat marks tha spot!


 * Tubb: Yo ass mean there be a treasure buried under dat X?


 * Sploshy: Splish splash splosh! Therez only one way ta smoke up!


 * Tubb: Yeah! Letz dig up tha treasure!


 * Both: Ha-har!


 * (Cuts ta Finbar, whoz ass is by tha footprintz of some sort.)


 * Finbar: Excuse me, arr, arr playa! Yo muthafucka, arr, arr!
 * (Sploshy puts tha shovel back up in her hat, pulls up her telescope, n' looks at Finbar.)
 * Finbar: I be thinkin you should come n' peep this!
 * (Tubb n' Sploshy strutt over ta where Finbar is standing.)
 * Tubb: Mmm, footprints!
 * Finbar: Yes muthafucka! And they not mine biaaatch! I be a mighty shark, arr, arr, arr playa! I aint gots feet!
 * Sploshy: Neither do I!
 * (Tubb puts his wild lil' foot next ta tha footprint.)
 * Tubb: And they certainly not mine biaaatch! Okay, letz go dig up dat treasure!
 * Finbar: Wait a minute biaaatch! Don't you know what tha fuck dis means?
 * Tubb: Um, no.
 * Sploshy: What?
 * Finbar: We not ridin' solo. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Someone else is on dis island!
 * Tubb: So, biatch? They're pirates muthafucka! If mah playass here, well make dem strutt tha plank! Ha-ha-ha-har!
 * Reg: (offscreen) Stop!
 * (Everyone is shocked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Reg n' Terence pop up from behind tha X.)
 * Reg: Yo ass aint allowed on Rusty Redz island!
 * (Cuts ta Tubb.)
 * Tubb: Reg, what tha fuck is you bustin here?
 * Reg: I aint Reg, I be Rusty Red, da most thugged-out wicked pirate up in tha seven seas, n' dis is mah first mate, Terrible Terence.
 * Terence: Ha-har playa! (coughs) Oh, itz hard ta make dat sound without coughing.
 * Reg: We is tha shitty muthafuckas.
 * Tubb: Well, we tha phat muthafuckas, n' I be Tubb tha Pirate.
 * Sploshy: And I be Sploshybeard.
 * Tubb: We've come here ta dig up tha treasure.
 * Reg: Oh, no you haven't son! That treasure is ours, aint it, Terrible Terence?
 * Terence: On mah tooth it is! Ha-har playa! (coughs) I don't like that!
 * Reg: So go away.
 * Tubb: But we've only just gots here!
 * Finbar: Psst son! I be thinkin we should do as they say dawwwwg! Arr, arr, arr playa! They're freaky!
 * Reg: Go away, or we'll blast you wit cannonballs!
 * Tubb: Cannonballs, biatch? (laughs sarcastically) What cannonballs?
 * (Terence pulls up a cold-ass lil cannon from behind his muthafuckin ass.)
 * Terence: Da ones we goin ta fire outta dis cannon! (laughs)
 * Tubb: (gasps)
 * Sploshy: (moans)
 * Finbar: (screams)
 * Tubb: (chuckles) Letz git outta here.
 * Finbar: Yo dawwwwg! Wait fo' me, arr arr.
 * (Tubb n' Sploshy git on they shizzle n' Finbar emerges tha fuck into tha water.)
 * Finbar: I holla'd at you they was freaky.
 * Reg: Fire biaaatch! (Terence fires a cold-ass lil cannon.)
 * Tubb, Sploshy, n' Finbar: Woah!
 * Reg: Fire biaaatch! (Terence fires again.)
 * (Da cannon firin continues.)
 * Tubb: Oh, no! What if they hit tha boat, biatch? We bout ta sink.
 * Sploshy: And then we'll be smoked by sharks. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sharks smoke anything!
 * Tubb: I wish they ate cannonballs.
 * Finbar: Cannonballs, biatch? Arr fo' realz. Arr, arr. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. I wonder.
 * Reg: Fire biaaatch! (Terence fires cannonbizzle yo, but only ta have it smoked by Finbar.)
 * Finbar: (says "Arr" n' crunches tha cannonbizzle simultaneously) Mmmm, dirty!
 * Tubb: Did yo dirty ass peep that?
 * Reg: Fire biaaatch! (Terence continues firin tha cannonballs yo, but still, only fo' Finbar ta consume dem wild-ass muthafuckas.)
 * Sploshy: (giggles) Told you they smoke anything. (giggles)
 * Terence: Err, Rusty Red, we hustlin outta cannonballs.
 * Reg: Oh, no! (Dude throws his crutch at dem n' and then falls tha fuck into tha sand.)
 * Tubb: (chuckles) They're hustlin outta cannonballs.
 * Sploshy: Yay dawwwwg! (giggles)
 * Finbar: Aaah, dat means I won't git any dessert, arr, arr, arr.
 * Tubb: Eatin dem cannonballs was a swimmin/ thang ta do, Finbar.
 * Finbar: Swimmin', but mighty freaky.
 * Tubb: But thatz OK, mah playas gets scared sometimes; but you can still be brave, Fearless Finbar. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Pfft, if only I was as brave as you, biatch.
 * (Transizzle bubble sendz Tubb back ta tha bathroom.)
 * Tubb: Aww, I aint a pirate no mo'.
 * Amelia: Make way fo' Amelia, tha flyin submarine biaaatch! Neeeeooooowwww!!
 * Finbar: (screams all up in tha sight of Amelia.)
 * Amelia: Watch out!
 * Finbar: (screamin continues).
 * Tubb: What a sick dive, Amelia!
 * Amelia: (spits) Thanks, Tubb.
 * Finbar: I supposed you gonna make funk of me now fo' bein scared again.
 * Tubb: Fuck dat shit, I be not, Finbar fo' realz. And you know why?
 * Finbar: No. Why?
 * Tubb: Because mah playas gets scared, sometimes.
 * Finbar: Thatz right. (and then suddenly scares Tubb.) Boo!
 * (Tubb startlez up in fear).
 * Finbar: Even you, nahmean biiiatch, biatch? (laughs)
 * (then Tubb n' Finbar both laugh)
 * Finbar: Arr, arr, arr, arr, arr playa! (while laughing.)
 * Reg: Rubbadubbers muthafucka! Rubbadubbers muthafucka! It aint nuthin but Bathtime Scramble!
 * Terence: I be locked n loaded ta make bubbles!
 * Tubb: Swimmin'! (Sploshy gigglez up in tha background) It aint nuthin but bath time!

The AuSome Six!
Da first season of ''Da AuSome Six! ''be happenin' on a alternate timeline where travelin' time is possible, dawg. After those Karen biatches has taken over da world, aa group of playas called Project A.U.S.O.M was created. They was to send da six badass muthafuckas to restore da Six Values; Einstein, for da Knowledge, Newton, for da Wisdom, Mozart, for da Beauty, Jefferson, for da Liberty, Dickinson, for da Creativity, and Tesla, for da Curiosity. Upon joining da hood biatch, they each been git da special training and da six Badges. Da Badges are small-ass boring-ass colored flat-ass metal pieces half da size of yo hand biatch. They use dem for da whoopass powah called AuSome Mode and go kick some bad biatches's ass.

The Captain Needs to Go!
Afta ballin Contemptible Conradz coconut gin n juice drankin contest, Cap'n Madi straight-up needz a wee yo, but there be no bathrooms fo' miles, n' Cap'n Madi hates "going" up in nature, cuz of bein shy round others. Wolfie, Heymondbeard, n' Spud tha Brave Bibarel try ta help her search fo' privacy, while tryin ta stay tha fuck away from tha rivals. But will Cap'n Madi keep her trousers dry?

Script
(Da episode begins wit Madi drawin up in tha sand.)

Madi: Bored, bored, bored, there be a not a god damn thang ta do round here!

(Contemptible Conrad comes up ta Madi.)

Contemptible Conrad: Yo, Luxie!

Madi: Yo ass again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I aint up in tha vibe fo' yo' games, n' I never will be.

Contemptible Conrad: I'ma challenge you, nahmean biiiatch?

Madi: To what, Contemptible Conrad?

Contemptible Conrad: It aint nuthin but a cold-ass lil challenge of endurizzle biaaatch! A challenge of speed hommie! A challenge of will! A challenge of strength!

Madi: Can we please git dis over with, biatch? Madi tha Pirate has a game, too!

Contemptible Conrad: All right, fine biaaatch! We gonna peep how tha fuck much you can drank coconut milk.

Madi: Mmmm, I don't give a fuck if...

Wolfie: (o.s.) Psst, hey, don't take dat challenge!

Contemptible Conrad: Don't dig him! Accept mah challenge n' win it or you gonna live up in Throat Chop Hood! Do you want that?

Wolfie: This is gonna go straight-up straight-up bad.

Madi: Oh, you on, Connie, you on!

(Cut ta Madi n' Conrad standin up in front of a pile of coconuts yo. Heymondbeard, Stupid Savas, n' is up in front of them, actin as referees.)

Heymondbeard: Yo, tha coconut contest will begin! One...

Contemptible Conrad: Yo ass is so gonna wish you didn't do this.

Stupid Savas: Two...

Madi: I'ma wish that, like a muthafucka. When I kick yo', dat is!

Heymondbeard n' Savas: Three!

(Contemptible Conrad n' Madi begin drinking.)

Madi: Ah, dis is thirst-quenching!

Contemptible Conrad: This is what tha fuck you've got, biatch? I be already finished wit mah first one.

(Madi picks another coconut up n' dranks dat shit.)

Madi: Oh, yeah, biatch? Well, I be halfway done wit dis one!

(Contemptible Conrad n' Madi continue drankin coconut gin n juice up in a montage, until they just sit here, wit one coconut left.)

Heymondbeard: Oh mah hey, there be a only one coconut left.

Stupid Savas: If one of dem dranks it, they'll be tha balla.

Contemptible Conrad: Yo ass want a Throat Chop?

Madi: Not if I git mah paw on this.

(Madi n' Contemptible Conrad gotz a slap fight over tha coconut, until Madi Sparks Contemptible Conradz paw, causin Madi ta take tha coconut n' drank it, ballin tha contest.)

Spud: And Cap'n Madi is tha balla, by a single coconut!

Contemptible Conrad: Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!

(Contemptible Conrad throws his thugged-out lil' prosthetic leg all up in tha gang yo, but it hits Stupid Savas up in tha grill and then he falls tha fuck into tha sand.)

Heymondbeard: Yo, hey, hey dawwwwg! Great thang, Captain!

Spud: Golly, you number one!

Madi: Nifty dawwwwg! I be number one, Spud tha Brave!

(Madi starts bustin a thugged-out dizzle as her paws pressed against tha front of her muthafuckin ass n' dat thugged-out biiiatch crosses her legs.)

Madi: Which remindz mah dirty ass...

Heymondbeard: What?

Madi: I gotta go!

Heymondbeard: Go, biatch? Where to?

Madi: Come on, Dudebeard hommie! Yo ass know, go!

Heymondbeard: Yo, you can't go anywhere!

Wolfie: Heymondbeard, you dolt son! What dat dunkadelic hoe tryin ta rap  is dat she

Heymondbeard: Yo, now I know what tha fuck she means.

Madi: Is there any facilitizzles on tha island?

Spud: Sure, M.! Golly, pick a tree, any tree!

(Madi gives Spud a cold-ass lil trippin look.)

Madi: I straight-up can't tell if you clownin or not.

Heymondbeard: Yo, he aint, Captain. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. There is no toilets, so you just gonna gotta go on tha island.

Spud: Golly, you gonna be roughin dat shit.

Madi: What, biatch? Yuck! No! Absolutely not son! It aint nuthin but much too public.

Heymondbeard: Yo, we gonna help find you some privacy. Yo, I've also gots suttin' fo' you, biatch.

(Heymondbeard reaches tha fuck into his hat.)

Madi: Please let it be one of dem campin toilets.

(Heymondbeard gives Madi a toilet roll.)

Heymondbeard: Yo ass is straight-up gonna need this, Madi. Yo, I know how tha fuck much you don't like resorting, so I though I'd make dis mo' laid back fo' you, biatch.

Madi: I be dirty ta git a gangbangin' first dawg whoz ass carries round toilet paper up in his hat. Dat punk been bustin dat eva since dat poison leaf incident.

(Madi takes tha toilet roll n' stores it up in her hat.)

Heymondbeard: Now letz focus on findin you some privacy!

(Heymondbeard grabs Madi by tha paw n' they run off.)

(Cut ta Madi n' Heymondbeard tryin ta find a funky-ass bathroom. They strutt up ta a tree.)

Heymondbeard: Yo, how tha fuck bout here?

Madi: Err...

(A Wingull flies down.)

Madi: Excuse me yo, but I need privacy.

(Several mo' Wingull fly down, n' one of dem uses Wata Gun, makin Madi flinch yo, but luckily her dope ass dodges tha Wata Gun.)

Madi: Eep!

(Cut ta Madi n' Heymondbeard findin another tree.)

Heymondbeard: Here, maybe?

Madi: Dude, dat aint a tree.

(Da "tree" then gets up n' strutts away, revealin it ta be a Alolan Exeggutor.)

Heymondbeard: Now I know why they call it tha struttin jungle!

(Cut ta Madi n' Heymondbeard findin a patch of straight-up tall grass.)

Heymondbeard: Yo, I can guarantee you dis has privacy.

Madi: All right, Heymondbeard...

(A telescope pops out.)

Madi: Oh, dear playa! That telescopez lookin at us!

(While Madi n' Heymondbeard strutt away, Spud tha Brave strutts out, revealin dat dat schmoooove muthafucka has tha telescope.)

Spud: Golly, I just wanted ta use dis fo' fun.

(Cut ta Madi n' Heymondbeard findin a big-ass rock.)

Heymondbeard: Yo, hey, hey dawwwwg! Now you can go!

(Da big-ass rock suddenly breaks as it is revealed dat Spunky was rockin Rock Smash on dat shit.)

Madi: Thanks a lot, pal!

Spunky: Sorry!

(Madi storms off, wit Heymondbeard followin behind.)

(Cut ta a antsy Madi chillin next ta tha rest of her crew n' Siltquake.)

Madi: Arrrgh! No matta where I try ta go, there be a always no privacy dawwwwg! Come on, wherez tha respect?

Siltquake: Great googly moogily dawwwwg! Thatz a funky-ass big-ass problem.

Madi: I know that!

Spud: Yo, M., why don't you just go up in tha ocean?

Madi: Um, no.

Spud: Golly, what tha fuck do you mean, um, no, biatch? Lotz of pirates have used tha ocean as a toilet, includin mah dirty ass.

Wolfie: Dude has a point.

Madi: Because all tha Gyarados n' Lapras n' Sharpedo don't like dat shiznit son! Besides, I straight-up gotta keep mah trousers dry, so dat they'd be comfy n' easy as fuck  ta wear.

Heymondbeard: Captain, why don't you wanna go on tha island?

Madi: Because I be way too smart-ass ta use tha ghetto as a toilet!

Wolfie: Madi, have you eva um... gone up in nature before?

Madi: N-n-no. I was er... a lil' bit too shy... n' tha thought of goin up in nature... is so freaky.

Wolfie: Then what tha fuck did you eva do while you was treasure hunting?

Madi: I either didn't drank anything, or held it up in until I found a funky-ass bathroom, which was rarely, or until I gots back onto tha ship.

Spud: Biatch would often hog tha outhouse when we gots back onto tha ship.

Madi: But I guess I have no chizzle now, nahmeean?..

(Madi looks round until she findz a palm tree wit a funky-ass bush.)

Madi: Yes!

Siltquake: Whatz gotten you so happy?

Madi: I finally found somewhere suitable ta go! Now I be bout ta be right back! Don't peep me!

Heymondbeard: Yo, aiiight, we won't!

(Madi strutts up in between tha palm tree n' tha bush n' she attempts ta use tha tree, until...)

Contemptible Conrad: Oh shiiiiiiiit you haven't!

Madi: Contemptible Conrad, you snitch! I be tryin ta go here!

Contemptible Conrad: This aint yo' spot, Luxie. Us dudes don't allow spots ta weak-ass muthafuckas, aint dat right, Stupid Savas?

Stupid Savas: Yes, it is, Luxie biaaatch! Ha-har playa! (coughs)

Contemptible Conrad: Go take a cold-ass lil cough drop already!

Stupid Savas: No!

Madi: Arrgh, quit pushin buttons, you muthafuckas muthafucka! I holla'd at you ta git outta mah way or I'ma Spark you n' go all over you, nahmean biiiatch, biatch? It aint nuthin but yo' fault anyway!

Spud: By golly, Connie, fetch!

(Spud takes Contemptible Conradz leg away n' runs off wit it, promptin tha rivals ta give chase. Meanwhile, Heymondbeard n' Wolfie come up.)

Heymondbeard: Yo, M., biatch? Did yo dirty ass go?

Madi: No such luck yet. I'ma go deep up in tha jungle ta peep if there be a anythang mo' private.

Heymondbeard: Mind if I help you, Captain?

Madi: Fuck dat shit, cuz I need privacy!

(Madi runs off.)

(Cut ta Madi up in tha jungle. Madi is behind a tree as she pulls her trousers down n' tries ta use tha bathroom yo, but a Nuzleaf jumps up n' cook up some fuckin noize wit its flute, scarin Madi.)

Madi: Eeep! And I didn't even go yet!

(Madi pulls her trousers back up n' runs off.)

Madi: Ha-ha-ha-har playa! Someone carved dis tree stump ta make it be lookin like some makeshift toilet!

(Madi pulls down her trousers n' sits on tha "makeshift toilet.")

Tree stump: I ain't no makeshift potty dawwwwg! Now git off me n' pull yo' trousers up before I suck you in!

(Madi quickly gets off n' pulls her trousers back up.)

Madi: (to tha crew) Okay, when tha tree stump starts rappin', you know dis is gonna be a weird day.

(Madi runs off. Cut ta Madi behind a funky-ass bush.)

Madi: Third timez a cold-ass lil charm, I guess. Therez probably no disturbizzle round he...

(Randy appears n' tries ta peep Madi just as she pulls her trousers down n' is prepared ta use tha bush.)

Madi: ...re. Oh, dear.

(Madi turns away n' closes her eyes. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch tries ta go yo, but her dope ass don't.)

Madi: Well, I can't hold it up in alllll muthafuckin day.



(Madi is still tryin ta go yo, but dat thugged-out biiiatch can't.)

Madi: Dagnabbit son! I don't give a fuck bout mah shy bladder!

(Madi pulls her trousers back up n' dances off, wit Randy ridin' dirty along up in pursuit as a cold lil' woo wop begins ta play.)

Madi: ♪One dizzle I took a cold-ass lil challenge&lt;br /&gt;To drank da most thugged-out coconuts&lt;br /&gt;But then I needed &lt;br /&gt;And now I be bout ta bust playa!&lt;br /&gt;Now I gotta, I gotta go do tha bladder dizzle biaatch!&lt;br /&gt;I gotta, I gotta, go do tha bladder dance!

My fuckin body is too scared n' shy&lt;br /&gt;To go tha fuck into tha woods&lt;br /&gt;I try ta answer naturez call&lt;br /&gt;But I can't release mah floods.&lt;br /&gt;Now I gotta, I gotta go do tha bladder dizzle biaatch!&lt;br /&gt;I gotta, I gotta, go do tha bladder dance!♪

(Madi stops behind a big-ass bush n' attempts ta pull her trousers down n' go behind it, only fo' tha bush ta rustle, causin Randy ta flee.)

Madi: ♪Hoo boy, what tha fuck will I do?♪

(Wolfie, Heymondbeard, n' Spud come up from behind tha bush.)

Heymondbeard: Has you done gone yet?

Madi: Fuck dat shit, I aint gone at all! Even when I dropped 45 minutes squattin behind a funky-ass bush n' trying.

Spud: By golly. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Skanky Captain.

Madi: I be probably gonna hold it up in fo' tha rest of mah game cuz of this.

(Madi takes a strutt wit her crew.)

Wolfie: M., thatz not phat fo' yo' body.

Heymondbeard: Eventually, yo' body'll stop bein shy n' let itself go.

(Madi, Heymondbeard, Wolfie, n' Spud end up on tha beach.)

Madi: Herez Connie n' Savas, behind dat same tree I tried ta use.

Wolfie: Yeah yo, but how tha fuck is yo dirty ass gonna git past them?

Madi: I be bout ta just Tackle dem outta tha way!

Heymondbeard: They're probably not gonna let you use dat shit.

Madi: I couldn't give a fuckin shiznit biaaatch! I'ma use dat tree n' no onez gonna stop me!

(Madi runs off.)

Spud: Should we stop her?

Heymondbeard: Nah, when you've gotta go, you've gotta go.

(Madi Tacklez tha rivals, bustin  dem away from Madi, whoz ass pulls down her trousers n' puts her back against tha tree!)

Madi: Out of mah way, shitty muthafuckas!

(Madi has a lil' bit of a panic attack, then she finally goes behind dat tree n' her big-ass booty sighz of relief!)

Madi: Oh, dope relief! He-hey dawwwwg! Guess "watering" dat tree wasn't dat bad hommie! I aint scared no mo'!

(Contemptible Conrad stares at Madi from afar yo, but dat freaky freaky biatch aint stopped going.)

Contemptible Conrad: Look at ol' Luxie biaaatch! Dat hoe sprung a leak!

(Contemptible Conrad tries ta sneak up ta Madi yo, but da perved-out muthafucka slips n' loses his fuckin leg.)

Contemptible Conrad: Whoa!

(Stupid Savas catches Contemptible Conradz leg.)

Contemptible Conrad: Give dat back!

(Contemptible Conrad n' Stupid Savas fight each other, until they bump tha fuck into a cold-ass lil coconut tree. Both of dem git knocked up in tha headz by coconuts as a thangs up in dis biatch. Cap'n Madi laughs at this.)

(Cut back ta Madiz crew, waitin fo' her while she goes.)

Heymondbeard: Yo, da hoe been behind dat tree fo' a minute now!

Spud: Golly, well, her dope ass do like ta take her time.

Wolfie: Or she may still be shy. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch either need ta or git up from behind dat tree!

Madi: Nifty dawwwwg! I be finished!

(Madi finishes pullin her trousers up as dat biiiiatch strutts up from behind tha bush, proud as a muthafucka dat she used tha tree.)

Heymondbeard: Yo, hey, hey dawwwwg! Well done, Madi!

Spud: By golly, you've roughed it straight-up well!

Madi: I did dat shiznit son! I aint scared or shy no mo'!

Wolfie: Yo ass even gots tha rivals ta not disturb you, nahmean biiiatch?

Madi: Oh, mah "natural means" gots dem away.

Heymondbeard: Way ta "go", Captain.

Madi: Yo ass is right, Dudebeard. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Way ta go, me!

(Madi smiles.)

(cut to: Da No Manz Pirates is chillin up in front of a big-ass screen.)

Spud: By golly, now itz time for...

Da No Manz Pirates: Our Pokedex entry of tha day!

Madi: And todizzlez Pokemon is...

(Wingull appears onto tha screen.)

Madi: Wingull, tha Seagull Pokemon!

Heymondbeard: Yo, hey, hey, thatz right!

Wolfie: Wingull ride updrafts risin from tha sea by extendin its paper-thin wings ta glide!

Madi: Mmm-hmm fo' realz. Also, wherever they circle, tha ocean is shizzle ta be teemin wit fish Pokemon!

(Madi gets up a funky-ass bucket of Wishiwashi, n' nuff muthafuckin Wingull surround her muthafuckin ass.)

Madi: Yo, pretty birds, you sensed mah crazy ass fish bucket, did yo slick ass?

(Da Wingull battle Madi, n' her big-ass booty screams.)

Madi: Don't just stand there, you dolts muthafucka! Help!

Wolfie: Anyways, props fo' comin on our pirate adventures!

Spud: Yup, yup, now itz time ta end our show!

The Casagrandes Season 1 Episode 3 - "The Two of Clubs" Script
[Ronnie Anne n' Sid is waitin outside tha GLART fo' a train ta appear. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. When it appears, they both git on dat shit. Ronnie Anne gets ta a seat first, n' Sid bigs up her muthafuckin ass.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Oh, Sid, peep up fo' the--"&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Gum, biatch? Saw dat shit."&lt;br /&gt;[Sid gives a peace sign then jumps over tha gum. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch then slips on a funky-ass banana peel. Ronnie Anne catches her muthafuckin ass.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Banana. I was gonna say banana."&lt;br /&gt;[Sid takes tha banana peel off of her shoe. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch throws it ta a man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da playa yelps. Da hoes both sit tha fuck down.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Yo, todizzlez tha dizzle we gotta pick a after-school activity. Did yo dirty ass git into which one you gonna sign up for?"&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Not yet. I had a lil problem wit tha booklet." [Takes up whatz left of holla'd booklet.] "My fuckin momma brought home a funky-ass baby alligator from tha zoo."&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "It aint nuthin but all gravy, I've gots mine," [Takes up her, soggy, booklet.] "It only has Laloz slobber on dat shit." [Wrings it out] "We should straight-up pick a activitizzle dat we can do together, I don't anythang cuttin down on our hang time."&lt;br /&gt;Sid "Me neither n' shit. Do you realize if our phat asses don't do suttin' together, we gonna lose up on two minutez of hang time a thugged-out day?" [Shows a notebook] "Thatz 10 minutes a week n' 40 minutes a month of not hangin out."&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Well, dat aint goin ta happen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Letz see; Chess Club, Gardening, Introduction ta Model Trains"&lt;br /&gt;Stanley: "Oh, definitely model trains."&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne &amp; Sid: "Huh?"&lt;br /&gt;Stanley: "Yo girls, just overheard yo' convo, go wit trains, they literally tonz of fun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Choo-choo!" [Returns ta tha controls, makin mo' train noises.] "All aboard!"&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Thanks Dad, we'll take it tha fuck into consideration."&lt;br /&gt;Mrs. Kernicky: "What bout gymnastics?" [Lowers tha newspaper she reading.] "itz a pimped out activity, n' you can do it anywhere." [Grabs tha handlez above her, n' dismounts wit a shitload of backflips tha fuck into a split; ta tha crew up in front of her muthafuckin ass.] "Ta-da!"&lt;br /&gt;[Da hoe n' mutha give her a ten yo, but tha baby gives seven n' a half.]&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Thanks fo' tha suggestion, Mrs. Kernicky." [Whispers ta Ronnie Anne] "Is there anybody our phat asses don't give a fuck on dis train?"&lt;br /&gt;Sergio: [Whoz chillin right next ta them, bustin a hat, n' readin a newspaper; squawks.] "Yeah, tell me bout dat shit." [Takes a funky-ass briefcase n' flies off, tha hoes git up.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Hmm, Intro ta Balloon Animals, Arc Welding," [turns tha page] "No way, Lucha Libre, biatch? What do you think, biatch? Could dat be our afta school activity?"&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Yes muthafucka! I mean, whenever I've peeped it wit you, it looks pretty cool, letz do dat shit."&lt;br /&gt;Mrs. Kernicky: [Offscreen] "Uh, a lil help."&lt;br /&gt;[Slides over ta tha girls, stuck up in her split.]

[Lata dat day, tha hoes enta tha Lucha Libre Joint.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "This looks phat!" [Runs ta tha box of masks, n' takes two out.] "Here, letz be green," [Puts her mask on] "that way we can be on tha same crew."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: [Puts her mask on] "Sweet son! Now, what tha fuck is our characterz backstories, biatch? Ooh, how tha fuck bout this, biatch? Since we green, we can be radioactizzle booger-people."&lt;br /&gt;[Ronnie Anne laughs at that.]&lt;br /&gt;Artemis: "Yo ass muthafuckas wanna wrestle, biatch? Me n' Becky against you two."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Sure, what tha fuck is tha rules?"&lt;br /&gt;[Becky n' Artemis laugh, n' tha hoes peep each other.]&lt;br /&gt;Becky: [Puts her mask on; threateningly.] "There is no rules."&lt;br /&gt;[Becky grabs tha hoes n' flings dem tha fuck into tha ring. Ronnie Anne rolls n' is fine yo, but Sid bounces, dazed.]&lt;br /&gt;Sid: [As they opponents enta tha ring.] "So, whatz yo' charactas backstory, biatch? Is you both Aztec warriors lost up in time, biatch? Or oranges whoz ass escaped from tha juice factory?"&lt;br /&gt;Becky: [Intensely] "Less rappin'! Mo' wrestling!"&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Okay, ooh, you know what tha fuck I like?" [Wigglez her thumb] "Thumb wrestling."&lt;br /&gt;[Becky elbow drops Sid, n' a gangbangin' fight cloud emerges, it dissipates revealin Becky chillin on a thugged-out dazed Sid, Ronnie Anne pulls her playa away.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Alright, herez tha plan, you lure dem oner here, n' I be bout ta jump off tha ropes n' pin 'em."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "But, won't dat make dem mad?"&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Don't worry bout it we can take 'em. Just channel yo' aggression." [Sid tries ta rile her muthafuckin ass up.] "Come on you can do dat shit. What make you mad salty?" [Shakes her] "Tap tha fuck into yo' tough side."&lt;br /&gt;[Sid tries ta do that, when suddenly her big-ass booty sees suttin' dat she likes.]&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Ooh, a funky-ass butterfly." [A butterfly fluttas past n' Sid starts chasin it, giggling.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Sid wait." [Just then, Artemis n' Becky battle Ronnie Anne, another fight cloud emerges, Sid runs past, still chasin tha butterfly, n' tha cloud ceases; Ronnie Anne has Artemis pinned, n' Becky, whoz smokin Ronnie Annez jacket, goes afta Sid.] "Sid hommie! Look out!"&lt;br /&gt;[Sid has tha butterfly on her finger, n' don't peep Becky behind her, dat dunkadelic hoe turns round when dat freaky freaky biatch hears Becky yell, n' yells up in fear, Becky body slams Sid, n' Sid goes flying, beatboxin right outta tha ring, n' eventually lands.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne gasps n' goes afta Sid, while Artemis is now dazed n' falls over.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Sid hommie! Where is yo slick ass?!" [Bitch findz Sid cowerin under tha callerz table.] "Yo ass aint havin funk is yo slick ass?"&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Fuck dat shit, no, dis is what tha fuck radioactizzle booger-people do, they hide."&lt;br /&gt;[Goes under tha table yo, but Ronnie Anne lifts tha cloth.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "It aint nuthin but all gravy Sid, maybe Lucha aint yo' thang."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Sorry, I know how tha fuck much you like dat shit."&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Don't worry, we'll find another club we can do together, one dat we both love."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Thanks dawg."&lt;br /&gt;[They strutt out, arms round each other, Artemis n' Becky wave peace out.]&lt;br /&gt;Becky: "See you muthafuckas up in algebra!"

[Ronnie Anne takes tha booklet outta her locker.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Letz see, Drama, Bling, Robotics, Wood Shop..."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Woah, wait, robotics, biatch? Our thugged-out asses have to," [seriously] "I aint takin no fo' a answer." [Looks at Ronnie Anne, n' starts begging.] "Can we Ronnie Anne, biatch? Can we please?"&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Soundz like fun, letz check it out."&lt;br /&gt;Laird: [Comes up ta them, covered up in arrows.] "Yo Ronnie Anne, can I borrow yo' book if you done, biatch? Archery club was definitely not fo' mah dirty ass."&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: [Gives it ta him] "Sure Laird."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "If you thankin of tryin lucha libre, peep up fo' Becky."

[In Robotics Club, mah playas is buildin n' coding.]&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "This breakfast bot is gonna cook every last muthafuckin thang; eggs, bacon, toast, pancakes yo. Howz yo' robot coming?"&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: [Whoz standin next ta a pile of parts n' holdin a sprang n' a funky-ass bolt.] "Good, I've finally figured up dat dis piece, attaches ta dis piece." [Puts tha sprang over tha bolt thread, n' tha sprang hits her up in tha face.] "Ouch."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "I gots a pimped out idea, why don't you help me wit mah breakfast bot?"&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Yeah, letz do that, I be starvin anyway."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "I be almost done, can you connect tha eye sensor ta tha servo motor?"&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Yo ass know dat shit." [Works on tha hardware n' closes tha panel.] "Okay, all set."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: [Finishes wirin tha remote, n' gives it ta Ronnie Anne.] "Alright son! Whoz locked n loaded fo' breakfast?"&lt;br /&gt;[Ronnie Anne turns tha bot on.]&lt;br /&gt;Breakfast Bot: "Breakfast is da most thugged-out blingin meal of tha day."&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "How tha fuck 'bout we start wit some hash browns?"&lt;br /&gt;[Da botz lights go off, it then opens itz compartment, where a raw egg falls up n' breaks on tha desk.]&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Is you shizzle you connected dat right?"&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "I be like eighty cement sure, or maybe sixty." [Awkwardly laughs]&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Hmm, maybe you betta turn it off so I can check it out."&lt;br /&gt;[Ronnie Anne presses a funky-ass button on tha remote, n' Breakfast Bot goes crazy.]&lt;br /&gt;Breakfast Bot: "Time or breakfast." [Takes off] "Time fo' breakfast." [Flips another robot wit itz spatula hand, n' pats it down like a pancake.] "Time fo' breakfast. Time fo' breakfast." [Mixes another robot wit itz whisk hand.] "Time fo' breakfast. Time fo' breakfast. Time fo' breakfast. Time fo' breakfast." [Swaps itz kitchen tool handz fo' pancakes n' syrup n' starts flingin breakfast all over tha room.] "Time fo' breakfast. Time fo' breakfast. Time fo' breakfast. Time fo' breakfast. Time fo' breakfast. Time fo' breakfast."&lt;br /&gt;[Sid hits tha emergency shut off, n' tha robot powers down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sid endz up wit a egg n' bacon n' pancake smiley face, which falls off, revealin her despondent face. Ronnie Anne up in hidin behind they work station.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Psst, is mah playas mad all up in mah grill son?"&lt;br /&gt;Sid: [Sees mah playas surroundin them, mad salty, n' hides wit Ronnie Anne.] "Fuck dat shiznit yo, but, robotics might not be yo' thang."&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Fuck dat shit, I can make dis work, how tha fuck 'about I just peep from under here n' never bust a nut on any of tha robots?"&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Or we could just find another club."&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "But you ludd robotics."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Yeah yo, but I'd rather find another activitizzle than lose ten minutes a week of qualitizzle hang time."&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Oh, definitely, we can not lose hang time."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Okay there be a fuckin shitloadz of other clubs we can try, da most thugged-out blingin thang right now is, dat our slick asses leave immediately."&lt;br /&gt;[Da hoes run up n' tha other club thugz throw tools n' machine parts at them, n' one throws they bot on tha ground.]

[Later, tha hoes is up in Pottery Joint.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Pottery is kinda phat, I be goin ta cook up a freshly smoked up dawg dish fo' Lalo."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: [Unsure what tha fuck ta do.] "Hmm, I be thinkin I'ma ludd it too, if I could just find tha on button fo' dis thang."&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Yo ass gotta step on tha foot pedal."&lt;br /&gt;[Sid do so yo, but too hard, n' tha table spins too fast, tha girls, seein where dis is going, duck up in cover, n' Sidz clay splattas all over Laird.]&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Sorry Laird."&lt;br /&gt;Laird: "It aint nuthin but all gravy." [Falls over]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Maybe dis club aint fo' us."&lt;br /&gt;[Next, they try Knittin Joint.]&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "This is so much betta than pottery." [Shows tha Yoon Kwan sweata she making.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: [Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck tied her muthafuckin ass up in yarn.] "Yeah, so much better." [Bitch tries ta git tha yarn off, n' accidentally flings her needlez tha fuck into Lairdz hair, Laird passes out.] "Letz try another club." [Next they try Cookin Joint.] "Todayz recipe is preparin calamari, step one, pick up yo' squid."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: [Picks up a big-ass squid] "Herez a whopper."&lt;br /&gt;[Suddenly tha squid squirts Sid up in tha grill wit ink.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Woah!" [Grabs tha squid]&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Ah! Squid ink. Blech"&lt;br /&gt;[Da squid clings ta her face, n' her big-ass booty screams. Boy it's gettin hot, yes indeed it is. Ronnie Anne pulls it off, they fiddle round tryin ta catch it, n' eventually do.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne &amp; Sid: "I gots his muthafuckin ass."&lt;br /&gt;[Da squid inks again, coverin Laird.]&lt;br /&gt;Laird: [Wipes tha ink off his wild lil' face.] "I miss bein cribschooled."

[On tha subway home, Ronnie Anne crosses tha last club off tha list.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Well, we tried every last muthafuckin club tha school has ta offer."&lt;br /&gt;Stanley: "Even Model Train Club?"&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Dat shiznit was shut down cuz of lack of interest Dad."&lt;br /&gt;Stanley: [Aghast] "What!" [Goes tha fuck into tha cab, abruptly stops tha train, n' make a announcement on tha intercom.] "Attention everyone, dis train is outta service, yo' conductor, need ta strutt dis off, chugga-chugga choo choo."&lt;br /&gt;[Everyone groans at this.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Can da ruffneck do that?"&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Oh yeah, it aint tha last time."

[Eventually, tha hoes make it back ta tha building, still sad.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Listen Sid, I know we straight-up wanted ta do our afta school activitizzle together yo, but we outta time, we gotta pick by tomorrow."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "I know, I don't wanna say it but maybe you should go back ta where you was happy; tha Lucha Libre Joint."&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: [Stops] "Yo ass mean without yo slick ass?"&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "What other chizzle do our crazy asses have?"&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Yeah, maybe you right, n' maybe you should just do tha thang dat made you happy; Robotics Joint." [Black fluidz start pourin from Sidz eyes.] "Awe, dawg, is you crying?"&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Nope, thatz just from tha squid ink yo, but I be sad."&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "I know, me like a muthafucka."&lt;br /&gt;[That night, Ronnie Anne is up in her bed, lookin all up in tha pictures up in her phone, one of her n' Sid up in Cookin Club, then Knittin Club, she laughs at it, n' then Robotics Club, her big-ass booty smiles. Right upstairs, Sid is bustin tha same thang, lookin all up in tha picturez of her n' Ronnie Anne up in Cookin Club, Pottery Club, which dat dunkadelic hoe too laughs at, n' finally Lucha Libre Club, Sid also smiles.]

[Da next day, Sid returns ta Lucha Libre Club, wit her radioactizzle booger-thug mask.]&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "All right, you goons muthafucka! It aint nuthin but time fo' a rematch."&lt;br /&gt;[Charges at Artemis.]&lt;br /&gt;Artemis: "Oh hey, I thought you muthafuckas quit."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Well, you thought wack mah orange playa." [Raises her mask, n' realizes something.] "Wait, wherez Ronnie Anne?"&lt;br /&gt;Artemis: "Dat hoe not here yo, but, let me go git Becky."&lt;br /&gt;[Becky, meanwhile, has a purple hoe up in a headlock.]&lt;br /&gt;Student: "Ah! Help me!"&lt;br /&gt;[Becky pulls her away.]&lt;br /&gt;Sid: [Nervously laughs] "Thatz all gravy, I have ta bounce tha fuck out." [Puts her mask back on] "Tell Becky I holla'd hi."&lt;br /&gt;[Sid leaves. Meanwhile at Robotics Joint.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: [Nervous] "Yo muthafuckas, heh heh, look whoz back."&lt;br /&gt;[Everyone grabs they robots up in fear.]&lt;br /&gt;Breakfast Bot: [Rethugz itz creator.] "Mother, you came back."&lt;br /&gt;[Offers Ronnie Anne a ass shaped pancake yo, but gets yanked away.]&lt;br /&gt;Robotics Kid: "What do you want?"&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Just lookin fo' Sid."&lt;br /&gt;Robotics Kid: "Dat hoe not here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Remember, biatch? Yo ass muthafuckas quit."&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Ah, sorry, I thought Sid would be here, props."&lt;br /&gt;[Ronnie Anne runs out.]&lt;br /&gt;Breakfast Bot: [Comes ta tha door.] "Wait son! Yo ass aint had breakfast."&lt;br /&gt;[Shoots Ronnie Anne a funky-ass bagel, she pops it up in her grill n' continues hustlin all up in tha halls, she looks around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Meanwhile Sid is bustin tha same thang. Therez a split screen of dem lookin fo' each other, until they run right tha fuck into each other.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne:: "Sid?"&lt;br /&gt;Sid: [Takes off tha mask.] "Yes?"&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne n' Sid: I wanna join yo' club!&lt;br /&gt;[They is shocked afta they holla'd that.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "I straight-up couldn't give a fuckin shiznit what tha fuck our phat asses do, as long our phat asses do it together."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Me like a muthafucka."&lt;br /&gt;[They gangbang each other.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "So letz git all up in Robotics Club, I be straight-up gonna try harder."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: [Shakes her head] "Nope, I've already gots tha mask, letz go back ta Lucha Libre."&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: [Throws tha mask away.] "No way, our phat asses bustin robotics."&lt;br /&gt;Breakfast Bot: [Comes up ta itz creators.] "Toast is ready."&lt;br /&gt;[Da bot, whoz bustin tha radioactizzle booger-thug mask, pops buttered toast tha fuck into tha floor, tha hoes laugh.]&lt;br /&gt;Laird: [Amazed by tha bot] "Oh, wow, is you muthafuckas startin some sort, of Lucha Libre Robotics Club?"&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: [In unison] "What?"&lt;br /&gt;Sid: [In unison] "No."&lt;br /&gt;[Suddenly they git a idea.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "I mean, fo'sho, fo'sho, we is startin a Lucha Libre Robotics Joint."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "And We straight-up gonna do it together."

[Later, Sid powers up her robot, n' looks at Ronnie Anne.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Okay Laird hommie! Yo ass can start tha match!"&lt;br /&gt;Laird: [Gives thumbs up] "Alright bots muthafucka! I want a phat clean battle, no hittin below tha hustla belt."&lt;br /&gt;[Breakfast Bot is ready, n' so is Ronnie Annez freshly smoked up bot.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Woohoo! Letz do this muthafucka! I'ma take you down Sid."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Come all up in mah grill bro."&lt;br /&gt;[Da robots battle, when suddenly Becky appears.]&lt;br /&gt;Becky: "Yo dawwwwg! Can I join dis club?"&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Yeah."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Of course."&lt;br /&gt;[Becky entas tha rang n' puts her mask on, do a funky-ass battle cry, n' charges tha fuck into tha fight, all dem punchin soundz n' machine parts is flyin everywhere, Laird gets thrown next ta where Ronnie Anne n' Sid are.]&lt;br /&gt;Laird: [Dazed] "My fuckin scrillaz on Becky."&lt;br /&gt;[Da hoes laugh.]

The Casagrandes Season 1 Episode 5 - "New Haunts" Script
[Outside tha GLART, black birdz squawk on tree branches. One bird transitions ta inside tha GLART fo' realz. A close-up of a chronic cobweb wit a spider hangin down from it fo' realz. A mummyz hand touches tha GLART railin fo' realz. A lightnin special effect happens ta a kid up in a funky-ass bangin' dawg costume. Da blasted returns ta normal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Da kid up in tha bangin' dawg costume sniffs fo' realz. A wide blasted of some lil playas includin Ronnie Anne n' Sid on tha GLART.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "I gots a straight-up boner fo' Halloween up in tha hood. Everyone gets so tha fuck into dat shit."&lt;br /&gt;[Da GLARTz lights turn on n' off as a spooky voice comes on tha GLART PA.]&lt;br /&gt;Stanley: [In a spooky voice over tha PA.] "Oooooh! Yo, wuz crackalackin', biatch? Yo ass is smokin tha GLART Pimp Train! Chugga-chugga choo-chooooo!"&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Yep, even mah dad hommie! Yo, dad!"&lt;br /&gt;[Stanley opens tha conductorz door.]&lt;br /&gt;Stanley: [Normal voice] "Yea muthafucka, girls muthafucka! Kool as fuck Halloween. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I wanted ta wear a cold-ass lil costume yo, but tha GLART holla'd no! It aint nuthin but not like it would interfere wit mah thang! My fuckin handz would straight-up be free inside a taco costume!"&lt;br /&gt;[Stanley frowns.]&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Um, dad, biatch? Shouldn't you be rollin tha train?"&lt;br /&gt;Stanley: "Oh, right. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry bout dat bullshit."&lt;br /&gt;[Stanley closes tha conductorz door.]&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "OK, show me tha text again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I just wanna peep dat shiznit son!"&lt;br /&gt;[Ronnie Anne chucklez n' shows Sid a text on her phone.]&lt;br /&gt;Sid: [Squeals n' dances on top of her seat, rappin.] "Goin ta a sixth grade party!"&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne:: "I still can't believe Mackdaddyston invited our asses ta his Halloween party."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "I know! [Sid stops ridin' dirty yo, but still stands.] A sixth grader playa! It aint nuthin but probably cuz I helped his ass git a eraser outta his wild lil' fuckin ear once."&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Sick biaaatch! Man, dis Halloween is goin ta be phat!"&lt;br /&gt;[Sid sits down.]&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Epic!"&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne:: "Legendary dawwwwg! But I just gots ta rap ta Bobby first, every last muthafuckin Halloween, we put on a hustled house, we even do dis vampire boogie dizzle thang, itz sort of a tradition, n' dis year, we supposed ta do it all up in tha mercado."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "A hustled mercado, biatch? Fun!"&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Yeah yo, but Mackdaddystonz jam is goin ta be all kindsa much mo' fun! I just hope Bobby is OK wit dat shit."

Later, all up in tha Mercado.]&lt;br /&gt;Bobby: [Amazed] "Yo ass gots invited ta a sixth graderz party?"&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Yeah, I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit."&lt;br /&gt;Bobby: [Kinda bummed up at first.] "Don't be, thatz phat, you should go."&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Yo ass won't be upset dat I be bailin on our tradition?"&lt;br /&gt;Bobby: [Puts some zombie handz up in tha melons.] "Well, I do ludd our tradizzle yo, but, itz yo' first Halloween up in tha hood, you should live it up. Besides, I be shizzle Carl n' CJ will help me wit tha hustled mercado."&lt;br /&gt;[At tha freezer case, Carl is puttin fake spidaz up, when a pumpkin sneaks up on them, Carl looks, sees no movement, n' returns ta tha spiders, tha pumpkin sneaks up on his ass again, n' Carl looks again, he bout ta return ta tha spidaz when CJ jumps outta tha pumpkin n' scares him, CJ laughs.]&lt;br /&gt;Carl: [Forgettin what tha fuck da thug was bustin before.] "Spiders muthafucka! Git em off! Git em off! Git em off!"&lt;br /&gt;[Carl runs tha fuck into a wall, CJ laughs until his thugged-out lil' pumpkin starts fallin over.]&lt;br /&gt;Bobby: "Maybe I could teach dem tha vampire boogie."&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Cool, props Bobby, you da bomb."&lt;br /&gt;Bobby: "Have a funky-ass blast. Now, where did I put dem vampire teeth?" [Digs all up in tha box, n' gasps when he fells them; up in a vampirez accent.] "I found dem wild-ass muthafuckas." [Evilly laughs, then screams when tha teeth bite his muthafuckin ass.]

[Lata dat night, a giant red lobsta n' a gum bizzle machine is struttin down tha streets; they was Ronnie Anne n' Sid up in they costumes.]&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "I hope no muthafucka else is dressed as a lobster."&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Pssh, no way, these costumes is pimped out, if there be a a cold-ass lil contest, our phat asses definitely gonna win."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "I bet tha prize is ghon be suttin' phat n' sixth gradery, like... deoderant."&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne &amp; Sid: "Ooh."

[Back all up in tha mercado, Bobby is finishin wit tha decorations, Carl n' CJ strutt up ta his muthafuckin ass.]&lt;br /&gt;Carl: "Okay, I be thinkin thatz every last muthafuckin thang, our crazy asses hung tha cobwebs up, set up tha pumpkins, put tha zombie head up in tha dairy case."&lt;br /&gt;[Just then, Mrs. Flores runs up screaming.]&lt;br /&gt;Mrs. Flores: [Freaked out] "AYE! Madre Mia!"&lt;br /&gt;Bobby: "Oh, sorry Sra. Flores."&lt;br /&gt;CJ: "Is we all done?"&lt;br /&gt;Bobby: "Fuck dat shit, there be a one mo' thang," [In a vampire accent] "Yo ass must learn tha vampire boogie."&lt;br /&gt;[Just then, Vito runs out.]&lt;br /&gt;Vito: "Gah! Zombie!"&lt;br /&gt;Bobby: "But first, maybe I should move tha zombie head."

[Meanwhile, all up in tha Mackdaddystonz crib building, tha elevator opens, n' Ronnie Anne n' Sid is squished, they struggle a lil ta git out, But when they do, Sidz tail gets stuck up in tha doors.]&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Oh-no, mah tail."&lt;br /&gt;[Da elevator starts goin up, Ronnie Anne helps Sid out, n' they roll down tha hall, tha stop when they hit a thugged-out door, dazed, n' peep tha number.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Oh, hey, our crazy asses here."&lt;br /&gt;[Ronnie Anne knocks.]&lt;br /&gt;Kingston: [Inside] "Come on in, doorz open"&lt;br /&gt;[Da hoes enter, n' peep dat no one else is bustin a cold-ass lil costume, mah playas goes on tha down-low n' stares at dem wild-ass muthafuckas.]&lt;br /&gt;Sid: [Oblivious] "Oh yeah, we straight-up gonna win tha costume contest."&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Sid, it aint a cold-ass lil costume party."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: [Realizes] "Oh, well, thatz embarrassing, maybe we should git outta here."&lt;br /&gt;[They try ta squeeze up tha door, when Mackdaddyston approaches dem wild-ass muthafuckas.]&lt;br /&gt;Kingston: "Yo Ronnie Anne, hey Sid."&lt;br /&gt;[Da hoes squeeze back in.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Kingston, mah dude, so, uh, we thought dis was a Halloween party."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Yeah, cause itz Halloween."&lt;br /&gt;Kingston: "It is yo, but, we sixth graders, way too oldschool fo' costumes. But uh, yours are, neat."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "These aren't costumes, they uh, uh, straight-up def coats, everyonez gots 'em up in France."&lt;br /&gt;Kingston: [Walks off] "Right."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: [Shakes Ronnie Anne] "What should our phat asses do, biatch? Take tha costumes off?"&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "But our laid-back asses just have turtlenecks n' leggings on underneath, dat might look even weirder."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: [Looks at mah playas still staring.] "Maybe we should just own dat shit."&lt;br /&gt;Girl #1: [Lookin at her snack] "I wonder if they make dis up in a pepper jack." [Pops it up in her grill.]&lt;br /&gt;Girl #2: [Giggles] "I doubt dat shit."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: [Approaches them, wit confidence.] "This lobsterz hungry yo, butta git outta mah way. Git it?" [Da hoes looks at her blankly.] "Don't be shy, partyz like dis straight-up make me come outta mah shell, claw mah dirty ass." [Extendz a cold-ass lil claw yo, but gets no response.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "I gots dat shit." [Da hoes high five, n' Sidz claw flies off...] "Sick one." [...and landz up in tha punch bowl, drenchin tha other two hoes.]&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Oh-no, mah claw." [Bitch turns ta git it yo, but her tail knocks every last muthafuckin thang else off tha table.]&lt;br /&gt;Girl #1: "Yo ass fucked up tha snacks!"&lt;br /&gt;[Da hoes try ta clean it up yo, but Sid, accidentally shakes up a funky-ass forty of soda n' it sprays all over Ronnie Annez dome, which make it rip open.]&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Sorry."&lt;br /&gt;[Ronnie Annez gum balls start spilling.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "My fuckin gum balls."&lt;br /&gt;[One muthafucka steps on dem n' goes flyin onto tha couch, tha lil playas one tha couch is aggravated by this, n' one accidentally sprays cheese tha fuck into tha ceilin fan, which gets all over everyone.]&lt;br /&gt;Girl #1: [To Mackdaddyston] "I holla'd at you, not ta invite fifth graders."&lt;br /&gt;Kingston: "Bitch was straight-up tall, I didn't give a fuck."&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Thanks fo' tha invite yo, but, uh, we've gots a thang at the, uh,"&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Dry cleaners."&lt;br /&gt;[Da hoes take off.]

[Back all up in tha mercado, Bobby turns on a radio.]&lt;br /&gt;Bobby: "And five, six, seven, eight." [Carl n' CJ try ta dizzle yo, but just bump tha fuck into each other n' fall over, Bobby turns off tha music.] "Fuck dat shit, no, no, first you shuffle in, [demonstrates as da perved-out muthafucka speaks.] "then you bite a neck, then you a funky-ass bat, then-&lt;br /&gt;Carl: [Groans] "This is boring," [grabs tha cauldron from tha table.] "can we smoke candy now?"&lt;br /&gt;Bobby: [Takes tha cauldron n' puts it back, much ta Carlz sadness.] "Not until you've mastered tha boogie."

[Back on tha streets, tha gum bizzle machine n' tha lobsta is strollin along, displeased.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Oh, well, dat was a epic fail."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Although our phat asses did have tha dopest costumes."&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "So, what tha fuck now?"&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "We could go back n' help Bobby wit tha hustled mercado, dat sounded kinda fun."&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Yeah yo, but, I straight-up wanted our first Halloween up in tha hood ta be phat." [Gets a idea] "Oh, I know," [takes up a quarta n' puts up in in her costume, n' takes her cell beeper outta tha dispenser.] "let me text Sameer n' peep what tha fuck he up to." [Gets a response] "Ooh, he at a jam all up in tha skate park, dat soundz even betta than Mackdaddyston's."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Def yo, but we betta ditch tha costumes."&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Yeah, we won't make dat fuck up again." [Da throw they costumes tha fuck into a thugged-out dumpster.] "Problem solved, letz roll."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Ah, skateboard pun, sick."&lt;br /&gt;[Da hoes head off.]

[They arrive all up in tha skatepark yo, but tha doorman all up in tha entrizzle stops dem wild-ass muthafuckas.]&lt;br /&gt;Doorman: [Points ta a sign.] "No costume, no entry."&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Dang dat shiznit son!"&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Actually, these is costumes, our phat asses dressed as mimes, straight-up big-ass up in France."&lt;br /&gt;[They demonstrate yo, but tha doorman points ta another, smalla sign.]&lt;br /&gt;Doorman: "No mimes either."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Charge!"&lt;br /&gt;[Bitch n' Ronnie Anne dive past tha bouncer, n' is amazed at how tha fuck def tha jam is, until tha bouncer drags dem up by they legs.]&lt;br /&gt;Doorman: [Danglin dem upside down.] "Sick try." [Drops them]&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "What now?"&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Don't worry bout it Sid, I've gots a idea." [They return ta tha dumpsta n' git they costumes.] "Slightly damaged n' mad smelly yo, but, still usable."&lt;br /&gt;[They put dem back on.]&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "It aint nuthin but not so shitty if you breathe all up in yo' grill." [Do so, n' swallows a funky-ass bug.] "Watch up fo' flies."&lt;br /&gt;[Da hoes return ta tha skatepark, up in they costume, which is so smelly tha doormanz sunglasses shatter.]&lt;br /&gt;Doorman: [Fans away tha stench] "Ooh, you muthafuckas smell shitty, what tha fuck is you supposed ta be anyway?"&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Dat hoe a grimy gum ball, n' I be a garbage lobster."&lt;br /&gt;Doorman: "Mmm-hmm, let me guess; they straight-up big-ass up in France."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Oui."&lt;br /&gt;[Da doorman lets dem in, nearly throws up from tha smell, n' puts on a freshly smoked up pair of glasses. Da hoes enter.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne &amp; Sid: "Cool."&lt;br /&gt;[Da jam be amazing, a pimp skateboardz up ta dem wild-ass muthafuckas.]&lt;br /&gt;Skata Ghost: "Duuuuude."&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Now dis be a party." [Looks over, gasps, n' waves.] "Yo Sameer!" [At a funky-ass booth, a funky-ass banana turns around, sees his wild lil' playaz wavin ta him, n' waves back. Ronnie Anne notices Sid still flailin her arms.] "I be thinkin da perved-out muthafucka sees our asses Sid, you can stop waving."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "I just gotz a tickle up in tha middle of mah back."&lt;br /&gt;Sameer: [Walks up ta them] "Glad you muthafuckas made it, dis jam is sick." [Shows dem tha bottom of his skateboard, which is covered up in candy.] "They have dis station where you can trick or treat up yo' board, I chose treat." [Eats candy corn of tha bottom of his board]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Ooh, cool"&lt;br /&gt;Sid: [Still tryin ta reach her back.] "Can one of y'all muthafuckas scratch mah back?" [Lowers tha lobsta head] "I can't seem ta git dis itch, it keeps moving."&lt;br /&gt;[the source of Sidz itch emerges from tha back of her costume.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Aah! It aint nuthin but a rat!"&lt;br /&gt;Sameer: "And itz huge!"&lt;br /&gt;Sid: [Realizes] "Aah! Git it off! Git it off!"&lt;br /&gt;[Sid runs round n' be bout ta fall tha fuck into tha pit.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: [Grabs her hand] "I gots cha."&lt;br /&gt;[But they both fall tha fuck into tha pit, n' go flyin up tha other side, mah playas sees n' is amazed, they start cheerin n' applauding. Da hoes n' tha rat is still rising, tha hoes holdin each other n' screaming.]&lt;br /&gt;Sid: [Looks down, n' forgets dat she trippin like a muthafucka.] "They ludd us, we skate stars." [Sid is excited, until they stop risin n' remain stuck up in midair. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Ronnie Anne looks down, n' Sid rethugz something.] "Oh right, gravity."&lt;br /&gt;[Da hoes plummet back down, they land up in tha middle of tha pit, n' they costumes shatta fo' good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Da rat landz on dem n' they looks at it wit annoyance.]&lt;br /&gt;Doorman: "Yo ass two gotta go, tha rat can stay." [To tha rat] "Sick costume."&lt;br /&gt;[Fist bumps dat shit.]

[Later, tha hoes sadly strutt home.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Ah man! First Halloween up in tha hood was such a funky-ass bust."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Yeah, even dat rat had a funky-ass betta night than us."&lt;br /&gt;Mrs. Flores: [To Miranda n' Georgia, as she n' Alexis leave tha Mercado.] "Ha, ha, our laid-back asses just came down here fo' a cold-ass lil can of frijoles, didn't expect ta find hustled mercado." [Laughs] "Aye Galindo."&lt;br /&gt;[Da hoes enta tha mercado as tha thugs is cleanin up.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Yo Bobby, be lookin like tha hustled mercado was a hit."&lt;br /&gt;Bobby: "Dat shiznit was pretty epic," [Looks at Carl n' CJ.] "these muthafuckas was pimped out helpers."&lt;br /&gt;CJ: "Yeah, I was a vampire pirate fo' realz. Arggh. Blood."&lt;br /&gt;Carl: "Dat shiznit was supa freaky," [Realizes] "I mean, I didn't git scared, I never git trippin like a muthafucka."&lt;br /&gt;Bobby: "So, how tha fuck was yo' muthafuckas' night?"&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Uh, it was."&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Awful, wit a side of humiliatin n' a big-ass helpin of stinky."&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "Us dudes dropped tha whole night lookin fo' tha coolest thang ta do yo, but I be thinkin we would have had da most thugged-out funk right here."&lt;br /&gt;Bobby: [Puts a hand on his sisterz shoulder.] "Well, I be sorry as a muthafucka you had a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shitty-ass Halloween yo, but, at least you tried suttin' new, dat took... guts!"&lt;br /&gt;[Da hoes laugh as Bobby holdz fake eyeballs n' intestines up in they faces, Bobby laughs like a muthafucka.]&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "I be sorry as a muthafucka I didn't appreciate how tha fuck phat our tradizzle was, I straight-up missed it tonight, next year, count me up in fo' tha hustled mercado."&lt;br /&gt;Bobby: "Well, why wait fo' next year, you know we still aint done tha vampire boogie." [Whispers] "Carl was havin shiznit wit tha choreography, tha kid can't sashay."&lt;br /&gt;Carl: [Aggravated] "Yes yes y'all, I can!" [Thinks bout it; ta CJ.] "Uh, whatz sashay?"&lt;br /&gt;CJ: [Demonstrates] "This."&lt;br /&gt;Ronnie Anne: "What do you say Sid, biatch? Yo ass up fo' tha vampire boogie?"&lt;br /&gt;Sid: "Yo ass bet yo' gum balls."&lt;br /&gt;Bobby: [Pops his cape collar, n' takes up a microphone.] "All vampires, please report ta tha dizzle floor, itz time ta boogie."

[Da noize git started, tha Santiago siblings strutt like vampires fo' realz. A hook pops up from under tha apples, n' CJ comes up laughing. Da freezer case opens n' Carl emerges like itz a cold-ass lil coffin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da Santiagos step up tha door, locked n loaded ta boogie, mah playas takes notice.]&lt;br /&gt;Stanley: [Pops up tha Changz window, finally gettin ta wear his cold-ass taco costume.] "Chugga-chugga oooohhh."&lt;br /&gt;[Da others pop up behind tha Santiagos, n' tha siblings do tha vampire boogie. Miranda n' Georgia clap along, Mista Muthafuckin Nakamura n' Nelson start ridin' dirty. CJ n' Sid join tha Santiagos, when Carl slides up on a cold-ass lil cardboard box n' starts breaking, makin his dirty ass dizzy. Everyone has had a phat Halloween.]

Down Under
Travelin up in a gangbangin' fried-out Kombi&lt;br /&gt;On a hippie trail, head full of zombie&lt;br /&gt;I kicked it wit a strange lady, she made me nervous&lt;br /&gt;Bitch took me up in n' gave me breakfast&lt;br /&gt;And her big-ass booty holla'd&lt;br /&gt;Do you come from a land down under?&lt;br /&gt;Where dem hoes glow n' pimps plunder?&lt;br /&gt;Can't you hear, can't you hear tha thunder?&lt;br /&gt;Yo ass betta run, you betta take cover&lt;br /&gt;Buyin bread from a playa up in Brussels&lt;br /&gt;Dude was six-foot-four n' full of muscle&lt;br /&gt;I holla'd, "Do you speak-a mah language?"&lt;br /&gt;Dude just smiled n' gave me a vegemite sandwich&lt;br /&gt;And da perved-out muthafucka holla'd&lt;br /&gt;I come from a land down under&lt;br /&gt;Where brew do flow n' pimps chunder&lt;br /&gt;Can't you hear, can't you hear tha thunder?&lt;br /&gt;Yo ass betta run, you betta take cover, yeah&lt;br /&gt;Lyin' up in a thugged-out den up in Bombay&lt;br /&gt;With a slack jaw, n' not much ta say&lt;br /&gt;I holla'd ta tha dude, "Is you tryin ta tempt me&lt;br /&gt;Because I come from tha land of plenty?"&lt;br /&gt;And da perved-out muthafucka holla'd, oh&lt;br /&gt;Do you come from a land down under, biatch? (Ooh yeah yeah)&lt;br /&gt;Where dem hoes glow n' pimps plunder?&lt;br /&gt;Can't you hear, can't you hear tha thunder?&lt;br /&gt;Yo ass betta run, you betta take cover ('cause we are)&lt;br /&gt;Livin up in a land down under&lt;br /&gt;Where dem hoes glow n' pimps plunder&lt;br /&gt;Can't you hear, can't you hear tha thunder?&lt;br /&gt;Yo ass betta run, you betta take cover&lt;br /&gt;Livin up in a land down under&lt;br /&gt;Where dem hoes glow n' pimps plunder&lt;br /&gt;Can't you hear, can't you hear tha thunder, biatch? (Ooh yeah)&lt;br /&gt;Yo ass betta run, you betta take cover (we are)&lt;br /&gt;Livin up in a land down under (ooh yeah)&lt;br /&gt;Where dem hoes glow n' pimps plunder&lt;br /&gt;Can't you hear, can't you hear tha thunder?&lt;br /&gt;Yo ass betta run, you betta take cover&lt;br /&gt;Livin up in a land down under (livin up in a land down under)&lt;br /&gt;Where dem hoes glow n' pimps plunder&lt;br /&gt;Can't you hear, can't you hear tha thunder?

An excerpt from a Wikipedia article on rabbits
Rabbits is lil' small-ass mammals up in tha family Leporidae of tha order Lagomorpha (along wit tha hare n' tha pika). Oryctolagus cuniculus includes tha European rabbit species n' its descendants, tha ghettoz 305 breeds[1] of domestic rabbit. Sylvilagus includes 13 wild rabbit flavas, among dem tha seven typez of cottontail. Da European rabbit, which has been introduced on every last muthafuckin continent except Antarctica, is familiar all up in tha ghetto as a wild prey animal n' as a thugged-out domesticated form of livestock n' pet. With its widespread effect on ecologies n' cultures, tha rabbit (or bunny) is, up in nuff areaz of tha ghetto, a part of everyday game—as chicken, threadz, a cold-ass lil companion, n' as a source of artistic inspiration.

Although once considered rodents, lagomorphs like rabbits done been placed up in they own, separate crew cuz of a fuckin shitload of traits they rodent cousins lack, like two extra incisors.

"Higher" (from the movie Creating Rem Lezar) lyrics
From within yo' mind &lt;br /&gt;No one else can find &lt;br /&gt;Da game dat you inspire&lt;br /&gt;From another place&lt;br /&gt;Not from outa space&lt;br /&gt;But from some place even higher &lt;br /&gt;Rem Lezar (Yo ass are)&lt;br /&gt;Rem Lezar (Yo ass are)&lt;br /&gt;I can touch&lt;br /&gt;I can feel&lt;br /&gt;I can hear n' see&lt;br /&gt;So much mo' than a gangbangin' fantasy&lt;br /&gt;I can run&lt;br /&gt;I can jump&lt;br /&gt;I can dizzle n' sing&lt;br /&gt;Believe up in yo ass n' do anything&lt;br /&gt;(Believe up in yo ass n' do anything)&lt;br /&gt;From within yo' mind &lt;br /&gt;No one else can find &lt;br /&gt;Da game dat you inspire&lt;br /&gt;From another place&lt;br /&gt;Not from outa space&lt;br /&gt;But from some place even higher &lt;br /&gt;Rem Lezar (Yo ass are)&lt;br /&gt;Rem Lezar (Yo ass are)&lt;br /&gt;I can strutt&lt;br /&gt;I can talk&lt;br /&gt;I can listen n' learn&lt;br /&gt;As tha wheels up in mah mind begin ta turn&lt;br /&gt;But I be bout ta never forget what tha fuck you've given ta me&lt;br /&gt;Da juice ta touch, feel n' hear n' see&lt;br /&gt;(Da juice ta touch, feel n' hear n' see)

How To Spell The F Word
Step 1: Put the F&lt;br /&gt; Step 2: Put the U&lt;br /&gt; Step 3: Put the C&lt;br /&gt; Step 4: Put the K&lt;br /&gt; Step 5: Congratulations, you learnt how to spell “Fuck”.&lt;br /&gt;

Caillou is Bad
Until now, I've never had a single complaint bout mah near-slick three year old. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! From chillin all up in tha night at 6 weeks of, givin up bottlez n' his crib n' movin ta his own room - even takin baths n' goin ta bed every last muthafuckin night without a single complaint n' potty hustlin n' readin on his own at 2.

UNTIL CAILLOU fo' realz. And I aint clownin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. This aint a joke review. This be a straight-up complaint.

That obnoxious lil brat, Caillou, up in just two episodes, has mah lil hustla WHINING "I can't!!" ta EVERYTHING he be axed ta do. "Time ta git outta tha tub, dopeie," I tell his muthafuckin ass. "I caaaaaaannnn't." Dude whines up in dis wack squeal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. I had NO IDEA where dis abhorrent behavior came from until I caught THREE SECONDS of dis wack show on tv.

My fuckin won was watchin intently n' I holla'd "turn tha tv off please." And ta mah horror, da ruffneck dropped ta tha floor, n' started whinin over n' over "I can't son! I can't".

I wanted ta throw up. No shock- dis wack excuse fo' a televizzle show has been PERMANENTLY banned from our home. I'ma tell every last muthafuckin parent I know of dis god -awful excuse fo' a "educationizzle program".

My fuckin lil hustla has caught glimpsez of sponge bob (crude), juice rangers (physical fighting) n' even half a minute of gremlins (not up in mah presence yo, but I found up da perved-out muthafucka saw da most thugged-out gruesome parts) n' had ZERO erection ta these thangs - da ruffneck didn't karate chop our doggy den cats, or imitate any of tha crude humor on sponge bob....but up in a mere TWO MINUTES of "CAILLOU" mah lil hustla immediately picked up dat petulant lil Bartz HORRIBLE incessant whine n' his "I can't" crap dat da perved-out muthafucka spews every last muthafuckin time he be axed or holla'd at ta do ANYTHING.

In every last muthafuckin episode afta tha straight-up original gangsta season, Caillou whines bout EVERYTHING yo. Dude throws thangs, yells at his sista "Nooooooo, Rosie!" And whines CONSTANTLY. Dogg forbid you should let yo' lil pimp peep dis n' then he or her big-ass booty starts soundin like Caillou fo'sho. I'd rather mah lil hustla dizzle round sayin "Say Map!" All dizzle than listenin ta his ass whine bout EVERYTHING.

BY FAR da most thugged-out shitty childrenz show I've eva seen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. PBS should be payin fo' a professionizzle ta help me fix dis behavior (and a trip ta tha spa ta chillax mah nerves afta listenin ta tha whinin I'd never had ta deal wit before "CAILLOU". Flat up AWFUL.

Kayt (Momma ta one son, 3)

Larry Throws a Tantrum

 * Narrator: And Now Is time fo' Silly Joints With Larry Da Part tha show where Larry Come up n' Sin a Silly Song
 * Larry tha Cucumber: MUTHAFUCKA MUTHAFUCKA WOW!!!!!!! Look at dat Letz Make Music 2000 Tape!!!!!! Can I have it Bear, biatch? Can I have it, pleeeaaase?!?
 * Bear: Not todizzle Larry
 * Kipper: [cuts in] Besides vizzlez cost scrilla
 * Narrator: Then Larry fuckin started ta git a big-ass temper tantrum.
 * Larry: But........But........I..BWAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I WANT THAT LETS MAKE MUSIC TAPE!!!!! Pleeease!!!! Pleeeeeease!!!!!
 * Olie: Sick try Larry.
 * Larry: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! NOOOOOO!!!! NOOOO!!! LETS MAKE MUSIC TAPE NOOOOW!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! AWAAHAHHAAHHAHA!!!!! (Larryz playaz drag Larry outta tha store while Larry bawls n' cries behind)
 * Narrator: And dat was that; They gots up in they hoopty n' gots home n' Larry gots busted ta his bangin red room fo' 1 hour.
 * Larry: NOOOO!!!! (whines uncontrollably) I WANT LETS MAKE MUSIC VIDEO!!!!!!!! It aint nuthin but too late ta git dat shiznit son!!!!!!!
 * Narrator: Wailed Larry.
 * Narrator: Then, tha next dizzle Larry n' his thugged-out lil' muthafathas went ta tha toy store, n' it had fuckin shitloadz of plushies, n' Larry loved retired plushies.
 * Larry: OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! LOOK AT ALL THOSE PLUSHIES!!!!!!!! I WANT THAT 2003 SONIC THE HEDGEHOG!!!!!! May I have it Pleeeease?!?!, biatch? Pleease!!! Pleease!!! Pleeeeeaaase!!!!!!!
 * Narrator: Whined Larry.
 * Zowie: But Larry Yo ass gots nuff dolls at home.
 * Barney: And besides, dem dolls cost scrilla.
 * Larry: BUT I WANT THAT SONIC PLUSH!!!!!!!!! I WANT IT NOW!!!!!! NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW!!!!!!
 * Thomas: CUT IT OUT, LARRY!!!!!!!!!
 * Larry: BWAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!! I WANT THAT SONIC PLUSH!!!!!!! NAAAAAAAAAAAARGH YAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!! [Larry keeps on kickin beatboxin n' bustin up like a biatch n' all of tha other lil playas laughed at him
 * Narrator: And when Larry was kicking, beatboxin n' crying, tha other lil playas gathered round his ass n' laughed at his muthafuckin ass.
 * Larry: GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!!!! CAN'T YOU SEE SONIC CAR?!?!!?!?!??!?! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!
 * Narrator: And his thugged-out lil' muthafathas gots so mad at his ass dat they dragged Larry outta tha toy store n' he gots kicked up ta throw his ass up in his orange room fo' his thugged-out lil' punishment again.
 * Larry: NOW IT'S TOO LATE TO GET THAT VIDEO AND THAT PLUSH!!!!!!!!! AND NOW I'M TRAPPED IN MY ROOM FOREVER AND I'LL NEVER GET IT!!!!!!!!!!! AUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!!!
 * Narrator: Just then playaz came up ta Larry n' axed why da thug was crying.
 * Holly: Whats tha matter, Larry?
 * Larry: All I wanted was dat 2003 Sonic tha Hedgehog plush n' dat Sesame Street Letz Make Music 2000 Vhs tape yo, but then mah muthafathas locked mah crazy ass up in mah room when I had a tantrum n' now I be stuck here forever!!!!!! Waahahahahahahahahhaahahah!!!!!! I Want dem nooow!!!!!!! (Bob consolez him)
 * Frosty: Don't worry, Larry. I be bout ta stop yo' muthafathas from they anger n' punishments.
 * Narrator: And so Bob went down ta peep Larryz muthafathas, n' da thug was straight-up cross.
 * Bob tha Tomato: Yo ass have punished Larry up in his bangin room one time too much! Yo ass thought tantrums disgusting, skanky, n' inapropriate yo, but they is calming, wack, dope, appropriate, charming, n' aiiight.
 * Elmo: Fo' realz, biatch? Yo ass can't be serious!
 * Bob: Yes yes y'all, I was muthafucka! Larry must have tha 2003 Dude wit Coal Hoopty n' dat Thomas n' His Playas Git Along 2000 tape!
 * Narrator: So Larry came downstairs up his fuckin lil' dark room ta peep his thugged-out lil' muthafathas, they apologized ta Larry bout bein mean.
 * Oobi: We sorry, Larry.
 * Narrator: Apologized Larryz muthafathas.
 * Charlie Brown: We thought yo' tantrums was disrupting, inapropriate n' loud.
 * Horton: But they is straight-up calming, peaceful, soft, understanding, n' appropriate.
 * Larry: So now can I have mah Letz Make Music 2000 vizzle n' 2003 Sonic Plush?
 * Supa Why: Actually, I already looted dem fo' you, nahmean biiiatch?
 * Larry n' Bob: Yaaay!!!!!
 * Larry: Thanks mommy!!!!! Thanks Daddy!!!!
 * Narrator: So Bob n' Larry went upstairs ta peep they freshly smoked up Sesame Street Vhs tape n' play they Sonic Plush from 2003.
 * Bob: How tha fuck bout I put up in tha tape, n' you press play.
 * Larry: Okay!

(scene ends)

Comments
This page is horrifying in every way. I love it.

-- Choerryism (talk) 14:20, 10 June 2021 (UTC)