No Man's Pirates/Episodes/Shipwrecked

"Shipwrecked" is the first episode of the first season of No Man's Pirates.

Synopsis
It's the No Man's Pirates' first pirate adventure, and everything goes well until they end up sailing to an island. However, the island is home to a wicked pirate, Contemptible Conrad and his first mate, Wretched Waldo, and they don't want them to steal the booty, so they shoo them off and begin firing cannonballs at them. However, when a cannonball hits and sinks the ship, the No Man's Pirates lose their nerves and Spud the Brave ends up saving the day, and this is just the beginning of their journey...

Transcript
(The episode begins with a Luxio running downstairs, about to head out the door of her house.)

Luxio: Bye, Mum! I’m going on my pirate adventure! I don’t know when I’ll be back, but I love you!

(Takara’s mum, a Luxray, comes up to Takara.)

Mum: Okay. Just stay safe, and don’t forget to change your underwear! Every single day.

Takara: Aw, Mum! Can you not embarrass me?

(An Excadrill, a Manectric, an Umbreon, and a Cyndaquil, Takara’s brothers and sisters, also come up to say goodbye to Takara. The Excadrill punches Takara in the shoulder.)

Takara: Jackie!

Jackie: Hey, M.! You gonna give some doubloons when you get back or what?

Takara: I’ll give some to you, but the rest is gonna be me crew’s treasure!

Manectric: Aw, lookie here! The baby is going on her trip. Hope you don’t get scared, sis!

Takara: Vicious! I’m not scared of almost anything!

Vicious: Yeah, but what if you encounter a Gyarados?

Takara: Yeah, but I’ve been around Gyarados meself.

Umbreon: OMG, Takara, like, you pirates are so grody. I don't understand why you and, like, your little friends do this stuff.

Takara: Angie, might I remind you that we made a deal that if you don't make fun of me pirate stuff, I don't make fun of your teenage girly stuff?

Angie: Like, whatever.

Cyndaquil: Takara, are you going to come back?

Takara: I'll be back eventually, Cyndy. I love you.

(Takara kisses Cyndy on her forehead.)

Takara: Bye, Mum! Bye, Jackie! Bye, Vicious! Bye, Angie! Bye-bye, Cyndy!

(Takara takes off running. Cut to a shot of a farm.)

???: HEYMOND! Get your tail off this tractor right now!

(Cut to a Corphish getting off a tractor while a Boltund is staring angrily at him.)

Boltund: Heymond, what have I told you about doing nothing but drive the tractor all day?

Heymond: Hey Kanoa, can’t you at least let me have my fun? You let the others have fun. Just look at them.

(Pan over to a Totodile wearing a hat and dungarees, happily singing and dancing as he pulls a turnip from the ground into a basket held by a Buizel, also wearing a hat and dungarees.)

Buizel: Thanks, Dancer!

Dancer: Anytime, Sonic!

(Suddenly, an Oshawott runs by, kicking up a lot of dirt.)

Dancer: Darren!

Sonic: What have I told you about kicking dirt in everyone’s faces?

Darren: C’mon, I’m just trying to help!

Kanoa: Well, all play and no work makes you people bad workers!

(Meanwhile, Heymond puts his straw hat onto Kanoa and gets off his tractor.)

Kanoa: Wait, where the heck are you going?

Heymond: Hey, I’m going on an adventure.

Kanoa: No you’re not, Heymond!

(Heymond puts on his pirate hat.)

Heymond: Hey, it’s Heymondbeard now.

Kanoa: You are getting back here and that’s final!

Heymondbeard: Fat chance, sheepdog! Hey, I don’t need you and these stupid workers anyway!

(Heymondbeard runs off.)

(Cut to a Takara waiting impatiently for Heymondbeard on a road.)

Takara: Come on, hurry up, Heymondbeard! Where is he? He can’t be late

(Heymondbeard shows up.)

Takara: Oh, thank goodness!

Heymondbeard: So are we ready for our first pirate adventure?

Takara: Almost, gotta pick someone up first.

(Takara and the crew run up to an Empoleon in a booth near the dock.)

Empoleon: Have you got a pass?

(Takara shows the Empoleon three passes.)

Takara: Yes, yes, Mr. Harbour!

Mr. Harbour: But you’ve got three passes, and there’s two of you!

(A Bibarel shows up.)

Bibarel: By golly, I’m with them!

Takara and Heymondbeard: Spud the Brave!

Spud: Now we’re all ready to go!

Takara: Whoo-hoo!

(The No Man’s Pirates begin to skip and dance around.)

Takara and the Crew: (in a sing-song tone) ♪We’re on a treasure hunt! We’re on a treasure hunt!

(The Pirates run onto a pirate ship called “The Jolly Sobble” and they sail away.)

Mr. Harbour: Have fun treasure hunting, everybody!

(Cut to a Lugia poking its head out of the water, then diving back in. A pirate ship then sails out to sea. Takara is sailing the ship, with Heymondbeard by her side, while Spud swims by them.)

Takara: (sniffs the sea air, then sighs) This is me life. A sweet smell of a new day.

(Suddenly, a storm comes in.)

Heymondbeard: Holy Arceus, a storm is brewing! Batten down the hatches! Trim the sails!

(The storm causes the boat to rock, and Cap'n Takara does her very best to steer the ship.)

Takara: How the heck do you steer this thing?

Spud: By golly, everything’s going to be okay!

Takara: Don’t worry, buccaneers, you heard Spud! And besides, I’m never scared of storm cliches! Arrgh!

(The storm stops. Cut to them sailing to an island)

Heymondbeard: Hey, land ahoy!

Takara: And from what it looks like, we've reached an island! Nifty! We're all itching to get out and start exploring!

(The No Man's Pirates get onto the island, and Heymondbeard falls off the edge of the boat.)

Heymondbeard: Oof! Ow! Hey, Captain, you should park more carefully next time.

Takara: Sorry. Still working on ship sailing.

(As everyone gets off the boat, Takara unrolls her treasure map and reads it.)

Takara: This is the same island that's on me treasure map, and that's the X that marks the spot.

Spud: You mean there's treasure buried under that X?

Takara: You're exactly right. We're on Smaliland, where, legend has it, has a special treasure buried in it. Hey, I know how we're gonna dig up the treasure!

Spud: But how?

Takara: Me and Heymondbeard are just going to walk up to the X, and then we'll dig it up, and if any bad guy shows up, we'll make them walk the plank!

Heymondbeard: Hey, hey, hey!

Takara: Spud, try to check to see if there's any bad guys!

Spud: Alright.

Takara: Now let us loot some treasure! Ha-har, shiver my timbers!

(Takara and Heymondbeard slowly walk up, until they hear a bush rustling.)

Takara and Heymondbeard: Aaaah!

Heymondbeard: Hey, what was that?

Takara: Please don't let it be bad guys, please don't let it be bad guys, please don't let it be bad guys, please don't let it be bad guys.

(An Impidimp jumps from the bush and excitedly runs up to the gang.)

Takara: Hey, hey, settle down, we're here to look for treasure.

Impidimp: Impi, impi, dimp, dimp!

Takara: You want to look for treasure? Okay, come with us.

(Impidimp nods, and everyone begins walking again.)

Heymondbeard: Hey, Captain, who is this guy?

Takara: This is Impidimp. He's our treasure buddy.

Heymondbeard: Hey, hey, hey, he's an okay guy, but I thought Spud was our treasure buddy.

Takara: Speaking of Spud, where is he?

(Takara and Heymondbeard are about to dig up the treasure (which is marked by the X), until...)

Thievul: Oh, no, you don't!

(A Thievul and an Armaldo jump out from behind the X and make the three characters flinch.)

Thievul: You and your little friends are not allowed on Contemptible Conrad's island!

Spud and Heymondbeard: Wait, Connie?

Takara: Do you remember him? Back on Kaizoku, we used to be friends with each other. Then one day, we had a huge falling out, which caused a huge fight between us.

Spud: By golly, now I remember.

Takara: Connie?! I thought you were lost while going on a pirate adventure!

Contemptible Conrad: My name is not Connie, it is Contemptible Conrad, and the Armaldo is my first mate, fellow island inhabitant Wretched Waldo.

Wretched Waldo: You three look like stupid pirates! And you brought stupid old Randy along.

Randy: Impidimp!

Takara: Well, I think Randy the Impidimp feels offended thanks to you. Also, Contemptible Conrad, do you remember Heymondbeard and Spud?

Contemptible Conrad: Heymondbeard and Spud? They look like losers to me!

Wretched Waldo: And to me! Ha-har! (coughs)

(Contemptible Conrad tries to offer Wretched Waldo a cough drop.)

Contemptible Conrad: Cough drop?

Wretched Waldo: No, I'm fine!

Heymondbeard: Wait, where's Spud?

Contemptible Conrad: Here.

(Contemptible Conrad reveals a tied-up Spud and pushes him forward.)

Spud: Help! Help!

Contemptible Conrad: That little Water-type was disrupting us, so we got him all tied up. (to Spud) Any last words?

Spud: Well, how come you bad guys are the ones protecting your stuff from theft and using the right to choose who is on your property, and us good guys are the ones trespassing onto your property and trying to steal your stuff?

Takara: Let him go!

Contemptible Conrad: Ah-ah-ah! He's staying with me! So either leave our stuff alone or everyone on this island is getting blasted with cannonballs!

Heymondbeard: You're not blasting anybody with cannonballs.

Contemptible Conrad: Fine, then Spud's gonna be taken care of.

Takara: No!

(Takara Double Kicks Contemptible Conrad, setting Spud free.)

Takara: You will not do anything bad to us pirates!

(Takara unties Spud.)

Spud: Gee, thanks, Takara.

Wretched Waldo: That's it, we're all blasting you with cannonballs!

(Takara grabs Spud.)

Takara: Let's get out of here, guys!

Spud: Golly, I'm on it!

(The gang runs to the ship.)

Contemptible Conrad: Fire!

(Wretched Waldo fires a cannonball, only to have Spud the Brave use Iron Tail on it, causing it to fly in his face and give him a black eye.)

Takara: Oooh! Right in the eye, boy-o!

Contemptible Conrad: Fire!

(Wretched Waldo fires multiple cannonballs, but Spud eats them.)

Spud: Mmm-mmm-mmm! Tasty!

(Contemptible Conrad is getting angry.)

Contemptible Conrad: Fire, you idiot! Don't let them get away!

Wretched Waldo: But Spud keeps eating and using Iron Tail on them!

Contemptible Conrad: Do it! Fire!

(Wretched Waldo fires a cannonball. Spud tries to eat it, but it goes out of his reach.)

Spud: Golly, I still won't have any dessert.

(The cannonball hits the ship, right in front of Cap'n Takara.)

Takara: Uh-oh.

Heymondbeard: Hey Captain, we've been hit!

Takara: Should I panic?

Heymondbeard: Hey, if you really want to.

Takara: Everyone, get out of the boat right now!

Heymondbeard: Oh my hey! We're gonna be eaten by Sharpedo!

Takara: Come on, Dudebeard! Out of the boat already!

(Takara tosses Heymondbeard overboard, then she plunges herself into the water.)

Takara and Heymondbeard: Abandon ship!

(Meanwhile, Contemptible Conrad and Wretched Waldo are grinning evilly.)

Contemptible Conrad: We did it, Wretched Waldo! We finally got these pirates! Now that they're gonna sink, they're not gonna get on our property!

Wretched Waldo: Er, Contemptible Conrad, the crew's doing just fine.

Contemptible Conrad: Those pirates will pay!

(Cut back to Takara, and Heymondbeard.)

Takara: What if these cannonballs hit us?

Heymondbeard: We're gonna be eaten by Sharpedo!

Takara: Or one of us will get severe injuries from these cannonballs.

Heymondbeard: I wonder if anyone's actually gonna save us!

Takara: I want me mummy!

(Spud flips everyone onto his back.)

Spud: I've got your backs or should I say, you've got my back!

Takara: Spud the Brave! You're saving our bums!

Spud: Golly, that's what pals are for!

(Cut to Contemptible Conrad and Wretched Waldo watching the good guys swim towards the island.)

Contemptible Conrad: Why are they still alive?

Wretched Waldo: You want me to fire some more?

Contemptible Conrad: Do it! And make it snappy!

(Wretched Waldo fires cannonballs as fast as possible, only for Spud to consume and Iron Tail them.)

Takara: Go Spud!

Heymondbeard: Hey, hey, hey!

Wretched Waldo: Well, we've already run out of cannonballs.

Contemptible Conrad: Why, these three...!

(Contemptible Conrad throws his prosthetic leg at the gang and then falls into the sand.)

Wretched Waldo: Uh, Contemptible Conrad, you should’ve thought about your disability before you threw that.

(Cut to Spud bringing the gang to the island and everyone getting off his back.)

Spud: Well, we're marooned.

Takara: And.. we're not going to be home... for a while... (breaks down in tears)

(Spud and Heymondbeard pat Takara on the back.)

Heymondbeard: Captain, Captain! It's gonna be okay. As long as we have us, we're gonna stick together.

Spud: And we'll find a way to adjust to living. Also, I protected your bums from these cannonballs.

Takara: (sniffles) Yes, that was a very nifty thing to do, but we haven't got a ship!

Spud: At least we still have our map!

Heymondbeard: And our telescope!

Takara: And Contemptible Conrad's leg!

Contemptible Conrad: (offscreen) Give that back!

(Contemptible Conrad snatches his leg from Takara and puts it back on.)

Takara: Contemptible Conrad, why are you such a hothead?

Contemptible Conrad: What part of "go away" did you not understand!

Takara: We don't have a choice. You sunk our ship, so we're gonna have to be on your property.

Contemptible Conrad: You fool! If you and your freak show crew can't go away, then I'll handle things myself!

Takara: You want to take this outside? You actually want to fight me?

Contemptible Conrad: Yes, I want to fight you! Now bring it on!

Takara: Oh, I will bring it on!

(The two run at each other, screaming, until...)

???: Silence!

(A Sandaconda appears behind the two pirates.)

Sandaconda: Tell me your sides of the story! What is the meaning of this fight?

Contemptible Conrad: She and her pirate crew trespassed onto my property!

Takara: Well, he got me and me crew stranded onto this island!

Sandaconda: Well, this is disappointing. First of all, both of you, and to the little Luxio lady, I am King Sandaconda, king of this island, and this is my property, Conrad, not yours!

(The rest of the pirate characters appear behind the two characters.)

Heymondbeard: Please, let us stay!

Takara: Yeah, we haven't gotten ourselves a ship!

Spud: And if the bad guys try to kick us out, we won't have anything to sail on. Except for me, of course.

Wretched Waldo: Don't listen to him!

Contemptible Conrad: They are nothing but total jerks!

King Sandaconda: Normally, I would execute whoever trespasses onto my property, but since these four are marooned, I will allow them to stay! But only because they are desperate.

Wretched Waldo and Contemptible Conrad: No!

(Contemptible Conrad throws his prosthetic leg at the gang, and King Sandaconda takes it from him.)

King Sandaconda: I'll take that!

(Fades to night time. The No Man's Pirates are living in a bamboo hut, and Takara and Heymondbeard are laying in hammocks similar to bunk beds. Takara is on the top hammock, while Heymondbeard is on the bottom hammock, much to his dismay.)

Heymondbeard: Hey, can we trade hammocks?

Takara: Well, I like being on top. Why would I want to trade hammocks with you?

Heymondbeard: Hey, but Captain, you're gonna wet the bed!'

Takara: Dude! I stopped doing that years ago! Besides, I usually wake up to go, anyway! Now shut up and go to sleep!

Heymondbeard: Fine.

(Heymondbeard prepares to sleep.)

Takara: We've had a long day today. It was very nice of King Sandaconda to lend us this old hut.

(Spud is on the other side of the hut, also laying in a hammock.)

Spud: Mmm-hmmm. Not only that, but this might become our new life. As long as we're gonna live here, well, we're gonna have to adjust.

Takara: Mmm-hmmm, you're right, Spud the Brave. Also, no matter what happens to any of us, we're gonna be near and dear to each other. Well, good night, everyone!

Heymondbeard: Night, Captain!'''

Spud: Catch some Z's, peeps!'''

(Everyone goes to sleep, except for Spud.)

Spud: I still didn't have any dessert!

(cut to: The No Man's Pirates are sitting in front of a large screen.)

Spud: By golly, now it's time for...

The No Man's Pirates: Our Pokédex entry of the day!'''&lt;/p&gt;

Takara: And today's Pokémon is...

(Luxio appears onto the screen.)

Takara: Luxio, the Spark Pokémon!

Heymondbeard: Hey, hey, hey, that's right! It's the evolved form of Shinx!

Spud: A Luxio's claws have enough amperage to cause fainting in others!

Takara: Kinda like this!

(Takara shocks Heymondbeard with her claw.)

Heymondbeard: Ow! Hey, what did you do that for?

Takara: I was trying to demonstrate, you knucklehead!

Heymondbeard: Anyways, thanks for coming on our pirate adventure!

Spud: Yup, yup, now it's time to end our show!

Music

 * Title card.
 * Takara says goodbye to family and friends.
 * Kanoa confronts Heymond.
 * Takara shows Mr. Harbour their passes
 * Everyone gets on the boat
 * Takara and her friends out at sea.
 * The thunderstorm.
 * Everyone sails to Smaliland.
 * Flashback.
 * Takara and Heymondbeard walking up to the treasure chest.
 * Contemptible Conrad and Wretched Waldo are encountered once again.
 * Spud is revealed to be captured.
 * The No Man's Pirates get blasted by cannonballs.
 * The cannonball hits the boat.
 * Everyone evacuating the boat.
 * Spud saving the group and eating and Iron Tailing cannonballs
 * Takara cries.
 * Contemptible Conrad and Takara arguing
 * The gang encounters King Sandaconda
 * The ending.