Biggie Bear

Biggie Bear was a notorious South African crime lord and drug dealer from a series of public service announcements made in 2003. He could've also been your best friend! But if you pissed him off, he'd show you who's boss. Biggie Bear was tracked down and assassinated by unknown assailants after he... did very bad things to one of his (presumed) neighbors. Very, very bad things.

Biggie Bear was once considered a great rival of The Beatles (when they were still active lul), a group of equally infamous drug dealers.

HE IS NOT A FURRY. HE IS A REAL BEAR. HE JUST SO HAPPENS TO HAVE A HUMAN FACE AND HUMAN MANNERISMS AND HUMAN URGES TO KILL.

Early life
Biggie Bear's life prior to his involvement with the criminal industry is completely unknown. So what is the point of this section!? I don't know, shut up.

Crimes
Biggie Bear was featured in a series of public service announcements that aired on South African television stations some time in 2003. The PSAs, made by the Parents for Responsible Viewing organization, were intended to bring the issue of family un-friendly entertainment to light.

Murder
The first PSA in the three-part series details the supposedly average life of Biggie Bear, a happy bear (obviously!!!!!!!) with many secrets. His sickly sweet demeanor gets interrupted by this absolute asshole named Mr. Rabbit, who is holding a beach ball and acts like he's top dog running the show. Big Man Biggie Bear tells him repeatedly to go away and that this is HIS SHOW, but Mr. Rabbit, the dipshit, wouldn't go the hell away, so Biggie Bear shoots Mr. Rabbit in the piehole for being a sussy fucking baka (no, not that kind) and a privacy invader. Mr. Rabbit is burning in hell right now. Don't send him any postcards. PLEASE. IT WILL ONLY ENCOURAGE HIM TO KEEP INVADING THE PRIVACIES OF MURDERERS!!!

Not long after the taping of this short, Mr. Rabbit's body was found buried in a mass grave in Biggie Bear's backyard. Mr. Rabbit, strangely enough, was the only actual dead person in the grave. Upon digging the grave up, the police found him lying atop a mountainous pile of Ronald McDonald wigs and Among Us crewmate plushies (ANACHROMISM!!!11!!1!!1!!)

Drug dealing
After the slaying of Mr. Rabbit, Biggie Bear became a staunch mental health activist. He was known far and wide for his increasingly popular mood-boosting methods. They were so trusted that people actually stopped going to their therapy offices.

The second PSA in the series follows Biggie Bear recommending a mood-boosting technique to his depressed friend, a dalmatian dog (omg this is like 101 dalmatian street amirite or amirite) named Mr. Spotty. So since Mr. Spotty is so freakin sad, Biggie Bear, the saint that he is, gives the dog METH! METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH METH breaking bad wishes it was as good as this let's be REAL. walter white founbd dead

Some other third thing
breaking out of character to say im not writing this one out it's too #inappropriate for the wiki

Trivia

 * Whenever I make these kinds of pages I'm always in the midst of a really intense sugar rush. By the time I'm halfway through writing them, I start to crash. #Girlboss

Comments
If you're not getting your meth from an animal with human urges to kill, are you even getting meth at all?

-- Scary Wallpaper, the Wallpaper (talk) 00:07, 17 November 2021 (UTC)