SPONGEBOB LOST EPISODE NUMBER 66666 PATCHY THE PIRATE THE KILLER

ps: i'm sorry if this isn't up to my usual standards i'm kind of ill right now idk if that will change anything i've never really written while ill

part 1: spongebob lost episode lost version
of course everyone knows about the lost episode of spongebob squidward's suicide spongebob bootleg episode idk at this point there's more lost episodes about spongebob than real ones

duh obviously it's the sponge who could fly and the walk cycle!!!! doo doo doo buh buh buh bwep

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ok, i'm just going to put the video there instead if there's one thing i do really badly is putting songs into words sorry i'll stop I'LL STOP

but anyway, like it always is, i was an intern at nickelodeon. OK I'M SORRY, I WASN'T, i was the outern. what the hell is that, idk i just made it up, but basically i got to see the lost episode. in fact i have seen every lost episode of spongebob anyone has ever made up, and lmao some of the plots were insane, and idk how they managed to convince the voice actors to do it and shit, and holy hell i have no idea how there's not been some massive scandal from nickelodeon about the completely disturbing content they've been airing every other day at 3am, but who am i to judge. come on i just make the coffee and see the scary episodes.

remind me to not do what my cousin did when he was an intern at cbs and when he didn't get to be judge judy he pissed in peoples coffee and got fired. actually come to think of it, i haven't heard from him for a while. i wonder if he's ok.

aren't viacom and cbs like the same company?

MUST RUN IN THE FAMILY

so anyway today they said this is what you're watching they got me a vhs tape called spongebob the lost version of the lost episode initially this sounded like confusion but maybe it was the lost version of the sponge who could fly?? and actually i was right.

i mean i have seen three other lost versions of the same episode already but this is going to be EPICCCCCCCCCCCC

ok so then i took this vhs home to my place and put in my vcr/dvdr/vcdr/betamaxr/laserdiscr/blurayr/hddvdvdr/this looks like a bunch of subreddits combined with each other

the first thing that came up was the nickelodeon fish, and it was swimming, BUT THEN A RED SHARK THAT SAID 666 ON IT IN CHILLER TEXT INSTEAD OF BALLOONIST SF OR WHATEVER CAME OVER TO THE FISH AND ATE IT!!!1!!!! AND THERE WAS HYPER REALISITC BLUD EVERYWHERE!!!!! AND THEN IT WAS IN A CAVE WHICH WAS WHY IT WAS BLACK SCREEN AND THEN IT WENT ON THE WATER AND THERE WAS AN ICEBERG AND THE TITANIC CRASHED INTO IT AND EVERYONE WAS DROWNING THERE WERE NO SURVIVORS NOT ANYBODY THE SHARK ATE THEM! GREEDY BASTARD!

MY COUSIN ONCE TOLD ME LAST TIME I EVER TALKED TO HIM ABOUT A SHARK EATING PEOPLE WHAT A COINCIDENCE!! hope it wasn't him

so anyway, it then went to the paramount warning selection screen even though this is a vhs please don't question it, but the only languages were english, french, polish or jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjish, i chose english, then THE BACKGROUND WENT RED THE MOUNTAINS EXPLODED AND EVERYTHING WAS ON FIRE AND SHIT AND IT SAID WARNING YOU ARE ACTUALLY GOING TO DIE IF YOU WATCH THIS SO STOP RIGHT NOW!!!! LIKE NO I AM DEAD SERIOUS THAT YOU'LL BE DEAD DEAD. DON'T WATCH ANY FURTHER BUT TO BE HONEST IF WE DIDN'T WANT YOU TO THERE WOULDN'T BE THE EPISODE ON THE VHS ANYWAY SO IDEFK DO WHATEVER YOU WANT

well that's an incredibly confusing warning but we need the plot to advance i mean curiousity got the better of me so i continued watching

so then it went to a special preview for 'squid game' not sure what that's about but the preview for it was very very very very evyr evry strange...but in comparison to everything else it seemed kind of normal.

after a bunch of normal looking previews about hyper realistic things it finally got to the episode and it showed patchy the pirate in his house and it went like normal he went to find the lost episode of spongebob it was the same then when he found it the tape said spongebob lost episode lost version EXACTLY LIKE MINE and then he put it in BUT THEN IT WAS LITERALLY THE EXACT SAME THING JUST COMPLETELY DEMOLISHING THE FOURTH WALL EVERYTHING WAS THE SAME AND PATCHY WAS LIKE WTF IS THIS SHIT BUT THEN IT DIDN'T GO TO PATCHY IT ACTUALLY WENT TO THE LOST EPISODE AND THEN SPONGEBOB WAS WALKING AND THEN A SQUIRREL (not sandy) AND A HEDGEHOG (not sonic) IN ARMY OUTFITS CAME AND RAN HIM OVER FLAT WITH A TANK THEN IT TUNED INTO SQUIRREL AND HEDGEHOG AND THIS ISN'T THE NON PROPOGANDA FINE TO WATCH MONDO MEDIA DUB IT WAS THE ORIGINAL ONE AND PATCHY THE PIRATE WAS WATCHING IT AND HE WANTED TO GO TO NORTH KOREA AND THEN IT WENT TO THE PART WHERE HE GETS RID OF ALL HIS SPONGEBOB MERCH BUT INSTEAD HE BECAME ALL RED AND GLOWY AND TURNED IT INTO KIM JONG UN MERCH INSTEAD THEN HIS VISIBLE EYE WENT BLACK AND DRIPPING BLACK BLOOD AND WITH RED PUPIL AND SCARY TEETH AND 666 AND HIS HOOK TURNED INTO A FUCKING KNIFE AND THE SKULL ON HIS HAT WAS CRYING BLOOD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

and then potty the parrot flew in and said squuaawk what the fuck

AND THEN PATCHY FORCE FED POTTY CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES AND HE DIED LIKE IN MINECRAFT AND YES I KNOW POTTY ATE COOKIE DOUGH IN THE XMAS EPISODE BUT HE DIED BECAUSE IT WAS CHOCOLATE CHIP THIS TIME

THEN EVERYTHING WAS GOING TO RED STATIC AND THEN PATCHY WENT OUT THE HOUSE AND KILLED EVERYONE ON HIS STREET AND IT WAS SO SCARY SCARIER THAN EVERY OTHER LOST EPISODE COMBINED THEN HE KILLED THEM EVEN MORE AND KILLED THEM REPEATADLY UNITL THEY WERE DED VERY SCARY!

AND THEN EVERYONES HOUSE EXCEPT PATCHY'S EXPLODED INTO THOUSANDS OF PIECES AND THE PEOPLE SAID OH NO OUR TABLE IT'S BROKEN PATCHY SAID DON'T WATCH THIS EPISODE OR YOU'LL DIE SHAME YOU ALREADY DID

THEN A DEMONIC VERSION OF YOU ARE A PIRATE FROM LAZYTOWN WAS PLAYING WHEN IT ZOOMED INTO HIM INTO HYPER REALISITIC DETAIL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AND THEN IT SHOWED THE NICKELODEON LOGO BUT IN RED BLOOD AND IT SAID COPYRIGHT 666 MTV NETWORKS WITH DEPRESSING MUSIC

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THAT WAS THE END OF THE VHS OR I THOUGHT IT WAS BECAUSE AFTER TEN MINUTES OF STATIC IT CAME BACK...

part 2: the actual battle the title was talking about
after ten minutes of static it went back to the episode and patchy the pirate the killer got sucked into some of portal and found himself in some sort of minecraft world but in all opposite colours HOLY SHIT LITERALLY HOLY SHITTING MYSELF and patchy the pirate the killer was all like

bruh?

then there was this guy who was a knight and no it wasn't popularmmos but that's a funny idea but there was some medieval music playing and the knight was dancing and he said

Cry all thoust want

Thy still cant unfuck thoust mother

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and then for no reason he just burst into flames and all his armour melted and burnt his skin and he died

OH WELL THEN THAT WAS IRRELELNENT TO WATS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT

and then after this happened, another portal opened and somebody stepped out and patchy instantly knew who he was

you see it wasn't explicitly stated but patchy had achieved something special, he had achieved a transformation into a POORLY WRITTEN CREPYPESTA CHARACTER, which gave him this special sense to know the rest of the crepypesta characters overseen by herobrene

they were so far


 * jermasus.exe
 * jeremykyle.exe
 * judgejudy.exe
 * the hyper realistic obama twins
 * the league of scary logos
 * avgn.exe
 * glitchgremlin.exe
 * lincolnloud.exe

and i'm leaving one out because that's who just stepped through! i think you might know who it is because it's the joint first one i wrote about properly!

YES BOIS, IT'S DREAMTDM.EXE

except for some reason he was pissed about this newcomer and i would explain why but who the hell wants to know anything about that? FUCK IT, NO CONTEXT IS NEEDED, YOU JUST WANT TO SEE CREPYPESTA CHARACTERS FIGHT EACH OTHER DON'T YOU WHO CARES ABOUT WHY JUST LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOO

and just so you know when i write dream i mean dreamtdm.exe i can't be arsed to write it over and over ok THERE WAS LIKE ALL THIS FUCKING FIRE AND SHIT AND THEN DREAM GOT THE GLOWY PARTICLE EYE LIKE SANS UNDERTALE AND THEN HE RAMMED INTO PATCHY BUT PATCHY DODGED OUT THE WAY AND RAMMED INTO DREAM BUT DREAM DODGED OUT THE WAY AND THEN HE GOT THIS MAGICAL ENCHANTED DIAMOND SWORD its diamond because netherite didn't exist in 2014 WITH SHARPNESS 666 AND THEN PATCHY'S KNIFE HOOK GOT SHARPENS 420 BUT IT HAD SHARPNESS 246 SO THEY WERE EQUAL AND THEN THEY WERE GOING SHWOOP CLANG CLANG SCRATCH DING DING which was their weapons clashing AND THEN THEY STARTED SHOOTING GIGANTIC LASERS AT EACH OTHER THAT BURNED LIKE THE ENERGY OF TEN TRILLION SUNS NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A-JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW SOISOISOISOISOISOISOISOISOISOISOISOISOISOISOISOISOISOISOISOISOISOI that was just microsoft sam passing by NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW he actually got that goggles-mask thing down cause HE CALCULATING WHO TF GONNA DIE PATCHY GONNA DIE AND THEN PATCHY TOOK HIS PATCH OFF AND THERE WAS HYPER REALISTIC LASER EYE NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNWNWNWNWNWWNWNWNWNWNWNWNWNWWNWNWNWNNWNWNWNWNWNWWNNWNWNWNWNWNNWNWNWNNWNWNNWNWNWNWNNWNWNWNWNWNWNWNWNNWNWNWNNWNWNNW PATCHY HALF ROBOT

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNRHMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNSOINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN66666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHmogusKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA just pretend this is some amazing action and not a bunch of random letters O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A-JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A-JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A-JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA and then actually they were really tired and nothing was really happening because they were both shooting really powerful attacks at each other that would burn the world to fucking nothing but just dodging everything so they decided to just have a truce and then they were friends and then something else oh yeah they came out the tv and killed me to deth hyper realistic blood everywhere.

and then...

something i think.

(yawn)

wow i'm really tired of writing that nonsense i'm going to bed night guys

Goodnight

Gn Pancakes ^^

zzzzzzz

ok but not really