How to Make Bad Commercials Good

Crusha Cats Commercial

 * Make it less annoying.
 * The characters are fully hand-drawn instead of being stock photos.
 *  MAKE THE COMMERCIAL LESS UNCANNY. THIS ESPECIALLY INCLUDES THE COW. 

Progressive Sonic Commercial

 * Have Flo talk to Sonic the Hedgehog about going fast.
 * Sonic sounds like his Sonic X counterpart, and not Mickey Mouse. (Well, Sonic sounded like Mickey Mouse for some reason in a Brazilian Sonic 2 commercial, so...)

Eastern Airlines 1971 commercial

 * Replace every Disney character that appear in the commercial with Sesame Street Muppets.
 * have it not banned and air during disney channel commercial breaks

HeadOn Commercial

 * Better green screen effect.
 * It mentions how the medicine works.
 * Most importantly, no redundant use of "HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead."

Eggo Monster Commercial

 * Turn the waffle into the monster instead of the girl.
 * Better animation

Confused.com Commercial

 * Better animation.
 * They will never steal "YMCA". (Just because it sounds similar doesn't mean they stole it.)

1-800 Victim2 Commercial

 * Better animation.
 * The squirrel wasn't the Mexican stereotype.
 * Better plot.

Duet Commercial

 * Better animation.
 * Tone down the adult humor.

Norton Furniture Commercial

 * Rather than that Marc Brown from the commercial. Add in that Marc Brown who created Arthur Read.
 * The Frog on the Couch was an animated character.

Liberty Mutual Commercials

 * Make the jingle less annoying. (Example: Add in other words than just "Liberty" and let it slow down.)
 * Another example: Sing "Liberty" only once, not four times.
 * Replace Limu with an anthropomorphic 2D animated eagle named "Eaglon", since emus mainly belong to Australia and not the US.
 * Make Doug less annoying.
 * Better animation for the helicopter.
 * Change the Limu/Eaglon theme song to make it more Looney Tunes-like.
 * Change the color schemes to red, white and blue (but not yellow, white and dark blue) to represent the American flag.
 * This means the helicopter Limu/Eaglon and Doug are riding on is red and blue with white stripes instead of pure yellow and dark blue.
 * Add in the Herbie car as an Easter Egg.

Progressive Park Commercial

 * Make the announcer less annoying.
 * Rename the Traffic Jam roller coaster ride "Drive Safe".
 * Rename the Never Bump Bumper Car ride "However Bump Bumper Cars"

Gushers Commercial

 * Make the fruit headed children less creepy.

Gali the Alligator

 * Gali is less creepy.
 * Gali is not that murderous.

GrubHub Delivery Dance

 * The people don't look like they came from The Lorax or Norm of the North.
 * With that being said, make it live action instead of it being CGI animated.
 * Everyone does generally awesome dances instead of cringeworthy and hilariously bad dances. Some people will do complex dances while some will dance more casually.
 * Replace the music with "Here Comes the Sun" by Bill Wurtz.
 * Use the Among Drip theme instead
 * The milkshake girl doesn't break her bones (i.e., doesn't do the splits), and the couple doesn't eat their sushi in a dangerous way (lower risk of choking).
 * It ends with the dad dancing in the kitchen with the delivery man walking in and staring at the dad awkwardly before placing the bag down and slowly walking back.

Introducing Amazon Echo

 * Better dialogue.
 * Funnier.
 * More smarter questions.
 * Have the mother never yell at Alexa.
 * The soundtrack was classicy, Astro Boy-esque looking and great.
 * The teenaged girl will never yell at or slap the boy.
 * The father was smart.
 * Give the little girl more personalities.
 * The boy is less annoying.
 * The teen girl was nostalgic.

The Best Men Can Be (Gillette)

 * The commercial never demonizes all men.
 * Never explain things, like playing wrestling.
 * No sexual harassment.
 * Hire the man to direct the commercial.

McDonald's Pakistan Commercials.

 * Hello Kitty never had a mouth.
 * The characters weren't that creepy.
 * Neo Cortex had the same face as he did in Crash games.
 * He also had yellow skin.
 * Cream and Rouge look more like they did the Sonic games
 * Great animation.
 * Replace the MIDI music with their own soundtrack.
 * Have its own "I'm lovin' it" jingle instead of the Japanese one.
 * Better dialogue.
 * Crash Bandicoot's mouth was a bit smaller.
 * Better singing.
 * Make the voices less annoying.
 * More research on character designs.

Protegent Commercials

 * Other than rap, Proto sing more songs by genres, like Jazz, Garage Band, Broadway, Countrypolitan and Spaghetti Western.
 * The rap song was not cringe worthy.
 * Better voice acting and animation.
 * Proto looks nothing like Super Why.
 * Have both the commercials and software be made in 1998. Also, make the actual product not a virus.

McDonald's Japan SpongeBob commercial

 * The kids will never scream.

Geico - Cabbage Patch Kids

 * Never call them "Cabbage Patch Adult"
 * More like the 80s.

Gamestop Super Smash Bros. Ultimate commercial

 * The costumes weren't that creepy.

Ford Sailor Moon commercial

 * The characters aren't shilling cars.

Got Milk Pillsbury commercial

 * Dough Boy never gets tortured.

Burger King Square Butts commercial

 * Never steal "Baby Got Back".
 * The King sing the SpongeBob theme song instead.

Wrigley's Dog Breath commercial

 * Never vomit up a dog, but instead he will buy a dog.

Smoking Fetus

 * Wipe that commercial from the existence.
 * Or better yet, change the Smoking Fetus into a Cooking Fetus.

Sponge Cake DS commercial

 * No swearing.
 * The boy behaves very well.

Ice Age Family Guy Commercial

 * Add in the "Bad squirrel! My nuts! My nuts!" cutaway gag.

Play-Doh Dog Doctor Commercial

 * The dog costume is better.

Kraft Win-Win Commercials

 * Don't encourage bad behavior.
 * Don't encourage parents to give in to their bratty children's demands.

That stupid Creative Roots commercial

 * Make the premise better. She sips her drink and accomplishes... picking up a model planet.
 * IT'S. 👏 "DEHYDRATED." 👏 NOT. 👏 "UNDERHYDRATED." 👏 YOU. 👏 DUMB. 👏 FUCK.

Disney Channel Sponsor Commercials

 * Disney Channel says the product's true purpose instead of that educational mumbo jumbo (""friendship"; "imagination").

Any diaper commercial that features a recently-born baby being held by their emotional mother

 * Wipe them from existence. It may be beautiful, but it's a personal and intimate moment. Not appropriate.

3am Pampers commercial
(Or if you want to do it the other way)
 * Make it into a condom ad :)
 * Not having a baby cry.
 * Replace "Pop Goes the Weasel" with "Rock-a-bye Baby."

Geico - The Gecko meets Rocky and Bullwinkle

 * Make it 2D, the CGI design are creepy

Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island "Still the Big One" commercial

 * Have the man eat heathy food instead.
 * The man never explodes after eating.

NES "You Cannot Beat Us" Commercial

 * Have the commercial animated in 2D.
 * Better voice acting.

Credit Karma "Perfect Apartment" commercial

 * Recut the girl on the right's bangs so they don't look so greasy.
 * Remove the "15-minute drive to work!" "Dude! Dude!" "I knooow!" dialog. It is so cringey!
 * The word "dude" is NOT said at all, actually.
 * Remove the "Eyes over there, dude. This apartment's her's." dialog as well. It is also very cringey. YOU ARE IN A PUBLIC SPACE SURROUNDED BY MANY PEOPLE, OF COURSE PEOPLE ARE GOING TO SEE WHAT YOU ARE DOING.
 * Make it more consisent. How would the bitch not know what a credit score is EVEN THOUGH SHE WAS GOING TO BUY AN APARTMENT?