How To Make Good Video Games Bad

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

 * Make Navi talk more and have her automatically talk for you.
 * You'll never make it past Kaepora Gaebora (the Annoying Owl) because of the two options titled "Yes".
 * Remove a majority of the collectibles.
 * Remove the "Golden Skull Token" Sidequest and the awards you get from playing through it.
 * Make the game's bosses even MORE low-quality than they already are.

ARMS

 * Remove Kid Cobra.
 * Caillou is a playable character (And he wins the Party Crash Bash!)
 * Party Crash (with the exception of the Party Crash Bash) doesn't exist.
 * Add product placement (at the start of every Grand Prix, and after each battle, not counting the end-boss)
 * The game is even more of a Street Fighter clone than it already is.
 * Min Min never makes it into Smash.

Super Mario 64

 * Not remaking it for the DS because I like playing as Yoshi and Weegee and Wario.
 * Yeah, that and not remaking it would annoy those who don't own an N64.
 * Include Navi from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time to annoy Mario.
 * Not making it in 3D.
 * Get rid of all the caps and replace them with useless power-ups.

Super Mario World

 * Remove Yoshi and replace him with a bland, useless dinosaur.
 * Make all the Special World levels harder to the point where it's impossible to beat them.
 * After beating the game, you get the text saying "YOU BEAT GAME. YOU WIN."
 * Remove the Cape Feather.
 * The music is monotone.
 * Make the Dolphins ugly.
 * The first level is Tubular.
 * Remove the P-Balloons.
 * Remove the Note Blocks.
 * Not remaking it for the Game Boy Advance.

Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga

 * Cackletta is finally defeated once and for all in Woohoo Hooniversity.
 * Fawful is absent.
 * Bowser is the final boss (not as Bowletta, but just regular Bowser).
 * And of course, one hit and Bowser's done for. Thus, making it the last Mario game to have Bowser be battled.
 * And also the first Mario game to make Bowser become a lame, pathetic, useless, and weak character who doesn't get any respect, doesn't get battled at all, and of course, everyone gets his name wrong. (Something that you'll see later on)
 * And also make him become a Megward the Wizard-type character.
 * Popple is fought only once.
 * No Advanced Commands.
 * Not remaking it for the 3DS.

Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door

 * Replace the old gameplay with Sticker Star and Color Splash's gameplay.
 * Make Doopliss as a partner instead of Vivian.
 * When I think about that, that means Doopliss will be very OP for a partner.
 * Make sure Bowser doesn't get battled at all.
 * Thus Bowser will be pointing out the wonders of why he never gets to be battled in this game.
 * Remove Smorg from Chapter 6.
 * Shadow Queen doesn't possess Peach at all, but she does possess Bowser somehow (but since Bowser's not fought in this game, it surely doesn't count as a Bowser boss fight, however).

Super Mario Kart

 * Add useless power ups.
 * Remove Rainbow Road and Donut Plains.
 * Add a lot of glitches.
 * Add a course based on toilet humor.

Mario Kart Wii

 * Only including Mario, Luigi, Yoshi, Peach, Toad, Bowser, Wario, and Donkey Kong, like in Mario Kart 64 and Mario Kart: Super Circuit.
 * Not having the retro tracks.
 * Not having the Rainbow Road and Bowser's Castle famous tracks.
 * No bikes or optional karts.
 * Make it difficult to control the characters, and the controls respond inappropriately.
 * Remove Mushroom Gorge, Koopa Cape, Maple Treeway and Dry Dry Ruins.
 * Add loads and loads and loads of glitches.

Mario Kart 7

 * Remove the Retro Tracks and the new Rainbow Road.
 * Remove the Unlockable content.
 * Make it so you can't play as a Mii.
 * Make Battle Mode like it was in Mario Kart 8.
 * No vehicle customization.
 * No gliders.
 * No underwater movement.

Mario Kart 8

 * No anti-gravity.
 * Add stupid characters as cart characters.
 * Add useless power ups.
 * There's no guardrails.

Puyo Puyo Tetris (we all saw this coming)

 * Have Tee be called "LOLMLG420BOB", and have Ess be called "FLAPPYBIRDDANKMEME".
 * Have a character named Ey in place of Ex.
 * Re-name O "0". This will confuse people worldwide.
 * Everyone dies in the ending.
 * Make Jay and Elle earrape in the English version.

Pokemon (series)

 * No professor welcoming you to Pokemon.
 * No Boy player﻿. (ur sexist)
 * The name of your trainer is automatically selected as either "LOLMLG420BOB" or "FLAPPYBIRDDANKMEME" depending on which version you choose.
 * Have Magikarp be all of the starter Pokemon. In the Sun and Moon games, all the starters are Sunkern.
 * No Master Balls, Great Balls, or any other variation of Pokeballs.
 * Have all of the stater Pokemon and their evolutions not able to use any HMs or TMs.
 * Have every Pokemon game use the same ugly style Pokemon sprites that is used in Pokemon Red, Blue & Green.
 * You ever wanted to see what the Gen. II-Gen. VII Pokemon would be like in that? Me neither.
 * Then all the Pokémon we have today would be hideous! AAGH! Wait, I probably shouldn't have said that.
 * No evolution stones/items or trading. (not even Wonder Trading either)
 * No abilities.
 * The weather doesn't change.
 * Pikachu is replaced with an ugly rat named Rattachu. Also, it can't evolve.
 * Whenever your Pokemon faints, it dies instead.
 * No "TM/HM slave" Pokemon like Bibarel.
 * Remove good pokemon like Charizard, Sylveon, Weavile and Volcarona.
 * All the pokemon that exist are Smoochum, Zubat, Woobat, Furfrou, Jynx, Smeargle, Helioptile, Sunflora, Sunkern, Goomy and Magikarp.
 * Remove Eevee and the Eeveelutions.

PokePark Series

 * Pikachu is a serial killer.

PokePark 2 Wonders Beyond)

 * Make Tepig perverted and like buttsex.
 * Darkrai likes to smoke cigarettes and weed.
 * Also, Darkrai is renamed "Dankrai." :)
 * Replace Wish Park with "Hell".

New Super Mario Bros. Wii

 * Not incuding the Propeller Mushroom and Penguin suit. Some of like like flying and hate swimming!
 * No multiplayer.
 * Wario & Waluigi are the true final bosses of the game, and they do the most anti-climatic final boss stuff they did in that article's version of Hotel Mario.

New Super Mario Bros. U

 * No multiplayer.
 * Replace the Super Acorn with a useless power-up.
 * Remove the Baby Yoshis.
 * Every single level is taken from New Super Mario Bros. Wii.
 * Remove Nabbit.

Super Scribblenauts

 * Make Death, nuke, black hole, flood, and nuclear ___________. Make sure all are activated. Run towards all of them at the same time.
 * That would be impossible to do in any circumstance.

Super Mario Galaxy 2

 * Not having Yoshi or Yoshi power-ups.
 * Not having Luigi ghosts.
 * Having Clockwork Ruins a lot harder.
 * Make the final stage (The Ultimate Test) even more impossible than it already is.
 * Remove all other power-ups Mario can obtain.
 * You don't get the option to play as Luigi.
 * Remove all of the Lumas.
 * The Perfect Run is the first level.

Super Paper Mario

 * Make an area based on toilet-humor.
 * Dimentio is absent.
 * Fracktail lets you pass very easily.
 * Bowser is not battled, just like in this article's Thousand Year Door, yet he's still playable somehow.
 * Thus, the Bowser battle is replaced with Princess Peach announcing a divorce with Bowser (which I can admit will be very funny).
 * Mr. L is only fought once (and is only caused by Luigi getting amnesia).
 * Make Tippi very annoying.
 * Oh yeah, and after defeating Count Bleck, Tippi fuses with him and becomes the ultimate final boss, which happens to be a fusion of Tippi and Count Bleck, known as "Countess Morphomatter". She replaces Super Dimentio, because, well, the second bullet.
 * Perhaps Tippi acts like Dimentio later on when I said it? Who knows?
 * Also, after this game, the Paper Mario series ends after Super Paper Mario, which is probably for the better or for the worse.

Portal

 * Remove the cake promise.
 * Make the lighting outside the test chambers darker.
 * Remove the humorous and memorable quotes in favor of lame, cheesy jokes.

Any good game

 * Remove replay value
 * Have rather ugly looking box art
 * Have product placement in the game and have the characters say "Buy (insert product advertised in the game here) or die!".
 * Add very long passwords.
 * Release them only for the Atari 5200, Philips CD-i, Atari Jaguar, Virtual Boy, 3DO, Game.com, R-Zone, Sega Dreamcast, Sega Saturn, Sega CD, Sega 32X, and other failed consoles.
 * Mix up the characters' names.
 * Let the bomb hit you a mile away.
 * Add useless weapons and/or powerups.
 * Make it produced by Kemco or any bad game company.
 * Make it published by LJN or any bad game company.
 * Make the single player really short and the multiplayer really long (any modern game)

Mega Man (series)

 * Have all of the weapons be short ranged
 * Remove continues
 * Remove Rush Jet (Mega Man 3-5)
 * Include a ton of spikes and other instant death traps in every stage
 * Make the Mega Man sprite look like the one from the first box art (You know, the American box art?).
 * Add useless power-ups.

Contra

 * Have no machine gun and spread gun power ups.
 * No 30 lives code.
 * Make it only a one player game.
 * Remove the ducking.

Super Street Fighter II

 * Not having Ryu and Ken.
 * Not having Balrog, Vega, Sagat, and M. Bison be playable.
 * Only having one stage to fight in.
 * No Hadoken and Shoryuken special moves.
 * Not remaking it for Game Boy Advance.

FNAF1

 * The animatronics are cheesier than Kraft Macaroni and Cheese Pasta.
 * After completing the game and the custom night, have white text that reads "CONGRATULATION YOU BEAT THE GAME YOU WIN".
 * Replace the jumpscares with a cut to static and a black screen with white text reading "NICE TRY. YAY!"
 * Have it cause yet another Gaming Crash. Undertale would help fix this.

FNAF2

 * Not having a Freddy head.
 * After finishing the minigames, you get white text reading "YOU FINISH MINIGAME. YAY."

FNAF3

 * Making all of the Phantom Animatronics capable of getting you a game over.
 * Having the 6th and final night impossible to win.
 * Making Springtrap appear more often

FNAF4

 * Make "Fun With Plushtrap" impossible to win.
 * When you do win it, have white text reading "Congratulation!! Nice try for you!"
 * Exclude all scenes before every night.
 * Make Nightmare crash your game instead of resetting it.
 * After finishing the game, have white text reading "Congratulation!! You have finished the FNAF games. And prooved why Chuck E. Cheese's is better than this garbage. Now end your hallucination, and go and rest our hero!"

Sonic Adventure 2

 * Get rid of Shadow
 * Make Shadow be the Biolizard and the Hedgehog the prototype
 * The music for City Escape is Justin Bieber.

Super Mario Bros. (NES)

 * Please include that everything could go wrong in this game. 😱
 * Have it cause another Gaming Crash. Sega should fix this in either way.
 * After finishing the game, have white text that reads "YOU WIN. PRESS ANY BUTTON TO CONTINUE."
 * The Toad that says "Our princess is in another castle!" says "You are idiot. Princess is in the non-exist castle."

GTA 3

 * After completing "The Exchange", have white text that reads "A winner is you!".

GTA: Vice City

 * Remove Phil.
 * Entitle the game "Tommy Vercetti & Knuckles & the sky".

GTA: San Andreas

 * Have the player lose the damn train.

GTA: Liberty City Stories

 * Have the protagonist be an Italian chef named Oliver.
 * Then the wasted text would be "YOU PASTA WAY", amirite ladies?

Undertale

 * Have all of the default BGMs be heavy metal music (I mean, every single song).
 * Have Sans watch the Mega Babies.
 * Have Undyne's cooking taste good, and have that influence Papyrus to make good spaghetti.
 * Toriel is an ugly troll instead of a goat mom. So are Asriel and Asgore.
 * After completing all levels and the game, have white text reading "Conglaturation!!! You have completed a great game. And prooved the justice of our culture. Now go and rest our heroes!"
 * Make the game's bosses bad as opposed to good.
 * Same with Flowey the Flower, for some reason, but the alignment of his is flipped, until after defeating Asgore.
 * Therefore, Flowey will be considered to be a twist villain (a villain who wasn't really evil at first, but later down the line, we find out that he's actually evil).
 * Make it so Papyrus isn't hilarious.
 * Remove the dialogue during battles.
 * This game somehow manages to combine most, if not, all of the elements of all three routes, but stuff like Chara, Omega Flowey, and some other things are removed.
 * During the battle with Sans, he still dies in one hit, but he doesn't dodge attacks from you right after he uses the first attack, thus making the battle against Sans very, very, very  ,   very   ,    very    ,    very    ,     very     ,      very      , anti-climactic.

Deltarune
We're not sure how to ruin this game. But, there's only one way to make this game bad....
 * Make the game look weird, sound weird, Jevil can turn into a giant baked potato on wheels with a face.

Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends (video game)

 * After finishing the railroad racing event in the Genesis version, have white text that reads "YOU HAVE WINNED RACE. CONGRATULATION!"
 * Have all versions cause yet another gaming crash. Nintendo would fix it this time.

Diddy Kong Racing

 * You only get to control a slippery car.
 * No cool power-ups.
 * Have only Diddy Kong be playable.
 * Add extremely long passwords.
 * Tons of glitches.
 * The music is just mindless screaming over and over again.
 * After completing the game, the text "CONGRATULATION, YOU BEAT GAME! GOOD NIGHT!" appears.
 * Make Donkey Kong the main villain, and reduce Wizpig's role to a background character.
 * Why bother having to make DK the main antagonist? To be fair, it would be out of character for DK because he's friends with Diddy Kong, but who cares, this can ruin this game.

Yo-Kai Watch

 * Make the game very short, with only five hours dedicated to the story.
 * Should you happen to own a pirated version of the game, Terror Time is triggered as soon as you try to find Yo-Kai to defeat Dismerelda, and there is no exit door, so the terror finds you immediately. This is similar to what happens if you have a pirated copy of Serious Sam 3.
 * The game's script has unfunny and childish jokes.
 * Add a lot of toilet humor.
 * The most common Yo-Kai are ones like Cheeksqueak, Fidgephant, and Touphant.
 * Add Yo-Kai based on gross-out humour.
 * The Crank-A-Kai gives out terrible Yo-Kai.

Star Wars: Twilight of the Republic playset

 * Make the podrace extremely hard.
 * Jar Jar is a main character.
 * Have a part where you go to Otoh Gunga to help Boss Nass and the Gungans.
 * Jar Jar doesn't call Darth Maul a "nasty creepo".

Inside Out playset

 * Make Anger swear more.
 * There is a shorter time limit to finish the levels.
 * Naked baby Riley makes a cameo.
 * Have there be 1,000 balloons to collect each level.
 * Bing Bong appears and his only purpose is to make toilet jokes.

Aikatsu! (Japanese arcade game)

 * If you choose Otome, she says "LOVE YOUUUU!" every time she does an appeal.
 * Make the game extremely hard.

Pripara (Japanese arcade game)

 * There are terrible Pritickets given out.

Final Fantasy VI

 * Remove Celes and Relm.
 * Remove the unique battle scenarios.
 * Remove Ultros.
 * Remove the opera scene.
 * Make it so Kefka isn't hilarious.
 * Figaro Castle is a bland old castle instead of a moving one.
 * Include several more swear words.

Touhou 6: Embodiment of the Scarlet Devil

 * The game's dialogue is replaced by a narration with no humour whatsoever.
 * Remilia is an annoying brat as opposed to a shady beauty.
 * You can only play on Lunatic mode.
 * When playing as Reimu, you can only use Reimu A. Likewise, when playing as Marisa, you can only use Marisa B.
 * Patchouli has no water or wood spells. In addition, she gains a new attack called Fire and Metal Sign "Forged Iron Casting", which is either pathetically weak or beyond overpowered.

PaRappa the Rapper

 * Parappa is an aggressive wolf instead of a friendly dog.
 * PJ is a circus bear cub who cries sometimes over his dead mom, and he cries so loudly that you can hardly hear other characters.
 * The character designs are reminiscent of a mix between Clutch Cargo and the style of jayleedraws from DeviantArt.
 * BONUS: Everyone's also got big lips, which are also syncro-vox mouths.
 * One word: YIFF!
 * The town Parappa & friends live in is called: "Rodney Town" instead of "PaRappa Town".
 * The game sponsors Wendy's because the group orders drinks called "Frosty" in the good version.
 * BONUS: While we're at it, replace the Chunky Burger restaurant from the opening cutscene with a Wendy's one.
 * The game also sponsors Lipton.
 * Parappa calls Sunny "Sunny-chan", like in the anime.
 * Katy Kat is voiced by Shannon White (her actor in PaRappa 2).
 * Instead of "I Gotta Believe!", Parappa's catchphrase is "Rrrrrrrrrrr! Arf! Arf!".
 * Parappa's raps are bland, annoying, and boring, with way too many swears.
 * The controls respond inappropriately.
 * BONUS: The timing is even more strict, making it almost impossible.
 * On top of that, add loads and loads and loads of glitches.
 * Mooselini is played by Jake Paul.
 * In the 3rd stage, Parappa gets stoned out of his mind and sells drugs with Fleaswallow and mumbles incoherently instead of rapping.
 * In the 4th stage, Cheap Cheap's recipe calls for baby chicks instead of just eggs, making PJ cry in the process (he gets added to the stage just to "drown [his] sorrows in food").
 * The bathroom rap is the Pee-Pee Dance from Teen Titans GO!.
 * BONUS: Parappa actually shits himself in that stage, even when you win.
 * That cheesy love song that plays before Stage 6, "Funny Luv", is shittyfluted.
 * Sunny-chan never falls in love with Parappa, therefore he pisses on her in one cutscene, and then shouts "BARF LIKE YOU MEAN IT!" to the players.
 * Instead of a lemon, Sunny-chan's haus is a giant ВИD Mask.
 * Every time you lose, there will be text that says "NICE TRY. YAY!"
 * Remove the PaRappa The Rapper 2 teaser screen from after the credits.
 * The remaster doesn't exist.

Um Jammer Lammy

 * Keep the original title, but give it the subtitle: "Almost PaRappa, But Not Quite".
 * Lammy is an aggressive and bad-tempered goat with uber-sharp horns instead of a shy lamb.
 * BONUS: She'll accidentally stab people with her horns.
 * Like its predecessor, the songs are bland, annoying, and boring, with way too many swears.
 * The inappropriate controls, stricter timing, tons of glitches, and bad designs with big lips also return from the aforementioned game.
 * Shannon White returns as Katy.
 * Instead of "Dojo, Casino, it's all in the mind...", Chop Chop Master Onion will say: "Ass, Titties, it's all in the mind...".
 * Instead of "Leave It To... Lammy!!", Lammy's catchphrase is "Duuuuuuuuh, Allahu akbar!" (when she says it, an explosion takes place in the background, and then she'll say "Did I do that?" ).
 * The U.S.A. censored version of Stage 6 and its cutscenes is much creepier, and is in all international releases.
 * Lammy becomes naked as a result of her flying through time.
 * In the 6th stage, everyone's on fire, due to it being a Hellish volcanic island.
 * Also in that stage, the song is a sad, rock-ballad version of "Don't You Forget About Me" by Simple Minds.
 * BONUS: Teriyaki Yoko's voice is even worse than before (they're also a complete slut).
 * Remove the fourth wall breaking and visual puns.
 * Katy and Lammy are homophobic stereotypes.
 * Parappa's Story is in it, but even more choppier and glitchier, almost impossible to even load.
 * A (n almost nonexistent) cutscene in Parappa's Story sponsors Wendy's, like in the first game.
 * No 2-player/Battle Mode.
 * All the Um Jammer Lammy NOW! (the arcade version) machines are recalled from every single person who owned one so they all are destroyed, therefore making it completely lost media.

PaRappa The Rapper 2
one word:
 * Everything from the previous games return, with even worse graphics than before.
 * MORE innuendos!
 * Like in Um Jammer Lammy, all the censorships are in all international releases.
 * Parappa turns into an actual baby when Sunny-chan calls him such. When it happens, he bleeds out of his ass due to diaper rash and shouts "BARF LIKE YOU MEAN IT!" to the players.
 * The game solely exists to sponsor McDonald's.
 * BONUS: Replace the Beard Burgers restaurant with a McDonald's one.
 * Instead of a show about Romantic Karate in the 2nd stage, it's a a show about how to have sex, and Parappa and PJ do the dirty in front of the 2 shrunken dads. At the end of the stage, they stare eye to eye as they poke each other's eyeballs out.
 * BONUS: It's revealed that Chop Chop Master Onion's head has turned into noodles.
 * Moosesha is played by Logan Paul.
 * Hairdresser Octopus is both a racist stereotype and a homophobic stereotype.
 * In addition to replacing all other foods with noodles, the Noodle Syndicate also wants to rid the world of rap music and replace it with nursery rhymes.
 * Colonel Noodles wears a suit made entirely out of noodles; even his underpants are made of noodles.
 * Colonel Noodles's mom actually died from too much burgers.
 * The Noodle Syndicate takes over the world and Sunny-chan still thinks Parappa's a baby, rendering the game pointless. POINTLESS I SAY.
 * The cheesy love song that plays before Stage 8, "Come A Long Way", is shittyfluted.
 * No Battle Mode/V.S. CPU.
 * After beating the game all 4 times (including all the hats) you get text saying "CONGRATULATION! YOU WIN! YOU BEAT GAME. YOU REACH END OF SERIES. NO MORE. NOW GO AND REST YOUR BRAIN CELLS, OUR HERO. GOODNIGHT.".

'C H  I  N  E  S  E'

Friday Night Funkin'

 * Let's start with the obvious: Girlfriend is naked throughout the whole game.
 * Another obvious: Replace "Funkin' " in the title with "Fuckin' ".
 * The title theme is replaced with the CRAZYBUS title theme.
 * Instead of singing patterns, the player and opponent shoot each other to the beat (shields will be present).
 * It'll be rendered a cheap DDR and PTR clone. Wait....
 * The songs are bland, annoying, and boring.
 * When you defeat Daddy Dearest in Week 1, he has a heart attack, and Parappa's soul will appear from the body, saying that he's been freed, and then he ascends.
 * In Week 4, Mommy Mearest will try to rape your character, and the only way to get out is to, of course, shoot her to death.
 * Skid and Pump don't appear.
 * Pico's voice isn't pitched up.
 * BONUS: Boyfriend cheats on Girlfriend with him at the end of the level, as it was confirmed at one point that he's bi, and they were exes.
 * Captain/Tankman is a zombie that somehow doesn't try to turn you into one.
 * The battle with Monster/Lemon Demon is the final song in the final week, as he kills you at the end, even when you win.
 * Make all the mods canon. All of them. (which means.... ohhh nooo).

Rhythm Heaven series
For the sake of US people, only the US games will count.

All

 * The timing is very strict.
 * There are no medals.
 * Only two evaluations, "Good" and "Try Again".

Rhythm Heaven Fever

 * Remove "Ringside".

Kid Icarus: Uprising

 * Palutena isn't hilarious.
 * Remove the customisable weapon selections.
 * All stages force you to play on the intensity they want you to play on.
 * Pit's design is his Of Myths and Monsters design.
 * What was wrong with that design?
 * I don't hate the design, but keeping the OMaM design would make him look out of place in the game in my opinion.
 * Remove Powers.
 * Remove Viridi.

First game

 * The first level is only Gargantuars and you only have Gold Magnet.
 * Make the game a generic war game where the plants are replaced with turrets and the zombies are replaced with soldiers.
 * The final boss is Wario and Waluigi, and just like in NSMBW and Hotel Mario, it's incredibly anticlimactic.
 * Marijuana is a plant.
 * Wait, what?

Second game

 * The first level is only gargantuars and you only have Toadstool.
 * Every boss is Multistage Masher.
 * All sun producers are premiums, and cost 100 dollars (in real money).
 * Penny is the final boss.
 * Ankylosauruses are in every level.

Heroes

 * Every card except Small-nut and Imp are legendary rarity.
 * The first level is only Zombot 1000 and you only have Seedling.
 * Instead of heroes, you get house types, and they are painfully generic.

Super Princess Peach

 * Have it say "Girls Only!" on the front cover. This makes the game sexist.
 * Remove Perry the Umbrella and replace him with a useless sidekick.
 * Get rid of the Vibes.
 * You don't get 100 Coins for defeating any of the game's bosses.

Yoshi's Island

 * Have Burt the Bashful be the boss of every fort.
 * And everytime he gets fought, he gets a bit angrier and a bit tougher.
 * Oh yeah, and he can also cause earthquakes and such.
 * Remove Yoshi's transformations.
 * Not remaking it for the Game Boy Advance.
 * Poochy Ain't Stupid is the first level.
 * Have there be only 5 worlds or less.
 * Make the battle against Baby Bowser have way too many phases. (Maybe like 5 phases or more)
 * And the very last phase is.........wait for it...........another Burt the Bashful.
 * A very, very angry and very, very swole Burt the Bashful.
 * Yoshi can only throw his eggs straight forward.
 * Remove the star that transforms Baby Mario into Caped Baby Mario

Yoshi's Island DS

 * Every level is taken from Yoshi's Island.
 * Remove all of the babies.
 * Add more!

Yoshi's New Island (Even if it is a worthless game)

 * Three little words, t-posing chickens. (Actually, that's one letter with two words after it.)
 * Add more!

Overwatch

 * Get rid of the Support heroes.
 * In addition, remove all skins that aren't the default ones.
 * Don't forget removing the victory poses that aren't default!
 * No voice lines that aren't the default either!
 * Sombra's hacking abilities are replaced with Minecraft building skills. In addition, she also cannot be invisible.
 * D.Va is changed to an Asian stereotype named Ching-Chang who isn't a Tank hero, but rather a background character that serves no relevance to the plot.
 * No credits or loot boxes.
 * Junkrat is replaced with a polished, well-behaved 13 year old named Benjamin who's weapon is a harmless 1 carat diamond, which brings little to no damage upon enemies.
 * If you choose Pharah, she says "اللعنة لك! (lit. Fuck you!)" in a high-pitched, thick Arabic accent.
 * Players are stuck on the low levels, with the highest being 5.
 * No Quick Play or Practice Range.
 * The game constantly glitches and lags.
 * No voice channel or chat while playing with other players.
 * The maximum amount of ammunition a hero can have is 10.
 * No sniper heroes.
 * Replace Mei with another Asian stereotype named Oichi who acts like Orihime from Bleach.
 * The music is just 6 year old kids screaming into a microphone to the tune of hit pop songs of the respective year. (i.e In 2016, you get kids screaming to the tune of "Bad Blood" by Taylor Swift)
 * Ugly-looking box art which shows Tracer snorting cocaine with her girlfriend Emily while a TV in the background is showing an episode of The Nutshack.
 * The characters often shout homophobic slurs at Tracer (it has been confirmed in a comic that she is a lesbian)
 * Same with Soldier: 76. He's gay.
 * hashtag love wins <3
 * Have product placement in it and have McCree say "Buy (insert product advertised here) or it'll be high noon! As in "high noon", it means I'll kill you!"
 * It mainly shows product placement for McDonald's, Yankee Candle, the iPad pro and Kidz Bop and Mini Pop Kids CDs.
 * All of the powerups are bad.
 * The shading and lighting are both put in places where it shouldn't be a la Super K/Kiara The Brave.
 * The controls are extra sloppy.
 * The graphics look like something out of the Japanese Pokémon Red and Green releases.
 * Whenever someone kills you, you can't play as the hero that got killed again. (i.e If you play as Junkrat Benjamin and you die, this means you cannot play as him again)
 * And because of that, you'll have to find a way to play as them again, or maybe just hack into the game and somehow revive them.
 * Include the cast of Kuu Kuu Harajuku and Paddy The Pelican as playable heroes.
 * WHAT
 * Give it scary vibes.
 * Winston is replaced with a normal, everyday gorilla that does not have the ability to speak.
 * The artwork and designs are done by first graders.
 * Forced educational and family-unfriendly aesops are forced in whenever you get a kill streak.
 * Zarya is de-aged to a toddler and is a spoiled brat. Much alike D.Va Ching-Chang, Zarya also serves as an irrelevant, unplayable background character.
 * There's a playable character whose weapon is beyond overpowered and can shoot everyone or everything in one single hit.
 * Wrecking Ball is replaced with a person in a hamster fursuit.
 * Symmetra is an extremely offensive autism stereotype who constantly screeches and uses fidget spinners in place of sentry turrets.
 * Replace Doomfist with the Ugandan Knuckles queen.
 * Make all of the gross porn and fetish art canon. I'm sorry.

Digimon World

 * Make Numemon, Sukamon, and Nanimon the ONLY Champion-level Digimon that Rookie-level Digimon can evolve to

Doom/The Ultimate Doom

 * Every track is replaced with the Doom song
 * THAT ACTUALLY MIGHT BE GOD?????//
 * EVERY ENEMY IS A HITSCANER
 * REPLACE THE CACODEMON WITH CACADEMON, THAT POOPS ON YOU SO IT'S UNFUNNY

Ape Escape 1

 * Not remaking it for the PSP.
 * Retitle it "Alt Escape 3"
 * then Ape Escape 2 and 3 are named Alt Escape 4 and 5, respectively
 * Now I may wanna wonder what Alt Escape 1 and 2 will look like.
 * Get rid of Jake.

Sonic Forces

 * The game is in development for half as long.
 * Which means...Sonic '06 2!

Doki Doki Literature Club

 * Everyone in the club has the same personality as Sayori's.
 * Remove the ability to write your own poems.
 * No horror is present whatsoever. Like, literally. None.
 * Replace Monika with one of those Pretty Cure girls. (Wait, that reference is unintentional)

Metal Masters

 * Prevent How To Properly Clean Your Metal Computer from being created

OneShot

 * Niko says a lot of cringy quotes
 * On Little Cat Feet is the entire OST
 * Increase the difficulty

Sonic Mania

 * Make the story a stupid one.
 * Not make it focused on Classic Sonic.
 * Make it 3D.
 * Insert all the new characters.
 * Don't include the HBH (Hard Boiled Heavies).
 * Make the stages weird.
 * Make Sanic a unlockable character.
 * Don't put any special stages.
 * All the musics are played by a banjo.
 * Make everyone die at the end (Starting with Dr. Eggman (by being flatten by a wrecking ball on top of his machine) and then the rest (from a humongous explosion).
 * Every boss (including the Final Boss) in this game is only the Egg Mobile-H.
 * Put waaaaaaaaay too many rings in a zone.
 * All the stages are Kaizo.
 * All the characters are voiced by a teenager.
 * Remove running, spin-dashing, drop-dashing, Insta-shield, Super Peel Out and Power Ups from the game.
 * Cheesy jokes and quotes in the game.
 * All the zones have only one theme, underwater.
 * The Badniks are only The Slowest Red Pest In The World and Evil Mr. Krabs.
 * The graphics are changed to that of Sonic Suggests (a fan-game).

Crash Bandicoot

 * Release it on NES.
 * Reskinned edition of Super Mario Bros.
 * Make it unfair.
 * All the bosses are lame as heck. (Ripper Roo only jumping from Left to Right)
 * Dr N. Cortex's boss battle is really easy. He shoots only his ray gun at Crash.
 * Replace Papu Papu as a fat monkey lord of the jungle, who constantly says "OOH HA! CRASH OOH HA!".
 * Just like that one Sir Isaac video, Papu Papu will be renamed as "Papa Poo Poo Ma".
 * Pinstripe Potoroo's boss battle will have Pinstripe constantly saying cuss words at Crash.
 * When you win the game, you don't get Tawna. Instead, you get a white screen.
 * N. Brio is drunk in this game. In his boss battle, he will try to spike you with beer.
 * Some Crates are almost impossible to get.
 * The Great Hall is removed.
 * No chase sequences. They are replaced with a lame minigame called "GET NEO CORTEX!".
 * Crash says constantly, "Yeah!", "w00t!" and "Winner Winner Wumpa Fruit for Dinner!".
 * Remove Token stages.
 * You die in a stage if you don't collect all the crates in a level.
 * Every boss has 9 hit points.

Agar.io

 * Have it made in 2000.
 * Make it 3D.
 * Make it have ugly and laggy graphics.
 * Rename it "Crazy Circle Chaos".
 * Give it laggy graphics.
 * There are only 3 skins and they are ugly.
 * Fill it with ads.
 * You cannot connect to Facebook or Google, therefore you can't save progress.
 * Get rid of the potions.
 * Make it a single-player game where the player has to play against AI-controlled cells.

ROBLOX (In General)

 * Make the community even furthermore toxic.
 * The moderation system is even worse that you might get account deleted for just saying hi.
 * Online Dating is allowed and Online Daters are very common.

Jailbreak

 * All the vehicles cost $1M.
 * Cops are bots and they can arrest you easily.
 * The museum only gives you up to $50
 * Cars are glitchy as hell
 * When you try to rob the train it just flings you out of the map
 * Cops are allowed to go in the jewelry store.
 * Exploding the bank vault takes 5 minutes
 * Bank only gives you $25
 * The gas station and donut shop only gives you $1
 * Jetpacks stop working at random times
 * Power Plant puzzles are 10x harder.
 * Cops are 2x faster than criminals

Epic Minigames

 * In Eagle Observation, the eagles fly super sonic that you cannot see them
 * In Black Hole Scramble, the black hole is 10x bigger meaning you have to move faster

Fashion Frenzy

 * Regardless of how many people are playing, the servers are somehow always laggy.
 * You only have one minute to make your outfit. ONE MINUTE!!!
 * You are able to vote for your own outfit.
 * no that would make it so much better

Rakuga Kids

 * Add Rolf from Ed, Edd n Eddy to the game as an hidden fighter.
 * On a sidenote, it'll look surreal to see it happening.
 * Have the victory screen from Street Fighter II in the game.
 * Captain.Cat.Kit can even spam moves.
 * Replace "TO BE CONTINUED" with "END" in french on the after credits scene.

Animal Crossing franchise

 * Make it a very crappy ripoff of The Sims.
 * Remove the Golden Tools Mechanic for all games.

First mainline game

 * The train to the town actually crashes into the train station and Rover, with the player get killed in the process. They respawn a minute later.
 * Make Tom Nook a brat in the game also in the following mainline games.
 * In a Peppy character dialogue, have her SPAM "CHOCOLATE!" for 6 speech bubbles. This may get annoying after a while.
 * Have Timmy and Tommy die at the end of the game.
 * All the animals could poop.
 * Add 1000000000 Nintendo logos at the start!!!!!!!

Wild World

 * The player can now catch birds with their nets. The following games also receive this feature.
 * Watering Cans do not appear in the game and the following games, but exist in the game's code, since you could use a water bucket to water flowers.
 * Monkeys are exclusively Special Characters. This means no monkey villagers.
 * Add more glitches.
 * The axes can't wear off. But what does this even mean?
 * Replace Kapp'n with a angry looking Kappa.
 * Change the game's name to "Animal Crossing: Poop Time"

City Folk

 * Cut all the Octopus Villagers.
 * Starting from this game, bullying will make your villagers happy. This could confuse most players.
 * No bug-offs or Fishing Tourneys.
 * The City is a dark place covered in total debris.
 * Make City Folk the only Animal Crossing Horror Game.
 * The quality is very bad.
 * Cut out Dr. Shrunk. He is a Mary Sue.
 * PUT IN PEPPA PIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New Leaf

 * Do not introduce Isabelle. She is the same as Dr. Shrunk.
 * Timmy and Tommy come back from the dead and start being a fussybuddy.
 * You Play as Tom Nook and you try to invade other people's towns.
 * The Public Works Project does not exist.
 * Have the Reset Surrivince Centre be a default building.
 * Have the characters swears.
 * K.K dies.

New Horizons

 * Have the game take place at the players very own planet.
 * There is a spaceport where you can fly to other people's planets in a spaceship.
 * Remove Marshall and replace him with a very hated Cranky Villager.
 * The game is not tropical themed.
 * Remove the durability system.

Angry Birds Classic

 * The story is not about defeating the pigs because they stole the birds eggs, the story is about the birds going apeshoot about losing in Fortnite and they go to the Pigs to kill them.
 * All the levels (including 1-1) have only one block for their building, Iron.
 * To add insult to injury, Red is the only bird in this game.
 * Corporal Pig, Foreman Pig, Chef Pig and King Pig are ridiculously difficult bosses in this game.
 * There's only one chapter.
 * Remove the golden eggs.
 * If you fail a level the game will reset and remove your progress.
 * There's a bad ending. If you get it, King Pig, off screen, will cook you up as well as the eggs you left behind at the start of this trip.

Angry Birds Seasons

 * Make the game UN-HOLIDAY based.
 * The updates come out when schools not out.
 * Make the seasons be related to social media or related to some event that's cringy or bad (like Youtube Rewind 2018).
 * Make this game lie ALOT, for example like how Rovio says there will be an Minecraft event in 2018 when it's actually Fortnite.
 * New power-up that involves a gun instead of the new Mighty Dragon.

Angry Birds Rio

 * The game is barely based on Rio.
 * King Pig appears out of nowhere when he doesn't appear in the movie.
 * 🦀🦀🦀nigel is removed🦀🦀🦀
 * Dr. Barbossa is the character you play as instead of Blu and Jewel.
 * Her power is very cringy. She uses her butt against the structure.
 * The first chapter can be very unfair. Some some reason, if you hit the caged birds, some of them will pop and you can fail the level.
 * All the marmosets can jump.

Angry Birds Go!

 * Rename the game's name to "Angriest Kart Game Ever!".
 * The controls are pretty stiff.
 * Remove the arrows by the side.
 * Jenga isn't involved.
 * The bosses you fight here have the mind of Albert Einstein.
 * is that a fucking ausome six reference
 * lol maybe. if king pig had the mind of him he would be called big pigs.
 * PAY TO WIN SUCKAS!
 * Blantant 3D models.

Angry Birds Star Wars (2)

 * At least 80% to 95% is not based on Star Wars.
 * Replace the lightsabers with normal swords.
 * When the Death Star blasts, the game is over.
 * Angry Birds Star Wars 2 is all literally the prequel trilogy but heavily edited to fit the Star Wars cast we're playing as.
 * The game never acknowledges that Vader is not a villain, but rather Luke Skywalker's father.
 * Make Vader choke anybody in the cutscenes.
 * All the violence from Star Wars is inputted into this game.
 * The stormtroopers, with guns, will shoot 20 lasers in any direction.
 * Chewie is a brown re-skinned Terrence with a Keanu Reeves-like hairstyle.
 * Jar Jar Binks is the main character in the sequel.

Angry Birds 2

 * Every single thing is $0.99.
 * The bosses have the health of a man with 1,000,000 packs. Doing any damage to them is like delivering a punch to a diamond.
 * The Level Failed! screen is even scarier but cheesy because the bosses do weird and funny jumpscares.
 * Remove arena.
 * Ads will lurk everywhere.
 * TNT can kill you.
 * Remove Silver.

Bad Piggies

 * Rename the game's name to "Big Pigs: Over The Eggs Racing"
 * Because of that name kids in 2012 will think that is a racing game when it isn't!
 * The graphics are low-poly 3D.
 * Add tremendously long dialogue.
 * Stupid story, basically, the map is mistaken for wood and used for fire which burns down a forest and the pigs have to escape.
 * There is only wood blocks, wood wheels, TNT, blowers and fans.
 * Add a highway stage, in which Rovio treats it as an "tribute" to one of the games, Big Rigs.
 * No custom blocks.
 * Angry Birds are everywhere.

Angry Birds Stella

 * Stella is more annoying and has an over-excessive girl, teenager stereotype.
 * The game gets darker as you realise Stella's friends are just figments of her imaginations.
 * Gale is the only real friend, but she is not a villain, Stella just wants to get rid of her.
 * The game is just a horribly made parody of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
 * No costumes.
 * Wall Of Pigs challenges are 1000X Harder than the bosses in Angry Birds 2.
 * Chapter 2 (Beach Day) is never made.
 * Once the game finishes, a HUGE ASS Plot twist has revealed that Stella's friends in deed are real and Gale is a PTSD fuel ghost that Stella somehow managed to kill.
 * Because of this, the second point I just made is just Rovio trying to send you off the rails of the true plot of this game.

Angry Birds Reloaded

 * The levels are more messed up in the order they go through.
 * Pack all the levels in a single chapter.
 * Add every single bird from the ab fanon wiki.
 * The graphics are way worse than before, as most of them are now done through MS Paint.

Castle Crashers

 * The remaster doesn't exist.
 * Alien Hominid isn't a secret character.
 * Remove the Animal Orbs.


 * Have the game be a low-budget rom-hack of the Tiny Toons game for the NES, released in 1994.


 * The knights are the only thing that makes the bootleg unique, as everything else isn't changed, AT ALL.
 * And Knuckles.


 * No replay value.
 * Make Onion Bubs and Caillou playable characters.

Death Road to Canada

 * Remove Contender, AND the Would You Kindly TV Skeletons.
 * Dogs throw feces everywhere as their unarmed attack instead of clawing.
 * Remove O*P*P Mode.
 * In K*E*P*A Mode, Kepa ABSOLUTELY REFUSES to give the group a reward if he survives.
 * Add product placement for Dollar Shave Club, with Lynn C. Thompson weilding a shavey-thingy instead of the Cold Steel Greatsword.
 * The game over screen reads: "This has been Death Road to Canada, sponsored by the Dollar Shave Club!"
 * Caillou is a rare trader/recruitable survivor.

Konami Krazy Racers

 * Make every racers spam items everywhere.
 * Add some Mario characters in the game (Mario, Luigi, Peach, Toad, Bowser, Donkey Kong, and Wario). (Mario Kart: Super Circuit would like to know your location)
 * Beartank will never shuts up crying "Ouch!" on everypoint.
 * Make some racers (aside from others) speak english instead of speaking in japanese.

Minecraft

 * The game costs $1000 dollars to download, and there are absurdly ridiculous subscriptions.
 * There are absurdly ridiculous subscriptions and their costs are ridiculous as well.

Among Us

 * Everything looks like it was drawn by a 4-year-old.
 * Most games, you don't do any tasks.
 * Sometimes you get banned from servers for absolutely no reason.
 * Add The Amogus Meme

Vib-Ribbon

 * Make the game R-Rated.
 * Remove the disc swap mechanic where the game is loaded in RAM.
 * Use regular models instead of vector lines.
 * Make Vibri sexualized, like how she is in Rule 34.
 * Use songs like Justin Bieber's Yummy and DO YOU KNOW DA WAE (Benji Kameya TRAP REMIX).
 * Replace the obstacles with bad guys you had to shoot with guns.
 * Make it an Atari Jaguar game instead of a Playstation game.
 * Remove the Reward Song.
 * Make the Game Over screens obnoxious as hell.
 * Shorten the tutorial to 2 seconds.
 * The audio is even choppier.

Vib-Ripple

 * Everything from the previous game returns.
 * The Boonchies are literal piles of shit, which Vibri eats, therefore making it a scat game.
 * Instead of random things to collect, they're replaced with dildos.
 * The trampoline physics are so bad that you either go too high, too low, or right through the picture.

BanG Dream! Girls Band Party (Bandori)

 * Include virus offers in the game that can potentially install malware onto your device. There are also those typical cringeworthy mobile game ads (you know the ones) and they pop up whenever you click on something.
 * Whenever you get a full combo on a song, the sentence "YOU PLAY SONG, YOU GOOD" will show up in huge neon pink text in the Comic Sans font. There are also no post-live interactions between the girls in your band.
 * The only song difficulties are Easy and Normal, the latter of the two being this version of the game's equivalent of the Special difficulty.
 * The gacha is so rigged to the point where 99.9% of the time, you get 2* cards. 1% of the time, you get a really shitty 3* card. Wait... that's already the reality of Bandori gacha. WHERE IS MY TSUKUSHI 4*, BUSHIROAD?!
 * Both of the anime adaptations (BanG Dream! and Girls Band Party! ☆ PICO) don't exist.
 * Events happen once every two months, and Dreamfes gachas and collaborations only happen twice every two years.
 * There is a Poppin'Party x McDonalds collab and the exclusive costumes for the girls are just McDonalds work uniforms. There is also a song that is just Kasumi singing about how delicious happy meals are.
 * Now, you'd think the focused members for the collab would be Aya and Kanon since they work at a fast food restaurant in the actual game... but the Poppin'Donalds idea would be so much funnier.
 * OH MY GOD I JUST THOUGHT OF MICHELLE MCDONALD. MICHELLE WITH A RONALD MCDONALD OUTFIT ON. THAT'S SO FUNNY
 * There is no VS Live (the event-exclusive live mode), which now that I think about it would make the game slightly better. VS Live events are the bane of my existence. Bandori might not be real but the egregious wounds Brighter Brighter left on my psyche sure as hell are
 * There are no stories for the events, bands, characters or the plot of the game. There are also no loading screen comics.
 * The instruments and area items can't be levelled up or replaced.
 * No lounge.
 * No character birthday gachas, cards, interactions or events.
 * ARGONAVIS and the other male bands actually appear in the game. I'm not even going to explain why this is a bad idea so don't ask me.
 * There is a Hello, Happy World! cover of this, and yes, it is playable.
 * You can't level up past rank 5.
 * "Senbonzakura" is actually playable on the Korean version of the game. If you know, you know.
 * "Baby Shark" is permanently available for purchase at CiRCLE.
 * The characters do not go through any development whatsoever and are regressed to the most popular one-note fan interpretations of them (think Bully Chisato).

The Resident Evil series
(Sidenote: I only wrote entries for the main games, but any of you can add the others if you'd like)

1

 * Keep its original Japanese title "Biohazard". This will also apply to all the other games in the series.
 * The game's features are exactly the same wether you choose Chris or Jill.
 * There's a cliché romance between the 2 at the end of the game. This leads to the game almost being banned from store shelves (answer why to yourself).
 * The Game Boy Color port is actually released and criticised even worse than the PS1 version.
 * The remakes and rereleases don't exist. This also goes for every other game in the series.
 * Remove the Umbrella Corp.

2

 * The game is released in its original dull and boring form, being ranked worse than the PS1 and GBC ports of its predecessor combined.
 * No saves are available. You have to beat it all in one shot.
 * Remove the Zapping System.
 * Like the first game, there's a cliché romance, but between Leon and Claire, and it's also almost banned.
 * The t-Virus and G-Virus are renamed the Delta-virus and O-Virus respectively. Decades later, the game is criticised for apparently "predicting" Coronavirus Disease 2019.
 * Add more

3: Nemesis

 * Keep its original Japanese subtitle "Last Escape".
 * It has nothing to do with the second game.
 * None of the characters from the first game return.
 * Add more

0

 * Remove Wesker Mode.
 * Add more

4

 * The PS2 port is even lower quality than before.
 * BONUS: That and the Gamecube port are the only ports.
 * Remove the "Welcome" line.

5

 * The Gold Edition doesn't exist.
 * Remove The Mercenaries United
 * Add more

6

 * The game will be criticised for apparently "predicting" the aforementioned 2020 outbreak solely because of the name of the C-Virus.
 * Add more

7: Biohazard

 * The bad ending is the only ending.
 * Remove Not A Hero and End Of Zoe
 * Remove the VHS tape feature.
 * Add more

8: Village

 * Well let's start off with the obvious: You-Know-Who doesn't appear at all, making there only 3 Lords of the Village.
 * The giant mutant baby hallucination is somehow even creepier and more grotesque.
 * Your only weapon is a flyswatter. The game's now impossible to beat.
 * Remove Duke and his shop.
 * Mia and Rose actually die in the end after Ethan's sacrifice, therefore no epilogue.
 * BONUS: This game becomes the final entry in the RE/Biohazard series. Right before the credits, there's text reading "TOO BAD. OH WELL, YOU REACH END OF GAME AND SERIES. NOW GO END THIS TORTURE AND REST."

Changed

 * Only a few transfurs that r stupidly hard to get. Female yellow n male pink mirror transfur hard.
 * Except 4 a few hidden yu-feng n male light latex transfurs.
 * Tons of stock photos
 * When Colin's supposed 2 get transfurred, he just falls through teh floor
 * Colin iz horribly rendered in Blender
 * Remove Tiddy Squiddy
 * No endscreen. Just a black screen w "U DIED!!" in Luckiest Guy font
 * Hide transphobic messages around the maps