How To Make Good Songs Bad

Whip It by Devo

 * Make it like the demo version
 * Include the synthesizer solo from the song's debut at a live show.

Be My Lover by La Bouche

 * Have it be released in 2016 and have it be sung in a 16 year old girl's perspective of a crappy relationship.

Together by Ardyn

 * Insert autotune.

Bullacake by Dexplicit

 * Cut its length in half.

New Sensation by INXS

 * Have Garry Gary Beers' bass played inexplicably loud and have it overpower all of the instruments.
 * Make it about a short-term relationship.

Talk Dirty to Me by Poison

 * Bobby Dall's bass line is louder than C.C. DeVille's guitar (it's loud enough already).
 * Bret Michaels slurs the lyrics so bad you'll need the inner notes of the album sleeve to understand what he's saying.

The ABC Song

 * Use NSFW/Sex words.
 * Use a Homophobic Slur.
 * The voice must be a Text-To-Speech Voice.
 * The character thats singing should be an image of Ronald McDonald.