No Man's Pirates/Episodes/Heymondbeardless

"Heymondbeardless" is the third segment of the fifth episode of the first season of No Man's Pirates. It is seven minutes long.

Synopsis
One morning, Heymondbeard's decided that his beard's grown too long. He goes to shave it, but after he accidentally shaves part of it off, he tries to make it equal—but he ends up shaving all of his beard off in the process! The No Man's Pirates try to help him out by testing suitable replacements—but are they good as his beard? Will his beard ever grow back.

Transcript
(The episode begins with Heymondbeard getting up. He yawns and stretches.)

Heymondbeard: Ah, hey, a start of a new day.

(Heymondbeard notices how long his beard's gotten.)

Heymondbeard: Hey, looks like my beard's gotten a bit too long. Well, time to shave.

(Cut to Heymondbeard walking up to the pond. Heymondbeard gets his razor from his hat. He takes a look at it and suddenly gets angry.)

Heymondbeard: TAKARAAAAAAAA!

(Takara groggily walks up to Heymondbeard.)

Takara: What do you want?

Heymondbeard: Hey, why are there black and blue furs in my razor?

Takara: Why should I care?

Heymondbeard: Did you use my razor again?

Takara: No! Go away!

Heymondbeard: Don't lie to me, you little sneak! Tell the truth right this instant or else!

Takara: (groans) I couldn't find my razor, so I had to use yours while you were sleeping.

(Heymondbeard reaches into Takara’s hat and pulls out her razor.)

Heymondbeard: Hey, it was in your own hat, you dolt!

Takara: (groans) Last place I could have looked. Also, based on how angry you are, I profusely apologise for using your razor.

Heymondbeard: Hey Captain, just don’t use it again!

(Takara walks offscreen just as Heymondbeard begins to shave.)

Heymondbeard: Hey, I'm shaving a whole lot of hair.

(Heymondbeard's razor gets stuck in his beard.)

Heymondbeard: Hey, dagnabbit! This beard is too tangled!

(As Heymondbeard tries to pull the razor out, a lone hair from his beard accidentally flies near his face, causing him to sneeze and to rip some of his beard off.)

Heymondbeard: Oh, no! My beard!

(Heymondbeard tries to equal his beard out, but it becomes unequal.)

Heymondbeard: Arrgh! Maybe if I even it out.

(Heymondbeard tries to shave the beard to even it out in a fight cloud. Cut to Heymondbeard laying on the ground.)

Heymondbeard: Oh, hey, that was a lot chaos. Luckily, nothing happened to my...

(Heymondbeard's beard falls off, leaving it to be nothing but a pile of hairs.)

Heymondbeard: Beard! Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no, oh, no, oh, no!

(Spud walks onscreen.)

Spud: You ready for breakfast--By golly, whoa! Dudebeard, what happened to your beard?

Heymondbeard: I tried to shave earlier, but I accidentally got my razor caught in my beard, and when I tried to take it out, my beard was all uneven. And when I tried to even it out, I shaved all of my beard off! Now I'm Heymondbeardless!

Spud: Your real name is Heymond, though. Heymond Teach.

Heymondbeard: I know, but I've had this beard for quite a long time.