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    Random-ness Wiki

    Horses are very tall, scary mammals. They are vicious and rogue, but the public is doing everything in their power to indoctrinate you into the belief that they are in fact peaceful, kind creatures.

    Unfortunately, horses are not fake like giraffes and boobs are. They are very much real. Billions of Real Life people fearfully report Real Life horse sightings every day in Real Life. There could be a horse in your general vicinity at any given time and you wouldn't have any idea. It is said that those who come across a horse will have irreversable bad luck for all eternity.

    The creator of this page is actually scared of horses. Lol

    Important horse info[edit | edit source]

    • Horses are alleged to have blank, almost unnerving stares. Their eyes are larger than any other land mammal's. They have a nearly 360 degree field of vision.
      • But don't horses have eyes on either side of their head?
        • Shut the up
          • Start running.
    • Baby horses (foals) are capable of running at supersonic speeds mere hours after being birthed.
      • Start running.
    • A horse's set of teeth takes up more space than its brain.
      • Start running.
    • Horses cannot vomit, but just imagine the chunks they'd spew if they could.
      • What the fuck is wrong with you?
        • I have a brain parasite I only have three months to live donate to my paypal today
    • There are allegedly over 600 different breeds or horse. They all have the same evil mindset.
      • Start. Fucking. Running.
    • Horses are dangerous.
    • Horses want to hurt you.
    • Horses are bloodthirsty.
    • Horses wish nothing but pain upon the universe as we know it.
      • START. RUNNING.

    Wait, why do I keep saying that?! None of you could even hope to outrun a horse. Most horses can run as fast as 44 kph/27 mph.

    Horses in the media[edit | edit source]

    Big Farma has successfully brainwashed multiple media personnel and platforms into believing that horses are your friends. The following programs serve solely to indoctrinate our impressionable youth into pro-horse ideology.

    My Little Pony[edit | edit source]

    The long-running My Little Pony series is known worldwide for its inaccurately-colored horsey characters. Horses cannot be pink, or blue, or orange, or purple, or whatever. Don't buy into it. My Little Pony puts a heavy emphasis on friendship, kindness and teamwork, but we all know those are the last things a horse has on its mind.

    Merchandise for the show is abundant. You might have even seen a little girl with a Rainbow Dash backpack once or twice. Little does she know she has been corrupted. Only you can save her.

    my litel pomnei ,y rowkssej ,eporm t ahahahahahahahAHAHA

    It's Pony[edit | edit source]

    It's Pony dropped in 2020 and it's... actually really good? I can't make fun of this show I can't

    Spirit Riding Free[edit | edit source]

    All you need to know about this one is that it has horses and it romanticizes colonialism. No srsly. Don't watch this one

    im so tired of writing this page im done i diont wanna do this anymoar

    Comments[edit | edit source]

    Excellent work as always. Everything on this page is objectively true.
    -- Scary Wallpaper, the Wallpaper (talk) 01:50, 19 October 2021 (UTC)

    Thank you ^_^
    -- Bruh Funny (talk) 02:16, 19 October 2021 (UTC)

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