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    Random-ness Wiki

    How To Make Bad Songs Good

    Octavius Rex.jpg

    This is one of RNW's famed "how to" pages. It contains lots of opinions, but may also have just as much vulgarities, gross-out content, satirical humor, and NSFW elements. Also, some of these pages are freakishly long, which pretty much speaks for itself.
    These pages are now considered legacy pages and can no longer be edited by ordinary contributors.

    California Gurls by Katy Perry

    • Remove Snoop Dogg's verse.
    • Respell the title.
    • Get rid of the sex references.

    Blurred Lines by Robin Thicke

    • Wipe the song from existance.
    • Fix the "Me fall from plastic" line.
    • Give Robin Thicke a life imprisonment for singing this tragedy.

    Work From Home by Fifth Harmony

    • Remove Ty Dolla Sign's "rap" verse.
      • Screw him. Mentioning the number 63.

    Let It Go from Frozen

    • Wipe it from existence.
    • Don't make the song brainwash the audiences’ minds.
    • Make it an 80s/90s dance song by a popular dance group.
    • Don't overplay the song for god's sake!
    • Remove "It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small". That just makes fun of science.
    • Fix the piano tunes.

    Problem by Ariana Grande

    • Have Big Sean do the rap verse instead of Iggy Azalea.
    • Make the first two verses longer.
    • Make the instrumental more dancy.

    Anaconda by Nicki Minaj

    • Make it more original in general. After all, it has many similarities to Baby Got Back.
    • No butt references.
    • Make it less oversexual and less pornographic.

    Baby by Justin Bieber

    • Don't use the word "baby" repeatedly.
    • Beiber's voice is lower.
    • The music video has an interesting story.
    • Use only a little autotune.
    • Make the rhythm sound less cheesy.

    Shout Out to My Ex by Little Mix

    • Don't make the song so hostile to men.

    samba de janeiro by beleni

    • make the instrumental sound like [This]
    • add more vocals
    • make the last chorus shorter

    Slide by Calvin Harris

    • Have actual lyrics.

    Literally every Submarine Man song

    • DON'T USE SO MUCH AUTOTUNE DAMN AND DON'T RAP ABOUT FOOT FETISHES EITHER

    Sweatshirt By Jacob Sartorius

    • Change the lyrics.
    • Change the beat.
    • Use less autotune

    Every single Jojo Siwa song

    WIPE THEM FROM EXISTENCE.

    You a bitch, Jojo Siwa
    ~ DaBaby (yes he actually said this)

    Playboi Carti, XXXTentacion, Ugly God and Madeintyo's 2017 XXL Freshman Cypher

    • Remove that "Diamonds on my balls" line by Ugly God
    • Make every artist lines better except X, he only gets a little better because he probably had the best verse.

    Every mumble rap song that isn’t by Lil Demerit

    Wipe the ridiculous songs from existence!

    Squidward Nose by cupcakKe

    • The lyrics aren't dirty nor full of swearing.

    Dance Monkey by Tones and I

    • Wipe it from existence.
    • The voice isn't incredibly high-pitched and ear grating.
    • IT ISN'T PLAYED ON RADIO EVERY SO OFTEN.

    Dame tu Cosita by El Chombo

    • Give it better lyrics instead of sexual lyrics (seriously, translate the title).
    • The music video has better CGI animation.

    "Fantastic Baby" by BIGBANG

    • Get someone other than BIGBANG to sing it. They only have one good song and Seungri is a whole bastard.
    • ...Continuing on, it is released by BLACKPINK in 2016 as a part of their SQUARE ONE single album (the same album "WHISTLE" and "BOOMBAYAH" are on).
    • The chorus is sung in a "call-and-response" fashion, similar to songs like "So What" by LOONA and "No" by CLC.
    • "I can't baby, don't stop this" becomes "I, I can't boy, don't stop this" (I don't know).
    • "Mama just let me be your lover" becomes "Hey you boy, just let me be your lover".

    Warzone by Yoko Ono

    • Don't overuse the word "warzone" too much.

    Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea (Remix)

    Planet Sheen theme song

    • This theme song was not a rap song.
    • The lyrics make more sense.
    • It wasn't sung in the deep monotone voice.

    Super Noms theme song

    Om Nom Stories: New Neighbors theme song

    Sex and Violence (Song)

    • Give the song better lyrics instead of "Sex and violence" over and over again.
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