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    Random-ness Wiki

    How to Make Bad Video Games Good

    Octavius Rex.jpg

    This is one of RNW's famed "how to" pages. It contains lots of opinions, but may also have just as much vulgarities, gross-out content, satirical humor, and NSFW elements. Also, some of these pages are freakishly long, which pretty much speaks for itself.
    These pages are now considered legacy pages and can no longer be edited by ordinary contributors.


    Spyro: Enter the Dragonfly

    • Have there be less time on the loading screens.
    • The controls aren't as slippery.
    • Fix a lot of technical issues.
      • Like make the framerate to have 60 per second.
    • Have more dragonflies, like about 120 of them. Have more levels, like up to 25, to make the game fun.
    • Have this developed by Konami.
    • If Bianca described how the dragonflies are shy, just rid of their taunting sound and just make them scared. Or if they wanted to keep them as trouble makers, just have Bianca state that they are spoiled brats and refuse to come back.
    • Replace Gnasty Gnorc or a new villain to replace Ripto, since he died in the second Spyro game.
      • In fact, if new villain, make him a bird and name him “Soar”. And make him kidnap all the dragonflies attempting to eat them (birds eat dragonflies btw), only he accidentally let them free, scattering around the lands, where then Spyro must travel to catch them back.
        • Also, while most of the dragonflies are free from Soar, Sparx is the only exception, which Spyro must also save him.
          • And give Spyro health bar since he did not have Sparx with him.

    Dark Castle

    Genesis version

    • Make it have better controls.
    • Replace the music sustainer with a music silencer.
    • Give the character the colors as the CD-I version rather than the colors of Shaggy from Scooby-Doo!

    CD-I version

    • Like the Genesis version, make it have better controls.

    Action 52 and Cheetahmen 2

    Action 52

    • Make the menus better.
    • Bring a better background for Critical Bypass over the eye-strain inducing background.
    • Make controls better, like A for jumping and B for attacking.
    • Make the player die while falling from the tallest height to the ground rather than mid-air.
    • Improve Cheetahmen stages and make them easier.
    • Give better, original music over the stolen ones.
    • Make the game easier than ever.
    • Fix all the glitches.
    • Fix all the crashing games.
    • Fix all the misspelled names.
    • Give Cheetahmen a story just like in the sequel.
    • All games match exactly what's on the instruction booklet.
    • Fix the typos in the manual.
    • Fix the delayed animation.
    • Make the dog's death in Freeway less violent and disturbing.
    • Make the game licensed.

    Cheetahmen 2

    • Fix all the glitches, just like in Action 52.
    • Make the game easier than ever, just like in Action 52.
    • Give better music, just like in Action 52.
    • Make the game licensed, just like in Action 52.

    Hong Kong 97

    • Make the game have more music, and also give it sound effects.
    • Fix all the Engrishes.
    • Remove the F-word in the first slide.
    • Let the game not loop.
    • Give it better backgrounds rather than monochrome images of logos, and random stuff.
    • Remove the real corpse on the game over screen.
    • Remove the photo of the Holocaust victims.

    Sonic Forces

    • Remove Classic Sonic and Zavok.
      • Maybe replace Classic Sonic with Boom Sonic?
    • Make Shadow different from Sonic like give him a gun.
    • Don't make Tails a whiny crybaby coward.
    • Remove the cringy cutscenes and voice lines
    • Kill off Dr. Eggman at the beginning of this game and make Infinite the main villain of this game.

    Superman 64

    • Make the controls easier to handle.
    • Give it more action-packed levels than tedious training stages.

    Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing

    • The people who made the Asphalt race car franchise made it.
    • Remove/fix the glitches and stuff.
    • Make Nightride work right.
    • Add in more water.
    • Make the AI work and if it wins, also not make the game crash.
      • That got fixed in the last version
    • Also fix the "You're winner" screen to "You win".
      • That also got fixed

    >implying Big Rigs isn't a masterpiece

    Looney Tunes Acme Arnesal

    • Don't put in the Looney Tunes.
      • And put in fresh and new characters.

    Dead or Alive 4/5

    • Stop the Dead or Alive series after 3

    Intellivision Lives!

    • Make it Atari instead

    Other than that, this game can't be improved. Intellivision is god-awful, so there'd be no way to fix this.

    Bart vs. The Space Mutants

    • Make the enemies killable by jumping on them ala Super Mario Bros.
    • Don't have The Simpsons theme play on any of the stages, just the title screen.
      • Also, for the music playing in any of the stages, it can include this.
    • Don't put the tilting lollipops in the mall stage.
    • Unlimited continues in case of game over.
    • Get rid of the time limit.
    • Have Bart say "Cool man!" instead Marge saying it.

    Prodigy Math Game

    • Animate the attacks (if you could animate walking, you could animate fighting.)
    • Make the spells more interesting.

    Dracimon (if you don't know what it is, go to the App Store and look it up.)

    • Not make it too similar to Pokémon
    • Decrease catch rates
    • Fix the errors

    E.T.

    • Make it a Super Mario Bros style platform game on NES.

    Rocko's Modern Life: Spunky's Dangerous Day

    • Have the plot be where Spunky get dognapped and Rocko has to save him.
    • Make it a beat 'em up platform game.

    Mega Man X6

    • Stop the Mega Man X series after 5.

    Sonic '06

    • Make the developers of this game change their minds about releasing this game in Sonic's 15th anniversary, release an remastered version of Sonic Jam instead, and delay the game to 2007 and call it Sonic Adventure 3 (or Sonic's Mobius Rescue in Sophie the Otter's case).
    • Remove/fix the darn glitches!
    • The first boss is 1/500 of a Solaris.
      • Uh, how does it work?
        • Good question!
    • Redesign Elise as an anthropomorphic hedgehog.
      Elise is a hedgehog instead of a human.
      • I don't see how that would improve the game, aleast storyline wise. If it's about that scene about Elise kissing (then-dead) Sonic, then just get rid of that scene or change it.)
    • Improve the battle against Silver.
      • What about the bosses in general?
    • Loading times are quicker.

    Sonic Genesis (GBA)

    • Make this game an GBA version of Sonic Jam and have all of the graphics be redone and have an Sonic Advance engine on each game in it.

    Sonic Boom

    • Make this game a Star vs. The Forces of Evil-themed game and have all cameos from all Disney (including characters from non-Disney shows airing on their channels) characters in history.

    Bubsy Franchise

    • Change Bubsy into a less annoying, more outgoing beaver and give him chomping and tail attack abilities. His gliding should be replaced with flaps of his tail to slow his fall. Also, his design (pictured) should be like this:
    • If Bubsy is a beaver, make him care about wood instead of yarn! For the pieces of wood he collects, players would be able to make them into a variety of different weapons, vehicles, and other objects.
    • Change Bubsy's catchphrase to "Munch, baby, Munch!" and don't overuse it.
    • Add more gimmicks and include some areas involving Bubsy munching his way in a maze type mini-game called "Maze-o-Munch". Maze-o-Munch game comes after every 4 levels until the end, thus including 3 MoMs.
    • Change the Woolies to small critters called Porky Pinecones (part warthog, part porcupine, and part Pinecone, based on Wuzzles' Piggypine).
    • Fix the physics, controls, camera and hit collision detection.
    • Use the side of a log as a four-wedge pie chart to represent health (a la Super Mario 64) instead of the one-hit-and-die feature.
    • Delay Bubsy 3D for the 1997-1998 season for further, deeper production.
    • Replace the unnecessary passwords with an actual save option.
    • Have Bubsy be voiced by Gregg Berger.

    All of LJN's Games

    • Destroy that company, and have their games be made by other companies. Nuff said.

    All of Data Design Interactive's Games

    • Same thing with LJN's. Again, nuff said.

    Pac-Man (Atari 2600)

    • Better graphics
    • Better music
    • Better overall gameplay. Need I say more?

    Lester the Unlikely

    • Remove Lester's voices (or make them less annoying) and a few of the animations.
    • Add Lester's attacks like jumping.
    • Remove the falling damage when you jump off a cliff.
    • Remove a few of the bats.
    • Change Level 1's music to Cool Spot-like music.
    • Make the purple totem pole have only one hit.
    • Make Lester not run away at some enemies.
    • Make Lester have a different walking animation.

    Oliver's Pasta Adventure

    • Have the protagonist be Toni Cipriani.
      • Then the "YOU PASTA WAY" text would be "WASTED", amirite ladies?

    A Week of Garfield

    • Have it released in North America and Europe.
    • Have it developed and published by Capcom.
    • Have it released on the both NES and Game Boy.
    • Make it just like DuckTales, Adventures of the Magic Kingdom and Little Nemo: The Dream Master.
    • Add minigames right after the cutscenes.

    Takeshi's Challenge

    • Delay it for 1987 season.
    • Remove bad words.
      • I'm sorry, but how does removing bad words improve something?
    • Change and add more music then one annoying music.
    • Make the graphics like Little Samson.

    Conker's Bad Fur Day

    • Get rid of the foul language. Nope. I can totally handle it.
    • On the other hand, have "Twelve Tales: Conker 64" released instead.
      • I would've loved to see that released!
      • Nah, leave this game alone fellas, it's perfect as it is.

    Dissidia Final Fantasy

    • Make the game A LOT less broken.
    • Make the story at least slightly better.
    • Replace Warrior of Light with a character who is actually based on Final Fantasy I, and not just its honestly terrible artwork.
    • Remove the scene where Tidus swears at Jecht.
    • Make it so the final battle against Chaos isn't cheap.

    Chuck E. Cheese Party Games

    • Make the icons for the pizza toppings bigger.
    • Remove the spelling, connect the dots, counting, memory, and spot the difference games and replace them with any actual Chuck E. Cheese arcade games that were left out such as Chuck E.'s Duckies.
    • Add a mini-game based on the Skytubes.
    • Allow the player to interact with the stage show.
    • The plot makes more sense.
    • Include multiplayer.
    • Have everything unlocked at the beginning.
    • Tighter controls.

    Just dance 2021

    • bring back battle mode
    • replace 3 boring songs with way 2 much fun by robbie nevil,gold by spandau ballet and kiss and tell by kesha
    • not making this game destroy sofiathewarrior
    • menu would be a themed to white lily cookie(she doesn’t exist until kingdom)
    • bring back mashups
    • tone down quick play mode

    Game of War: Fire Age

    • Make some times not too long at high levels.
    • Fix the crashes and glitches.
    • Not making it where you spend too much money.
    • Better customer service.
    • Better graphics.
    • Better gameplay.

    Super Monkey Ball: Touch and Roll

    • Add continues.

    Tiny Monsters

    • Like DragonVale, have all the monsters' food cost the same.
    • Make the habitats, obstacles, and items less pricey.
    • Don't drop the game at the Valentine's Day update.
    • Better designs of the monsters.
    • Remove the Dream Room, and have the monsters evolve instantly.
    • Add a daily rewards system.
    • In general, just make it easier to obtain diamonds.

    Mario is Missing!

    • It is officially made by Nintendo.
    • No educational value. The Super Mario series was not made to be educational.
    • Different sprites that are not from Super Mario World.
    • Make the bosses better and a bit harder.
    • You actually get to fight Bowser.

    Digimon Battle Spirit

    • Make it so you win through taking out all of the opponent's life gauge like in Rumble Arena instead of collecting more D-Spirits than your opponent

    Goku Racing

    • Don't redesign Shadow Goku as an anthropomorphic hedgehog, it makes him feel like a rip-off of Shadow the Hedgehog.
    • Make it a Mario Kart 8 style go-kart racing game on Wii U,PS4, PC and Nintendo Switch.
    • Loading times are quicker.
    • Rename it "Dragon Ball Rally" and it's developed and published by Bandai Namco Games in Japan.
    • Add more characters to the roster, (with some DLC from other Jump franchises).
      • How about making a Weekly Shonen Jump racing game?

    Hyperdimension Neptunia franchise (Contains MST3K-type riffs by Jsslade)

    File:Triplets.png
    This is how they would look like.
    • Make it a 2D metroidvania/collectathon, with 3 playable characters: Blanc (which is now Winnie, the small one), Noire (Which is now Paul, the tall one), and Vert (Which is now Xavier, the big one), both with their respective unique abilities.
      • That just makes it worse.
    • The gameplay it's like "Boxboy-meets-Megaman X".
      • DID YOU EVEN PLAY HYPERDIMENSION NEPTUNIA?!
    • It's made by some indie developer.
    • The original trilogy are exclusive for the Nintendo Wii and are released in 2007, 2008 and 2010 respectively (with HD remasters releasing on the Nintendo Switch during the 2020s).
    • The next games are released on 3DS, Wii U and Nintendo Switch (With some spin-offs)
    • Have like 7-8 installaments (4 and 5 on the 3DS, 6 and 7 on the Wii U, and 8 on the Nintendo Switch).
    • Get rid of Sega-related things and the sexuality.
    • "Gamindustri" is now "Gamingland" (a video game version of Roger Rabbit's Toontown).
    • Keep the satire to the video game industry, but make it more discrete.
    • Add the 3 characters on Super Smash Bros. Ultimate as one slot, with the down B as the form to change one-to-one.
    • Name it "The Triplets of Gamingland".
    • Sega caricature is the main villain of the series.
    • Add at least one Chris-Chan reference.
      • All-in-all, this seems like a joke more than anything.

    Nicktoons: Globs of Doom

    • Replace Beautiful Gorgeous and Technus with Calamitous and Plasmious respectively.
    • Add Timmy Turner and Denzel Crocker to the mix. (and a Fairy World stage)
    • Fix some glitches
    • Add a boss on Puppununu.
    • It's also released on PS3 and Steam.
    • Add more characters as DLC.

    Tokyo Mirage Sessions ♯FE

    • Wipe it from existance.
    • That’s………not gonna improve the game, actually.

    Skylar and Plux: Adventure on Clover Island

    • Better models.
    • CRT captures Plux's father at the beginning of the game.
    • Have Plux reunite with his father at the end.
    • Skylar's robotic arm does more than just filler.
    • More characters.

    Pokémon: Let's Go, Pikachu/Eevee

    • Remove the catching/Candy system from Pokémon Go. How are players going to grind for experience to train against the next Gym Leader when they can't fight wild Pokemon?
    • Make players turn off the Exp. Share so that they have the option to grind.
    • Add every Pokémon besides Generation 1 Pokémon so this game doesn't feel like it's pandering to Genwunners. (Yes, I am aware that Meltan's evolutionary family exists.)
      • Yes, I am also aware it's a remake, but earlier remakes (including FireRed and LeafGreen) never did this!
    • Add events that were present in FireRed and LeafGreen into it. This includes the Sevii islands, EVs, Abilities, held items, breeding, and Eggs.
      • A day-night cycle (something that FireRed and LeafGreen lacked) would also be added.
    • The game doesn't hold hands with you as much. (i.e. no requirements at the entrance at every gym.)
      • In addition, much like FireRed and LeafGreen, Charmander would learn Metal Claw via level up.
    • Call the games "Pokémon Blazing FireRed and Blooming LeafGreen."

    Planet coaster console edition

    • Wipe the Oswald-Eugene counter from existence

    McDonald's: The Video Game

    • Remove violence.
    • Make people fix machines.
    • Put out the forest fire.
    • Build native villages.
    • Cook better food for the animals.
    • Great sound effects.
    • More saving progress.
    • More music
    • Ronald and Grimace were main characters.
    • Have it made in 1997.
    • Have it rated E.

    Kill the Powerpuff Girls

    • Have it actually made by Cartoon Network.
    • Retitle it "Get Rid of the Rowdyruff Boys"
    • No violence in the games.

    Super Mario 3D All-Stars

    • Add in Super Mario Galaxy 2 as the fourth game.
    • The Super Mario Sunshine cutscenes aren't zoomed in.
    • Have it available after March 31st
    • Either remake the games from the ground up or leave them the same, but with a few extra bells and whistles in them. Your choice.
    • Using Super Mario Odyssey's engine.

    Hatred

    • Give the main character ACTUAL motivations for hating humanity.
    • Also give him an actual name, instead of Not Important.
    • Make the game from an third person perspective, like GTA 5 or Manhunt.
    • Improve Not Important's design, it pretty much screams edgyness.
    • Have other objectives rather than just commit mass genocide.
    • Hell, how about having Bosses?
    • Have an interesting story, rather than that whole "I hate everyone, so I'll kill them" BS.
    • Give Not Important and the bosses supernatural like abilities, just to give some variety.

    Snow White and the Seven Clever Boys

    • Remove the blackface and racist stereotypes from Sonny.
    • Improve the animation and 3-D graphics.
    • Have games throughout the story and not separated from it.
      • Better yet, include the separate puzzle and coloring games, but still, have games throughout the story which involve helping the seven boys work, and helping Prince Charming arrive into Snow White's house so it doesn't look like one massive cutscene.
    • Make a better dialogue than "First there was Cubby, who was like a small bear...".
    • Remove Snow White's song.
    • Put the evil witch in the story, since she is in the cover.
      • Better yet, replace the dwarves in the cover with the characters in the actual game, and make the graphics in the cover 2-D.
    • Remove the "back to menu" voice every time the mouse hovers over the back button.
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