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    Random-ness Wiki

    How to Make Good Books Bad

    Octavius Rex.jpg

    This is one of RNW's famed "how to" pages. It contains lots of opinions, but may also have just as much vulgarities, gross-out content, satirical humor, and NSFW elements. Also, some of these pages are freakishly long, which pretty much speaks for itself.
    These pages are now considered legacy pages and can no longer be edited by ordinary contributors.

    The Harry Potter Series

    • Harry is insane.
    • Add a lot of toilet humor.
    • Replace Voldemort with a lame, cheesy comic villain.
    • All of the books have one chapter of product placement.

    The Warrior Cats series

    While the whole page isn't bad, this section in particular is so hilariously awful that it is being kept for entertainment purposes. Do not remove it from the article.
    • Rename the series to "Cats, Clans, and Christianity”.
    • Replace StarClan with the Christian version of God.
    • Cram Christian messages into every book.
    • There's merchandise, and the characters advertise the merchandise a LOT.
    • The Library of Congress/copyright info includes "BUY OUR MERCHANDISE!"
    • Way too much toilet humor.
    • The writing is like a mix of My Immortal and Legolas by Laura.
    • Firestar is weak.
    • Make Scourge a Gary-Stu.
    • Make a subseries about another Clan we've never met that has to go through an emotionally heartwrenching quest. There is a lot of character development and heartbreaking scenes (such as Waterstar, the leader of the Clan, corrupting). But just when it is about to end, everyone says it's bad and leaves the fandom.
    • Onewhisker/Onestar is the main character, and Firestar is a supporting character.
    • Onewhisker/Onestar is replaced by a mentally ill cat named Noheart/Nostar who has tendancies to kill.
    • Have a bunch of 18-year old high school dropouts write every single book.
    • Noheart/Nostar swears every few lines.
    • It takes place in a town on the US-Mexican border, rather than in England.
    • In every book, Billy Mays shows up, no matter what, and gets more time to be described than anyone else.
    • Have Tigerstar speak in untranslated Traditional Chinese everytime he speaks - nobody understands it except Firestar.
    • In "The New Prophecy" subseries, the Twoleg construction project actually destroys all of Chelford. All of the characters are completely killed off. A message appears at the end of the subseries reading "YOU REACH END OF SERIES. NO MORE." Everyone turns out to be OK and alive in future books.
    • Make Tigerstar even more evil.
    • In "The Last Hope", Firestar's death is more graphic, and half of the book consists of describing stuff related to his rotting body (including the Latin names of all of the different insect species that are eating it).
    • There is MOUNTAINS of filler in the books.
    • In one book, Firestar spells out a phone number to call so you can receive a pack of Warrior Cats merchandise. He then proceeds to say "If you don't dial this number, I'll murder your damn family!".
    • Make BloodClan a rip-off of Team Rocket and have them curse every few sentences.
    • In each book, one chapter is dedicated to product placement.

    Wayside School

    • Create a horrible adaptation that crushes your soul 29 years later.
      • ...like what?
        • the wayside cartoon you absolute dumdum

    The Middle School Series

    • Rafe is a Gary-Stu.
    • In each book, one chapter is dedicated to product placement.
    • Leo is a huge jerk.

    Diary of a Wimpy Kid Series

    • Make it a Junie B. Jones rip-off.
    • Remove all of the drawings and make the writing really bad.
    • De-age Greg and Rodrick to a kindergartener and a 4th grader, respectively.
    • Make each book span a relatively short time.
      • And yes, I am aware that The Meltdown took place in six days' time.
    • The series has 100+ books.
    • Get rid of the funny content and replace it with unfunny and inappropriate content.
    • Add a huge crapload of plot filler.
    • Fill it with lots of clichés.
    • All of the characters are unrealistic and one-sided.
    • Get rid of Rowley and Chirag.
    • Greg has no friends.
    • Greg complains constantly.
    • The Heffleys are abusive.
    • Rodrick and Manny switch personalities.
    • Fregley does drugs.
    • The series ends with a cliffhanger.
    • It gets no movies, except for The Long Haul.
    • Once the pig appears, he gets the most attention.
      • He also talks and he doesn't run away.
    • Speaking of the pig, he gets his own spinoff and it is the only spinoff in existence.

    Julius Zebra series

    • Brutus is de-aged to a toddler who acts like a spoiled brat and does toddler stuff.
    • Julius and his friends are weak and always lose.
    • Offensive and off-color humor is placed throughout.
    • Remove the educational value.
    • It is a rip-off of Racing Stripes.
    • Replace the chariot race in the third book with Julius and Brutus singing nursery rhymes in a singing contest.
    • Julius' mother is abusive.
    • Felix collects poo instead of rocks.
    • Milus and Lucia switch personalities.
    • Since Milus and Lucia switch personalities, make Milus a rip-off of Leo the Lion.
    • Julius and his friends never go home.
    • Brutus is actually killed off in Grapple with the Greeks.
    • End the series on a cliffhanger.
    • Brutus gets a spin-off that is a total rip-off of Planet Sheen.

    Dog Man Series

    • Dog Man is extremely stupid
    • The whole points of the books are Dog Man getting fired and just getting over with it
    • Remove Lil Petey and 80-HD
    • Petey is the smart one and he always wins
    • In Brawl of the Wild Dog Man goes to jail for 30 years
    • Lil Petey dies
    • The illustrations look nothing more than squashed beetles.
    • Throw countless amounts of toilet humor to the point that you'll hurl to death.

    Wonder

    • Make it a picture book.
    • Really bad and offensive representation.
    • Chewbacca is replaced by Jar-Jar Binks.
    • The bullies are good.
    • The book ends with Auggie dying.

    Freak The Mighty

    • Don't make the film.
    • The book ends with Freak dying.
    • Make it extremely long.

    Captain Underpants Series

    • Make it incredibly boring and unfunny
    • Have the series end in a cliffhanger.
    • Straightwash Harold.
    • Remove Sulu, Crackers, and their hamsterdactyl children.

    Great Expectations

    • Have Magwitch kill Pip at some point
    • Have Miss Havisham die of natural causes instead of burning

    The Gumazing Gum Girl! Series

    • It's not Disney or Rhode Montijo.
    • It was written by PETA.
    • Gabby Gomez chews on poop-flavored gum.
    • Gum Girl is just a monsterous wad of gum.
    • Rename it either "Gum Monster Girl", "Cum Girl" or "Gum Mutants"
    • Gabby's catchphrase is "What could possibly go wrong?"
    • Ms. Smoot is similar to Miss Lucy Simian from Gumball.
    • Make look more like a horror superhero comics.
    • Add more adult jokes.
    • Remove the Escaped Monkeys.
    • Remove the "DUN! DUN! DUN!"
    • It's bloody and gore-y.
    • Robo-Chef steps on Bubble Boy, killing him.
    • More poorly written.
    • Hamster Hansen acts like Cuddle E. Hugs from SpongeBob.
    • Bubble Boy was a teen instead of the preschooler.
    • Have a terrible spin-off called "Planet Ninja-Rina", about Ninja-Rina accidentally crash landed on the strange-looking planet filled with toilet humor, similar to Planet Sheen.

    The One and Only Ivan

    • It does not follow the true story of Ivan.
    • The book is written by PETA.
    • The book demonizes zoos.
    • In addition, Ivan and Ruby are now sent to the jungles of Africa instead of the zoo despite being raised in captivity.
    • Ruby is a teenager instead of a baby.
    • Add an entire chapter dedicated to product placement.
    • Ivan always yells at Ruby, even when she is doing the right thing.
    • Ivan can't draw.

    Survivors

    • Make it repetitive (Like Warriors lol)
    • Make the dogs fight all the time for no or dumb reason (Like Warriors lol)
    • Make all the good characters that have not died yet, die. Example, Storm, Arrow, or Sunshine (Those are the only good characters left)
    • Make the dogs eat rabbits that ate freshly grown drugs and get the dogs high.
    • Make all the dogs useless and all die.
    • Make the storyline go absolutely nowhere.
    • Make Sweet an actual Karen.

    Hunger Games

    Rainbow Magic

    How the Grinch Stole Christmas

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