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    Kitchen Gun and Toilet Grenade

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    Kitchen Gun[edit | edit source]

    (sigh) This kitchen is so hard to clean. If only there was an easier way.

    Hi, I'm Derek Bum! Say goodbye to daily stains and dirty surfaces with new Kitchen Gun!

    This sink is filthy, but just three shots from Kitchen Gun-

    BANG BANG BANG! Sink is clean but with bullet holes in it

    -and it sparkles like new!

    Look how it cleans this greasy hob!

    BANG BANG BANG! Hob is clean but falling off

    Goodbye, dirt!

    Grubby tiles!

    BANG BANG BANG! Tiles are clean but broken

    I love new Kitchen Gun! (kisses gun)

    Rusty taps!

    BANG BANG BANG! Tap is clean but about to fall off


    You can even use it on the washing up!

    BANG BANG BANG! Plates are clean but in bits

    There, all clean again!

    New Kitchen Gun, now with laser sight and night vision for after dark cleaning!

    Toilet Grenade[edit | edit source]

    This toilet is so hard to clean! There must be an easier way.

    Hi, I'm Derek Bum and I'm declaring war on toilets with new Toilet Grenade!

    Just pull the pin, pop it in the bowl, put the lid down...

    And let Toilet Grenade do the rest!


    Toilet is clean but broken

    And the limescale's gone!

    Toilet Grenade! Bang, and the germs are gone!

    And now new travel Toilet Grenade, for foreign limescale!

    Kizzle Gun (Gizoogle)[edit | edit source]

    (sizzy) Dis kizzle be so hizzle ta clean. If only there was an pimp way ridin' in mah double R.

    Hi, I'm Derek Bum! Say goodbye ta daily S-T-to-tha-izzains n dirty surfacizzles wit new Kitchizzle Gat!

    Dis sizzink is filthy, but just thrizzee shots from Kitchen Gat-

    BANG BANG BANG! Sink be cliznean but wit bullet holes 'n it

    -and it sparklizzles lizzy new!

    Lizzay how it cleans dis greasy hob!

    B-TO-THA-IZZANG BANG BIZZANG! Hob be clean bizzle fall'n off

    Gizzoodbye, dizzay!

    Grubby tiles yaba daba dizzle!

    BANG BANG BANG! Tiles be C-L-to-tha-izzean but broken

    I love new Kizzle Gat! (kiszes gat)

    Rusty taps!

    BIZZANG BIZZLE BANG! Tizzap be clizzle but 'bout ta fizzay off


    You cizzy evizzle uze it on tha wash'n up!

    BANG BANG BANG and yo momma! Plizzles be clean but 'n bits

    Thiznere, all clizzay again! Subscribe, get yo issue.

    New Kitchen Gat, nizzle wit lasa S-to-tha-izzight n night vision fo` poser dark clean'n!

    Toilet Grizzle (Gizoogle)[edit | edit source]

    Dis tizzle be so hizzard ta clizzle! There must be an wanna be gangsta way.

    Hi, I'm Derizzle Bum n I'm pimpin' war on toilets wit nizzy Toilet Grenizzle spittin' that real shit!

    Jizzy pull tha pin, pop it 'n tha bowl, put tha lid down...

    N let Tizzle Grenizzle do tha rest!


    Tizzle be clean but broken

    N tha limescale gone!

    Toilet Grenade! Biznang, n tha gizzle be gone sho nuff!

    N now new travel Toilet Grenizzle, fo` foreign limescizzle like a motha fucka!

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