Plot[edit | edit source]
It has been decades since the events of the fourth film. Darby was finally rid of the face of the universe and everything was back to normal in the 100 Acre Wood. However as the years went by, the 100 Acre Woods had turned into a terribly deserted place. Drought cracks were everywhere, and there were barely any vegetation left. All of the trees are now hollowed out and leafless. The sky never turns blue, only shades of brown during the day and completely dark black during the night. The day was always too hot no matter what the season with the night taking over with its arctic temperatures. Every single sign of life seemed gone from the 100 Acre Woods and it just seems to deteriorate into something worse every single day that passes.
However, there were those that idiotically chose to stay in the woods because they have an IQ less than a rock's because they cannot even comprehend a decision to budge even just one millimeter to avoid the incoming boulder that should have just taken care of their misery. Who are they? Oh yeah. It is just Pooh and his friends because obligatory main roles in Pooh-related media.
Pooh and his friends have been starving and had hungered for real food for decades. The only thing that they have been consuming were "certain plants" that Rabbit would grow because they are the only thing that Rabbit has anymore (and no, they are not carrots). As their hunger and starvation mentally torments them even further, Pooh's friends have started to notice how big Pooh's stomach was. His stomach could have held billions worth of sustenance and the thought of that was so delightful to them. When Pooh finds out about this, he calls out for his friends who he could really trust now, Pooh's dad stinky, Pooh's great Uncle, and Christopher Robin, to protect him.
While they did their best to protect them, the others managed to get to Pooh. Pooh crapped the hell everything that was inside of him. "hunny," "hunny" everywhere. Everyone ravaged through the "hunny" like it was everyone's Bar/Bat Mitzvahs. While everyone else was "enjoying" themselves, Pooh was dying. Christopher Robin held Pooh in his arms with Pooh's dad stinky and Pooh's great Uncle watching close behind. As Pooh was dying and cradled by Christopher, he spoke his last words.
"Christopher... I want you to know that- *cough* You...are...my...*cough*.....Son." Christopher brought his tearful face closer to his father as they both shared their first and last passionate kiss. After what seemed like a long time, they pulled back and Pooh gave Christopher one last gentle smile. Pooh died. Christopher bawled. Pooh's dad stinky and Pooh's great Uncle wept as they brought out their last emergency alcohol. Everyone else kept eating the "hunny."
At the end of the day, everyone died. Christopher bawled the life out of him. The alcohol killed Pooh's dad stinky and Pooh's great Uncle. Everyone else died because of the "hunny" they consumed, which actually turned out to be Pooh's feces. Everything has gone down the drain. That's it. No more. There's absolutely nothing here to gain any new thing here, especially a new story. It's dead. It's over. THE END.
Cast[edit | edit source]
- Owl new.png
Pooh's great Uncle: "One last drink to Happy Days, ol' brother?"
Rabbit: "These are my last vegetables, Tigger, so don't ruin them! Strangely enough, these plants seem to create what the book calls "artificial highs.""
- Kanga roo.png
Kanga: "Total sausage fest up in here." :/ ; Roo: "Tigger, I want you sooo badly!!!"
- Eeyore new.png
Eeyore: "No one should care about me. Leave my emo self alone."
Gopher: "R.I.P.. Disney doesn't love me."
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- This is the first film in the main Pooh Goes Poop anthology to not feature Darby at all.