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    Random-ness Wiki

    A parody of Tubb the Pirate, but with the No Man's Pirates (and a few other No Man's Pirates characters playing other characters.)

    Script[edit | edit source]

    • (Following the Rubbadubbers theme song, Takara is rubbing herself with her cotton swab while the other Rubbadubbers play.)
    • Takara: Ah! Oh, this is the life! No worries, no cares, just, whoa! What was that? Ah! Spud!
    • Spud: The mighty Bibarel, arr, arr, arr, sipped silently through the water, arr, arr, arr, searching for something to eat. The mighty Bibarel, arr, arr, arr, eats anything! The mighty Bibarel, arr, arr, arr, is scared of nothing.
    • Takara: Boo!
    • Spud: Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh!
    • Takara: The mighty Bibarel is scared of Takara! Boo!


    • Spud: Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!
    • Takara: (laughs)
    • Waldo: Oh, careful, you'll get my tie wet!
    • Conrad: Where am I? Ah, oops! Ah, ouch! Oh, dear! Get me out of here! Oh, no! Oh, help!
    • Heymond: Wha-hey. What's that noise?
    • Takara: I don't know.
    • Conrad: Oops, ouch! Oh, dear! I can't see a thing! Ouch! Ouch!
    • Takara and Spud: It's a pirate! Ahh!
    • Waldo: Oh! Now my tie is wet!
    • Conrad: Heymond, is that you?
    • Heymond: Conrad, why are you wearing a pirate's hat?
    • Conrad: Benjie and Sis dropped it on top of me. Then I couldn't se- I couldn't se- I was blinded.
    • Takara: Aha! It's only Conrad.
    • Spud: Conrad! Then there's nothing to be scared of, is there, arr, arr, Takara?
    • Takara: Scared? Who was scared?
    • Spud: You were.
    • Takara: Me? Scared? Never?
    • Spud: Yes, she were, wasn't she, Waldo?
    • Waldo: Uh, well.
    • Takara: Let me tell you, that I was not scared. Startled maybe, but not scared. You were scared!
    • Spud: So were you!
    • Takara: Wasn't!
    • Spud: You were! You thought that Conrad, arr, arr, arr, arr, was a pirate!
    • Takara: Did not!
    • Spud: Did!
    • Takara: Oh, if only I were a pirate. I'd show you that I am never scared!
    • (Thought bubble transition to sea. Takara is wearing a pirate's hat, and she is on a pirate ship with Heymond, who is also wearing a pirate's hat and has a beard.)
    • Takara: Hey! I'm a pirate! Swimmin'! Ha-har! I am Takara the Pirate.
    • (A storm comes in.)
    • Heymond: It's a storm! Batten down the hatches! Trim the sails!
    • Takara: How do you steer this thing?
    • (Spud is seen wearing a red and white striped hat.)
    • Spud: I am a mighty Bibarel, arr, arr, arr! I eat anything, arr, arr, arr, arr!
    • Takara: Ha! I'm not scared of Bibarel; I'm a pirate! Har! Ahoy! Shiver my timbers!
    • (The storm stops.)
    • (Fades to Takara and Heymond sailing to an island, with Spud following.)
    • Heymond: Land ahoy!
    • (The gang gets onto the island, and Heymond falls off the boat.)
    • Heymond: Oof! Ow!
    • (Takara gets off the boat.)
    • Takara: Where do you think we are?
    • Heymond: On dry land, Captain.
    • Spud: Careful, there might be scary things on that island.
    • Takara: Ha! Nothing scares Takara the Pirate! Ha-har, shiver my timbers!
    • (Takara unrolls her treasure map.)
    • Heymond: Look, Captain! This is a map of an island with a treasure buried on it!
    • (Takara reads the map.)
    • Heymond: I think that this is the same island, and that's the X that marks the spot!
    • Takara: You mean there's treasure buried under that X?
    • Heymond: Splish splash splosh! There's only one way to find out!
    • Takara: Yeah! Let's dig up the treasure!
    • Both: Ha-har!
    • (Cuts to Spud, who is by the footprints of some sort.)
    • Spud: Excuse me, arr, arr! Hello, arr, arr!
    • (Heymond puts the shovel back in his hat, pulls out his telescope, and looks at Spud.)
    • Spud: I think you should come and look at this!
    • (Takara and Heymond walk over to where Spud is standing.)
    • Takara: Mmm, footprints!
    • Spud: Yes! And they're not mine! I'm a mighty Bibarel, arr, arr, arr! My feet look nothing like this!
    • Heymond: Neither do mine!
    • (Takara puts her foot next to the footprint.)
    • Takara: And they're certainly not mine! Okay, let's go dig up that treasure!
    • Spud: Wait a minute! Don't you know what this means?
    • Takara: Um, no.
    • Heymond: What?
    • Spud: We're not alone. Someone else is on this island!
    • Takara: So? They're pirates! If anyone's here, well make them walk the plank! Ha-ha-ha-har!
    • Conrad: (offscreen) Stop!
    • (Everyone is shocked. Conrad and Waldo pop up from behind the X.)
    • Conrad: You are not allowed on Contemptible Conrad's island!
    • (Cuts to Takara.)
    • Takara: Conrad, what are you doing here?
    • Conrad: I'm not Conrad, I'm Contemptible Conrad, the most wicked pirate in the seven seas, and this is my first mate, Wretched Waldo.
    • Waldo: Ha-har! (coughs) Oh, it's hard to make that sound without coughing.
    • Conrad: We are the bad guys.
    • Takara: Well, we're the good guys, and I am Takara the Pirate.
    • Conrad: And I'm Heymondbeard.
    • Takara: We've come here to dig up the treasure.
    • Conrad: Oh, no you haven't! That treasure is ours, isn't it, Wretched Waldo?
    • Waldo: On my tooth it is! Ha-har! (coughs) I don't like that!
    • Conrad: So go away.
    • Takara: But we've only just got here!
    • Spud: Psst! I think we should do as they say! Arr, arr, arr! They're scary!
    • Conrad: Go away, or we'll blast you with cannonballs!
    • Takara: Cannonballs? (laughs sarcastically) What cannonballs?
    • (Waldo pulls out a cannon from behind him.)
    • Waldo: The ones we're going to fire out of this cannon! (laughs)
    • Takara: (gasps)
    • Heymond: (moans)
    • Spud: (screams)
    • Takara: (chuckles) Let's get out of here.
    • Spud: Hey! Wait for me, arr arr.
    • (Takara and Heymond get on their ship and Spud emerges into the water.)
    • Spud: I told you they were scary.
    • Conrad: Fire! (Waldo fires a cannon.)
    • Takara, Heymond, and Spud: Whoa!
    • Conrad: Fire! (Waldo fires again.)
    • (The cannon firing continues.)
    • Takara: Oh, no! What if they hit the boat? We'll sink.
    • Heymond: And then we'll be eaten by Bibarel. Bibarel eat anything!
    • Takara: I wish they ate cannonballs.
    • Spud: Cannonballs? Arr. Arr, arr. I wonder.
    • Conrad: Fire! (Waldo fires cannonball, but only to have it eaten by Spud.)
    • Spud: (says "Arr" and crunches the cannonball simultaneously) Mmmm, tasty!
    • Takara: Did you see that?
    • Conrad: Fire! (Waldo continues firing the cannonballs, but still, only for Spud to consume them.)
    • Heymond: (giggles) Told you they eat anything. (giggles)
    • Waldo: Err, Contemptible Conrad, we're running out of cannonballs.
    • Conrad: Oh, no! (He throws his crutch at them and and then falls into the sand.)
    • Takara: (chuckles) They're running out of cannonballs.
    • Heymond: Yay! (giggles)
    • Spud: Aaah, that means I won't get any dessert, arr, arr, arr.
    • Takara: Eating those cannonballs was a swimmin’ thing to do, Spud.
    • Spud: Swimmin', but mighty scary.
    • Takara: But that's OK, everyone gets scared sometimes; but you can still be brave, Spud the Brave Bibarel. Pfft, if only I was as brave as you.
    • (Transition bubble sends Takara back to the bathroom.)
    • Takara: Aww, I'm not a pirate anymore.
    • Spunky: Make way for Spunky, the flying Toucannon! Neeeeooooowwww!!
    • Spud: (screams at the sight of Spunky.)
    • Spunky: Watch out!
    • Spud: (screaming continues).
    • Takara: What a nice dive, Spunky!
    • Spunky: (spits) Thanks, Takara.
    • Spud: I supposed you're gonna make fun of me now for being scared again.
    • Takara: No, I'm not, Spud. And you know why?
    • Spud: No. Why?
    • Takara: Because everyone gets scared, sometimes.
    • Spud: That's right. (and then suddenly scares Takara.) Boo!
    • (Takara startles in fear).
    • Spud: Even you! (laughs)
    • (then Takara and Spud both laugh)
    • Spud: Arr, arr, arr, arr, arr! (while laughing.)
    • Conrad: Rubbadubbers! Rubbadubbers! It's Bathtime Scramble!
    • Waldo: I am ready to make bubbles!
    • Takara: Swimmin'! (Heymond giggles in the background) It's bath time!

    Template:No Man's Pirates

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