The Jesuses is an animated television series produced by Lemonade Church Studios for The Steamed Clams Channel. The series follows the misadventures of a group of six Jesuses and their friends on Earth. The series started airing in April 2018 and ran for five seasons.
Plot synopsis[edit | edit source]
Six different versions of Jesus Christ live together in a large apartment in a coastal town called Saint Anthony's Bay in New England or Maritime Canada. All six Jesuses work at the town's IHOP and enjoy hobbies such as gardening, watching Fat Dog Mendoza, battling the forces of evil, and saving souls from sin. Together with their friends, they spread God's love to all who are willing to receive it.
Characters[edit | edit source]
Main protagonists[edit | edit source]
- Jesus One is the most compassionate Jesus. He is always trying to be helpful and solve others' problems. During season 5, his main rival was Mayor Vicky.
- Jesus Two is the most rational Jesus. He can be selfish at times, but he tries to do what's best for the group. During season 5, his main rival was Sailor Luna.
- Jesus Three is the handy Jesus with a hardworking pioneer spirit who loves to build things. During season 5, his main rival was Daria.
- Jesus Four is the most laid back Jesus. He plays bass in an alt-metal band. During season 5, his main rival was Gloria.
- Jesus Five is a Jesus with a passion for baking. One of the more laconic Jesuses, he is far from assertive and usually goes along with whatever the other Jesuses decide. He is calm and gracious, but he sometimes forgets to pay attention to what's going on around him. During season 5, his main rival was Bright Eyes.
- Jesus Six is the stoic one of the group with a grandiose sense of self. He is often seen drinking wine. During season 5, his main rival was Bluestar.
- God is the ultimate divine being and creator of the world. He is father to all the Jesuses, and he steps in when the Jesuses do some fuck shit.
- Darrell is the Jesuses' robot coworker at IHOP. While stubborn, angsty, childish, and petty, he is persistent and takes his job seriously.
- Jason is the cool and collected manager of the IHOP. While a bit odd, he is a kind-hearted boss who treats his employees well. He also has a tendency to chew on pencils.
- Fink is an aggressive, feisty, over-protective toddler-aged lab rat. Despite her cute appearance, she is somewhat manipulative, and will not hesitate to insult or rough up anybody in her direction. She also has a thing for mayhem and destruction. She lives with Venomous down the hall of The Jesuses apartment.
- Venomous is Fink's boss. He's God's right hand man, a catholic and lives down the hall of The Jesues apartment.
- Luna is God's assistant, a kind and rational magical pink dwarf rabbit. God occasionally sends her to the Jesuses to keep them in line. Both book-smart and street-smart, she usually acts as the voice of reason for the Jesuses and as a foil to their more eccentric personalities.
- Garth is a funny wolf boy. He's also Catholic, and the pet of The Jesuses.
Main antagonists[edit | edit source]
- Satan, now known as Elodie from the season 2 finale and onward, was the original evil bad man of sin. She has an existential crisis in the season 2 finale and becomes good, effectively removing her role as the main antagonist of the series.
- Satan 2, previously known as Red Action, is a lesbian from the future who took over Satan's role as the evil bad man of sin. She often yells at people to fight her, despite the fact she almost has no reason to fight. She is often mistaken for the red power ranger.
- Master Frown is a Satanist atheist who lives in the apartment below the Jesuses and hates them with a burning passion. He moved to Saint Anthony's Bay from Frowntown after he was fired from being a Doom Lord. He listens to Satanic death metal and performs evil rituals in his apartment, much to the dismay of the Jesuses.
Recurring antagonists[edit | edit source]
- Enid is Satan 2's minion and girlfriend. The two go on joyrides often.
- Kludd, also known as Metal Beak and Satan 3, is the leader of the Pure Ones, a group of evil owls from the Tytonidae group of owls. He teams up with Satan 2 in the season 3 finale, before betraying her and becoming Satan 3, the evil bad man of sin. He was defeated by his brother Soren, letting Satan 2 become the evil bad man of sin again.
- Nyra is Kludd's savage mate. She flees along with Kludd after they are defeated.
- The Pure Ones are a group of evil owls from the Tytonidae group of owls(With exceptions being Tarn the Burrowing Owl and The Striga), led by Kludd and Nyra. Notable members are Stryker, Wortmore, Ginger, Vaygar, Tarn and Uklah(AKA Purity and 92-01). All members flee after Kludd is defeated.
- Moon Snail is a minor antagonist in the series. Due to his die-hard Atheism, he rarely chooses to follow The Jesuses. He isn't evil, at least, not enough to join Satan or believe her deceit, but he sure is a nuisance for the Jesuses.
- Flametail is Moon Snail's boyfriend, and also a massive master of snark.
- Diana and Dian are Satan's troublemaking sibling pets who often accompany her on her evil embarks.
- Guido is a small poop-obsessed forklift who is a general nuisance for the Jesuses.
- Luea is minor antagonist and Luna's rival. While she is somewhat evil, she isn't evil enough to join Satan.
- Breezepelt, the only child of Nightcloud and Crowfeather, is a Satanist atheist along with his mom. He hates the Jesuses, Crowfeather, and his half-siblings with a burning passion.
- Nightcould is Crowfeather's second mate and the mother of Breezepelt. She is also a Satanist atheist.
- The Boss Baby is another minion of Satan. He's a baby who is also a boss.
- Little Bits is a small evil purple kitten who is a spy for Satan 2.
- Mechanikat is a cyborg cat villain who affiliates with Satan and later Satan 2 to eradicate holy things in the world. He has an intense hatred for dogs.
- Snooky Wookums is a Machanikat's subordinate who manipulates people with his cuteness.
- T.Matt is the turbo form of Matt Major.
- T.Paula is a turbo form of Paula Fox.
- Finnuala is a non-thotty traditionalist leprechaun who hates Dez and posts gang weed memes online.
- Freddy Freaker is a yellow gremlin who was the mascot of a phone hotline commercial from the 80’s. He is highly jealous of God and wants His power.
- The Paradox is a chaotic entity that threatens to destroy the universe in the season four finale.
Supporting characters[edit | edit source]
- Shannon is Darrell's spoiled, born again-Christian sister. Unlike her brother, she does not work at the local IHOP, but looks after Fink (alongside the Jesuses) because Professor Venomous is on an eternal business trip. She makes her debut in "My Sister, the Satanist".
- Parappa Rappa is an optimistic rapping dog who frequents the IHOP and is a good friend to the Jesuses.
- Matt Major is Parappa's best friend who is very cool and epic.
- Paula Fox is a fox girl who is totally dating Matt.
- Dez is a funny leprechaun boy with the ability to grant wishes.
- Cool Guy is the coolest guy around. He was the mayor of Saint Anthony's Bay until he was banished to Hell in "Re-Enter the Funk".
- Mr. Funk is a funky-fresh dude who was once dead, but was brought back to life in "Re-Enter the Funk". He later became mayor of Saint Anthony's Bay.
- Brock is a devout Christian who used to be Master Frown's roommate until Master Frown turned to Satanist atheism. He still tries to convince Master Frown to come back to the Lord.
- Crowfeather was Nightcloud's mate and the father of Breezepelt and his half-siblings. Unlike Breezepelt and Nightcloud, he is a good Christian. He tries to convert Breezepelt and Nightcloud in the season one finale.
- Pinto Rappa is Parappa's younger sister. In the episode “Pinto Becomes God”, she takes God’s place due to her super pure heart.
- Dr. Fox is a brilliant scientist and inventor from the Unikingdom. She occasionally turns up in Saint Anthony's Bay by travelling through rifts in spacetime and does various sciencey things.
- Puppycorn is an energetic, fun-loving, and kind blue unicorn-dog from the Unikingdom. In the episode "A Genuine Article", he follows Dr. Fox through a rift and winds up in Saint Anthony's Bay. He is chosen by God as an honorary Jesus due to his pure heart.
- Ansi is the landlord of the apartment the Jesuses live in, despite being only 10 years old. He worries about things a lot and is a self-described hypochondriac, and sometimes has trouble thinking things through. Despite all this, he's a quite rad dude.
- Rosebud is a fashion freak, the only female and youngest pup of her litter. During the World Tour arc, she was known as Rosebud the Rakish, but after being reformed she became known as Rosebud the Radiant. She is the leader of The Buddies, a subsidiary group of The Jesuses. She is very clever and sweet, but also snarky and feisty.
- Budderball is a glutton the oldest pup of his litter. During the World Tour arc, he was known as Budderball the Bloated, but after being reformed he became known as Budderball the Blissful. He is very fun-loving and hungry.
- B-Dawg is a rapper and the second oldest pup of his litter. During the World Tour arc, he was known as B-Dawg the Blatant, but after getting reformed he became known as B-Dawg the Beneficent. He always talks with slang words, which perplexes his siblings. He also likes to prove that he is not a coward, when in reality he is. He is very rebellious and self-centered.
- Buddha is a young Buddhist and the third oldest pup in his litter. During the World Tour arc, he was known as Buddha the Biased, but after being reformed he became known as Buddha the Brainiest. He is very calm and level-headed.
- Mudbud is a dirt lover and the second youngest pup in his litter. During the World Tour arc, he was known as Mudbud the Malodorus, but after becoming reformed he became known as Mudbud the Mellow. He is very adventurous and laid back.
- Manic the Hedgehog is a green hedgehog. He is a laid back dude with a valley accent. He plays drums in Jesus Four's alt-metal band, and he is a kleptomaniac.
- Kitty Bobo is a young adult yellow cat boy who aims to be popular and respected by his peers. He is awkward and bumbling, but can often be clever and self-aware.
- Susie McAllister is an aloof and cocky witch who is a camp counselor at Summer Camp Island. She owns a private island off the coast of Saint Anthony's Bay where she retreats to during the non-summer months. As a devout Catholic she adores the Jesuses, but she likes to antagonize some of the other characters just for the fun of it.
- Michael Stevens is the very cool and wise Vsauce man. He shows up sometimes when it's plot-convenient and is an important source of non-sequitur humor.
- Bluestar is the former leader of ThunderClan. She is introduced as the leader of the Six Divine Gals summoned by God to defeat the Paradox in the season four finale, and was the rival of Jesus Six until the season 5 finale.
- Daria is a smart and loyal blind gray wolf. She is introduced as one of the Six Divine Gals summoned by God to defeat the Paradox in the season four finale, and was the rival of Jesus Three until the season 5 finale.
- Gloria is a hardworking and irritable barista from Big City. She is introduced as one of the Six Divine Gals summoned by God to defeat the Paradox in the season four finale, and was the rival of Jesus Four until the season 5 finale.
- Mayor Vicky is the young and enthusiastic wide-eyed mayor of Big City (but not the same Big City Gloria is from). She is introduced as one of the Six Divine Gals summoned by God to defeat the Paradox in the season four finale, and was the rival of Jesus One until the season 5 finale.
- Sailor Luna is the Senshi form of Luna, a funny magic cat. She is introduced as one of the Six Divine Gals summoned by God to defeat the Paradox in the season four finale, and was the rival of Jesus Two until the season 5 finale.
- Bright Eyes is
an American indie rock banda kind and upbeat dog. She is introduced as one of the Six Divine Gals summoned by God to defeat the Paradox in the season four finale, and was the rival of Jesus Five until the season 5 finale.
Minor characters[edit | edit source]
- Angie Yonaga is a very spiritual and cheery teenager who is heavily involved in her religion, so much so to the point her life is almost entirely consumed by it. However, she follows a different kind of religion that is centered around the teachings of a god by the name of Atua. She is also titled the "Super High School Level Artist", but this could be fabricated, as whether or not she was truly an artist before receiving the title is unknown. She also uses words she made up herself, such as "bye-onara".
- Akiko is a Japanese ghost who exists and thinks God isn't real.
- Puffin is, as his name implies, a puffin. He's a lazy snarky bitch who eats potato chips and not much else.
- Alex is a male scottish fold Jewelpet who is one of Luna's friends. His best friend and lover is Brownie. He is logical and smart, but he sometimes goofs of with Brownie. He is also a bisexual, and is in a relationship with Brownie.
- Brownie is a hedgehog Jewelpet and is Alex's best friend and lover. He is part of Luna's friend group. He is very hyper and loves to play. He is a bisexual, dating with Alex.
- Peridot is a papillon Jewelpet who likes to sing. She is part of Luna's friend group. Peridot is lively, full of energy and is also nice.
- Amelie is a djungarian hamster Jewelpet that is part of Luna's friend group. She is very shy and loves peace.
- Ryl is a miniature pig Jewelpet who is part of Luna's friend group. She is fashionable and prideful, basically if Eliode was a Jewelpet.
- Koala Princess is a koala princess. She can transform into a koala, but gets pissed when you dismiss her as a normal furry animal. But honestly, she will automatically be your friend in like 1 second flat.
- The Chaw of Chaws is a group of owls that fight for good. The members are Soren, Coryn, Gylfie, Twilight, Digger, Martin, Otulissa, Ruby and Eglantine.
- Hilda is an excited and adventurous girl whose fascinated by the magical world around her.
- Speedy Cerviche is is the leader of the Samurai Pizza Cats with a strong sense of justice. He is very self-confident and loves to pose for the camera after each victory. He is sarcastic, often jokes, and gets easily irritated at times, but remains very committed to his duties.
- Guido Anchovy is the resident cool dude of the Samurai Pizza Cats. He is often seen chasing after girls, although he has little success in romance. He has a generally laid back attitude, but springs into action when there's evil afoot (or a dazzling damsel catches his eye). He has no relation to the Cars Guido despite sharing the same name. To avoid confusion, he’s usually called Guirec.
- Polly Esther is the only female member of the Samurai Pizza Cats. Although Speedy is the leader, Polly does her fair share of bossing her teammates around. She has a fiery temper and a dynamic, independent personality.
- 3D Louie is a 3D CGI model resembling Louie from DuckTales. Most are in agreement that he is a divine being composed of raw ether. He brings good fortune to all who cross his path.
- Gabe Newell, a founder of Valve Corporation, a game developer that doesn't make games anymore. Legend says he can't count to three.
- Danny DeVito is a holy divine man.
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The Pure Ones
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Parappa the Rapper
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Red Action/Satan 2
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Manic the Hedgehog
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Episodes[edit | edit source]
Rules[edit | edit source]
- All episode concept proposals have to be approved by Tornadospeed, PixelMiette, and Sorenrulescool5. Episode concepts can be proposed in the comments section of this page or in the show's designated channel on the Random-ness Wiki Discord. Anyone can make a proposal.
- Likewise, existing episodes cannot be scrapped or drastically changed without an okay from everyone on the show staff.
- Avoid proposing episode concepts that are greatly similar to an already existing episode.
- This is a Christian show, so keep it appropriate.
- Only one plot arc per season is allowed.
- Each season has twenty-six episodes.
Season 1[edit | edit source]
- "IHOPE We Can Succeed (Pilot)": The Jesuses try to make their IHOP more popular than the rival Denny's across the street.
- "Fat Hog Mendoza": The Jesuses fight over which episode of Fat Dog Mendoza to watch, but things get complicated when Satan shows up and does some fuck shit.
- "Runaway Darrell": Darrell quits his job at IHOP, and the Jesuses have to convince him to come back.
- "Smonk Whead": A bad drug man comes to town and tries to convince Darrell to try weed. Can the Jesuses keep Darrell on the side of good, or will he fall to the temptations of sin?
- "Jesus Six Messes Up": When Jesus Six turns multiple things, including the entire Bay of Fundy into wine, God takes away all his Jesus powers. Now he must prove that he is responsible enough to get them back.
- "Guidon't": Jesus Four's band gets a gig playing at a large venue, but Guido comes along with the intent of throwing a poopy party, so the other Jesuses have to keep Guido from ruining the concert.
- "Rad Rat": In an attempt to fit in, Fink decides to be ‘hip with the kids’, and this ends up in flames as God tries to snap Fink out of her phase.
- "The Religious Road Trip": The Jesuses, God, Darrell and Fink go on a road trip to promote their religious agenda and to help people convert to Christianity, but Satan tries to stop them.
- "My Sister, the Satanist": Darrell attempts to convert his sister, Shannon (who is a devout Satanist Atheist), to Christianity. However, it's not as easy as he thinks it will be.
- "Let's Play House": Shannon, Darrell and Fink have to put up with eachother while the Jesuses and the rest of the characters are away.
- "Sleepless Jesuses": The Jesuses try to stay up all night without falling asleep.
- "The Ugly Truth": Shannon wins tickets to take herself and a guest to a taping of her favorite TV show. She takes Fink to the taping, but the two of them learn and uncover a disturbing secret about it.
- "The Danish": Jesus Five bakes a batch of magical danishes which he shares with all his friends, but Master Frown shows up and steals a danish for use in a satanic ritual. The Jesuses and their friends have to find a way to break into Master Frown's apartment and get the danish back before its power is used for evil.
- "Neighborhood Watch": Fink attempts to catch Shannon and Darrell doing something shifty so she can rat them out to the cops.
- "Area 51 Comes to IHOP": Satan fabricates a story about an alien invasion at IHOP.
- "The Pain of Words": Fink accidentally hears Fat Dog Mendoza spoilers from one of the Jesuses. Calamity ensues.
- "The Great Schism on 201X": The Jesuses' friends start arguing over which denomination of Christianity is truest to God's word, and the Jesuses try to figure out the answer themselves.
- "Godless Town": Satan and her minion Master Frown take over the local Denny's and use it to turn their customers into Satanist atheists. The Jesuses have to find a way to convert them all back to Christianity and free the Denny's from Satan's reign.
- "The Jesuses Go to Olive Garden": The Jesuses go to Olive Garden. We’re in for a good time.
- "The Life and Times of The Jesuses": Hilda tries to make a bio of the Jesuses, so she starts to gather every scrap of info of them she can to make it. However, she gets captured by Satan in the progress, who uses all the data she’s discovered to use against the Jesuses, and The Jesuses must save her.
- "The J Team": After watching The A Team, the Jesuses decide to make a team inspired by it, but end up causing more harm than good.
- "Jason and the Jasons": Jason, Guido and Jesus Five decide to make their own band, and put it before their more important priorities.
- "Now Your Circuits are Fried": When a lightning storm takes place, Darrell is struck by it and it turns him into a Satanist atheist (similar to what happened to Shannon in Rad Likes Robots, except she didn't turn into a Satanist atheist). Can the Jesuses convert him back to Christianity or will he fall victim to Satan's regime?
- "We Love You, Jason": Jason feels sad for an unexplanable reason, and everyone else tries to make him feel validated and happy again.
- "Rawr Means I Love You": Shannon becomes a furry, and tries to keep it a secret, but Darrell ends up telling everyone. This angers Jesus One and Fink, and they, alongside Darrell try to make Shannon stop the sin she's committing.
- "Turbo Satanism": Fink is accidentally turned into T.Fink by a worried Darrell, who is trying to calm her down after a nasty tantrum. This is executed poorly, as everyone learns that T.Fink is actually a Satanist atheist, unlike the real Fink. Can the gang change her back to normal?
Season 2[edit | edit source]
- "God Help Us All": While Fink and Jesus Two are watching TV, the power goes out and a nasty storm takes place. When they notify the others, they do not know what to do and immediately call for God's help, but he is too busy to reciprocate their pleas.
- "La Mort est Inévitable": Jesus One, Two and Four make their own silent noir film, titled "La Mort est Inévitable" (lit. "Death is Inevitable").
- "When One Wall Shatters": While the Jesuses are watching Fat Dog Mendoza, Jesus Six is angered when the characters break the fourth wall in the episode they are watching. This leads to him taking out his oddly specific rage on everyone else.
- "The Jesus with Two Guidos": Jesus One accidentally uses his Jesus powers on Guido, leading the latter to have a clone of himself. Hilarity ensues.
- "Penguin Memorial Service": Shannon mourns the shutdown of Club Penguin, which gives God to show her Club Penguin Rewritten. She immediately begins playing and enjoying it, but Satan shuts down all the running servers.
- "Confuzzled Arsonists": Master Frown gives Satan the idea to commit arson on an abandoned schoolbus, but she ends up failing this task. Once again, hilarity ensues.
- "Kawaii Jesus Desuuu": When Jesus Five gets so obsessed with Nyan Neko Sugar Girls that he gets lazy and emotional and loses his job, the other Jesuses have to get him back on the right track and help him get his job back. Unfortunately, while in his weak and depressed state, Five is susceptible to dangerous Satanic influences.
- "Run Devil Run": When Satan's old friend, Enid, comes to town, the latter challenges a fight, which leads to Satan trying to back out and figure out how to turn an ancient wrong right.
- "Lemonade Stand": Jesus Five sets up a lemonade stand with the intention of making more money, but he get stressed out when everyone else wants to work aside him.
- "Satan Herself Fucks Up": One of Satan's rituals accidentally unleashes a demon who wishes to destroy the town.
- "Are You There, God? It's Me, Guido": When the Jesuses are fed up with Guido's obsession with poopy, the latter turns to God for guidance and advice.
- "Boxmore Reunion": Darrell and Shannon invite their siblings over. Hilarity ensues, again.
- "Cyberlying": Shannon and Enid insist that cyberbullying is not real when Jesus Three ends up being cyberbullied.
- "Alternate History": The Jesuses begin a trend of creating alternate timelines of world history, which gets so crazy that God has to intervene.
- "Seven's Heaven": The Jesuses find out that there is a seventh Jesus in Heaven, but God does not want them to visit him.
- "Re-Enter the Funk": One of the Jesuses accidentally resurrects Mr. Funk, and he's out for revenge on Cool Guy for murdering him many years ago.
- "Back to Jesus School": God sees a particularly disturbing episode of Fat Dog Mendoza and thinks that the Jesuses have strayed from His path.
- "Camp Jesus": The Jesuses, God, Darrell, Fink, and Shannon go on a camping trip together. The Jesuses ask God if Bigfoot is real, but God refuses to answer, so the Jesuses venture deep into the wilderness to look for Bigfoot.
- "Red Action Teaches Everyone About Christian Communism": Red Action teaches everyone about Christian communism.
- "Little Sister Satanist": Parappa's younger sister Pinto gets brainwashed by Satan and her minions, and she becomes a Satanist atheist.
- "Sh*t, Let's be Santa": God is fed up with the hypercommercialized version of Christmas, so He has the Jesuses and friends put a stop to it and return the holiday to its former purpose. However, to do so, they need to destroy the megacorp Christmas, Inc., which is run by Satan herself.
- "Stranger Danger": With the help of the Jesuses, Enid, PaRappa, Darrell and Angie make a home-made PSA about avoiding strangers.
- "Begone, Thots!": The townsfolk get fed up with Satan coming around every week and wrecking shit, so they rally to get her kicked out for good. Unfortunately, they turn on the Jesuses, too.
- "You Has Become Catholic": The Jesuses and the gang find an ancient relic that converts whoever looks directly at it to Christianity. Some of the Jesuses' friends want to use it to convert people, but the Jesuses find that immoral.
- "The Minecraft Episode": The Jesuses try to become Minecraft YouTubers, and compete with Satan to see who can reach one million subscribers first and attain the raw divine power that is granted to all Minecraft YouTubers who reach said milestone.
- "The Big Switcharoo": Satan has a existential crisis and becomes good, but someone else rises to take her place.
Season 3[edit | edit source]
- "The Brighter Side": Satan, who is now known as Elodie, tries to get on the Jesuses' good side.
- "Pet Peeved": When Jesus 3 brings home a small kitten named Little Bits, the others start to ignore Luna, so she, her friends, and (Surprisingly) Luea try to help her get rid of the evil kitten.
- "Film Rest": The Jesuses enter the annual Saint Anthony's Bay Film Festival, but making a film is a lot harder than they initially thought.
- "A Genuine Article": God notices that the Jesuses have gotten too worldly, so he finds the purest soul available and makes him an honorary Jesus.
- "Character Design": Jesus Four feels ashamed of the terrible fursona he made during his teenage years that shows up every year around Easter time, so the Jesuses work together to design a new and improved Easter character for the world.
- "Pinto Becomes God": Pinto becomes God for awhile when God takes a break from his job.
- "This Will Age Well": The Jesuses and Satan 2 have a meme battle.
- "Jewel-Napped": Satan 2 captures Luna and her friend group (with Luea) must save her.
- "When Life Turns you Turbo": Satan 2 embarrasses Matt for his crush on Paula in front of everyone, and he gets so upset he becomes Turbo Matt and terrorizes the town.
- "The Jesuses World Tour: The Journey Begins": The Jesuses and their friends get ready to go across the world to spread God’s love. Meanwhile, the Buddies fall under satanic influences.
- The Jesuses World Tour: California: The gang begins their trip in the strange land on the other side of the continent.
- "The Jesuses World Tour: Japan": The gang hops across the Pacific to the place where the OG Jesus is said to have lived and died.
- "The Jesuses World Tour: China": The gang visits China.
- "The Jesuses World Tour: Australia": The gang visits Australia.
- "The Jesuses World Tour: Ethiopia": The gang visits Ethiopia to support the local Copts.
- "The Jesuses World Tour: Germany":The gang visits Germany and encounters strange neopagans.
- "The Jesuses World Tour: France": The gang visits France.
- "The Jesuses World Tour: Chile": The gang visits Chile.
- "The Jesuses World Tour: The Journey Ends": The gang defeats Satan 2, saves the Buddies, and goes home.
- "New Villains in Town": The Jesuses meet the cats of Slash's group, and try to defeat Slash, who wants to steal all the food for himself, and who is kidnapping others and keeping them hostage.
- "Game Drain": The Jesuses and others get obsessed with a video game that was secretly made by Satan 2 to turn people into Satanist atheists.
- "Cats May or May Not Have the Capacity for Evil": Satan 2 sends Snooky Wookums off to the Jesuses house to set up a trap and brainwash them.
- "Aliens are Real... for Real!": Mechanikat sends aliens to attack Saint Anthony's Bay.
- "A Roaring Success": The other Jesuses help Jesus Four make a music video for his band's successful new single.
- "Get Ready For This": God gets so agitated by everything terrible in the world that He becomes... T.God!
- "The New Danger": Satan 2 teams up with a group of evil owls named the Pure Ones, and their leader Kludd betrays her and becomes the new evil bad man of sin, Satan 3. Can the Jesuses, God, Elodie, Satan 2, Enid, their allies and the Chaw of Chaws stop them?
Season 4[edit | edit source]
- "Honorary Jesuses to the Rescue": The Jesuses and their friends are captured by Satan, and the honorary holy figures (Puppycorn and Pinto) must save them.
- "Dognapped!": Mechanikat and Snooky Wookums capture nearly every dog in Saint Anthony's Bay and intend to destroy them.
- "The Worms Will Turn": Jesus Four snaps after being mistreated all day.
- "All Turbos Have Returned": Satan 2's newest evil plot brings back all the Turbo characters introduced thus far.
- "Please-a no Fleas-a": Satan 2, Mechanikat and Snooky Wookums's new machine turns One into a cat, Two into a bird, Three into a lizard, Four into a hamster, Five into a dog and Six into a lion. The now made animal Jesuses must try to return themselves to normal.
- "Welcome to Hell": Satan 2 unleashes a new evil onto the world that threatens to lull the entire population of Earth into sin, and the only way the Jesuses can stop it if they travel to the center of Hell. But first, they have to figure out how to get there with the help of unlikely allies.
- "The Unfulfilled Souls": After crossing the River Acheron, the Jesuses, along with their friends and the Buddies, end up in Limbo.
- "Second Circle": The Jesuses travel through the second circle of Hell.
- "Third Circle": The Jesuses travel through the third circle of Hell.
- "Fourth Circle": The Jesuses travel through the fourth circle of Hell.
- "Fifth Circle": The Jesuses travel through the fifth circle of Hell.
- "Sixth Circle": The Jesuses travel through the sixth circle of Hell.
- "Seventh Circle": The Jesuses travel through the seventh circle of Hell.
- "Eighth Circle": The Jesuses travel through the eighth circle of Hell.
- "Ninth Circle": The Jesuses and friends fight Lucemon Satan Mode in the center of Hell.
- "Journey to the Center of Budderball": The main characters shrink to a small size and go into Budderball so they can fight off a virus in his body, courtesy of Satan 2. It's the shrinking-and-going-inside-someone's-body episode!
- "Wish Gone Wrong": When Fink makes Dez wish for satanism to be completely eradicated from the face of the earth, it backfires terribly, and Satan 2 comes to screw shit up again. hilarity ensues.
- "When Life Turns you Turbo 2: Electric Boogaloo": After Paula embarrasses herself, she unleashes Turbo Paula, and so does Matt in despite. Calamity ensues.
- "Thirty Minutes or Less": The Jesuses end up having a pizza war with the Samurai Pizza Cats to be able to not pay for pizza, so they throw every obstacle they have in the Pizza Cats way.
- "T̏͗͝W̾̉̆Ơ͛̅ D̾̌͘O͛͒̌L͑́̕L̔̂͛Á̉͋R̄̄͝S͆̽̚ A͛̎̎ C̐̀͘Ã́̉L͊̀̀L̏̎̒": Jesus Four accidentally drops two dollars, releasing Freddy Freaker from Hell and kickstarting his rise to power.
- "The 3Dsuses": The Jesuses turn into epic and wacky 3D models of themselves. Epic things happen.
- "insert funny joke about counting to three here": For the good of humanity, The Jesuses ty to convince Gabe Newell to make games again.
- "Halloween, also known as Not-Christmas,": Satan 2 turns the Jesuses into ghosts as an epic prank.
- "The Origins Episode": A very epic episode in which we learn about the birth of the Jesuses, God discovering Luna, how Elodie became Satan, and more.
- "A Crossover Between The Jesuses and Black Magic Begone": Exactly what it says on the tin.
- "Aw Geez, This Guy Again": The Jesuses are confronted by their ancient foe, The Paradox, who threatens to destroy the universe. Another group of divine do-gooders tries to defeat the Paradox before the Jesuses do.
Season 5[edit | edit source]
- "Wrath of the New Villains: Shadowy Figure and The Unlucky 13": After a strange case of kidnappings, The Jesuses, Darrell, God and Luna meet Shadowy Figure and his group of underlings, The Unlucky 13, who turn out to be apart of the kidnappings.
- "Wrath of the New Villains: Crash and Burn": The Jesuses hunt down Unikitty and Puppycorn, who plan on capturing an entirety of non-hybrids and killing them by leaving them in a burning car.
- "Wrath of the New Villains: Big Trouble in Little Saint Anthony’s Bay": The Jesuses track down Lena and Diana, who are getting ready to poison Saint Anthony’s Bay’s water supply and blame dogs on it.
- "Wrath of the New Villains: Internet Scandal": The Jesuses track down Dr. Fox and Kitty Bobo as they prepare a scandal to gain top-secret government info.
- "Wrath of the New Villains: Funk in Danger": The Jesuses track down Speedy and Whopper, who have kidnapped Mr. Funk and taken over the town to declare war on all animals that aren’t dogs or cats.
- "Wrath of the New Villains: The Jesuses Turn?": While The Jesuses track down Parappa and Pinto, one by one they turn to the bad side. Can they snap out of it?
- "Wrath of the New Villains: Storm of Birds": The Jesuses discover Puffin making an army of birds to capture as many non-birds as possible and steal an amount of food in Saint Anthony’s Bay.
- "Wrath of the New Villains: The Final Straw": The Jesuses try to find the last two members of the Unlucky 13, Manic and Fink, before God snaps and turns back into T.God.
- "Wrath of the New Villains: To Save a Friend": After discovering that Shadowy Figure is Professor Venomous and that he’s turned on Satan, The Jesuses and the Unlucky 13 team up to turn him back to normal.
- "Grounded Grounded Grounded for Hearing Bad Word": God hears the Jesuses listening to Piggy Pie by Insane Clown Posse, a song riddled with profanity, so he forbids them to leave their apartment and subjects them to various harsh punishments. Meanwhile, Satan is free to conquer the town again in their absence.
- "The Jesuses, Caddicarus and Pippa Peg": The Jesuses watch Caddicarus's Peppa Pig videos and try not to get in trouble while watching them.
- "Satan Does Fuck Shit in the Next Apartment and Garth Tapes It": Satan does some weird ass shit and Garth and Darrell get it on video.
Production[edit | edit source]
The Jesuses is based on several emoji stories that took place in the Random-ness Wiki's Discord server. Some characters used in the roleplays were six different emojis of Jesus taken from drawings by DeviantArt user ChristianLPT. Tornadospeed created . It was futher developed by Tornadospeed, Sorenrulescool5, PixelMiette, RubbadubbersFTW DoraFTL, and Moon Snail. The episodes were written by Tornadospeed, Sorenrulescool5, PixelMiette, and RubbadubbersFTW DoraFTL.
Broadcast[edit | edit source]
The show's debut episode "IHOPE We Can Succeed" aired on The Steamed Clams Channel on 3 April 2018. One of the most successful original series on the channel, the series ran for five seasons with twenty-six episodes each, except for the fifth season which has twelve; the series was cancelled before production of the fifth season was finished. The series lasted for three years from 3 April 2018 until 1 April 2021 when it was "officially" replaced by its sequel, The Jesuses 2.
|Here lies The Jesuses's hopes and dreams|
Unfortunately, this project has been abandoned by its creator(s) and is therefore no longer being worked on. Despite the dormancy of this article, we still invite you to read it and enjoy.